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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Just Keep Living

Well the unthinkable has happened. I chose to break a date tonight with Hot Chocolate and am voluntarily staying home and doing nothing. That’s right folks, Miranda is at home on a kid free Saturday night and only a boy or two would even get my attention tonight.

Last night I mustered up the last of my energy and went out with the other Pof guy who is a builder. Wooderson, as he’s going to be known please get the obvious Dazed and Confused reference, is 34, divorced, has 3 kids, and he’s a big old lovable pothead. I met him at his house and the plan was to go grab some drinks and a late dinner. It was a beautiful night so we sat on his patio for a while and just talked and had a couple beers. About oh, 20 minutes after I got there he asked if I “smoked” and I said no and he asked if I minded that he did. I said no of course, I’m like the only freaking person I know (other than FJB) who hasn’t ever smoked.

After he smoked he casually mentioned that this wasn’t actually his house, it’s his parents. If this blog had sound effects you’d hear a screech right now. Apparently his building business has really been struggling, as is the whole real estate economy, and he held on to everything as long as he could and finally took up a couple side jobs in the last year. He put his house on the market but it didn’t sell so he decided to offer it for rent not thinking it would rent out. But it did. So he moved in with his parents about two weeks ago until he figures out where he wants to live. My gut is saying that “rent” money is turning into “smoke” money more than anything else.

So a couple beers turned into a couple more and frankly it was just so fun to sit there on this beautiful night and shoot the shit with him that I didn’t feel compelled to get up and go anywhere else. We sat out there for hours and finally it was getting chilly so we went inside. Now all this time he’d been quite the gentleman but apparently the beer and the smoke made him feel comfortable enough to plop right down next to me on the couch and cuddle up. Cuddling turned to kissing and kissing turned to making out, and next thing I knew we were hot and heavy. I will say that I stuck to my guns and no item of clothing was ever removed from my body. That’s not to say things didn’t happen but still I managed to keep my clothing rule intact one way or another.

Eventually we were just lying on the couch and I knew I had to get up and go home in order to work this morning. So I left. Today, Gwyn was filling in another friend about my crazy dating week and it turns out this friend hooked up with Wooderson many months ago. What a small freaking world! Her only warnings to me about Wooderson were that 1 – he’s a sex fiend, 2 – he has lots of ex wife drama, and 3 – apparently he has a real fondness for sticking his fingers in your ass. LMFAOOOOOOOO!

Ever since the other night with Hot Chocolate I’ve felt a great reluctance to be more involved with him and I can’t quite figure out why. I just knew as the day progressed I didn’t want to go out with him tonight more and more. So I cancelled the date early in the afternoon and told him we’d reschedule. I think more than anything I just don’t really know how much I like him and I feel like he really likes me and I don’t want to lead him on until I know where my head is at.

So I’ve grandma’d it up this afternoon laying on the couch which has been quite delicious in all honesty. I started watching one of my new favorite movies – 500 Days of Summer – and it struck me how much the relationship between the main characters reminds me of mine and FJB’s. Obviously we haven’t been involved for 500 days but still the ups and downs and the way one person is tortured by the other one not feeling the same is quite similar. If you haven’t seen the movie this cute, quirky girl (aka FJB) and this guy start dating. He falls hard for her but she’s reserved. Eventually she lets her guard down some but it’s never enough for the guy. They try and try to be together but in the end she breaks his heart. Awesome movie and it starts Joseph Gordon Levitt who is so super cute. By the way, in the end he moves on with his life and is happy. But watching this movie tonight has made me feel more than a little wistful.

Randomly, as I was typing this post Sawyer called me. He said he’s been missing my voice big time and that he was just out running errands and wanted to call and talk to me. It’s been oh a month of so since the last time we saw each other though we do still email a couple times a week, nothing like we used to though. We talked for a bit and he told me about a couple dates in November when the wife will be out of town and how he’s determined to spend the night with me if “I don’t fall in love with someone” before then. WTF?

I swear he sounded more than a little wistful himself and like he really missed me big time. I think he’s becoming more and more unhappy in his marriage. I feel bad for him but I can’t make any emotional investment there or feel that much sympathy for him since he chooses to stay. Sometimes I wonder if he ever did leave and he wanted to be with me, what would I say or do with that. Months ago I’d have jumped at the chance to have a relationship with him, now I don’t know. I’m not going to lie, there’s a certain chemistry there and I actually think it would be an easy relationship to have. I just don’t know that it’d be a healthy one.

Miranda

PS – By the way, Duckie and the neighbor girl are now BF/GF! HA! Bless them. Today Duckie brought the kids to a work thing for me and I tortured him a bit talking about the neighbor girl and all the things I know about her. I was hoping he’d man up and tell me they were together but he didn’t. Once a pussy, always a pussy. In all seriousness, it doesn’t bother me that they are together but he needs to man up and tell me about it. This town is pretty freaking small and it’s only a matter of time before I torture him or her and get them to fess up.

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