Thursday, April 26, 2012

Feel Like Making Love???

I saw Owen today for some morning sex before work. It was our normal, heated, passionate fun. I met him out b/c Gwyn's mom is visiting and Russell was home as well. We've been trying to hook up all week, but this was our first chance. Anyway, I brought a new toy with me and it was amazing!

I hopped into his van in one of our spots and he was already taking off his clothes. I paused to take off my shoes and he pulled me over to him and started undressing me and kissing me. We fooled around for a little bit, kissing, touching, etc. and then he asked me for the new toy I had told him about. It's a new glass anal toy...omg. I just got it last week and had not had an opportunity to use it until today.

He bent me over and knelt beside me playing with me and working it into me. Then he got behind me and starting fucking me...it was amazing and intense. He came within a few minutes, which is super unusual for him! Of course, he kept going...I really love that trait in him. I find it one of his most impressive. I came a few more times, dressed, and left for work.

We texted some throughout the day and I mentioned that I knew his birthday was this weekend and asked what his birthday sex wish is, telling him that his wish is my command. He texted me back a smile. I cracked myself up and replied "A smile is all you want?? Well, I can do that for sure but idk if it will make you cum...lol". His reply " Every time we make love is like a present". What??? When did we move from fucking to making love??? Did I miss something? Maybe he's drunk...


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

TMI Tuesday - S-E-X

Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…”

S-E-X again

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions are on a subject near and dear to our hearts (and some other body parts, too). It’s all about SEX!…Yes, again.
1. What is your sexual personality?
a. The Controller – initiating sex, twisting your lover into positions you want, and driving scene play by play
b. Sex Slave – You love to be used and at the mercy of your lover. You don’t initiate but follow and do as you are told. You love to be used.
c. Daredevil – Sexual adventure and sexual thrills are what you are all about. You get off on the risk factor.
d. Subdued – Sex is a necessary part of the relationship so you are available when needed.

Wow, I'm actually A-C rolled into one. I like being in control at times, but mostly I'm very submissive in bed and do as I'm told. I do like to have sex in all kinds of crazy places and ways though and the thrill factor totally plays into it. You can't label Jules...it's impossible. - Jules
I'm probably more B though there is an bit of A and C in me.  Really just depends on my mood. Right now I'm more of a "nil" as in I'm  not getting any.  And it's starting to make me crazy. I need a boyfriend stat! - Miranda
I guess I am subdued, none of the others seem like a good fit. -Gwyn
2. How many times have you sneaked away from party guests to have sex in another part of the party venue. Where did you sneak to? Were you ever caught? For example, at a wedding reception you sneaked to have sex in the coat room. At a party, you sneaked to have sex in a bathroom or closet.
I've definitely done it...how many times, I haven't a clue. Of course I've also been to parties where sex was the total game plan. - Jules
A few times in high school.  In college if I left the party it was to go have sex at the person's house.  A couple times Coach and I got a little down and dirty but never went the full distance at a party. - Miranda
In high school I would sneak off to make out, but I was still innocent and pure so there was no sex.  I remember sneaking into laundry rooms, bathrooms and bedrooms. One time I was really drunk (and apparently determined) and broke the lock on a bedroom door sneaking in to make out with some random guy (who used the line "I make beautiful babies" hahaha). When some guy at the party tried to blame me for it I completely denied it and he proceeded to try and start a fist fight with me. Yes, a fist fight. I had to get a couple of my guy friends to back me up and eventually he let it go. Zima is a hell of a drug. -Gwyn
3. Your sex partner that you are mad crazy for has requested you do one of the following, which one would you grant consent to do:
a. Bondage/light restraint with your hands, legs tied while having sex
b. A sexual spanking that leaves light marks
c. Record the two of you having sex
d. Have sex in a mirrored room where you can see yourselves having sex from every angle

All of the above, although I wish he would have picked "D" before I started grad school and gained back 15lbs...but whatever, he clearly thinks I'm super hot so I'm down for any of it. - Jules
I'd go for any but c. I really don't think I'd enjoy watching myself have sex.  I think I'd be way too self conscious and I'm even starting to be more reluctant about sending sexy pictures not to mention video.  Must be old age haha - Miranda
A and B. Maybe C if I was drunk enough. No thank you to the mirrors. -Gwyn
4. Do you act out your sexual fantasies (select one)? Why?
a. I act out all of my fantasies.
b. I act out many of my fantasies.
c. I act out some of my fantasies.
d. I act out very few of my fantasies.
e. I don’t act out any of my fantasies.
f. I don’t have any fantasies.

Honestly, I don't have a lot of fantasies but yes, I've acted out a few so "C". ;) - Jules
Since I'm not having sex all the time I have lots of fantasies. I've acted out a good many of them in the past but there are always new ones to act out in the future! I guess like Jules I'm a "c" - Miranda
Sadly, I don't really have any fantasies. -Gwyn
5. How important is sex in your life (select one)?
a. I could hardly survive without it.
b. It is very important.
c. It is somewhat important.
d. I could live without it.
e. If it were up to me, sex wouldn’t even exist!

Do you read this blog?? "A"...duh. - Jules
Definitely B.  When I was married I'd have said e haha.  - Miranda
B. I may not be kinky or really wild but even I think sex is key to a good relationship. -Gwyn
Bonus: Finish the following phrase.
Sex is ______________ .
Fucking awesome! - Jules
In short supply these days.  After my two months of confinement I'm ready to find a good guy, date the hell outta him, and then fuck the hell out of him once we're exclusive- HA! - Miranda. 
Better in Hawaii. -Gwyn
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, April 23, 2012

I Don't Make This Sh*T Up People

So a serious case of strep throat laid me low most of last week and into the weekend. In my boredom, and in light of the upcoming cease to my grounding, I reopened my account on Ok Cupid. I find it to be a much less skanky version of PoF.  The goal was to entertain myself during my confinement and boy did it turn entertaining.

Emails start arriving.  In my languishing state I look through them laughing and passing on funny tidbits to my boss.  An interesting prospect arrives. Cute, mid 40s, lawyer, foodie/wine guy, smart, knows how to spell (or use spell check), only apparent negative is he lives about an hour away from me.  I opted to exchange a few messages.  All very interesting and promising.

Then I actually read his profile and not only does he own a law firm, he's a magician on the side.  Yes I said magician.  But he only does it for fun and mostly it's big shows, like he's seriously a semi-famous illusionist.  Today at work after chortling over that with my boss we Googled him wondering if he was telling the truth. It's true. And want to hear one better, after reading his magician website, turns out he suffered a serious injury a few years ago and he's in a wheelchair now. 

Yes indeed. Miranda found a lawyer/magician/paraplegic.  Only me folks, only me.


Friday, April 20, 2012

Dirty Thoughts With Miranda

So during my daily peruse of TheFrisky.com, one of my favorite websites, I stumbled upon a photo collection of the 8 Most Amazing Tongues. Of course I had to take a look and I'm not ashamed to say when this picture popped up it made my mind immediately go dirty.  Just imagine what these people could do with these tongues.

From left to right.
Nick Afansiev: 3.5 inches, second longest tongue in the United States

Stephen Taylor: 3.86 inches, currently the Guinness World Records holder for longest tongue, longest tongue in the UK

Chanel Tapper: 3.8 inches, second longest tongue in the UK

Nick Stoeberl: Allegedly 3.988 inches, challenging Stephen Taylor for the Guinness World Record

Well, my horoscope did say I was entering a very horny period...


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Sexy School Girl and Toy Review!

It's time to talk about the awesome Eden Fantasys again because they brought some epic fun into the bedroom a few days ago! A while back, I went on a wild and crazy shopping spree and bought some fun new items. Owen and I had not had an opportunity to use all of them yet, but I decided to start introducing them b/c he loves sex toys almost as much as I do! He walked in yesterday morning to me dressed in this outfit. (No, this is not me...haha)

I put this on and did smoky, sexy eye makeup and pulled my hair into a side ponytail. When he walked in, I was on my bed on my knees waiting for him. The look on his face was priceless! He loved this and has talked about it repeatedly since. I'm adding the link here, but it's currently out of stock. When it comes back in, order it! Men go crazy for this!! Owen typically isn't a fan of lingerie b/c he says it just gets in the way and he wants to touch me, but he went crazy over this. 

One of the other toys that I ordered from Eden Fantasys, is this gem! 
Here's the link to the G-Spot glass dildo, sadly it is also out of stock right now! You can set alerts though to be notified when these items come in b/c Eden Fantasys is just cool like that. This toy is Owen's absolute favorite in my collection right now. He loves to DP me with it and says that he can feel all the ribs on his big, hard cock when they are both inside me. He also reports that the base of it feels really good too when he's inside me. It is the most reached for, most requested toy in the toy box right now! I love glass toys. They feel soooo cool and smooth going in, it's such an amazing feeling having both him and this toy inside me. Buy your own as soon as possible!!! Short of buying this one, they do have some similar ones in stock that are on sale right now! 

Eden Fantasys is currently running a 25% off sale on their dildos and vibrators through April 20th! While you can't get the exact glass one I love right now, you can get this! I've blogged about this toy before. It is MY fave! I love it alone and I love it with Owen too. It has so many speeds!!! The silcone texture is to die for. It's kind of expensive, but it is worth every freaking penny and right now it takes less pennies since it's 25% off. You will thank me, I promise. 
This is a sponsored post for Eden Fantasys, but you guys know Jules would never, ever steer you in the wrong direction with sexual related items! Hurry while the sale is on!! Also while they don't have the school girl outfit I picked up in stock, they do have others and they are also having a huge spring lingerie sale right now too! Have fun shopping!!! 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

TMI Tuesday - Illicit Skills

Illicit Skills

Some of this TMI was virtually written for our very own Miranda, she's like MacGyver meets Nancy Drew. 
1. Do you know how to pick a lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access?
No, my parents never taught me this skill growing up nor have any of my bad boys - Jules
Depends on the lock. I've successfully picked a few in my day.  - Miranda
2. Do you know how to open a safe with a rotary combination lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access? What did you find?
I can open one yes, but I've never gained unauthorized access or stolen the combo. - Jules
I can open one yes but I haven't ever "cracked a safe" without having the combo - though I may have stolen a few in my day. - Miranda
3. Have you ever made a copy of a key you were not supposed to have? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What were you looking for? Did you find it?
This sounds like something I would have done, but no. I did go with my bff who did in fact do all of this to an ex-bf's house one time. As we were in the house, someone came in and we hid in the shower. I was DYING. I was sure we were going to be caught and sent to prison. - Jules
HA! This one is a no for me. Not that I haven't thought about it. Sheesh, I really sound like a criminal! - Miranda
4. Have you ever stolen or guessed a password? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What did you do?
I've guessed Russell's b/c I know all of his and I used Gavin's in November (though I knew it b/c I'd created it for him) to email his gf on FB. He says I hacked his acct...I say I was using info he'd willing given me...you say tomato. - Jules
Duh does Coach ring a bell? Though to be fair he gave me his password and then was so dumb that when he changed it he only changed one digit.  Stupid boys. At various times I had full acess to his phone, email, Facebook, and bank account. Though he didn't know I had access to email or his bank account.  This is why they say you're not supposed to use one password for everything! - Miranda
5. Do you know how to get data from a computer that requires a password you don’t know?
No, I'm a computer moron outside of the basics. - Jules
Alas I do not. But I bet I could figure it out.  I know a thing or two about computers. And if I couldn't figure it out, I bet I could call in a couple favors and get someone to do the dirty work for me. - Miranda
6. Do you know how to record a telephone call? Have you ever done so secretly? Did you hear anything interesting? What?
Haha, in like 7th grade we used to do that some but no not for real - Jules
I think I was on the receiving end of one of those phone calls Jules lol lol lol.  I know how to do it on my cell and my office phone but that's about it.  I've never done so secretly and it just seems silly. - Miranda
7. Have you ever used a webcam or nanny cam to photograph someone secretly?
Never, creepy! - Jules
No way! - Miranda
8. Have you ever used an infrared camera to photograph someone secretly in the dark?
Again, creepy...no. - Jules
No though my daddy was a private investigator after he retired and he had all this spy stuff. I should have kept it all after he passed away. What fun I'd be having! - Miranda
9. Have you ever learned anything important by deliberate eavesdropping?
Well of course I have...the most recent one was the whole Gavin and his gf thing at the hair salon incident. I'm definitely one to tune in, but I also know that there are many versions of a story and it is always best to get info first hand if you want accuracy. - Jules
Sure. If you keep quiet and keep your ears open you can learn all sorts of stuff. I don't know what my most recent gem would be though I'm really good at getting people talking about things they don't want to talk about. - Miranda
10. Do you know how to hot-wire a car?
LMAO, uh no I do not. - Jules
HA! No though it seems a useful skill to have in a pinch. - Minranda
Bonus: Have you ever been paid for your sexual skills? What skill(s) did you perform?
Yes, in college I slept with a customer (I was a bartender) after he paid my rent for the month. We just had regular sex, nothing fancy. As much as I love sex, I do not love selling it. It's not my thing and I felt pretty gross afterwards. He wasn't gross, but the act of getting paid for it was (in my very liberal opinion) not worth the money. - Jules
No I have not. Though I did make Coach pay for the paddle, wrist restraints, and two vibrators he wanted me to buy for us to play with. I guess that's sort of getting paid.  And a few months after the final time we broke up I told him I'd be his non-sexual girlfriend for $1500 a month and if he wanted to include sex it'd be $2500. He found that very offensive lol. - Miranda
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Dreams to Remember

So in my “waking life” I’m all blessed out from my period of grounding. Miranda is cool, calm, and collected once again. And yet my “non-waking life” still seems to be in turmoil.

Everyone has about 100 dreams on average a night. Some people can remember whole dreams, some remember only bits and pieces, and then there are people like me who remember nothing of the dream from the night before. I used to be one of the people who dream and remember my dreams every night. I could wake up with almost crystal clear recall of them. Incidentally I also used to dream stuff all the time and then have déjà vu days, weeks, and months later when the very thing I dreamed actually happened. Weird! I digress though…

So after my dad committed suicide, I stopped dreaming. I know they say you always dream it’s just a matter of whether or not you remember it but to me it felt like I stopped dreaming. When I was going to counseling after he died, my therapist told me that going through something like the suicide of a loved one is like being a life altering car crash. Your body physically, mentally, and emotionally feels that much trauma. That your brain can actually be “damaged” from the trauma and that oftentimes you develop symptoms of PTSD. Obviously adding on the separation and divorce in the months after his death didn’t do much to give my body/mind/soul any relief.

For like the first two years, I never had a dream I remembered. It’s like when I went to sleep my mind completely shut off. I still sleep like that in large part. I have only had a handful of dreams in the last six or so months that I can remember even. And only one of my dad. Yeah that entire movie BS they try to sell us about our loved ones coming back in our dreams apparently doesn’t apply to me. Side note – My mom has only had one dream about my dad too. Side-side note – I pray all the time for him to be in my dreams.

Again I digress. So about two weeks ago I was telling the girls here at work how I never dream anymore and then randomly I’ve had about 5-6 nights where I’ve dreamed and I remember bits and pieces. They are always weirdly violent and angry lol. I guess while the anger is seeping out of my conscious my subconscious is still an angry bitch.

I’ve dreamed about getting in screaming arguments with people I don’t know (one was about how their daughter treated my daughter), seeing other people fist fighting while I just watched, people breaking into my home and me screaming my head off at them to scare them, and most recently a very vivid dream about seeing a tornado headed towards my house while I ran around frantically in a 1950s nightie trying to prepare a survival kit. Weird!

Because I used to dream so much and remember them, I’ve always loved playing around with dream interpretation. So here’s what these dreams mean – some I agree with and am like “duh of course that’s what it means” and some I’m not so sure about.
  • Generally seeing fighting in a dream indicates inner turmoil and that some aspect of you is in conflict with another aspect of yourself. Perhaps an unresolved or unacknowledged part is fighting for its right to be heard.
  • To see others fighting in your dream suggests that you are unwilling to acknowledge your own problems and turmoil. You are not taking any responsibility or initiative in trying to resolve issues in your waking life.
  • To dream that you are arguing suggests that you are trying to resolve some internal conflict or some unsettled issue in your waking life. Consider the symbolism of whom you are arguing with and what you are arguing about.
  • To see a tornado in your dream suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. That you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control and that you may be facing a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive.
Your subconscious mind and your unconscious mind collaborate to generate dreams. When a dream gains enough momentum it will become vivid enough to impress the dormant consciousness enough that you will remember it. Sometimes the everyday experiences we have are so dominant they cancel out our dreams in our memory. Maybe for so long I was suppressing so much emotion and just struggling with the day to day reality of my life that my mind simply didn’t have the capacity to dream or remember the dreams as it were.

Just another interesting side effect of my grounding.


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Funny Stuff (Not Ha Ha)

What a week of weirdos! The 27 year old I've been chatting with is super cute, but I think he's another dud. He seems to want a friend and someone to text with, but after more than a week has not asked me out...next. Now, I've been talking to a guy online for a few months that I met on the dreaded POF (where I met the 27 year old too...clearly it's time to turn that profile off).  In the course of conversation, it turns out that he's a 41 year old guy living in a clean and sober house. If you are unfamiliar with that term, it's basically a boarding house for addicts, many of which have just left prison or treatment and need housing that is affordable. Ok, I could deal with that. He's an addict, but I draw those like moths to flames, so at least he was in recovery, right?

Wrong...he emails me kind of out of the blue after no conversation for a few weeks to tell me that he fucked up. He relapsed. Ok, again I can handle...addicts relapse. He was emailing me to tell me that he was in treatment. Even better, yeah? Not only did he relapse, but he was seeking almost immediate help...good for him. The social worker in me was pleased. He told me that he appreciated being able to talk to me b/c I got it  and I seemed like someone that would be good for him to talk to...again, ok. We discussed how he absolutely was not in a position to be in a relationship at this point b/c of his relapse and such, but that I was totally cool being friends, until he dropped this bomb. I got a follow up email yesterday morning telling me that he had really messed up and wait for it...was headed back to prison. Yes, back to prison, as in he'd been there already...failed to mention that in his previous "confessionals".

Shortly after I had that bomb thrown at me, I was texting with Owen for the billionth time this week only to find out his side job this week was yet again thwarting sex, as it has daily since we had epic sex on the beach Monday. Anyway, when I figured out he was on the other side of the island, I headed out to do some shopping in town.  As I am walking across the street to innocently go into my local drug store, I see Damien. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He saw me and turned around and did a double take. I'm not one to ignore things, so I simply said "Yeah, it's me...". He stopped and started chatting me up. For real? I remember standing there thinking 'is this seriously happening?'.  We talked for a few minutes and he asked me how I was doing and then in the next breath tells me that he still loves me. I told him not to b/c I'm apparently toxic for him. He laughed and told me that he is still seeing the fat grandma at night, but the previous gf that he was with when I met him is back around and he spends the days with her. Then he told me that he could probably fit me in there too. I declined and told him on that note, I had to run.

Sadly, it seems I was running to the same store he was going. So he followed me and talked my ear off the whole way across the parking lot...awesome. He tells me that now instead of taking pain pills, he has to shoot his drugs b/c it's a stronger, faster relief. Um, ok...great...another hard core addict that is drawn to me. Universe, WTF are you doing to me?? He also asked me in the middle of this drug store if his last "counterattack" on my personal ad had worked and driven men away. I told him no and that we were NOT having that discussion in the middle of a store and turned around and walked off. People, I am a crazy, addict magnet.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Bent but Not Broken

So I broke grounding rules slightly this weekend. Wednesday night I had a very last minute ticket turn up to a concert so I ended up going with my boss, my sister, and a big group of her friends. It was fun and we all behaved very appropriately. Thursday night my friend’s band was playing and since I hadn’t really been out out in so long I caved and went with D.

On the way there she told me that it was Coach’s birthday and he was supposed to be there. I literally demanded she turn the car around and take me home but she dissuaded me by swearing that he wasn’t even going to approach us. She said she’d already laid down the law and told him he wasn’t allowed anywhere near us. And I’m pleased to say that was exactly the case. I saw him across the room when we came in and he stayed as far away as possible. So far in fact that I completely forgot he was there, especially after a cute 25 year old started chatting me up. We danced a little and I let him sneak a kiss but then I sent him on his way for never having seen the movie Urban Cowboy. What’s up with me and Jules and the young guys???

Friday night I stayed home and watched TV until I thought my eyes would fall out. It was a gloriously lazy day/night. I did have a funny conversation with Kansas that night. He was texting me trying to get an invite over and he asked me if I was sure I wanted a relationship. I told him yes I was sure. And he said, “why do you want to go and mess up the good thing we have going?” I laughed at him and asked just what he thought we had going. We text a couple times a week at most and I haven’t seen him in a month! Guys are so strange.

Saturday night I had every intention of staying home but then D and her boyfriend begged me to go out with them and he promised to pay for everything. Who am I to turn down a prime offer like that lol? We ended up on a marathon ride along and went to four different bars. One good one, the rest all crap holes. Nothing huge happened. I was trying to stay pretty chill and not drink too much but some highlights of the night were seeing the world’s longest mullet, overhearing two black guys say “damn country girls can get down” while watching me and D dance (note we both had on cowboy hats – hence the country girl comment), and best of all I randomly saw the Repo guy from New Year’s Eve and his weirdo friend – even better was that they had on the exact same outfits they wore on NYE.

By the end of that very long night I realized that I’m starting to be totally over going out like that. Every once in a while is fun but to do it two nights in such close proximity is just overkill. Especially going out in the town where I live. If I go to other towns at least I get to see different people. Here it’s just the same old people who frankly don’t deserve to have anything to do with my life.

So I’m back on the wagon till the end of April when I’ll complete my 60 days of grounding. This has definitely been one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself in a long long time.


Saturday, April 7, 2012

Good Friday? Hell No...Good Thursday!

Last night was a crazy fun night that ended with me being hungover like a mf today though. I went out last night about 8:30pm with my ex work husband and his Asian gf of the week visiting from her mother land. I hate when he makes me do this b/c these poor women are usually about as exciting as milk toast and rarely speak English. This one was different though...we got a few drinks in her and she was chatty and fun.

We left the 1st bar and went to a 2nd one and when we pulled up, we got out beside these guys sitting in the back of a car with the windows up. I live in Hawaii, so if you are unsure of what they were probably doing I'll clue you in...they were in all likelihood smoking weed (though they denied it). So, I'd had a few glasses of wine at this point and I stepped out, smiled at them, and asked in a coy, mother like voice "What are ya'll doing?". Then I busted out laughing over their expressions. We went inside and started drinking and eventually they came in and sat down near us. As the night progressed and I drank more and more, the flirting increased. One of the guys (and they were all like early-mid 20s) was super cute. I love dirty surfer boys...a lot. He was a blond haired guy with dreads and an awesome dimple smile. I melted.

I'm not sure how all of this went down b/c of the aforementioned drinking, but I know that at the end of the night I left with them and not my ex work husband. They took me to a bonfire on a beach and met up with some of their other friends and sat around listening to this one guy play guitar and sing. It was a lot of fun, though I did note that I was by far the oldest person there. At some point, the guy I came with and I went up further on the beach under some trees and hooked up. I can't give you details b/c I don't remember most of them, but I left sore this morning and with no panties, so I'm thinking it was a great time.

I woke up sometime in the 5am hour, under a tree on that beach, wrapped up in a sheet beside this guy, getting rained on. I tried to rouse him up to help me get his friend to drive me home, but he wasn't budging after he asked the time and then he told me I had said I wasn't leaving until like 6am. I knew I needed to get home and I was still pretty drunk at that point. I weighed my options of trying to get his friend up or just hitching a ride home on the road, but I wasn't 100% sure where I was. So, I aired on the side of caution and opted for trying to get the friend up.

I opened the car where this guy was sleeping (They were sleeping on the beach last night so that they could get up early to surf 1st thing this morning.) and patted him on the legs to wake him and asked for a ride. He said to give him 30 minutes and I was like "yeah, no I need to go now". I offered to drive if he wanted to sleep and even offered to pay him, which eventually motivated him and he very nicely drove me the 20 minutes or so back to my house, where I paid him, went in and fell into my bed for about 3 hours before Chloe started in on Mission Get Mama Out of Bed. She woke up about 3am and noticed I wasn't home, which has lead to an inquisition ALL day. She asked Gwyn and I separately if the place I went to was even open at 3am. Dude, totally busted by my 8 year old...epic.

Meanwhile today, Owen has been texting me all day trying to get me to meet him. I couldn't this morning b/c I was so completely hungover and I was still sore and I had Chloe. He tried again mid-afternoon and I had that worked out but then a series of events on my end with timing made it impossible. I've got him working on tomorrow morning if he can get away, or for sure on Monday when the kids are in school since I'm off! He knows my birthday is Sunday and is dying to give me birthday sex. I cracked up laughing at him earlier this week when he asked me if my birthday is always on Easter...um, no sweetheart because maybe you've noticed in your almost 41 years of life on this planet that Easter moves??

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I Felt the Earth Move Under My Feet..

Brace yourselves people – in the last 36 hours Miranda has turned down sex TWICE and a date! Has the world started shifting it’s axis? Are we in a time vortex? Is it backwards week? Is the end of time near? Alas, I think grounding has finally set in and shifted ole’ Miranda’s mindset.

Monday night after softball Kansas was texting me and asked me to come over. I initially said I’d take a rain check because it was late, it was a Monday night, and I was tired. Then Tuesday night he was texting me again. Asked me to come over and give him some “TLC.” I hesitated and spent about the next 30 minutes in stunned silence because I realized that despite my raging hormones, I really didn’t want to just have sex with someone.

Trumpets blared. The skies parted. A spotlight shone on my wonderment. I was quiet for so long he texted me again and asked if I wasn’t interested and I told him it wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in having sex but it was that I’d rather have sex with someone I’m in a relationship with. That I wanted more than a casual fling and that continuing to fool around with him merely distracted me from what I really wanted.

Yep, I both turned down sex (with an extremely well hung guy) and I told the truth. Kansas was quiet for a while and then he started joking around and making general chit chat. I’m not sure that he fully believes me but there was definitely a different tenor to our texting after that.

So then this morning I got a phone call on the way to work. It was from Hot Chocolate, the kids’ after-school teacher. We had a blazing hot hook up about two years ago and I quickly dissuaded him from any further interaction because I wasn’t divorced – though really it was because we have absolutely nothing in common and even back then I couldn’t see anything coming out of it other than a lot of awkward exchanges when I picked up the kids.

So anyways, since then we still flirt and are amenable and he’s pretty well kept his distance (other than the bizarre paying for me to get my hair cut in December). This week I felt like his flirting was slightly more intense and he made a joke about us going out. I replied back with a lot of laughter. But then this morning he called me and I answered the phone with my first thought being that something was wrong with one of the kids when he said he’d been thinking he’d really like to take me out to dinner Friday night. I stammered a vague reply about my schedule being full because I was so caught off guard and he said for me to double check my schedule and let him know.

Now the old Miranda would have jumped at it. It’s a kid free weekend. I have nothing planned and sitting home is not my preferred activity. But this new version of Miranda has apparently taken the driver’s seat. The reality is that despite his hotness and sick body, we still have absolutely nothing in common and it’s never going to go anywhere. He’s not a JR by any means. And thinking ahead for a change (hello Pam) even if I thought there was something there how strange would that be for the kids for him to suddenly be in their personal lives. I mean they see him every single school day. So Hot Chocolate’s getting a big fat No.

This turning down sex and dates is quite the seismic shift for Miranda. If this new Miranda keeps it up I might be rocking your world in a whole different way in the days ahead.


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

TMI - Getting us hot!

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions focus on sexual desire.
1. Answer the question: What makes you hot?
Sex makes me hot! I love sexting, foreplay, the actual act, afterplay...yep pretty much the whole deal. Kissing does it for me too if he's a good kisser. - Jules
Everything is making  me hot these days. Remember my horoscope said I'd be a horn dog for months to come lol.  Seriously, I love the whole anticipation phase leading up to the first everything.  That agonizing "waiting" period makes me hot! - Miranda
Men in suits. Men in tuxedos. Men in uniform. Men in camo. -Gwyn
2. What is it that you want, when you look at porn?a. To feel happy
b. To learn
c. To relax, relieve tension
d. To orgasm

D. Duh - Jules
I'm not much for porn but when I've watched it it's usually out of fascination to see what weird stuff is out there.  - Miranda
I'm not big on the porn either but I have watched it for both B and D. Watching porn to relax and feel happy makes me laugh. Yeah, I'm just gonna go home after a long day and pop in some porn to relax....-Gwyn
3. You’ve been asked to be a part of a porn movie production. Which job will you do? Why did you select that?
a. The star of the porn film–Doug Hardwicke or Fachina Istite
b. The director–staging the scenes and directing the actors, lighting, camera shots, etc.
c. The fluffer–you’re in charge of keeping the actors “excited” about their work
d. The camera person getting all the tight, up in there, close shots

Well I would definitely say A b/c Gavin always called me his porn star, but realistically I'm about to turn 36 so perhaps C. - Jules
I imagine working in porn is a very smelly industry.  I'd have to go with B - the director.  I wouldn't want to be too close to the action but telling everyone what to do might be fun. - Miranda
I guess I'd go with B- the director. I like telling people what to do. But if I could turn down the invitation to participate all together, I would. -Gwyn
4. Right this very moment you are horny and are looking for a casual hookup for sex. Under which, of the following headings, would you place your ad?
(w=woman, m=man, t=transexual/transvestite)

w4m, m4w, m4m, w4w, t4m, m4t, w4t, t4w, t4mw, mw4t, mw4mw, mw4w, mw4m, w4mw, m4mw, w4ww, m4mm, ww4m mm4w m4ww, w4mm
Well Jules loves a party, so it could be W4M, W4MM, W4WM, or MW4W - Jules
I am Pam! So I wouldn't place an ad!  But if I was it'd be W4M. - Miranda
Is this some sort of foreign language? The only thing I'm interested in is sex with one man who was born a man and only likes women. -Gwyn 
5. From now on, ’til the end of time you will be able to experience sexual pleasure via a single method. From the list below, choose that method. Why did you make that choice?
a. Vaginal penetration
b. Anal penetration
c. Masturbation with your fingers/hand
d. Masturbation with a single favorite sex toy. What is the toy?
e. Being masturbated (e.g. fingered, hand-job) by the fingers/hands of another person
f. Body Touching from another–full body massage, caressing, kneading, licking, sucking, biting, etc but no insertion of anything in any orifices.
g. Oral sex

Oh lord jesus, I can't imagine picking one...I guess A. That's tough though b/c I love anal sex and I love the way Owen touches me and uses toys. - Jules
Well that just sounds like a nightmare. I'd go with A if I had to.  But that just seems no fun. - Miranda
A. -Gwyn
Bonus: What’s the sexiest thing you did this past weekend? Got any pics or a vid? :D 
Well it wasn't this weekend because Owen was on lock down with the wife being off...It was on Monday, Jules Appreciation Day, where he showed me twice how much he appreciates me. Details are on the blog. I'd post a pic or two but the girls would d-i-e. - Jules
This past weekend was a kid weekend so it was about as sexy as getting dressed up like a lady to go to a wedding on Saturday night. - Miranda
The sexiest thing I did this weekend was have sex with McDreamy. It rocked :) -Gwyn
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady

Well, we know Jules is a lot of things, but definitely not a lady. ;) I'm a kick ass amazing woman, but I love to get down and dirty and quite frankly ladies do not kiss and tell, so aren't you all glad I'm not a lady?! The sex drought ended today in an epic way and it just so happened to be Jules Appreciation Day. We're having 2 of those this month because I missed the fall one...so, one today and one next Monday! If you have not been following the blog, I have 2 days a year (one in the spring and one in the fall) where I do not work, do not do school stuff, and I only do things that I want to do...period.

Owen decided that he would love to be a participant and he felt compelled to show me not once, but twice today how much he appreciates me. I love that the men in my life always embrace this day. He came over first thing this morning while we had some alone time at the house. Gwyn texted that she was otw home as he was otw over, but he had a Dr. appt. so I knew it would be a quickie and they wouldn't cross paths or more importantly she wouldn't walk in on us.

He came in and I was playing with my new glass toy, which he has deemed his new favorite. I had it in my kitty and he had asked to go straight to my ass, which was fine by me...but he decided otherwise and spent about 15 minutes giving me the MOST amazing orgasms by doing a little DV with the toy and his huge cock...OMG. Yes, it was most definitely Jules Appreciation Day. I came like a billion times. He realized the time and knew that he had about 20 minutes to get 30 minutes down the road, so he suggested that we finish after his appt...um, yes please!

I drove up to one of our old meeting spots and climbed into his van and onto his lap. We spent forever just kissing and he had requested that I come with only a dress on...no underwear. He pulled my tits out of my dress and hiked it up around my hips and caressed and kissed me in the all the right places getting me warmed up again for round 2. I've never met a man that can repeatedly make me cum with just his fingers, but he can. I hopped off of him after I'd finished and sucked him for a bit and then laid down to take him fully and deeply in my ass for some mind altering orgasms. He came nice and hard and kept going to give me a few more. We finished and made out some more and then I headed out to spend the day on the beach.

He texted me later in the day to tell me his wife has been googling how to find deleted texts on an iPhone. I've changed my VM to the standard one and my phone is in Russell's name, so I think we are safe. I asked him what he wanted to do...if he needed a break or what. I told him I don't want to complicate his life. He assured me that I do not (though clearly that's not true...) and that we need to just text on his 2nd line thing for now with no pics and such and he thinks things will be fine. I'd be over this by now if it wasn't the perfect non-relationship for me. I was thinking about this today after getting that text and contemplating just ending things, but honestly why? He is literally perfect for me for now. I get and get and get from him...the best sex ever and really I give very little. I mean I give him great sex back, but I don't have to do anything for him. I don't have to consider his feelings...I don't have to cook and clean for him...I don't have to plan my life around his...yeah, I'm getting a good thing and I'm keeping it going. I hope karma spares me.