Wednesday, August 31, 2011

No Hump Day Hump

Team down...I repeat Team Down. :(

Owen is on lock down at home today. His wife changed the school schedule and sadly he was not in charge. I'm really getting tired of her. (meant to be funny, but mostly serious as well...rude.) It's not like she's giving it to him, why make him (me) suffer too?

I talked to Gavin last night and he told me that his dick is killing him. He said it's bruised and the scratch has yet to heal, so sadly I'm not getting any there either. I'm hoping he's better by Friday though!! I'm planning on some serious sex this weekend, although it will all have to be done around his kid.

So I guess since I'm not getting any this morning...I better get my ass to work!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Next at Bat

A quick addendum to yesterday’s post… Yesterday afternoon after my delightful lunch with the Giant Ginger, he texted me a couple funny and sweet messages.  He asked if I had plans for after work and I told him I had a softball game.

A few texts later I found myself inviting him to the game and then to hang out at my place for a little while.  This is part of the “new” open, willing to take risks Miranda.  So he showed up for the game, which made me incredibly nervous as I played.  We chatted a little bit between innings and then he offered to carry my bat bag to my car for me after the game lol.  My sister in law plays on my team and we were talking after the game so he also got to meet her, which was weird and funny all at once.

Afterwards we went back to my apartment and I jumped in the shower to take myself out of the jock version of Miranda and back into some semblance of my normal self.  We spent the next 3 hours on my deck talking about everything under the sun.  The Giant Ginger is a very interesting guy.  Quite the opposite of McKing – polar opposite in fact in a lot of ways.  There was some causal touches and innocent footsie playing but that was it.  When I finally sent him packing there was a long lingering hug and it about killed me not to look up at him and lay a kiss on him.  But I didn’t. 

Today he asked me to lunch but I declined because I felt like I should (plus I really wanted to watch True Blood over my lunch hour – vampires = HOT).  But I have to admit, I’m kind of dying to see him again.

True to form, McKing has also called me twice today though he gets his daughter back and I’m sure he’ll be MIA the next few days after this one.  He did ask me if I had plans for the weekend and upon hearing that I didn’t said he wanted to make sure we did something this weekend. 

Coach has been much more distant this week thankfully.  Though he did IM me yesterday to say he was having back surgery next month and to remind me that today was his first counselor appointment.  Whatever!

I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week brings!


Monday, August 29, 2011

And We're Off....

Ok a little of the old Miranda is coming out combined with the new Miranda.  Yes, I realize I’ve been talking about myself in the third person lately and yes, it’s weird.  HA! So in my last post I was talking about all the boys in the early stages of recruiting for Team Miranda.  There were quite a few I started out talking to (re: old Miranda – date them all approach) but I’ve narrowed it down to two front-runners (re: new Miranda – only date 1-2 at a time so she can actually learn to like someone specific).  Those players are McKing who’s still floating around and a new guy who’s going to be known as the Giant Ginger.

So McKing has kind of been up and down.  I swear the days he has his daughter it’s like he goes MIA totally and completely.  Even when he’s working, he may send a text or two but that’s it.  Then bam – the daughter is gone and he’s blowing up my phone.  I’m not sure what this weird communication pattern is.  Honestly after he’s MIA, I start to feel a little more whatever about him but then he pops back up and he’s funny and smart and keeps me intrigued with great conversation.  Being able to hold a conversation on the phone and in person are two very different skills – two he masters quite impressively.  Especially because unless you’re a BFF I pretty much hate talking on the phone.  Sure, I’ll text for hours with you but unless you give good phone, I will find a reason to get off after mere minutes.

So with McKing, I’m just seeing where it goes with him.  I haven’t seen him since he stopped by my house that night but we’re supposed to have lunch this week again.  I’m starting to feel like I need a kiss from him to determine how much I really like him.  But at the same time, I’m kind of digging this “hands off” approach.  I’ve always said how much I love the anticipation that builds up before the first kiss happens.  The “accidental” touches, the brush of a hand, feeling the chemistry build and build and build. 

The other new guy is from my OkCupid crop.  The Giant Ginger – HA!  He gets that moniker because he’s a red head (think reddish gold not Ronald McDonald red) and he’s wait for it…..6’6.  Yes 6’6.  Y’all know Miranda’s crazy for tall guys.  He’s the tallest guy so far, wait, there was the original Giant (he with the very average penis but ginormous balls).  Ok but the Giant Ginger is way cuter than the Giant was.  Basic stats – he’s 41, country boy, red hair, blue eyes, divorced over a year, 2 teenage kids, and he is an insurance salesman who helps run his dad’s insurance business.  He also is a part time EMT and he umpires/referees sports for his kids.  And he’s an awesome texter - as in I might have met my texting match. 

The first couple phone conversations weren’t bad but he’s not the suave talker McKing is.  Though today I had a very impromptu lunch with him and the conversation was great in person.  He is ADD though!  He told me that before lunch and let me assure you it was true. Though I will say he is able to hold a conversation and be ADD at the same time, which is interesting.  The Ginger Giant kind of made me think of good old Lawyer Boy (he of the pretty penis) in that he has a million stories and while he’s telling you stories, he’s asking random questions, playing with whatever is on the table, tapping his foot, and looking around the room between holding intense eye contact.  If I hadn’t have dated Lawyer Boy it would have thrown me for a loop.  Fortunately, Miranda earned her PhD in dating an ADD boy though.

After lunch (which he drove me to and from – bonus points), we chatted for a bit longer before I headed back to work.  He gave me a big hug (another hugging guy??), said he would love to see me again soon, and told me he’d talk to me this afternoon.  Then he always walked me to my car, opened the door, and closed it for me.  This dating guys with manners who at least from the outside seem to be gentleman rocks! 

I’m not sure which guy is ahead in the ranks right now because while they have some similarities they are really different.  I have to say after today I’m really drawn to the Ginger Giant though. 


PS – I did fess up this weekend to the girls that all I keep wondering though is if the carpet matches the drapes.  I’d say 95% of the guys I’ve been with have been brunettes or raven-haired.  Neither Gwyn nor Jules have been with a redhead so they can’t share.  Do any of y’all know lol?

Innocent Sexting Turned Naughty Fun

Owen started texting me around 9:15am letting me know that he was working around the corner from my house. I told him that I was on Mom duty today and that unless his partner wanted to babysit, I wasn't free. :( He made a reference to fucking me over a jet ski in the supply closet and things went uber sexual from there!

He sent me a pic and told me how hot he was for me and I sent him a text back telling him that I was going to masturbate with my glass toy in the shower. He suggested he meet me in my driveway and again I declined b/c mini me was home. We discussed options while he was requesting pictures of me with beads in my ass and a toy in my kitty and eventually we came around to him pulling up to my neighborhood and me running up to meet him for a quickie while Chloe was glued to the TV. Go ahead and judge...whatever. ;)

I put Chloe in front of the TV and walked to the trash (my excuse for leaving) and his van with anal beads in my ass prepping me for him (per my instructions). I got in and he was laid out waiting for me. He took his shorts off and started stroking his cock. I quickly got in between his legs and sucked him until he was very hard. He got up and got behind me and fucked me for countless orgasms. I mean this man not only makes me act like a teenager, but he makes me cum an unbelievable amount of times every single time I see him.

He wanted to be in my ass with the beads, but because of time and the fact that I'd already played with them for the sake of pictures earlier...I was not able to accommodate both. I could take just him though and he pulled the beads out and replaced them with his huge cock. He fucked me so hard and I provided him with a blow by blow of what I had been thinking about 45 minutes earlier when I was sending the pics and masturbating. He came so hard in my ass and then he kept going because he knew I had a few more cumming. I finally came so hard with him laying on me and pinning me down that I clinched everything and ended up clinching my ass super hard around his cock. OMG he LOVED it. I thought for a second he might cum again.

We finished and cleaned up. He kissed me and told me that he would definitely see me Wednesday That's our new day of for sure sex. I love it. Happy Hump Days for Jules and Owen!! I raced home and Chloe hardly even noticed I'd been gone.

In other news, Gavin called me like 50 million times today but seemed to get the vibe I wanted me time. We had Russell's bf over tonight for a farewell dinner since he leaves this week and I wanted it to just be us. I did go ahead and book my trip today for Kauai with him for next weekend though. I'm sure lots of hot, dirty sex will follow. In all of our convos today, he did not mention his injury but I suspect it's the other reason he didn't cum over today.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Bout of Epic Awkwardness

I don't even know where to start this one. Gavin did not come over last night as it seemed he sensed my vibe. He's called me about 200 times today though and I told him he could come over for dinner. When I got home, I met him and we went shopping at the local supermarket for dinner. A few months ago, he met one of my new neighbors and helped her move in some stuff. He said she was pretty into him, but she's not his type at all so it was totally one way. I didn't think about it again, until she saw him in the market and they started conversing. She looked at me with much question as he introduced us and a few minutes into the convo she looked at me again and asked him if he was still living with "Julie" or "Melissa" or whatever his gf's name is up at Sunset. He stumbled along and said "Well, sort of but uh not really. She's going to the mainland every 2 weeks and we're kinda whatever, mostly over I guess"...awkward pause, side glances at me. I decided to go check out the cheese selection on that note.

Chloe and I met up with her again in another section while Gavin was off gathering items and at that point she was rather chatty. It was an extremely odd conversation all around though. I was quite happy when she said she had a cook out to get to and needed to run. I don't normally take him seriously when he tells me about all these girls that are into him, but she clearly was. I mean he's fucking hot as hell, but he's also fairly damaged goods up here with the whole gf situation and all. Most people don't want to get involved in that drama. I just stay comfortably at the outer edge of it. I'm not demanding of him, so when she is around she only minimally notices his absences and he manages to lie well enough that we fly under the radar.

When we get home, he's dying to fuck me. I had dropped Chloe off at the neighbor's house on the way home and he came in and noted that she was gone and started pressing against me. I was in the kitchen and the back door was wide open. He kept pressing against me and talking dirty to me and reaching under my skirt to play with me. I was wet and eager to take him in, but suggested he close the door because if Chloe did walk back up the road she could see us fucking in the kitchen and that might scar her for life. He had his shorts half off, his hard dick out, and moved over to shut the door as she opened the front door and announced her return. The look on his face was priceless. I mean priceless. He ran outside to finish up his laundry (read get his dick down) and I chatted with her all flustered and laughing.

About an hour later, she leaves to go to the aforementioned neighbor's house for a sleepover and Gavin and I are on the porch fooling around. I have my foot on his crotch rubbing his dick and he says we have 15 minutes before dinner is ready. We go inside and he places me on my back on the bed and he stood over me. When I'm in this position, he loves to watch me rub my kitty while he fucks me. He also likes my legs apart and I like them together over his shoulder. We were moving between the two positions and he was leaning down and sucking my tits and watching his cock slide in and out of me and it was sooooo hot and then he came out of me during one of the thrusts and because my fingers were moving rapidly across my kitty, my nails were pointed out in the direction of his cock...and you can probably guess what happened next. Yep, I scratched his cock and he started bleeding. It wasn't an overly deep scratch, but I hit it at just the right angle. He went down (literally). I have never, ever had this happen before. Owen scratched me accidentally once, but I've never done it to a guy and had him bleed.

I seriously had no idea what to do with him at that point. I didn't know what to offer him or anything. I finally ended up giving him a tissue to put on it. He kept that on there for a long time and I brought him a shot of tequila and apologized profusely. He said he knew that I would never do that on purpose, but holy fuck I hurt him. I felt so bad. I love his cock, I would never hurt it and if I did it would be after we were finished! (Just kidding!) He finally got it to stop bleeding and just laid in the chair in my room holding it. Then he asked for a band aid and I lost it. I could not stop laughing and sure enough he put one on it after much hilarious discussion about what size band aid he needed.

We ate dinner and planned our trip to Kauai next weekend. I have decided to go. I like him. I've wanted to go for eons. He's going that weekend and I know it will be super fun. I'm not taking Chloe because she has showed her ass about it all and had decided that she would rather go camping with some friends of mine instead, until I decided that it was ok if she did that and I went alone and then all of a sudden she flipped that I was leaving her home. I talked to Russell and we decided that I am totally right about leaving her here based on her attitude. It's tough love time and I kinda suck at that b/c of all of my maternal guilt doubled with the fact that Gavin really wants her to go. It is the right decision though based on her behavior toward him and her attitude toward me about taking her.

After dinner, he came inside, started watching porn, and playing with his cock. All through dinner, he kept complaining about it hurting so I was shocked he was even attempting to resume anything. He asked if I would suck his balls and lick him (around the bandaged area). I said yes because I was feeling very guilty about hurting him and we ended up taking off the band-aid and I licked and sucked his cock and balls and he finger fucked me until we both came. I wasn't about to suggest anything else b/c I think my juices would have burned the crap out of him. As it was, if I accidentally licked the injured area he whimpered. He ended up satisfied though and it was all good. I suspect it will heal quickly because my scratch healed in like 2 days. He kissed me and went home to spend the night with his son and race with him tomorrow in preparation for this trip.

What an awkward evening!! August, seriously...we are DONE. Fuck you!

Saturday, August 27, 2011


Well I cleared the house on my end...Russell at work, Gavin blown off, Chloe at a sleepover...moments of silence have now descended blissfully on my house. That silence was just interrupted by a series of texts from Owen saying that there is full on drama at his house between his wife and daughter and he has to go straight home to deal with that after he gets off. No super hot, nasty sex for us tonight. I know I could call Gavin over for some, but honestly I am RELISHING in this moment of silence at my house and I'm glued to the TV watching hurricane coverage with a huge glass of wine....ahhhhhh.

I told Owen clearly it wasn't our day. The universe (or more precisely his wife) thwarted both attempts to hook up today. I'm taking it as a sign, like maybe I avoided a pregnancy or something!

PS I hit send and Gavin called. He asked if I was busy and said that he sensed in my energy earlier that I had other plans tonight.Sometimes he really is perceptive, other times not so much. I just told him I'd been out getting my hair done and didn't want to eat dinner out as he had proposed. Fortunately as we were chatting, a friend of his pulled up so I'm thinking I can still manage a quiet, alone evening.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Wake Up Text

Gavin came over last night and we hung out. No sex, just hanging. The reason for the no sex thing was simply b/c we drank enough to float a boat and passed out in different rooms. Initially, I was on the couch and he as in my bed. At 1:45am, we switched and I went to my bed and he went to the guest room. I left him sleeping in the guest room this morning when I went to work, but I was kind enough to make him coffee. It was kind of nice just hanging out with him too. I’m still frustrated by his continuous complaining about his life and the gf, but his unwillingness to change any of it. It’s starting to wear thin, but ultimately he’s fun for now (mostly).
I woke up to my alarm at 6:45am and hit snooze as I am apt to do every morning. A few minutes later, I received a text. Owen said “Good Morning! Do you have time to play with me today?” Um, yeah I’ll make some time!! We sexted for a good 45 minutes while I got ready and then I headed to our spot since Gavin and Russell were at my house. He texted me that he was called back to meet his wife to deliver the daughter’s left behind English project and then he would be on his way. Then, a few minutes later, he said he had to turn completely around and go back home again to email something from his wife’s computer. He couldn’t say no b/c he was supposed to be home anyway and not out screwing his mistress. I couldn't wait for him because I needed to be at work and I've been late every day this week already.
We finally decided that tonight after his side job ends at 9pm, he can come over on the way home. Now if I can just keep Gavin away tonight, we’ll be all good! In an interesting twist, Owen is always very giving sexually. I mean so completely giving. His pleasure seems totally wrapped up in mine. Today he switched it up a little (not ignoring my pleasure at all though) by asking for me to basically just worship his cock. He sent me a text asking me if I could stroke him, suck him, lick an d suck his balls, play with his cock between my tits, and then ride him both with my kitty and my ass, and swallow his cum when I’m done. I love when he tells me what to do, so I told him I was more than happy to do this for him. Check back tomorrow to see if we actually get to meet up tonight!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Sexy Wednesday

Well yesterday was a slutty, sex filled wonderland! It started with Owen. He had texted me Tuesday night when I was in class asking me if I was in town and if we could meet up since he was hanging out waiting out traffic. Sadly, we were unable to hook up because of the length of class but we did plan for the following morning! He came over bright and early after dropping the kids at their respective schools and told me to roll over into my favorite position. He crawled into bed and laid on top of me, kissing me, and slipping a finger into me. I was already very ready and he rubbed his hard cock all around my girly parts before entering me. That initial moment when he enters me is one of my favorite parts of sex. It always takes me breath away for a second.

He gave me sooooo many orgasms, all while talking very dirty to me. I love when he stops moving and tells me to fuck that cock. It turns me on so much! I was so wet and then he said he wanted to fuck my tight little ass. He said he's obsessed with my ass and dreams about it. Yum! ;) He entered me and again, it was breathtaking for a moment. He was giving it to me so well that right before he came, I had my fingers in my kitty and I actually squirted and soaked my hands. I told him right after he came because I didn't want to distract him at the time and he actually moved his hands to feel the pillow I was laying on top of. I've never had a man feel for where I soaked the sheets before. It was funny and sexy and weird all at the same time.

We jumped in the shower and did our usual sexy, soapy clean up. God I love when that man soaps me up and  kisses me...sooooo sensual. I could go again right then every time, but sadly it's also right when I'm already about 15 minutes late anyway. He left and I threw the sheets in the wash and jumped in the car and raced to work.

Gavin called me around lunch time. I let him call twice before I called him back. He had very obviously been in my house the day before going through my stuff. I'm on an antibiotic for something non STD related, but I decided that if he asked about it I was going to tell him it was for the clap...purely to give him a moment of horror as payback for going through my stuff. We talked and he asked me to dinner. It seems the gf is back off island for two weeks. I agreed to dinner. He also asked if I was still planning to go to Kauai with him over Labor Day and I said I didn't know. I'm not sure if I want to go just yet.

We went to dinner and had a great time, as always. I gave him shit for being so MIA lately and he said it's because he's been super busy trying to get his son sponsored and working to pay for everything related to the Kauai trip. He said he's definitely missed me and that he tried to come over Sunday, but I was obviously busy with Russell. Then he asked about the antibiotics. I told him that I really hate him going through my stuff. I told him that I get tested bi-annually and that if I have anything I would tell him, as we have discussed numerous times, because I'm a fucking adult. And then I said, "But it is for the clap...sorry to tell you this way, but you haven't had a phone for almost 2 weeks". LMAO! His face was priceless. I quickly told him otherwise, but I gave it a second and then I told him it was payback. He apologized and said he really hadn't been going through my stuff but it had just been out on the counter and he was using my bathroom and noticed it. I suppose that's plausible, but I also think he does go through my stuff when I'm not here too.

Anyway, we had a fun dinner and then he said he wanted to come home with me. I acted coy, but agreed. He   got here and we sat around drinking and watching TV for a while. It was a Real Housewives of NJ night and that's my guilty pleasure. OMG I just admitted that out loud. It's on the world wide web....thank god I use an alias. He kept reaching over and playing with and sucking on my tits. He pulled me over to cuddle with him on the couch and finally I told him we had to move into my room since Russell was home. We did and had copious amounts of foreplay. He got me off multiple times with his tongue and his fingers and then we were laying around watching porn and he was massaging my shoulder (By the way, I did finally tell Owen we can't have sex like that anymore. He was upset I hadn't told him sooner because he said he never, ever wants to hurt me.I told him I didn't want to tell him because it made me feel old.) All of a sudden, there was a knock on my door. I got up and it was Russell. I was immediately afraid we'd been loud and he'd heard us, but he was very nicely bringing me a piece of chocolate. I left my room and hung out with him in the kitchen talking for a while.

When I went back in, Gavin gave me the 3rd degree about being out there with him for so long. What had I been talking about? Were we smoking? Etc...I nipped that quickly and told him he's my best friend and still presently my husband and if I want to go out and talk to him, I will...any damn time I feel like it. He agreed and resumed massaging me. Finally, he pulled me over to suck on him and then gave me a great fuck. He got behind me in doggie style and pounded me like he does! I finally crawled up the bed some and laid flat and we fucked more in this, my favorite position. He knows about the antibiotic and that it makes my pill ineffective. I was a little afraid he might not comply with my order to not cum in me for the next 6 weeks, but he promptly pulled out and shot a huge load of cum all over my ass when he finished. I was happy he listened, especially since he's been going through this whole I want another kid thing.

We cleaned up and he asked if I would be upset if he went home to sleep in his bed. Has he forgotten who I am?? I told him not at all. I'd told him earlier in the night that he could not sleep in my bed anymore since Chloe's home and he said initially he would stay in my bed for a while and then move into the guest room during the night, but I guess he decided he wanted to go home which suited me just fine. It was a great sex day and I'm pleased to say sans emotions! Normal is back! Hallelujah!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Giddyup Cowboys

Holy hellzbola.  After my whiny “I’m tired and ready to go to Hawaii” post yesterday it’s like a huge blinking light must have went off above my head signaling to the boys that they need to step their game up.

Last night I logged on to both Plenty of Fish (aka Land of Lots of Losers) and OkCupid.  Plenty of Fish had a crap ton of guys (re: losers) who had messaged me including a very cute country boy.  I spoke with him briefly on the phone and he seems nice but I’m not sure there’s much going on up top.  And by that, I mean in his head, not on his head.  Why do I attract so many country boys?  Maybe I need to just give it up and become a white trash woman.

OkCupid was on overload with a ton of cute, (seemingly) normal, (seemingly) smart guys who had messaged me including the proverbial Jewish doctor.  Somewhere a Jewish mom’s heart just broke at the idea that a Shiska could be taking one of the rare finds. 

I’ve been exchanging emails with several of them and am quite shocked.  Thoughtful questions, tastefully funny jokes, nothing creepy or weird – yet.  There’s always a yet in there because we all know I’m a gimp magnet.

Even last night Duckie was super sweet to me.  Maybe it’s a week for ex-husbands to be awesome?  We took the kids to open house and afterwards he texted me to tell me he’d broken up with his latest crazy girlfriend.  He said he was finally at a place where he was happy being on his own and that it felt pretty great.  I told him I was glad for him and that I was hoping to get back to that place soon myself.  And then Duckie sent me the nicest text saying how much I deserved to be happy and that he was always there to listen to me anytime I needed it.  Made tears well up in this cold dead heart of mine.

And after his distant behavior of the last few days, McKing popped up fast and furiously texting me and even calling twice today.  I can’t quite figure him out still.  I think I need to retreat to my mantra of letting things be and just letting them work themselves out on their own.  So buckle up ladies and gentleman.  Looks like ol’ Miranda’s getting back up on the dating horse for y’all. 


PS a random funny.  I had an email from my boss minimized on my screen and just looked down and it caused me to LOL.  I really needed that this afternoon!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Am I Turning Into a Head Case?

Yesterday after seeing like 50 billion ads for it, I checked out this other online site – Okcupid.com.  It’s far less used than Plenty of Fish, or Zoosk, or any of the other free ones but there do seem to be a different array of guys on there.  Guys who actually put some effort into filling out their profile.  I set up a quick profile just to see what happens because if I don’t, y’all are going to get bored of Miranda pretty quick. 

That being said, I feel like all this boy stuff is exhausting.  Just getting the email notifications that I have a new message or someone has “favorited” me is exhausting.  How did I do this for so long last summer?  Maybe my reserves are just depleted.

Even McKing is weirding me out now.  He has been cool but suddenly seems distant.  And I feel weird that both Gwyn and I remember him wearing a wedding ring last year when we first saw him even though he swears he was not.  If it had just been one of us remembering, then I wouldn’t think twice; but both of us do and we are smart girls! - Edited to add at lunch McKing texted me saying he was sorry he'd been out of touch but he was busy with his daughter and focuses on her when she's around. I get that, I really do. But can a sister get a break?  It doesn't take that long to send a text or make a quick call. I know guys aren't multi-taskers like us ladies but it's really not that hard to balance two things at one time. Whatever!

To top it all off, Coach was still in town yesterday and he brought me yet another gift.  An array of baked goods from his favorite bakery.  He actually came to my office in person to deliver it and then sent me a text afterwards telling me how beautiful I was.  I wish Saturday night had never happened. 

So I don’t know what to do.  Sabbatical?  Keep plowing into the online dating world?  Make more of an effort to get out and about and meet people in the real world?  Just shut the hell up and go ahead and become a psycho cat lady who travels to Hawaii twice a year?  Y’all tell me. 


PS – I’ve had two good interviews for jobs in the last week.  Keep your fingers crossed. A new job may be just what I need to get a little zing back in my steps.  Both are at hospitals too. Just think – I could end up dating a doctor!  HA!

Weird Positions

This about sums up my life. I am so happy that August is almost over, I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve had enough. So Friday’s van romp resulted in another sex injury. I’m 99% sure that the last sex injury was caused by the same position. We’re going to have to change that up a bit…seems Jules isn’t as flexible as she thought! It did score me some muscle relaxers though.
It was a fairly quiet weekend around here. Last night hopped up on some muscle relaxers and wine (because I share nicely), Russell revealed to me that he’s passed up 2 huge promotions in the past few months in order to stay here and do this thing with me until I finish college. I was speechless. We’ve had numerous conversations lately about his career and how much he hates being 40 and living pay check to pay check (the cost of living in paradise if you ask me) and such. I was literally floored. I told him that I thought we should have talked about it because I could have worked something out had I known and figured out my own situation. He said I have enough stress and that ultimately, he’s not really ready to leave Chloe yet and he promised me he’d do this. Although, we both know that if you keep passing up promotions, they eventually quit offering them to you.
In the midst of this discussion last night, Gavin pulls up. Could he have worse timing? I basically ignored him. He followed me inside when I went to pee and begged for sex, but I told him I was talking to Russell right now and it wasn’t the time. Besides, I was having trouble standing at that point…sex probably wouldn’t have gone well. He asked if he could just watch porn then and I told him no. He could sit and talk with us like a normal person or go home. He sat for a little while, rubbed icy hot on my shoulder, realized I really wasn’t fucking him, and then went home. He really should have called first. Oh wait, he can’t because his phone is still off. Actually, that morning he had called me from the gf’s phone to tell me how much he missed me and wanted to come hang out soon. Really? Calling me from her phone…OMG. I have to wonder why she hasn’t killed him by now. Honestly, sometimes I feel sorry for her. She obviously has very low self esteem or is just plain stupid to have put up with all his crap for the past 8 years.
If you've read this blog for a while, you've heard me say that my Daddy used to tell me that if you play hard to get long enough, people may play who the hell wants you. Gavin has pretty much done that to himself the past few weeks. His need for space and time has pushed me away a lot. Yes, I've needed time and space as well to figure out that I love him, but I'm not in love with him and that I really was just drunk and jealous when I said otherwise, but not this much time. I was questioning whether or not I was using that as an excuse for myself, but I don't think so. I think I have a firm grip on my feelings for him again and it's not in love.
My mom sent this to me in an email today (although she knows I’m in no hurry to get married again) and it hit home! Sadly, Gavin fits most of these!! I believe that was her point. LOL, enjoy! It also confirmed that I won't be going out with Daniel again. I mean really, who shows up for a first date drunk at noon??
For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to get married, here's a quick piece of Biblical advice:
Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz,don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz.
If you're wondering, Owen gets a free pass on Marriedaz.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Worst Decision Ever

I am so pissed at myself right now.  Last night was supposed to be my third date with McKing that would have hopefully been sealed with a kiss.  Unfortunately, his mom was supposed to babysit for him and she cancelled thus resulting in our date being cancelled.  I understand I do, but I also feel a little frustrated.  Didn’t I just tell Gwyn last week that I wasn’t sure I wanted to date a guy with kids again?

So anyways I had told my friend D that I’d go out with her before I’d ever scheduled the date with McKing. Naturally I’d already cancelled on her so I was content to stay home and have a Mad Men marathon. About 10:15 she texted me asking what I was doing. I told her my plans had been cancelled so I was just chilling at home.  She begged me to come out and by that point in the evening I was a little bored with my own company so I threw on some clothes and headed off. 

We immediately got on the dance floor and danced our butts off.  I feel like I’d forgotten how much I love to dance.  At one point this guy on the dance floor started pointing at my feet. I looked down at them and next thing I know he had bent down and was stroking my right foot.  D and I cracked up and then happily accepted the drinks he bought us. If you only knew how much weird stuff happens with my feet like that.

Anyways we danced till we were dripping sweat and then headed home.  I swear I didn’t drink that much but by the time I got home I felt positively drunk.  I was admittedly feeling a little randy so I texted College Crush thinking maybe we could have some phone sex.  I was lying on my bed waiting to hear back from him but when my phone chimed it was Coach. 

Earlier in the night Coach had texted me but please note I didn’t answer.  Unfortunately I didn’t do that this time. I made the mistake of answering him. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was drunk and wishing I could have sex.  He offered to come over. I told him if he did he was not allowed to spend the night and he had to leave immediately afterwards.  Coach seemed shocked but said he’d be right over.  As I lay there waiting I knew it was a horrible, horrible mistake. Less than five minutes later he was here.

I answered the door with all the lights off. I guess I was thinking that if I didn’t have to actually see him it’d be less horrible.  He came in and tried to start talking and I told him to hurry up and get inside me.  He kept trying to kiss me but I wouldn’t kiss him back.  We had sex and I swear the whole time I was thinking “WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING???”  Thankfully it didn’t last long and then he tried to lay there like we used to and I was just being unresponsive towards him. I was honestly really upset with myself and feeling like I was about to cry.  I got up and got dressed, he followed suit.  I walked him to the door and he wrapped his arms around me.

We stood there for a couple minutes like that and I let him hug me though I wouldn’t hug him back.  He kept kissing the top of my head and saying he understood and that he loved me. Coach left and I immediately made myself text Gwyn and Jules and fess up to what I’d done.  I also texted him an apology and told him that had not been a good decision and that it didn’t change things between us.  Then I deleted him out of my phone so I wouldn’t ever repeat this mistake again.

It wasn’t fair to him and lord knows it probably gave him some kind of weird validation to continue his pursuit of me – if you didn’t see the Facebook notice he sent me flowers at work on Friday.  The flowers threw me for a loop because when I got them I got excited and thought they were from McKing until I read the card.  I had to lay my head on my desk for a few minutes to get over the shock that they weren’t and then forced myself to write a list of all the reasons Coach wasn’t the right person for me. I read somewhere that after you divorce you should do that so if you ever question your decision you have black and white proof that it was the right thing.  I figured it’d work well in this instance too. FYI the list was two columns of a legal sheet notepad by the time I was done.

And it wasn’t fair to me.  I’m better than that. I deserve more.  I’m not going to tolerate this kind of behavior from myself. 


Saturday, August 20, 2011

Product Review - G-Spot Decadence

Thank you Eden Fantasy for the amazing new toy! I received my pretty pink Decadence G-spot vibe last week and ripped open the package immediately. I had to wait a few hours for some alone time, but I got right down to business as quickly as possible!! As soon as everyone was in their respective beds, I hopped onto mine and opened this up. It's so cute and small and comes with it's own little plastic case. This makes it perfect for carrying discreetly in your purse.

I was initially surprised by the small size. We all know Jules loves big things, but holy crap this thing is super powerful. I cannot for the life of me make myself squirt with a toy. I've decided it's physically impossible for me, but this toy did make me soak it in cum. I finished after 3 really strong orgasms and it was dripping. Thankfully one of it's amazing features is that it's waterproof!!

I met up with Owen today and told him I was bringing my new toy! He loves things that stimulate my g-spot and I knew he would love the powerful vibrations of this vibrator. I was right! We played with it in DP fashion and he loved, loved, loved the sensations pressing through me onto him. It was a huge turn on. He was shocked as well that such a small toy could provide us with such strong vibrations. He's told me to keep this one on the top of the toy box and noted that it fit perfectly. One of the problems with larger toys for DP play is that in certain positions, it can be awkward to play with it at the same time, not with this one.

Thank you Kayla and Eden Fantasy for my fabulous G-Spot vibrator. Also, we would like to thank Carolina for helping us get into this! Next time, I'm going to let Owen control it to see if he can make me squirt all over him. I'll report back. ;) I'd post pictures of it in use, but that might make Miranda and Gwyn die of embarrassment, so here is a G rated version of the G-spot vibe! - Jules

Sex with Owen and A Date with Daniel

Whoa, what a day! I woke up leisurely this morning because it's a state holiday here. Daniel and I have continued to text/talk like crazy and decided to go to the beach together today for a few hours. I knew it would be time limited because I had plans with a gf tonight, which is kind of how I like 1st dates to roll so that there's an out. He sent me a text first thing this morning confirming and then later I sent him one saying that I was running a little late and as it turns out he was too. My initial plan was to make us lunch, so I needed extra time to prep it. That plan was quickly aborted.

Owen sent me a text right after I sent Daniel one about being late and asked if I was free today at all. I  told him I could see him immediately or at like 2pm. He said immediately worked for him and we planned to meet 10 minutes later. He was working close to my house today, but since Russell was home we had to meet in his van. Van sex always makes me feel young and vibrant, like a teenager again. I'm entirely too old to be fucking in an automobile, but there is something about it that turns me on immensely. It's naughty. I also thought this was good insurance that I wouldn't wind up having sex with Daniel on our 1st date!

I told him I was bringing my new toy and when I climbed into his van he immediately asked to see it, but placed it on the seat and pulled me onto his lap. I managed to pull off my skirt on the way over and he was already naked. I don't know how he got naked so fast, maybe he drove that way! Anyway, he pulled me over to him and kissed me on his lap forever. Then he moved down to sucking my tits...watching him do that was making me soooo wet (well, doubled with the sensation!) He entered me and I rode him hard through 3 super intense orgasms where he pulled my ponytail, kissed my neck, and held me on the last one. OMG it felt great and we were just getting started!!

He told me to get on my knees and lick all of that cum off his cock. I quickly complied and then he got up and got behind me and started doing me doggie style while I was bent over his seat. I was able to look back over my shoulder and watch him hold onto my ass and pound away. I've spent a lot of years closing my eyes during sex. Part of it is not wanting to connect and part of it is that sex is just such an amazing experience, I tend to naturally close my eyes and just go with all of the physical sensations. I've decided watching is much hotter. Life lesson #5623 learned at the age of 35.

Then he brought up my toy and asked if I wanted to play with it in my kitty while he fucked my ass. I said I absolutely did and he took his cock out of me and lubed it up. Then he teased the hell out of me for what felt like an eternity. He rubbed his cock in between my ass cheeks and we both were watching him slide up and down. Well, I could only catch the up seeing as how I was still in doggie position. It was HOT. Then he would go down and put just the tip inside of my kitty, pull out, press the tip against my ass...I mean he had me all kinds of worked up. Finally, he told me to flip over. I did and laid spread eagle on his seat with him on his knees in front of me. His favorite position for fucking me and for watching! He gave me my toy and I started playing with myself and he started pushing himself slowly into my ass. I pulled my legs together and put them over his shoulder and started rocking against him. He was making the best faces while he was fucking me. I love it. You can see how hard he's trying not to cum, but how amazing it feels!

I was going at it hard, as was he and finally he pulled my legs back apart and continued pounding me. I came a lot more during all of this fabulous, hard core sex and then he pulled out and shot a gigantic load all over my kitty. I quickly massaged it all over us. He loves that. He likes for me to take his cum and rub it all over us, use it as lube, play with his cock as he cums, etc. He wants me touching him the entire time it's shooting out and I have to admit I love doing it. I love seeing how hard and how much he cums for me. We cleaned up, he kissed me some more, and I managed to get to my date fairly on time.

Well, as it turns out Daniel had actually not been running late as he had said and had arrived at a local bar we were meeting in on time. By the time I got there, he was on beer #3. I met him outside and he was very cute and I found myself oddly nervous and a little shaky. It could have been from the awesome fuck I'd just had, but I think it was nerves and anxiety too. He looked just like his pictures and I was charmed. We went inside and had a beer and he told me that he had a few before I got there and admitted to really being on time. I felt a little badly, but he had told me he was running behind too.

We left the bar and went to grab lunch and hit the beach. We had a great time talking and laying in the sand.  He shared that it's actually been 2 years since he's been with a girl (sexually and on a date) because the ex wife just hurt him so badly. (yay, baggage!) He seems ready now though to start dating, but he 's not rushing it and he's definitely taking things very slowly and such. It is kind of refreshing. I'm so used to men just wanting to fuck me and trying so hard to find a way into my pants (not that it's a huge challenge or anything, but you know what I mean). He hugged me when we parted and I kissed him on the cheek out of Hawaiian habit. As I was walking off, he yelled "text me later". Um, ok. I did and told him I'd had a fun time meeting him and he said the same, so I'm guessing there will be a date #2 at some point next week.

I texted Miranda after the date and processed some. She's challenged me to not sleep with him for several more dates! I said since he's waited 2 years, he can probably wait 2 more dates. I really like him. He's cute, funny, and a really interesting guy. He's got a bad boy aspect, but is mostly a good guy. I am really attracted to him, but not in the way I was when I first met Gavin and Owen. Miranda says it will come, so I'm giving it those 2 more dates to see. I can sense that chemistry is there, but it wasn't that immediate need to rip his clothes off kind, which could be a good thing.

Friday, August 19, 2011


From Coach on Monday…
I wanted to try and explain how I started getting so distant before we broke up.  You said you didn't doubt that I loved you, well you are wrong I am still in love with you.  I know that for a fact now.  Anyway I started getting distant a couple of months ago because I wanted to move our relationship to the next level but when I thought about it I kept thinking that how could we get engaged or plan a future when I didn't know how long I would be up here.  I also felt like I almost duped you in the beginning of our relationship and I knew you kind of felt that way too.  One of the reasons I came up here is because of my DUI and assault convictions a couple years ago.  All the work that I was getting in NC was contract work because of that misdemeanor assault charge, even though I never threw a punch that night.  Anyway, I came up here to up my experience in my field and become such an expert that some company in that area would overlook that charge.  To this day, I have not seen anything yet.  I have heard that I can have a misdemeanor expunged but I have not looked into that yet.

I felt like you deserved better than having to wait on your boyfriend, I wanted to give you so much and this one messed up night has me handcuffed.  So I had so much riding on this relocation project then we hit this budget crunch and all my hope just left me.  I had so many dreams for us 3 months ago.  I don't want you to think that I am some douche because I'm not, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you.  I just wanted to get a few things off my chest and let you know some of my thought process lately.  I really and truly am still in love with you!

My reply…
Look there's not been a lot of honesty in our relationship.  And you did "dupe" me as you say by not being honest about DC and then when I totally invaded your privacy I found out a lot of stuff that you had not been honest about.  There's no doubt about that.  I wish we could go back in time and that you would trust me enough to have been honest from day one.

But honestly, the fact that you took a job in DC was the least of our issues.  That part of our relationship we were managing, it's everything else that drug us down.  Maybe subconsciously you took that job to escape your troubles here.

You need to learn to be open and honest.  You need to get your life straightened out and feel like you're setting a good example for your boys.  They should be your focus right now.  I think you need to focusing on where do you go from here and stop trying to "fix" things from the past.  And if you want to reflect on the past or think about how things could have been done differently, honestly look back at the fights we had, the issues, the "bad nights."  Look at them from my point of view.  Being brutally honest with yourself about your actions and why you chose the make the decisions you made.  That's the only way you can learn from it.

From Coach on Tuesday…
Laying here vibrating under a heating pad...Miranda, if you are or start going out with somebody please let me know ok?  I just have this feeling like it may already be happening.  And I can tell you for a fact if you are dating other people then I can't be friends.  There is no way I could do that.

My reply…
Well my personal life is my business.  You lost your opportunity to know what goes on in it or dictate what I do when you choose to pack up and leave the day we broke up.

Though his attempts to communicate me have tapered down quite a bit he still randomly texts or im’s me. At least he has learned not to call me anymore. Isn't the definition of insanity attempting to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results?


PS - Last night McKing was working late doing a search warrant on a crack dealers house (I'm sorry all the police talk makes me hot!) and he was passing by my exit on his way home and called to ask if he could stop by for a minute.  I acquiesced because I'm trying to be all open and stuff but told him he could only stay for a few minutes.  He just dropped by for about 15 minutes and we talked and joked around.  He hugged me both when he got there and when he left.  Still no kiss yet.  Am I experiencing a real old fashioned courtship?  I don't know that I've ever been "courted" like this before.  My next date with McKing is Saturday. Stay tuned for details!

Thursday, August 18, 2011


I swear to God I had no sooner hit send, then Gavin came over. He came up on his bike and knocked on my wall, which of course brought Chloe out of her room. I didn't get up to let him in. I don't know if she did or if he used his key. It's hotter than hell here right now, so I was laid out naked on my bed. It wasn't sexual, it was necessity.

He comes over to me all smiling. He was high and I was annoyed. It's PMS week and when it's this week I am an irritable bitch. I said something like "Hmmm, another country heard from". He was all like "What?" b/c naturally it went over his head. I asked what was up and he said he's been really busy and that he hasn't called because his phone is cut off. I told him I didn't like the way things are right now. He said they are fine, we're fine. I don't know that I want "fine". I just laid here watching a show and he laid beside me and starting sucking my tits. I told him to quit it, but I didn't really mean it. He knew that and didn't. Then he started fingering me and licking me and well the next thing I knew I was cumming repeatedly.

Because he was high, I didn't bother doing anything in return. He made some comment about wanting me, but I told him that if he did then he would have come over with a hard dick. (Told ya I'm a bitch this week...) Finally, I started pushing for him to leave. I told him it requires too much energy to be around other people when I feel like this. He said he wanted to stay and hang out and watch porn with me. I told him I didn't. We went around like this for about an hour and then he left.

So remember my post on accepting 100% responsibility? I'm a firm believer that this is my own creation. I've allowed him to repeatedly come over like this and hang out and fuck around. I've allowed this world to be created and now I have to allow it to change into what I want to create. This might be a little easier if I knew what in the hell I wanted to create. It's been easy with him before this month and it could go back to being easy with him while I'm in school, but like I just wrote I know there is no long term potential, so is this enough for now? After acknowledging that I do have some feelings for him, even if it came out of jealousy, can we go back? Aside from his addict behaviors, I really was happy with the Owen-Gavin combo before I opened my big mouth. The status quo was working. I'm taking back my responsibility. It's not me, it's August. ;)

Soul Searching

I really try to avoid this activity immensely, but in light of the Gavin situation I’ve needed to do some.  There is no news on that front. We have talked once briefly on the phone since I saw him Saturday night. In a way, I almost feel like that was a goodbye fuck. I mean it’s not goodbye. He still has all of his shit in my house and I think we have this connection that will probably go on as long as I/we allow it, but things have changed. I said something that I don’t think I truly meant out of jealousy and I think it’s totally freaked him out. He clearly has feelings for me, but he’s obviously still in love with the gf too and so he’s backed off of his daily contact and I’ve let him. I need space, as it seems he does as well. I know he’s unhealthy for me. He’s an addict. My dad is an addict. I am a social worker working on my CSAC, so I know deep down that I could never, ever expose Chloe to this and be in a normal relationship with him. It’s time to move forward, but it’s hard to because I do like him and he is so much fun. I wish things were different, but I can’t change him.

Now on to fun news! First the hot sex…
I met Owen today. He’s been texting me a lot lately. Things are “more civil” at home and he’s resigned to they are what they are. He’s staying as long as possible for his kids and I can’t say that I blame him. I’m leaving Russell b/c I know I get Chloe. We’ll have joint custody, but as long as he lives in another state (which is highly likely in the next year or so), she’ll be with me almost 80% of the time.  If my option in life would have been to leave her, I couldn’t have done it. I would have stayed even knowing what I know about how all around unhealthy that is for all parties involved. The thought of not having her every day (or there about) makes me so uneasy I can hardly type this. So, he’s home and miserable and apparently feeling very thankful to have such a sexy mistress.
He texted me Monday to tell me that he was on school run today. Then he texted me Tuesday morning to say that on the spur of the moment, he was also on school run but I had to be somewhere and could only do this morning. We were sexting last night about today and I was dying to see him! This morning he told me that he was on his way and wanted me to be playing with my ass in this chair In my bedroom. It’s one of those papasan chairs and is a bit unsteady for sex, but we managed for a long while. He came in and I was spread eagle on it with my glass toy in my ass and rubbing my kitty for him. I love how he looks at me when I’m with him. He came over to me and put his cock in my mouth and I got him hard while playing with me. I asked how he planned to fuck me there and he said we would manage, but the chair might be sacrificed in the process.
He did manage and I got on all fours in it and he got behind me and we rocked that thing all over my room. OMG, it was fabulous. He was in my kitty and then stopped, stood there, and told me to back my ass onto his cock. He loves when I’m in control of that b/c he says it shows him how much I actually love it. I truly do! I was screaming and the chair was moving like crazy. I was braced against the wall and it was HOT. Finally, we moved over to the bed and fucked my tits and then rolled me over on my stomach. He played with my kitty forever…in and out with his monster cock. I thought I was going to pass out from cumming so much. We were on a serious time limit b/c of my needing to be at work and him needing to meet his wife, but neither of us seemed overly concerned. He was taking eons to cum, which was quite ok with me because it just meant more time for me to enjoy every single second of him being inside me. When he was finally ready, after almost 45 minutes, he entered my ass and filled it. Only then did he look at the clock and ask how fast it was!! We were totally late and I was so drenched that a shower was in immediate order. I cannot have sex with him and not shower and wash my sheets after. It’s always that kind of sex.
So, there is a new guy in the wings. I’ve decided that the only way for me to move successfully past this Gavin situation is to find new.  I met him on PoF Sunday and we’ve talked every night for hours. We’ve IMed, texted, actually talked on the phone (I love his voice!), and yet he’s not hinted at all about asking me out. Well, not totally true…he’s said things about how I would see X when we met, but never any mention of when that might be. Today I finally asked why not and he said it’s because he’s broke until next Wednesday and doesn’t want to ask me out until he can afford it.  Why does Jules love poor men??
Here’s a little about him. We’ll call him Daniel. Daniel is from Indiana and moved here on a whim 5 months ago after divorcing his ex-wife and finding his childhood bff dead in his house from a suicide. He’s a traveler by nature and has been all over the US and in several different countries. He’s 32, had a great career on the mainland, but is working as a concierge here for now and that seemingly isn’t cutting it financially. He has a 2 ½ year old daughter (who is just freaking adorable) and she’s going to be here for 4 months with him in January. They have some weird custody arrangement where she’s here part of the time. He looks a little like Owen (only remotely though). He’s funny, charming, and very engaging. I can actually talk to him and he can carry on a conversation. His downsides are he’s a Capricorn (not a match for Aries…see Gavin), he’s only 5’7” (I like tall, but ok whatever), and he’s currently broke.  I think the pros outweigh the cons though and I’m excited to meet him, hopefully next week.  He’s very chatty and attentive, but not in a smothering way (yet anyway). He’s also made absolutely no reference to sex, which is a bit refreshing. Odd for Jules to say I know, but I kind of want to just keep fucking Owen right now and let this evolve on a different level without rushing into that.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

That Special Feeling

I've always wondered what people mean when they say "when I met him/her I just knew". I, for one, have never had that experience before. I've met guys I'm instantly attracted to and have strong chemistry with but I've never had that "this could be the one" feeling. "This could be the one I have sex with tonight", sure I've had that feeling - or even, "This could be the one to get me over the last one." But "this could be the one I spend my life with", nope. That has all changed after 'meeting' McDreamy. And yes Jules and Miranda I realize I haven't actually 'met' him yet - luckily for the blog you two will get to witness that first meeting in exactly 3 weeks!

As you all know, Gwyn isn't exactly the lovey dovey mushy type. Who am I kidding - I'm not even anywhere close to that type. When it comes to love I'm a glass is half empty type of gal. I like to call it realistic. Miranda likes to call it being an ice queen.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and analyzing (shocker) about what is so different about McDreamy and why I feel so differently about him than I have towards other guys I've had relationships with (and do I actually feel different or am I caught up in some sort of Hawaii fantasy). How did he melt the ice queen in a matter of days? How did I go from wanting to stay single as long as possible to dreaming about a beach wedding in Hawaii?

After examining all the evidence, I've determined that I do in fact feel differently towards him - it's not just me wearing a pair of rose colored glasses. I'm not just caught up in a Hawaiian housewife fantasy. Here's a quick glimpse inside my head:

  • McDreamy is different because he truly cares about how I feel. He wants to know how I'm feeling and asks me all the time. When I'm upset he wants to fix it, and not just by buttering me up but by changing anything he may have done to contribute to my unhappiness or frustration (e.g. being short with me on the phone because he's playing Call of Duty like it's his job).  If I'm upset about a situation at home he listens to me and tries to calm me down by either offering advice or just being supportive. If I play the "nothing is wrong I'm just giving you the silent treatment because I'm in a happy mood" card he won't let me. He insists that I share with him how I'm feeling so that I don't build up resentment towards him and so that he can be there for me if he can. 
  • McDreamy makes me feel 100% secure with myself and with our relationship 100% of the time. This is no small feat considering we are separated by 5,000 miles. Not once during our relationship (going on 3 months now) have I ever felt doubtful about his feelings towards me. I don't find myself thinking "he's probably with another girl" or "he's just saying he likes me because he wants something from me". Part of this is because our relationship isn't based on sex, it's based on an emotional and intellectual connection. We have become best friends. I know he doesn't just like me for physical reasons - which he tells me all the time. I did have one night of slight jealousy when he was out clubbing with a friend visiting from the mainland, but that was during my pms week and it was towards the end of his friend's visit (which lasted 10 days) and I was really missing getting 100% of his attention. McDreamy is consistent with his communication and always does what he says he is going to do. I don't ever find myself wondering if he's actually going to call - I know with certainty that he will, and he always does.
  • McDreamy talks about a future with me and it doesn't freak me out. In fact, I find myself thinking about a future with him often. This is something I've not really done before. I did think about marriage with The Ex but it wasn't the same. It was more of a "I like him more than I've liked anyone else so it's probably best to just go ahead and start a family with him since I won't meet anyone better." With McDreamy it's a "I like you so much that I can't imagine not being with you in 20 years."
  • McDreamy satisfies me to the point that I have absolutely no desire to contact any of my exes or any of the guys I was talking to up to the time that I met him. I mean no desire whatsoever. Romeo has texted me a few times and I don't respond - I just don't care. I have had no contact with The Ex since McDreamy and I started talking - that's very significant because in all my other relationships I still talked to The Ex (or saw him) even if it wasn't often. I feel like I've finally gotten over him for good. I used to have a nagging yearning to talk to The Barber one last time - not any more. When I go out I'm not even looking at guys, all I'm thinking about is how I can't wait to be with McDreamy.
  • I already feel the overwhelming urge to say I love you (and he does too). He's said just about everything he can say without directly saying those three words - including, "I like you more than like" "I'm in love with you" "I think I'm in love with you" "I like you so so much"...he has called me his "future wife" "favorite girl" and "love of his life". Yes, I know it's cheesy and I can't believe how much I like it. Before McDreamy, any of this behavior would have had me running for the hills.
If this isn't the "he may be the one" feeling then I'm not sure what is. If it can feel better than this then I have a lot to look forward to. I can't put my finger on it but all I know is that this one is different. If you look back through my old posts you'll notice that Gwyn isn't one of those girls who says that about every guy I meet (I have friends who are in love with every new guy so I never know if they actually are). Just the fact that I'm thinking that says a lot to me, it's not my nature. This boy has me all thrown off but I like it. Keep your fingers crossed for me - in 21 days I may be meeting my future husband for the first time. Who wants to come to a beach wedding in Hawaii?!?!?


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

An Endangered Species?

Well I certainly didn’t expect it to happen so soon but Miranda’s smitten yall.  The date I mentioned in my last post, well it turned into two dates in one day and a third is being planned as I type this.

Here’s the good stuff. He’s 38, divorced, 1 kid (a 6 year old daughter),  6’2, brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin lol, he’s in law enforcement, he grew up in the mountains here, he was in the military for a few years, he’s got awesome manners and seems to be very much a gentleman, and he seems to kind of all around be an awesome guy. Oh and his name is so amazing. It’s killing me to not be able to tell yall. I have thus named him….McKing in honor of Gwyn’s funny likeness of his name as Checkers McKing.

So McKing  messaged me on Plenty of Fish several days ago and I was impressed by his ability to spell correctly and actually have something of substance to say rather than, “Hey you’re cute,” or “Hey message me if you want to talk,” so I responded.  That led to a few intelligent and interesting emails, a brief online chat, and then him asking for and receiving my phone number.

He texted me some on Sunday and called me that evening.  McKing was funny and shocker, smart. He’s got an interesting job and is clearly comfortable carrying a conversation. What a refreshing twist from most guys on Plenty of Fish, hell from most guys period.  We talked a couple times on Monday and he asked me to lunch for today.  During one of those conversations we made the astounding and funny aforementioned discovery that he came and spoke to my work before one of those concerts I bartend at. What a small world!

So today arrives and I was more than a little nervous for my first “first date” in quite a while.  Plus he’s pretty much the entire opposites of Coach so that amped me up a little more.  I got to the restaurant before McKing and was very relieved to see him walk in and be just as cute as I remember from last year.  We sat down, ordered, and started talking and didn’t stop for two hours.  It was one of those fun first dates that starts out with you both a little nervous and then everything clicks and you’re exhausted afterwards and you face hurts from smiling.

As we left, he walked me to my car, thanked me for the date, and said he’d love to see me again.  I concurred.  A couple hours later I got a text from him again saying how much he enjoyed spending time with me and that he’d love to see me again soon.  Just as I left work, he called and asked what I was doing later tonight.  I was just going to the gym and home and he asked if it wasn’t too forward would I like to meet up later for drinks and dinner.  LOL I know he said soon but I wasn’t expecting a second date in the same day.

Nevertheless, I decided that I would be hard pressed not to spend a couple more hours in McKing’s company and agreed to meet him about 7:30 for drinks and a late dinner at my very favorite (and expensive) place in a nearby city.  I really didn’t want to go out in my town because of all the drama with Coach lately and the last thing I want is someone getting things stirred up because I’m on a date with someone else.

So I rushed through my gym time, raced home, totally showered/redid my hair and make up and rushed off to meet him. Three hours later my face hurts from smiling and I’m still shaking my head over the fact that I may have found one of the last of a dying breed – a real gentleman.

We again had GREAT conversation, laughed a ton, and everything felt really natural and good.  At the end of the date McKing again walked me to my car and said he hoped I’d want to see him again soon. I of course said I did and he hugged me and watched me drive away.  Yep, two dates and no kiss. But it’s coming. And I’m going to be ready!  Let’s just hope the kiss is as good as the rest of the chemistry!


TMI Tuesday - Flashback Then Flash Forward

1. What ’80s or ’90s fashion did you love but would be embarrassed to wear today, even if it came back in style? 
Well apparently I had a big thing for sunflowers in the 90s. This past weekend I was showing Chloe a bunch of old pictures in which I had on multiple sunflower items to include short shorts and a halter. I was informed by my 8 year old that I should never, ever in life wear those things out in public ever again. - Jules
I remember your sunflowers Jules!  I had a horrible year where I was into wearing mens' button down shirts and vests. Bad bad Blossom induced affliction.  That and I was all about beating my stick straight hair into curls via many, many perms.   - Miranda
Peace Frogs. Jams. Duckheads. Braided belts. The list could go on forever....-Gwyn 
2. What current fashion do you wear and love? Or What current fashion do you wear but probably shouldn’t? 
I live in tank tops and shorts when I'm not working. Russell works for a clothing store that I really like, so 99% of my professional clothes come from there. I tend to go for a simple style. I do live on an island, so bikinis are big. I have to admit I had a brief love affair with Crocs, but it's over now. They are hideous but oh so comfy. - Jules
Jules in Crocs???? OMG!  HA!  I've said it before, I love dresses. I wear one almost every day of my life.  I don't know that it's a "current fashion" technically or not but more than half my closet is devoted to dresses.  I have noticed a discerning eye though lately when I'm shopping for dresses and I put on anything that is shorter than my fingertips. I have a couple of "going out" dresses that are and I think I'm approaching the upper age limit on those being socially acceptable no matter how young I look in real life. - Miranda
Jules - if I see you in a pair of Crocs I'm burning them. They are only for nurses, toddlers, and gardeners!! I like a good cardigan and apparently that's a grandma-ish style but they are one of my favorite items of clothing regardless. Embrace your inner grandma, that's my motto. -Gwyn  
3. What was your favorite toy as a kid? 
Hmmm, depended on my age. I loved my Atari (yep, I dated myself...ok, whatever). I loved my Pound Puppy too and my Chubble. Chloe has my Chubble now. - Jules
I was a big Barbie fan. I had loads of them and OMG the amount of Barbie clothes I owned was ridiculous. I used to act out these massive dramas where the evil blond Ken/Barbie would kidnap the good brunette/red head Barbies.  Then  my Derek (with real life like hair - from the Barbie and the Rockers collection) would swoop in and save the day ending the story with a passionate kiss.  And I'm not ashamed to say I played with them long past the point of it being cool. I just didn't let my friends know. - Miranda
I had so many this is hard. I loved all the boy toys lol Transformers, He-Man, Thundercats. I also loved playing with Matchbox cars. I owned 1 doll and I named it "Jimmy Alice" so that sometimes he could be a boy and sometimes she could be a girl. I loved Nintendo and I remember playing that Mousetrap board game a lot too. -Gwyn 
4. What is your favorite “toy” today? 
It depends on my mood, but I really love my blue vibrator. It's my go to item, but I also love, love, love my glass curved dildo...omg. - Jules
Well I would say my paintbrush whip I got a while back but that doesn't really work for solo play. My good old reliable pink no frills vibrator does the job every time. - Miranda
N/A lol. -Gwyn 
5. Did you ever own a Sony Walkman? A boombox? 
Of course, both. - Jules
I had a yellow Sony Walkman. I don't think I ever had a boombox though. - Miranda
I had them both. -Gwyn 
6. What’s the most played song on your mp3 player? 
American Boy by Estelle - Jules
IDK about my Ipod but in my Itunes here at work it's Adele's Rolling in the Deep. - Miranda
I'd have to look - I went through a big Ellie Goulding phase recently, so maybe that whole CD? I have a wide variety of music on my iPhone and usually I just set it to shuffle and listen to a little of everything. -Gwyn  
7. Who was your best friend in elementary/primary school? 
Well, I can't say her full name but I call her "Crazy Jill" now. I was also bffs with Josie and Miranda. - Jules
HA Jules!  Crazy Jill is definitely crazy yall.  I saw her breastfeed while she was literally smoking and chugging liquor.  It was all I could do not to call social services and run screaming from her house. IDK that I had one best friend because there was a group of us that was always together including Jules and Josie.  I think it varied from time to time who each of us were closest to. Outside of that circle my BFF in elementary school was a totally awesome girl who lived on my street named Carla who has turned out to be one of the smartest and most beautiful women.  She's one of those people who makes you look at your life and think damn I haven't accomplished shit! - Miranda
My childhood bff lived a few houses up and then we played rec and traveling soccer together until we were 17. I'm not going to say her name that would just be stupid. -Gwyn 
8. Who is your best friend now?
Oddly, Russell still probably takes that cake, along with Miranda and Josie. - Jules
Gwyn (who I'm suffering without at work now that she quit), Jules, and Josie.  I'm overwhelmed with blessings of amazing women in my life these days. - Miranda
I have a few bffs, including Miranda, along with a few of my high school bffs and my crazy Brazilian bff. I also have a boy bff who I've mentioned in a few posts. -Gwyn 
9. Who was your favorite musical group in your early teens (age 13/14)? 
NKOTB - I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm not going to go hunting for a pic though. You all know them and if not, google it. I also loved bands like Motley Crue and Poison, Hendrix, Zepplin, etc. - Jules
Poison all the way. My room was literally wall papered with photos of them from magazines. - Miranda
I loved Pearl Jam and Nirvana, I think that was when I was around 13 or so. -Gwyn 
10. Who is your favorite musical group now? 
I"m currently loving One Republic's Good Life. It is awesome and inspires me to appreciate what I've got going on in life. Really, what is there to complain about? Love it. - Jules
I have too many!  Corey Smith, Zac Brown, Adele, Amy Winehouse, Gaga.... - Miranda
You know I don't do favorites! -Gwyn  
Bonus: What do you think is the secret to a good life? 
Funny, I read this after my favorite song answer. I think it's being happy with yourself. Once you achieve that, the rest will fall into place. - Jules
I think doing "the right thing" ultimately makes you happiest.  We all know how we want to be treated and when we treat others well I believe it comes back to you tenfold.  - Miranda  
Less working and more living. -Gwyn