Sunday, September 19, 2010

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

So yesterday was mine and Duckie’s 11th wedding anniversary and I didn’t even remember it until about mid-afternoon.  I had thought about it earlier in the week and I was glad that Duckie has a girlfriend to keep him entertained.  I debated on calling him or sending him a text saying something about it but what the hell was I supposed to say really?  I mean “Happy Anniversary” certainly wasn’t the right sentiment.  Ultimately I just let it slide and didn’t acknowledge it in any way with him.

Earlier in the week I finally busted him for his girlfriend (who lives in the same apartment building as me).  I felt like I had to address it because Ladybug told me that daddy and the girlfriend had taken her to the park last weekend. 

So I called him up and said we needed to talk about a few things.  I just threw it right out there that I knew he was dating my neighbor and he owned up to it. He said it entirely freaked him out when she told him where she lived.  Then I asked him about the whole park thing with Ladybug.

He swore it wasn’t a “romantic” situation and they didn’t ride there together or anything.  Still, I think it’s a little inappropriate.  I know the situation is different because the kids already know the girl from her being my neighbor and talking to her down at the pool and stuff but it’s still weird.  He said he’d only told the kids that she was a “friend” and that he didn’t intend to say anything else unless things got serious.

Duckie also said he’d talked to Leo about the fact that we both would be dating other people and reassured him that the kids would always be number one in both our lives.  He said Leo had a couple questions but he walked away seemingly satisfied with everything.

We talked about introducing people to the kids in general and weirdly, he said he didn’t want to meet anyone I’d introduce.  I think that’s kind of weird but whatever. I figured he’d have wanted to “approve” of anyone who was going to be around the kids but maybe the whole idea of me being with someone else is just not something he’s ready to face up to. 

My intention is not to introduce ANYONE to the kids until 1 – the divorce is final, and 2 – I’m super serious about someone.  Kids get attached way to easily and I just don’t want to bring that into the kids lives.  I was worried Leo had told Duckie about the night he accidentally met College Crush but it never came up so I guess Leo held his tongue.

I told Duckie to please let neighbor girl know that I knew about them and that it was ok with me.  I also told him to feel free to hang out at her place and not worry about that being weird, though he did say he thought that would be too uncomfortable.

All in all it was a very grown up and adult conversation that was handled quite well by both of us.  How weird to be talking to him about dating though!


PS - Challenge Update - I've only broken the rules of the challenge 1 time and that was the crazy drunken night.  When I looked at my phone the next morning I saw I had texted Flyboy.  But other than that I'm being strong!

1 comment:

  1. Good for you guys! I completely agree with your choice to wait and to not intro the kids to a string of people. If you meet Chloe, it will be b/c I'm damn near ready to move in with you. Russell and I have had this convo, but it will be interesting to see how it goes when it's finally time for one of us to introduce her.