Friday, April 30, 2010

Nature Vs. Nurture

The raining of men as Miranda refers to it as halted some here since the big day on Tuesday. Feast or Famine I suppose…not sure what to think about Mr. Diver. He was ALL into me on Monday…lots of emailing, texting, call me kind of thing. Then, we were supposed to go out Monday night and he got called into work (which I think was legit). He started texting me again after he got back Monday night saying that he might just drive up anyway, but he had to work Tuesday morning so we finally decided to just reschedule. I sent him a text saying “Hi” Wednesday and we arranged to go out tonight BUT it’s now 1pm my time and I haven’t heard anything from him…so now I can’t go or I’ll seem too available, damn it. It’s also possible he googled me and found out that I’m still technically married with a kid. I guess the world of cyber stalking can go both ways. We hadn’t  discussed  the details of our lives yet. He went straight for the date before dropping off, so he doesn’t know about my gay husband and my kid.
Mr. Chile emailed me this AM to see what my weekend schedule is like, but we’re kind of off this weekend. Russell works tomorrow night until 11pm and Mr. Chile has a canoe race on Saturday at 8am in town, so doubtful I’ll be seeing him this weekend.
We had quite the event at our house last night. Chloe has lice. OMG I feel dirty and poor and gross. Everyone in Hawaii gets it, but somehow I’m not comforted by this fact. We were up ALL night treating it…literally went to bed at 2am. Fortunately she was the only one in the house…bless her heart. I couldn’t help but notice as Russell and I finished our night on the porch with some adult beverages, that  Gavin and his gf were up partying all night and I’ve got money that says they were doing coke. (Gwyn, your post made me think about this today.) Gavin is an early to bed kind of guy…he’s rarely ever up that late except the one night I was with him that he was doing coke. I’m thinking it really is time I let that one go…that’s a world of mess I don’t need.  It’s too bad though since the Owen drought is starting.  I hope the kitty recognizes what a hot mess his life is and that I seriously don’t need that drama. Supposedly he’s moving at the end of May…I’m back to hoping it happens.
For those of you few that don’t know me, my Dad and my bio Mother are cocaine addicts. I’ve tried it…I love it…I don’t do it. I’ve seen how this story ends. My Dad overdosed last summer. I’m lucky he’s still here, but he has a lot of addictions to deal with and he’s not…sad story.  My mother has been clean for about 8 or 9 years, but again my family history will be a post for another time (or never). She and I are divorced per me. She still tries to contact me, but she’s a really horrible person that I want nothing to do with again…ever.  The twist to this tale is that while I don’t speak to her anymore,  I found out last week that my Dad has apparently been chatting her up lately (or vice versa) since my stepmom left him last fall…weird. I’ve got to be one of the only people in the world that hopes and prays her parents DO NOT get back together again. My Mother actually left us for the man she was having an affair with when I was 18 months old. He sold my Dad the windows to the house he was building for us. Fast forward several (25) years and my Dad starts revealing to me the affairs he’s had since being married to my stepmom (who I adore as if she had given birth to me…really the best of the 3 parents…hands down.).  This summer when he overdosed and was in ICU for a month, we thought he was dying and starting going through all of his stuff. My brother and I found condoms in his truck and penile creams and whatnot in the garage (along with a huge stack of porn). It was disturbing to say the least.  Which leads me to my profound question of the day: Is infidelity genetic or are we all just a bunch of whores in my family??

Meet Me Halfway

On Monday, I finally caved and agreed to see The Inmate after work. He only had an hour (which is the main reason I agreed to this) between the time we both got off work and the time he had to be back at the halfway house – every time I write ‘halfway house’ I literally laugh out loud at myself.

So he met me at my house and we sat outside on my front porch and talked. I wouldn’t let him come inside – and I’m sure you’re all thinking “But Gwyn, this isn’t safe. He’s an ex-convict and now he knows where you live.” I thought about that too but you have to realize that this is a guy who dated one of my best friends for over 5 years, I know him fairly well and he has never done anything to make me scared of him in the least. It’s not like he was in jail for a violent crime – he used to move a lot of cocaine. I’m not saying that makes him a good person I’m just saying he’s not the only cocaine dealer I know or have known (but let me make one thing very clear, I have NEVER and will NEVER do that drug…didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea). Drug dealers come in all shapes and sizes, they’re not all strung out or thugs like you see on tv. The only thing I’ve really found that they all have in common is that they’re ladies men. I digress…….ok so the meeting went fine. He gave me a hug when he left and asked if I wanted to hang out Wednesday, I told him just to text me. Wednesday came around, he texted a few times, and I didn’t respond. I was starting to feel pressured by him a little bit and didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.

Eventually I decided that the best way to deal with The Inmate was to keep it 100% with him. I called him and told him about everything that’s going on in my dating life, how he was making me feel pressured, etc. and he told me about what was going on with him. He has a girl that waited on him while he was in prison. He doesn’t want to be with her anymore but feels bad about totally dissing her after she stood by him those five years. There was another girl who he was just having sex with, but apparently she went a little psycho and started professing her love for him and driving by the halfway house to check on him. Seriously? Who does a drive-by of a halfway house?

After we talked, I told him I’m not opposed to hanging out with him but I don’t want there to be any expectations on his end, and I don’t want to get involved in any drama (i.e. his ‘girlfriend’). He is a fun guy, and would pay for EVERYTHING we do so I guess I just kind of figure why not? What’s the worst that could happen in three hours with this guy? He can’t drink, he can’t smoke weed. Our options are all very G rated. He’s also good looking and great at sex. I’m not looking to add him to the man-team right now because I’m sort of overwhelmed as it is (and certainly not lacking in the sex department). If anything, he could be my back up booty call in case I have to cut any of my other team members unexpectedly. And I’m sure he would be fine with that.

Crossfit update: Miranda caught me cyber-stalking him today at work. O.k. I admit I was looking him up online but it was only so I could look at his sexy pictures. He’s sort of a dork in person (a little on the weird/intense/deep side) so looking at his pictures lets me enjoy his sexiness minus the dorkiness. Make sense? Give a girl a break! He doesn’t get back until Sunday and I don’t want to forget what he looks like……..


Thursday, April 29, 2010

Why Can't I Quit You....

So I never made a big announcement but about a week ago, I decided it was time to end things with Sawyer. I know I mentioned that the last time we were together (about 2 weeks ago) if felt like the end was nigh. Well I decided that I was tired of playing his games and that there were too many other fish in the proverbial sea to keep myself tied to him. Plus I figured we’d been in this “relationship” for almost 6 months without getting caught and surely our luck would run out soon.

So the last time he was over, I had planned to “break up” with him but I admit I don’t like confrontation and I decided to take the wimpy way out and just stop pursing him. Last Monday I only emailed him a couple times and that was simply because I was excited about my upcoming trip to Hawaii. We didn’t talk other than that and I certainly was avoiding contacting him no matter how much I wanted to. Bad habits are hard to break!

The weekend passed and this Monday who popped up emailing me like crazy…. Sawyer. He was all “I miss you baby” and “We need some time together soon.” I did respond to his emails but kept them very noncommittal. The email assault continued throughout the week. Somewhere in the last 24 hours, his emails started being queries about my dating life, particularly about Motorcycle Man (MM). I think that one that is the biggest “threat” in Sawyer’s eyes mostly because I described MM as Sawyer all grown up to Sawyer’s face. LOL! So Sawyer’s questions went from vague to direct and he started asking me if I’d slept with MM. I played off the question and reminded Sawyer that I was dating multiple people to which he queried, “So how many guys have you slept with then?”

Now, I’m not stupid. I know he’s playing a game hoping that I’ll say none so he can feel like I’m saving myself for him or some shit like that. And I’m certainly not going to discuss my private life with him. He has no authority of what I do these days, nor has he ever had any say about my personal life.

Now I am moving on from him, don’t get me wrong about that. That’s been in the process for a while; if you’ve been reading this blog you already know that. But there’s still a part of me that has feelings of some sort for him. And there’s some sick, twisted part of me that wants to keep him hanging around as a back up in case all these boys lose interest. But my intelligent, good girl side is screaming at the top of her lungs to keep this relationship a virtual friendship at best. Let’s hope her voice stays the loudest in my conscience in the days to come.


PS: I actually wrote this blog yesterday but there’s been a new development. Feast your eyes on this email trail. It started after I finally gave in and told him I had been with someone else.

Miranda: OMG can we please beat this dead horse a little more. I said yes I had been with someone else already. Here's the deal. You know I had some potentially dangerous feelings for you. I moved out, honestly not thinking that anything more would ever happen with us but I was ok with that. Then you started encouraging me to date and then that whole "never going to tell you how I feel again" thing happened. It was a real slap in the face so to speak about our relationship. So I had to protect myself and I did get out there and I've been having a lot of fun. Things happen when you go out. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if things could have been different with us. But no matter what I have or haven't done, it doesn't change the way things are.

Sawyer: alright

Miranda: I love it. I type a whole paragraph and you answer with one word....

Sawyer: i did tell you to date and see other people, but, i didn’t tell you to sleep with them. i am glad you are having fun and i know it isn’t fair to you in this situation either.. but, it does hurt to know that you’ve been with someone else and in some weird way, i feel like you cheated on me. I don’t really know how to react, because i am the one that is married, not you. i know i haven’t slept with my wife in a very long time and the biggest reason was because i felt like i was stepping out on you. i know that sounds stupid, but, that’s how i feel

Miranda: I can't put my life on hold for something that's not ever going to happen, not matter how much I care about you. And I do get what you're saying because in a weird way I felt like I cheated on you. But you said we couldn't even talk about how we felt and that you were never even going to tell me that you liked me again. So what was I supposed to think/do? When you said that, you pretty much let me know exactly where we stood which was not a good feeling.
Then you come over that night, and yes, you'd been drinking, but then you blow all that to hell with the things you were saying and trying to get me to say. Emotionally, you've put me on a big roller coaster ride the last few months. If I had a choice, things would be different but I don’t.

Sawyer: i don’t expect you to put your life on hold. especially for me. but, you told me that you have fallen for me, then you slept with another guy. but, i guess your personal life in none of my business. i was really hoping that you would have said no to that question. was it 1 guy or more?

Miranda: Yeah I told you that and you said the same thing back, then like 3 weeks later you said we could never say those things again and that you'd never even tell me you liked me. What was I supposed to think? I thought you were telling me to get ready for this thing to end...

This is making me really upset. I gave you every chance in the world to ask me to be more than just a "friend" even knowing you were never going to leave the wife. Don't punish me now because of a limit you set.

I’m so pissed now and over this crap. The email exchange went on for a while and I didn’t tell him I’d actually been with two guys. I figured I’d said more than enough. Eventually he did say he was sorry for making me feel bad about everything. How can someone who is freaking cheating on his wife lecture me about seeing other guys!!!! Sawyer can kiss my ass.


Hump Day? Almost.

The second date with Crossfit is officially over. Here’s a recap:

I got to his house at about 9:30pm Tuesday night, he came outside to meet me at my car and gave me a kiss when he saw me. I was slightly confused when I pulled up to his house because it was REALLY big and in a very nice neighborhood – more on that later (I think I’ve found myself a rich boy). He looked hot, he’s one of those guys who can make cargo shorts and a fitted t-shirt look ridiculously sexy. We walked inside and he gave me a little tour of the crib….aquarium, wet bar, kitchen, six bedrooms, his Cockapoo, hot tub, etc. I quickly realized that this was his parents’ house. Oh my Lord I’m at his parents’ house. Perfect. I asked him who he lived with, he said his parents and told me he thought we had talked about that before (NO we did not). Ends up there is a good explanation for this – he was in the process of buying a new condo and his stepmom had to co-sign for him because his personal training business is only 1-year old, thus only 1 year of tax returns, the loan got denied about a month ago. He told me he’s going to wait until he finishes school in a year and then find a place to buy. That way he will have another year of working under his belt and should be able to do it without a co-signer. I was satisfied with his explanation and decided not to deduct any points.

Next we went into the kitchen and he proceeded to bring out some food his dad had cooked for dinner and made us each a plate. He also told me I looked really nice – yeah, I better I was completely immobilized and wrapped like a mummy for an hour! We ate and talked and then it happened. I heard someone coming down the stairs but my back was turned from that direction so I couldn’t tell who it was. Next thing you know I’m face to face with his dad. Crossfit introduced us and I couldn’t really tell if his dad expected me to be there or if he was as surprised as I was. Anyways, his dad was very nice and left us alone to go feed the fish. I didn’t see his dad again after that and never saw his step-mother. I’m still not sure what to think of this incident – any advice would be appreciated.

After we finished eating he walked outside with me to get my bathing suit from the car so we could get in the aforementioned hot tub. When we got to my car he grabbed me and kissed me a few times telling me “I haven’t had the chance to kiss you yet.” It was definitely a line but it was still nice to hear. Then we headed out to the hot tub with a couple glasses of wine. The hot tub conversation was lovely and he was very much a gentleman. He touched my leg, kissed me a few times and eventually pulled me over to sit on his lap – or more like float on his lap! His body was freaking amazing. I had to catch myself a few times because I was staring so hard.

Eventually we went inside and he said I could rinse off in the shower – with him. I agreed but if he thought I was taking my bikini off in the shower he had another thing coming. We kissed outside the shower while the water was heating up and he tried to untie my top, I quickly told him no. He didn’t try anything else smooth while we were in there.

It was time for bed and we both changed into our pajamas – he was in boxer briefs and OMG it was so sexy. I also got a sneak peak at the package, it’s nothing special but I think it will do. We fooled around for awhile before we both went to sleep. I was right, he knows his way around a woman. And I stuck to my vow of chastity, barely. He even woke me up in the middle of the night to play some more. I don’t know how I escaped that bedroom with my dignity.

Wednesday morning we got up bright and early. We cuddled a little bit and then I had to head out. He gave me a few kisses goodbye and told me to let him know I made it home safe. I also noticed he was grinning at me and sort of chuckling to himself but I didn’t know why. I found out when I got home and looked at myself in the mirror. I have little hickeys all over one side of my neck/collar bone area. So, here I am at work in a turtleneck and it’s 70 degrees outside. Not to mention I’m 29 years old. This must be what slutty feels like.

Crossfit will be back on Sunday and told me he will see me when he gets back. I thanked him for the hickeys. He laughed and apologized. Guess it’s time to borrow Miranda’s hickey-covering makeup so that I can hang out with Truck Driver tonight without having to explain why I look like I’ve been in a fight with a vacuum.


At Last.....

After weeks, nay months, of Facebook chatting and texting, College Crush (AKA suspected Pillsbury Doughboy) finally asked me out. Though as his typical MO it was a wee bit vague.

He and I text just about every day and it varies from just friendly chit chat to deep life altering conversations to fun & flirty. Let me give you some back story.

College Crush (CC) was a boy I obviously had a crush on back in the day at school. We were friends but my much less confident self was never brave enough to ask him out. He was in a frat, though not the typical frat guy, and a bit of a party boy so I mostly just hoped we’d run into each other at a club one night when I had enough liquid courage to flirt with him outright. When I had finally worked up the courage (without the alcohol), I happened to start dating another guy so friends is all we ever were.

Randomly we ran into each other a time or two over the next 10 years but we never really kept in touch until Facebook – cue the dramatic music. I always remembered him and connected with him on Facebook maybe a year or so ago. We exchanged a few messages via Facebook but that was about it. Then about the same time I started to really flirt with Sawyer, CC and I started Facebook messaging. All totally innocent and very above board that I did confess that I was unhappy in my relationship to him.

He was there as a friend through my dad’s passing and in the months that followed. Then about 3 months ago the messaging took on a decidedly flirty tone and it’s only gotten worse (in a good way lol). About six weeks ago we switched to mainly texting each other. Now we text pretty much every day, mostly in the evening. He lives about an hour and a half away and I get to his city relatively often for work but he also travels so our schedules have yet to match up yet. We’ve danced around the idea of one day having a drink and commiserating together over whatever is going on in our lives but nothing has happened yet in real life.

For a while I’ve felt like he was going to ask me out and I’ve been pestering him for a more recent photo. The ones he has on Facebook are indeterminably older. He always seems to have an excuse as to why he forgets to send one or can’t send one at that moment so I’m pretty sure that means he’s turned into the Pillsbury Doughboy. And while chubbier guys are really not my thing, I’m not opposed to seeing him since we’ve had this decade long crush thing going on and because if nothing else he and I are definitely going to be friends for quite a while. Alas, still no photo – what’s a girl to think?

So tonight he was telling me about his new apartment in downtown that is within walking distance to his favorite bar – every single person’s idea of heaven – living right near a bar. And he said, “When I’m all settled, I want you to come down and we’ll go out finally.” Not an exactly “let’s go out on X date” but still he finally threw it out there. Shew! Now we just have to wait and see if it ever happens…


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Whoring It Up or Kitty Unleashed!

Yesterday was a busy day! Owen came over in the morning (finally). About 10 minutes before he was to arrive though, Gavin calls. He leaves a message (because I didn’t answer) inviting me over for coffee…which means he was sitting on his back porch looking at my house having coffee…uh-oh. I quick texted Miranda with a WTF?!. Then, he calls again as Owen is pulling into my driveway. He left another message about wanting to hang out before he had to go to work. Owen comes in and we have some smoking hot sex, as always. OMG I’ve never, ever met a man that enjoys pleasuring me the way this one does…I mean most men like it when a girl cums a lot but Owen freaking gets off on doing it to me over and over and over again. It’s still the BEST sex ever…hands down. He will literally do anything I tell him to do and he does it so well! Afterwards in the shower (because it ALWAYS requires a shower), he starts asking me questions about my divorce. This is weird because remember when he started oversharing about his wife and how unhappy he is in his marriage? I put a ban on chit chat of this nature. I told him I wanted to fuck more and talk less. We’d been true to this until today…he came over super chatty. Anyway, I answered that I was legally going to be married until I finish school for financial reasons…etc. I will note because Miranda and I were discussing this today in relation to Sawyer, he never asks me if I’m seeing anyone (thankfully!). Then, he moved his conversation onto his upcoming family vacation. Apparently he’s going to be gone 3-4 weeks starting next week…ugg…I’m hating that. He was all cute about it though telling me not to freak if he goes MIA for a while because he’s going to be off island. He continued chatting about some other things until he finally decided that he really had to leave as his family is in town again.
No sooner had the man pulled his van out of the driveway than Gavin calls again. I mean seriously…I don’t think Owen was even at the road yet. He asked what I was up to and if he could come over for a few minutes before work to check something on my computer. I said ok and he raced over. I didn’t even have time to get dressed as I was still in my towel. He came in and told me he’d been calling…Um, yeah I know…I can see my missed calls. I said something to that effect and he was all like what’ve you been up to this morning? I lied and said not much and he kept pressing asking was I busy this morning and stuff…hilarious. Now the good part of this is that he doesn’t seem to know Owen because he did not ask why Owen specially by name was at my house. He just kept asking what I’d been doing. What does he think I was doing?? I answered the door in my towel after a man just left my house that he was obviously staking out. Anyway despite this, he asked for sex but then had to go when he got a call from a guy he was supposed to be working with chewing him out for not being there yet…thankfully because even though I’m a big fan of threesomes…two different guys in a span of 15 minutes is really whoring it up even for me.
Flash forward to last night, Russell told me that he didn’t have plans tonight and if I wanted to reschedule my date from last night I could. Russell and I sort of have our own date nights…mine are Mon, Wed, Fri and his are Tues, Thurs…weekends we play by ear. I found this fairly nice of him, but I didn’t really want to be the first to contact Mr. Diver to reschedule right then. So, I was checking my email and Mr. South America had sent me a message about getting together. Mr. South America (we shall henceforth call Mr. Chile b/c it’s shorter and that’s his country of origin) replied to a CL ad of mine last week. He’s older than what I normally go for….45, but I seem to be digging men in their 40s right now (Owen turns 40 today, Gavin is 43…see a pattern?). Anyway, he asked me out for drinks and came over to pick me up. He lives up here, which is nice too because most of the men I talk to live in town or some other part of the island. He took me to a local bar for wine and cocktails where we talked a lot. I’d already had a bottle of wine at this point before I even left home and a couple hits, so I was feeling no pain and pretty chatty. He suggested we leave, get more wine, and go back to his apartment. I agreed and we headed that way. His English isn’t great, but he’s got a delightful accent. I must say that he’s quite the gentleman. He insisted on paying for everything, opened doors (car and otherwise) for me, and was just very sweet and respectful. At his house, we opened the wine and next thing I knew I was having some more freaking sex. It was drunken, hot sex and I must admit I don’t remember a lot of it, but what I do remember was pretty awesome. He lasted for a long time too – I love that in a man. (That is one of Gavin’s shortcomings…he’s got a huge cock, but he cums pretty fast, but can go again quickly.) Anyway, sex was great and we finished things off for the evening by eating a sandwich to “sober up” some before he took me home. I’m exhausted today…totally was late for work because I slept in some…meaning I got all of about 4 hours of sleep. When I woke up this morning though and checked my email, Mr. Chile had left a very sweet message about last night. He’s not all over the top smoking hot like Owen and Gavin are, but he’s definitely a strong contender right now.
Today I did break down and text Mr. Diver otw to work to say “Hi”. We tentatively have a date set up for Friday night. Mr. Chile asked me last night if I was seeing anyone else that had replied. I told him not yet, but probably. He actually told me that this was his first venture onto CL. He said he’d been looking for some surf equipment and decided to check it out. I laughed out loud at him, but he seemed sincere. I seriously doubt it, but whatever. He told me I was too hot to be on there and asked why I don’t meet men “the normal way”. Well “normal” is Internet dating now Pops, but I also have a husband at home and a kid in tow most places…rarely do I get hit on in public. ;)

Don't Rock the Boat....

So I had a chat with a friend the other day that left me a little unsettled.  Apparently, over the last few months with all the changes in my life she felt like she didn’t know me anymore.  That we didn’t have much in common these days.  I think more than anything it was just a time/distance issue and perhaps a little slackness on both of our behalves on keeping in touch.  But, it still got me to thinking.

I’ve had many a person tell me that getting divorced really changes your friendships.  That some of your friends will suddenly become distant either to concerns about the strength of their own marriages or because they suddenly see you as some sort of competition.  That some friends will find themselves unable to connect with you because they view your life as so very different from theirs.  Also, some friends will suddenly be envious of your freedom and that will put a chink in your relationship.  (Please note – I don’t think any of these things are the reason for the bump in the aforementioned friendship.)  And of course, for your single friends, suddenly they will totally love you and be all over you because you are finally “one of them.”  That you get a lot of new BFFs simply because now you can and do go out with them on a social level.

So lately I've been thinking about the friendships in my life and how they have changed since I made the decision to leave Duckie.  Some friendships that had long been dormant have sprung back to life in new and surprising ways.  Look at my friend Melissa (of Melissa and Dave who so kindly and generously helped lug me up three flights of stairs to my freedom).  She and I had been in mid-level touch in recent years thanks to the internet but our friendship is thriving now at a completely new level.  Gwyn and I are another example.  We’ve been building a friendship for the last six months but things have definitely ratcheted up since January.  Of course between some other personal crises in our lives previous to January, I think Gwyn and me were meant to be friends regardless of our martial statuses.  Or even me and Jules.  We’ve been in touch for a while and through random family crises, we’ve even spent a fair amount of time together in the last year despite living across country from each other.  When we revealed the marriage dramas in our life, I think our friendship leapt light-years ahead of the normal friendship timeline.  So those have been good changes.

However, some friendships, my two college BFFS, that were the foundation in my world have definitely suffered and I’m not entirely sure why.  College BFF #1 from the other day mentioned that she felt like I wasn’t the same person I was before.  I countered with saying that I was exactly the same person I was just that I had a differently lifestyle.  Despite all the dating/boys/sex, I’m still busting my butt at work, being a mom, going to church, etc.  Her comment did make me reflect on my life though.  But in my heart, I don’t feel like I’m any different as a single girl now as I was as a single girl back in the day when we built our friendship. 

College BFF #2 told me she was concerned we were growing apart too.  That she was getting involved in her own pursuits and I seemed to have a new circle of friends I was hanging out with.  Now she has been busy pursing a new career, she’s an awesome photographer that I’d love to plug here but I can’t or I’d totally blow my secret identity, but as for my new circle of friends, unless she means boys I can’t say that I have a new “circle.”  I mean sure Gwyn and I have definitely expanded our relationship in recent months and I’ve been having some girls’ night outs that I wouldn’t have had otherwise but I still pretty much have the same circle of friends that I’ve had in recent years. 

Just so you know, these two particular girls, we’ve been through a lot in the last 15 or so years.  I totally believe this is just a growth period in our relationship and that all will come out well in the end.  I think knowing about this blog detailing my single girl exploits maybe is the biggest thing that has thrown them for a loop.  One has chosen to read the blog and one says she doesn’t intentionally.  We all three have very different ideas and expectations of sexuality and clearly a lot of this blog is about sex – LOL.  If I could go back in time, I would never have told them about it knowing what I know now.

Then there’s this girl who I’ve known for about 5-6 years now who is the very definition of my soul mate.  When she and I met it just clicked in an instant and though we are both busy and don’t talk nearly as much as we used to, she’s been by my side every step of the way.  We used to work together and she more than anyone else, witnessed the bit-by-bit deterioration of mine and Duckie’s relationship.  She was the one I vented to, the one who heard my frustrations on a daily basis, the one I detailed the collapse of our nonexistent sex life.  She was the only one who knew I had a crush on Sawyer and when exactly we crossed the line.  She’s the first one I cried to when I could finally verbalize the words that I wanted to divorce Duckie.  What can I say; she’s been on a hell of a ride with me.  Yet my relationship with her has been steady and strong.  Not one bit of change throughout the last few months.  It’s curious why some relationships have strengthened, some have weakened, and this one has remained steady and even.  Weird…

Writing that maybe that’s why it’s been hard for my college BFFs to adjust to this new reality for me.  I protected them from a lot of my relationship with Duckie.  Maybe on some level they feel like I spent a lot of time lying to them and maybe deep down inside, that unease at the fact that I’d withhold that kind of information is causing the rift.  Maybe if I’d been more open and honest with them all along we wouldn’t feel this separation today.  And that breaks my heart because in some weird twisted way I did feel like I was protecting everyone around me by not telling them all that was going on. 

Hell, maybe if I’d been more open and honest all along with everyone – friends, family, and even Duckie – maybe things would be very different in my life right now.  But that’s another post for another day…

I guess overall I’m just feeling perplexed as to why getting divorced would rock the boat of the friendships in your life.  Maybe you can give me a little perspective….


Human Burrito

So just a quick Crossfit update: I texted him yesterday afternoon to say hello and that started a brief texting flurry until he had to train a client. During the texting he asked me my plans for the night…..mentioned use of a hot tub….offered a back massage….tried to bribe me with wine…all to no avail. At this point it was almost 9:30pm and I wasn’t driving an hour on a week night to go and see him – eight pack or not. Miranda was very impressed with my willpower as she was urging me to hit the road!

After he got done with his last client he called me and again asked if I wanted to come visit (not using those exact words but being a little more subtle). I told him I wanted to but it just wasn’t in the cards for tonight, I was tired and already in bed. He seemed a little dejected at this news and basically said “Well ok if you’re not going to drive here then I guess I will just see you next week when I get back from my trip.” Again, not his exact words but you get the picture. He told me to have a great rest of my week and he’d call me as soon as he got back. I relayed all of this to my gay bff who told me not to be insulted but to let Crossfit know that I was WILLING to drive to see him it just wasn’t the best night – the gay bff has also advised against back-to-back dates. So, I sent him a text asking if I could come and see him tonight (Tuesday) instead. He told me sure but it would still have to be relatively late because he had clients until 9pm. At first I was very hesitant but then I remembered that he had to wait on me Sunday and I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t into him or that I always expected him to be the one to come to me. Long story short I’m going to see him in about five hours. He also told me to bring a bathing suit for the hot tub. That’s when I went into full panic mode.

A bathing suit? It’s only April and I’m pale as a ghost. I’m also not exactly in fighting shape – I’m not saying I’m a beached whale or anything but this is all relative to his nearly perfect body. I called Miranda and had her investigate this body wrap place near our work to see if I could get a last minute appointment. I’m getting wrapped like a sausage at 5pm today. I don’t know if it’s going to work but I figure the least it will do is firm me up. I considered a spray tan instead but that takes too long to dry and God knows I don’t want the hot tub water turning orange. This is by far the most trouble I’ve ever gone to for a guy, note to self. After my wrap, I’m going to go home and grab a quick shower then head to the gay bff’s boyfriend’s house so he can do my makeup again and remind me why I can’t sleep with Crossfit on the second date. If only my willpower was more consistent.

Truck Driver comes home today and wants to see me. I think I’m going to tell him I’m not feeling well and I’m going to bed early. I was going to hang out with him right after work (before I leave for my date) but the body wrap takes precedence over the microphone at this point.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Little Dose of Stalking

Something's happening here....what it is ain't exactly clear...but I think I'm being watched. I hardly got out of the car good tonight upon arriving home when what should happen? My phone rings with a strange number. I answered it b/c it was a Hawaii number and I've applied for some new jobs...you never know who could be calling. (You also never know who you have deleted from your cell, but they kept your number either...always a crapshoot.) Anyway, I answer and it's Gavin. He's calling me from a friend's phone b/c his battery is dead. He wants to know if I want to hang out. Um, not really...first of all, I don't want to "hang out" with him anymore. Fuck him, why yes I will, thank you...hang out...not so much. Second, I know how this thing with him and the gf goes...on today, off tomorrow. If I'm just fucking him, I could care less if they are on or off...irrelevant. If I'm "hanging out" with him, I might get a little pissy if they get back together tomorrow.  I asked about what was going on with that and he said he didn't want to talk about it. I vaguely declined seeing him tonight because I have a date. Chloe was hanging nearby and I couldn't say as much, but he got the message. Now to his credit, he hasn't shown up uninvited on my doorstep. I'm thankful for this because I told him last month before I even really considered moving in that if I did move over here, that would not be cool. When he was over last night, he asked which room could be his since he's getting kicked out next month. (Apparently, his gf's dog bit one of the neighbors.) I laughed and told him NONE of them...gawd, can you imagine??
Ok, back to the date tonight. Mr. Diver is in fact a deep sea diver with the Navy. He responded to a CL ad I put up last week. I think he's delicious, but we haven't talked much so I'm not sure how much we have in common. He's hot though and he's been here for 11 years with at least 4 more to go, so he's not deploying tomorrow or anything. I think he holds some promise. I also didn't mind giving up sex tonight with Gavin b/c Owen is coming tomorrow. Although, now I'm really paranoid about Gavin watching the house and seeing Owen. It's obvious he's got his eyes tuned in here. I love the convenience of fucking him, but maybe I should have let that sleeping dog lie.
Update: Mr. Diver had to reschedule. He got called into work tonight as he is apparently the diving supervisor on duty right now and one of his men had a medical issue. Alas...it was cool since I woke up at 4:44am today for no freaking apparent reason.

Monday, April 26, 2010

An Eight Pack AND Two Bottles of Wine

So last night was my first date with Crossfit. I got all purdy for him – wore a slightly form fitting (but not fancy) black dress with some cute wedges. My makeup, done by my gay glamour fairy, was perfect. Very natural (I usually don’t wear any) but definitely sexy. The only kink in my armor was a very attractive, cleat-mark shaped bruise on the outside of my upper thigh from my soccer game. Nobody’s perfect!

He came to pick me up about 7:15 and my roommate proceeded to interrogate him while I waited upstairs. My gay bff asked him a few questions as well and then came upstairs to get me. When he came up he gushed and gushed about how cute Crossfit was, how he shook his hand and introduced himself was and how I had hit the jackpot. That did nothing to help my nerves. I have dated some very attractive guys in the past but the body on this man is literally one of the best I’ve seen. Intimidating is an understatement. Anyways, my gay bff gave me $60 cash for emergencies (he’s sort of like my gay pimp) and escorted me downstairs. Crossfit was waiting for me looking all sexy and smiling. He was wearing jeans, a short sleeve button down shirt and some flip flops. Normally flip flops on a date would be a no-no but in this case I couldn’t care less! He gave me a hug and we said our farewells to my chaperones. He opened the car door for me and all doors from that point forward – thank God chivalry isn’t dead. It makes a girl feel special and helps us to remember why we spent all that time and money on making ourselves into sex goddesses.

We decided to eat at a place near my house. It took us at least 30 minutes to order our food because we couldn’t stop talking to each other long enough to look at the menu. Finally, after our poor waitress had come by five times we decided to get an appetizer so that she would leave us alone for awhile (his suggestion). We chatted about all kinds of things – music, family, sports, fitness, jobs, etc. He asked me lots of questions which was nice and the eye contact was perfect. He suggested I pick out two entrees that I liked and we would order those and share. When the food came he split it all up for me, it was so cute. He also gave me a quick lesson on how to get the tail meat out of the shrimp – encouraging me to use more tongue less teeth (to which I laughed out loud). Then I picked out a bottle of wine to go with the meal. We were having a really good time and I could tell through his body language that he was into me. When the bill came he paid with no hesitation and then asked me what I wanted to do next. You mean we get to hang out longer? I felt like a little schoolgirl I was so excited. He suggested coffee, dessert or more wine. Naturally, I voted more wine. So we went to the store and bought a bottle of wine and some plastic cups and went to a park to sit under the stars. It was really romantic and gave me lots of opportunities to touch his muscles. We talked and talked and talked. When he finally went in for the kiss it was perfect – he grabbed my face and pulled me into kiss him. And he was a great kisser. We did that for a bit longer. We snuggled up under a blanket. He kissed my neck and my ear (damned if he didn’t find my special spot on the first night!) and tickled my back. There was some heavy petting but all over-the-clothes and nothing involving his package. It was extremely hard for me to keep it PG after I felt his abs and those arms. All I can say is DAMN. I am a lucky girl.

It was getting late so we decided to call it a night – it was 12:30am and he still had an hour drive ahead of him not to mention we both had work in the morning. He drove me home and got out of the car to open my door. We stood outside the car talking for a second and then this sexy piece of man pressed me up against the car and starting kissing me again. It was HOT. He pressed himself all up against me and yes, he was certainly excited at this point. I didn’t get a direct feel but it definitely didn’t seem small.

I went to sleep a very happy camper last night. Crossfit has to go out of town from Wednesday to Sunday but told me I should come visit him before he leaves and he’ll take me out on his home turf. There’s definitely a second date in the works but I think I’m going to make him wait to see me until he gets back. Plus, I need some time to starve myself and work on my eight pack.

So.....with no further ado...introducing Crossfit. And, yes, this is really him:

Just another manic monday....

So just a quick post, us ladies have been blowing up the blog today! LOL!

I’m having a bit of a manic Monday to tell the truth. I obviously had a wonderful weekend with FJB and came in still riding that high. Then Motorcycle Man had some kind of temper tantrum that I’m still scratching my head over.

We’re Facebook friends and I noticed that some random redneck looking girl in a saloon girl shirt had put on his page “I had a great weekend babe. Thank you!” Now of course there’s no commitment here but I still thought that was a little weird considering he and I tried to schedule a date for this weekend but we couldn’t connect. And I fully know and admit that I totally blew him off on Saturday so I could see FJB with the good old “I have a friend coming to town” line but still. I felt irrationally jealous I admit.

He’s been teasing me for a while (maybe it’s not so teasing after all though) that I have a boyfriend because of my availability. And yes, some of my scheduling issues are working with other members of Team Miranda but the majority of my issues have to do with Leo and Ladybug. But in light on his teasing comments I texted him “Are you ignoring me? Hope you had a nice weekend with ------“ A short while later I got a text from him saying “No. You always have somewhere or someone else you need to be with.” We exchanged a couple text after that with me essentially saying he needed to remember it was him who had blown me off this weekend (technically true for our Sunday plans) and if he wanted to write me off it was his choice to do so. A little later he texted me saying he wanted to call me tonight to talk about our “relationship.” WTF! As a 45-year-old grown ass man, I think he needs to grow the fuck up. And if he did sleep with that skanky redneck in the saloon girl shirt, I’m so never going back to his thunder from down under. Not because he slept with her, hell I’d be the biggest hypocrite there is, but because of her level of skankiness.

I was supposed to meet up with Texas finally this weekend but I canceled on him partly because of FJB but also because he had a major family crisis going on and I thought it was best to delay. Long story short, he moved here to help take care of his sister who has some type of bone marrow cancer. Well Friday they found out the treatment had ravaged her heart and enlarged it to the point where she needs a transplant but because of the caner, she’s not eligible for a transplant. Yeah, I wasn’t thinking he’d be brining his A game while he was worrying about his sister dying sometime in the near future. We chatted for a while this morning and it just sounds so freaking sad and depressing. My heart goes out to his whole family right now. He heads back to Texas this week but says he will be up here quite frequently over the next couple of months to help his sister prepare to move to Texas so maybe we will eventually meet.

The High School crush starts texting me dirty messages saying he wants to have Gwyn together and me - LMFAO. On a wine fueled wine Wednesday, we took a very innocent picture and sent it to him. Must have got his juices going. I politely declined on our behalf, as we are pretty much full up on the man teams at the moment.

Then College Crush started blowing up my text too. Please note even after direct asking I still don’t have a picture of him. He’s so the Pillsbury Dough Boy. College Crush is skating a very fine line between potential and just friends.

And after a week of basically ignoring him, Sawyer popped back up on the radar and started emailing me saying he missed me, etc. I’ll save the Sawyer situation for another post but basically, I’ve been doing my best to not initiate any contact with him.

And I must give Duckie a shout out. After so many weeks of being a dick, he actually did something nice today. On the way to work apparently there was a huge crash on the highway we both travel and he texted me to say it was completely backed up and to go a different route. I was quite shocked at this friendly message. Sure hope he doesn’t think giving me traffic tips is going to change anything.

Sheesh all this and it’s only lunchtime!


It's Raining Men

Boys boys everywhere. I don’t know what to do with myself. Let me give you the latest man-team updates.

First, Army Boy is officially off the team. He got a DUI last Thursday, totaled his bike and ended up spending the night in the emergency room. I think it’s safe to say this little soldier has a drinking problem and I want nothing to do with it. I haven’t communicated with him at all since he told me about the DUI and I think he’s gotten the hint.

So that was Thursday…..on Friday I woke up to a message on Facebook from an old college fling. By old college fling I mean a guy I had sex with a few times, one of those times being while he was dating my friend. I hadn’t heard from him since we were about 21 or so and found it odd that he sent me a random message at 2:45am. I agreed to give him my phone number so we started texting. I found out why I hadn’t heard from him in awhile – he’s been in prison!!!! I didn’t ask details but he told me it was for ‘drugs and guns’. Now, don’t get me wrong I like guns and drugs just not when you throw the prison part in the mix. This guy, I’ll call him The Inmate, is now blowing up my phone. On Saturday night he sent me a voice file of some love song and told me to pretend it was him singing to me. Oh, I forgot to mention he is doing all this from the halfway house where he is staying.

Moving on to Saturday……..I did a charity walk in the morning, all the while receiving endless texts from The Inmate. Afterwards, I talked to Truck Driver who told me he was going to watch the basketball games with the guys but he wanted me to come over early in the AM on Sunday so we could hang out before my soccer game. And then it happened. I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize and something told me to answer it. It was The Barber. The Barber is my most recent ex - recent meaning I broke it off with him via text message about 3 weeks ago. To be completely honest, I am still in love with The Barber, like really in love. But that’s a totally different post. Long story short he came over Saturday night….we talked…..drank.....and had totally amazing sex as we always do. He stayed the night and when he left gave me money (because I told him I was broke) left my roommate a bag and told me he really enjoyed seeing me and talking. This could be big trouble. Something about this guy makes me crazy. After he left in the morning I called Truck Driver and went over to his apartment for breakfast. Hi..my name is Gwyn and I’m a slut.

Rounding out the weekend was a date with Crossfit. He called me on Friday and we made tentative plans for a Sunday night date depending on how I felt after my soccer game. I got busy Googling him to try and find out more and I came across his MySpace page, more importantly I came across his MySpace pictures. OMG. This man has one of the most ripped bodies I have ever seen. Needless to say, once I saw the pictures I started freaking out. I felt like I wanted to get up and start doing sit ups and push ups and eating lettuce. I’m a pretty girl and I have a nice figure but compared to Crossfit I felt like a troll. I started texting Miranda in a panic. She was encouraging me…telling me I’m a hottie…..that his hotness would only serve to elevate mine…etc. I kept telling her “No. You don’t understand. Wait until you see the pictures.” Well, I’ll let Miranda speak for herself but once she saw the pics I got a text message saying she was still picking her jaw up off the ground. Finally, she understood. Fast forward to Sunday after my game and I called Crossfit to set up our date. He would come to pick me up (he lives about an hour away) and we would go grab some dinner. Then the panic set in. Thankfully, in times of girly panic I have my gay bff to turn to. I told him to meet me at my house at 6pm to make me beautiful. This is a drag queen people – the things he can do with hair and makeup blow my mind. So gay bff came to my rescue and made me into a prettier version of my tomboy self. In the middle of the process my phone rang…it was The Barber just calling to say hi and tell me he had fun last night, etc. He asked me what I was doing and I told him getting ready to go get something to eat. Then he told me he wanted to give me some more money because he doesn’t like me being stressed. I told you this could be trouble. Back to Crossfit. I had my glamour fairy and my roommate meet him when he got to my house and I waited upstairs. When I came down I was so nervous I could hardly speak. He was super hot. Think eight pack, biceps, tattoos, square jaw and gorgeous eyes. Then we headed out for our date (I’ll post later today with date details, it was very very awesome).

When I got home from the date I had to text Truck Driver and The Barber, per their requests. I also had two missed calls from The Inmate. You know what they say, when it rains it pours.


The Kitty Has NO Conscience

Wow, the kitty is not behaving right now...yet I'm kind of digging it. Remember I told you guys on Tuesday about walking into Gavin's, getting some, and walking out? It really wasn't great, but the idea of hot neighbor sex is well, pretty hot. Yeah...it's ON. I was walking with my grandfather today and I saw his gf leaving. When I walked into the back door of my house approximately 2.5 minutes later, he'd left a message. I didn't call back since there was a very full house here this morning. He called again about 30 minutes later (as is his MO...he'll blow a phone up until you answer)...still couldn't talk and I missed that call because I was in the shower. So, I actually called him back tonight after I put Chloe to bed because I'd had some wine and the kitty was doing my thinking. He came over, we had some dirty hot sex right here at this computer desk watching porn, and then over on my bed. It was SO much better tonight than it was Tuesday. For starters, my blood alcohol level is at a pretty good level right now due to the family visit (we're all big drinkers). Secondly, I prefer night sex. Third, I've also decided that while I really don't particularly like him as a person...he's got a great big cock and it's just so damn convenient for the next 6 weeks...so, why not? There's something a little risky and fun about it too...much like playing with fire.

Marriage Is...

My grandparents who have been married for 58 years left today apparently feeling that their mission had failed. My grandparents came with an agenda. It was to "teach" us that marriage is hell. My grandmother actually said this sentence last night in context to something she told my cousin about being a military wife a few weeks ago. "Marriage is not meant to make you happy." - The Ya-Ya
ROFL...she's serious too. She told me that I'm not being sensible. My grandfather took me on a walk today and told me that a girl needs her father and that when Russell gets promoted, I should follow him because I can do my Masters program anywhere and Chloe needs her dad around. Yikes...
No other real news...Gavin called this morning repeatedly, but the fam was here so no playtime even if I'd wanted it. Owen is trying to line up Tuesday. If he doesn't pull this Tuesday out, he may have to be placed on restriction. I posted a new ad on CL this week...several promising leads from that. The top contender being a 45 year old South American guy who's divorced (wife and kids are back in SA) and he speaks limited English (could be super hot and frustrating all at once.).

Sunday, April 25, 2010

FJB Pulls In the Lead...

So many things to blog about, where to start and what to focus on. I’m gonna focus on my 2nd date with Fake Jewish Boy (FJB). We went out again last night and had the best time. We had planned to go eat and then go watch some amateur stock car racing. It was a different date to say the least but you gotta give FJB credit for coming up with something other than the traditional dinner/movie date.

Unfortunately the weather was not cooperating as much as we’d have liked. We got to the race and it was drizzling and walked up to the gates only to hear that they were cancelling the race due to the weather. As we walked, he very smoothly and sweetly took my hand. Girly sigh….I love holding hands. We checked out the stadium and stood in the drizzle for a few minutes sort of cuddled up some. Standing next to a tall guy is so freaking hot. I had intentionally not worn heels just to see the real difference in our heights. I’m 5’7 and he’s 6’3. Delicious to lean on a tall guy like that and fit right under his chin.

We headed back to his car and decided to check out a couple of local bars to play some pool and that weird bar game where you swing the hook and try to make it catch on the little peg. Strangest drinking game ever. I’ll admit he destroyed me in pool. I used to play a lot with one of my boyfriends in college and thought I was pretty decent. But FJB knows his way around the table. Playing pool gave us a chance to get in a few “casual” bumps into each other and some sexy little nudges. We hung out there for a while and then checked out a country bar right down the road.

Now if you’ve ever seen Urban Cowboy, this was just like Gilley’s bar in that movie right down to the mechanical bull. It was a blast. We stayed there for a while people watching, mullet counting, and just generally having a great time. It was getting a little later in the evening and we debated what to do next. FJB’s brother lives with him so going back to his place sounded less than appealing. I decided it was time to invite a boy back to my apartment.

I’ve pretty intentionally not invited anyone here because it’s my territory and gives me some weird sense of control to never invite them into my “inner sanctum.” But I was really digging FJB and decided he’d be the best one to infiltrate my personal space given the fun we’ve been having and because he does seem like such a genuinely nice guy. We headed back here and just lounged around on the couch for a while watching Saturday Night Live. Our comfort level with each other was definitely peaking and there was lots of snuggling and kissing.

Now FJB is a big guy. 6’3 of delicious well put together male. So lounging with him on the couch was quite a challenge to say the least. Eventually the kissing turned a little more serious and with my bed just a mere 15 feet away, we were both ready to get a little more comfortable. Now Gwyn and I have been discussing the whole “how long should you wait” thing before you sleep with a guy. If you’re just interested in having a good time, timeframe is not an issue. But if you’re trying to actually date someone, there are a lot of variables to consider before you do the deed.

Now as you can tell, I’m definitely feeling FJB. We are having a blast together and I was determined (with Gwyn’s encouragement) to not let it go to far. That being said, we were in my apartment, after having drank many beers, and getting ready to climb in my bed. This could have proved to be a lethal combination. I’m gonna tell you more details about what went down but let me preface it by saying that throughout the entire night I was repeatedly saying “no sex, no sex, no sex” in my mind.

We climbed under the covers and started kissing and cuddling. OMG he’s such a big guy. It feels so awesome to lay draped on his chest which his hands roamed over my back. I know I mentioned that his hands are huge but they are really huge. Like one hand can cover most of my back from one side to the other. And I can say from first hand (lol) experience, he’s big all over baby. All over! Hottttt! We kissed and played and let me tell you, those big hands know all the right places to hit (as does his tongue – lol). He so could have had me on my back in a heartbeat. It’s a good thing one of us had some self control, and I’m gonna admit, it sure wasn’t me. We kissed and played and cuddled for hours. We eventually feel asleep and he woke me up a few hours later playing all over again.

This morning we lay in bed dozing, kissing, and playing for several more hours. It was the best way I’ve ever been woken up in my entire life. It was definitely one of those “we did everything but” sort of experiences and it was amazing. I swear I’ve never had so many orgasms in such a short period of time. There really is something to this whole waiting to have sex thing! If it’s always going to be like this with us, I may just hold out for a couple months!

I like him enough that Team Miranda may be experiencing some very drastic cuts very soon. But I’ll save that for another post.


PS - Just had to add one more thing, a little insight into FJB. Two cool things about him that seem subtle but you ladies know these earn him big bonus points. 1 - As we walked to the racetrack, he noticed that I had changed the color of my nail polish on my toes. And this was a subtle change too girls, from a pale orange to a light brown. Good attention to detail huh? 2 - Also, as we walked he made sure to have me walk on the inside away from the cars driving on the road and he keep steering me around puddles and debris in the walkway. Nice to feel like someone's taking care of me for a change!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Mazel Tov !

So last night was my date with Fake Jewish Boy (FJB) and it rocked! I had a little trepidation about the date because even though we’ve talked a ridiculous amount in the last few days, I know he’s like a super smarty-pants and he comes across as super sarcastic. But I was still game because the online chemistry has been popping.

So after a mad dash shopping effort at lunch time, I headed home a wee bit early to freshen up and figure out what in the hell to wear. When he asked me out, FJB actually had a plan for the date, which earned him major points. We were meeting at a local mini-golf/arcade place to kill off the initial nerves and then we were heading out for dinner. So I had to figure out the whole how short of a skirt, how booby of a shirt can I wear combo that wouldn’t be totally revealing and slutty considering the venue. As I was trying on various outfits, who should call – the disappearing Lawyer Boy.

I haven’t said much about him lately because there really hasn’t been much to tell. He’s kind of been under the radar. Now I do cut him some slack because he’s got his little girl full time and he’s all wrapped up with studying for the bar exam. That being said, a girl does need at least a regular phone call now and again to keep up the excitement level. The first couple weeks we talked every day but over the last week and a half, that really dropped off. So anyways, earlier this week he’d mentioned us getting together this weekend and I really wanted to cause I’ve been practicing all sorts of ways to tell him how pretty his peen is. Well this lovely phone call was to tell me it looked like this weekend wouldn’t work after all but perhaps we could see each other next week.

This cancellation actually works to my favor a bit because I’m tentatively supposed to finally meet Texas in person during the day on Saturday and Motorcycle Man has been trying to get on my schedule for the weekend too. Honestly, I was a little bummed but at the same time I was literally standing half-naked getting dressed for a date with another guy and with all the other men in my life, a girl in my position just can’t feel too rejected these days. I hung up with him pretty quick because I still needed to get dressed and out the door for FJB’s super fun well planned date. FYI – I finally settled on the denim miniskirt, cute purple shirt with an extra button undone, and sexy wedge sandals combo.

We met and FJB was everything I’d hoped and more. He was exactly as tall as promised, 6’3 of delicious fake jewishness and way cuter in person than in his pics. He greeted me with a hug (which I really like) and a compliment (bonus point). He’d actually made some extra effort with his appearance and was dressed in nice dark jeans, a button down shirt, and real shoes – not sneakers or whatever. I was impressed to say the least.

We proceeded to play mini-golf and not to brag, but I almost obliterated him. I did have one bad hole but suckered him into letting me take a mulligan and I shot a hole in one the next time. We totally ended in a tie. Next up was a skee-ball tourney. Now if you haven’t ever played skee-ball, you are missing out. Used to love it as a kid, still do. This time I did obliterate him. He was a good sport about it though.

We headed off to dinner and drove our own cars, I mean we were pretty much just going across the street but still. It gave me a chance to send a quick “safety” text to Gwyn and let her know everything was going great so far. He told me when we got there that after we left the mini-golf place; he thought to himself, I hope she doesn’t drive off! HA!

We had a great dinner with lots of good conversation and lots of witty sarcasm. At one point, we got in a debate about the word “yall” and how it’s appropriately spelled. Being a southern girl (he’s from upstate NY) I was sure I was correct and vehemently defended my position that there’s not ‘in yall. We asked the waitress and sadly, she sided with FJB and said it was “y’all.” I still defended my position even after she brought by another waitress that agreed with the apostrophe version too. Next up FJB had the balls to poll the tables on either side of us about it and they all agreed with him! Grrr! LOL. I secretly conceded he may be right but I still maintain my right to spell it yall.

We sat there forever just talking and joking around. There was some sweet innocent hand grazing going on which was quite nice. Let me tell you he has the biggest hands I’ve ever seen in my life. At one point, we compared hands and my fingers only come up about halfway to the tips of his fingers. Hmmmm, given Gwyn’s penis post, big hands, tall,…. I may have a real winner in the penile region.

It was clear we weren’t ready to call it a night so FJB suggested we continue our date at a cool little bar in downtown. Now I was a little bit nervous because downtown is Lawyer Boy’s haunt but I figured oh well, if I run into him it will be a wake up call to him that if he wants to see me he better put forth a little more effort. I rode with him this time and we spent about another hour nursing a couple beers (I had tied on a major one with Gwyn the night before) and just talking. The bar was a great choice because it was semi-romantic and we had the chance to sit all close to each other because it was loud and stuff.

Now this anticipation period where everything is new and awkward in a good way is my fave time. The whole lingering glances, intense eye contact, getting that little thrill from leaning in close or a well-timed hand on the thigh. That’s just the deal. Eventually we did have to call it a night and he drove me back to my car. We sat there and talked for a few minutes and I was starting to wonder if I was getting the good night kiss or not when he leaned over and gave me a really sweet, classic first kiss. We both kind of just smiled and leaned back after that and he said he definitely thought we should go out again. I agreed and got ready to hop out of the car when he pulled me back over gently and gave me two more really nice, but very respectful kisses. He wasn’t trying to shove his tongue down my throat or anything, which was nice.

After I got home, I hopped online to check email and who popped up in my IM, none other than FJB. We chatted for about another hour. I’m feeling a little swoon coming on!

FJB is a strong contender. I think he may have bumped his way from not even officially on the team up to the VIP of the game. Keep your fingers crossed for me…..


Please Speak Directly Into The Microphone

I would like to dedicate today’s post to Truck Driver and his baby arm (aka penis for those of you who don’t get my slang). So Truck Driver isn’t a big guy, he’s about 5’10 and I’d say he wears about a size 34 pants – which are baggy on him – and neither his feet or hands are unusually large. Not that this is a secret, but us women are always trying to use context clues to figure out how big a guy’s package is. Either that or we just try to accidentally brush up against it. Judging by his height and size I just wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into.

The first night we hung out there was no physical contact. We were both sort of uncomfortable and I could tell he didn’t want to freak me out by trying anything smooth. Through some flirty texting after that night, I let him know that it was ok for him to make a move. We ended up doing the deed two Sundays ago at about 11am or so - he said he wanted to work me out before I went to my soccer game and of course I obliged. In fact the workout was so intense I skipped the game all together!

I had felt his man parts the night before but hadn’t seen it yet. I could tell it was big but it was dark and I didn’t touch it for very long. Well good Lord that thing was impressive. When he pulled it out of his pants (which he did like a ninja) I was actually a little frightened. Not so much by the length or width, The Ex had a beautiful and large penis so I am used to that. It was the fact that the head of it was bigger than the shaft and not just a little bigger but a lot bigger. I had never seen a penis like it and not to sound too slutty but I’ve seen my share of penises from a very diverse group of men. I was so dumbfounded that I drew a sketch of it and showed it to my best friend to see if she had seen one like this before. I was in luck, she had seen one but only one. It was a Greek guy she dated and she said she used to tell him he had a mushroom for a penis! I told her I wasn’t sure how I was going to fit the head of that monster in my mouth so she gave me a few tips…. don’t worry I managed and he LOVED it.

The first time we had sex was good, not amazing or great but really good. The second time it was great. The third time it was amazing. Every time since then it’s gotten better. And Truck Driver definitely has a freaky side which I LOVE. I don’t get down with the sensual, candles lit, music playing, slow love making crap. I like the rough, slap my ass pull my hair variety. He loves to talk dirty and each time he comes out with something a little dirtier than the last time. It’s really hot. His only downfall is that he almost instantly goes to sleep after we finish. And I mean instantly like within 5 minutes he’s snoring. I, on the other hand, have enough energy to run a marathon and want to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes! We’re working on that though. He’s started drinking Red Bulls before we do it – I’m serious.

Army Boy told me yesterday that he might be moving to another base seven and a half hours away, he would know for sure in the next day or so. He told me it's totally up to me to decide if I still want to meet him or not. This gives me the perfect escape...but Miranda thinks I should just meet him for the hell of it, mandals and all. I messaged back and forth with the personal trainer (his nickname shall be Crossfit) for a bit, in a wine induced haze, and his last message said “We should hang out so you can make me laugh some more.” I guess drunk me is pretty funny. I haven’t written him back yet. He also told me he can bench press me with one arm. Now that’s sexy.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I'll Bust A Cap In Your Ass. Please do!

The other day Miranda and I were discussing the members of our respective man-teams and realized something that they all (or almost all) have in common. They are all packing....in more ways than one.

First we have Motorcycle Man. On his first date with Miranda he said he had a concealed weapons permit and carried a gun with him at all times. She didn’t believe him. On the second date, once they arrived at MM’s house the first thing he did was pull his gun out of the console of his truck – along with the two empty beer cans he had guzzled on the way home. That was only the beginning. He then took Miranda on a gun tour and showed her all his weapons. Two are in the kitchen and two are in his bedroom, one of those underneath his pillow.

Next is Lawyer Boy. Who knew a metrosexual could have such a manly side? Think Miami Vice circa 2010. Miranda asked him if he had a gun and he replied “Yes, do you want to see it?” They went into the bedroom and as Miranda sat on the bed he started pulling them out from his closet. Being the gentleman that he is, he unloaded all of the guns before showing them to her and then asked her if she would like to touch them. She politely declined and finally asked him to put them away. No, she didn’t want him to put them away due to fear or intimidation. She was simply too turned on by them.

Our third contestant in the gun show is the High School Crush. Miranda only discovered his penchant for firearms by stalking his Facebook page. One morning at work I got an email with three pictures of her High School Crush holding a rifle at his family reunion. I literally laughed out loud. Another guy another gun. Who would have guessed?

Next in the lineup is Army Boy. Not only does he ‘shoot big guns’ for a living he also has an M4 - it’s like an M16 but smaller and ‘you can shoot either a single bullet or three bullets with one pull of the trigger.’ Three bullets with one pull…interesting.

Our final contestant in the gun show is The Barber. You haven’t heard about him yet but he is my most recent ex. I ended things with him just last week when things started up with Truck Driver. One evening when he was at my house we were in the kitchen and I was pushed up against him and felt a bulge in his pants. And this didn’t feel like the normal bulge I was used to. I asked him about it and he proceeded to pull a pistol out of his pants. He got me to hold it and then told me about 3 other guns he owned. All I can say is that after I saw that gun things got a little heated ;)

Now what you need to understand is that both Miranda and I are adamantly opposed to private gun ownership. Miranda is so opposed she wouldn’t even let Duckie bring a BB gun into their house. I fought with The Ex many times about him wanting a gun permit and told him as long as he lived with me there would be no guns.

So how did two peace-loving girls become so aroused by cold, hard steel? Honestly, we’re not completely sure how this transformation occurred. But something about a man standing in front of you and asking you if you want to touch his gun is just so naughty but also so oh so nice. Does anyone else get that tingly feeling in your naughty parts when a man pulls out his weapon?

Gwyn & Miranda

The New Girl - Part 2

Rounding out the squad are a few third-string players including a transplant from Spain with horrible grammar and a very cute personal trainer who jumps out of airplanes. At this point I am only in the messaging stage with these two. But, if things with Truck Driver don’t end up going well I’m calling in the subs.

The personal trainer has a super hot body and he plays soccer (I’m a soccer freak of sorts, still play every weekend and talk more crap than anybody on the field). Both score him points. I’ve never dated a trainer, though I’ve fantasized about my personal trainer more times than I can count, and I’m slightly intimidated at the thought of it. I’m in decent shape and workout a lot but I have also been known to consume an entire bag of Rolos in one sitting. His last message to me ended with “So, do have a busy week this week?” I’m guessing in the next message he’s going to ask me out. I don’t really know what I will say to that at this point. I’m down with dating different guys at the same time but once I get over 3 or 4 it gets to be more stressful than it is fun.

Plus, I could see myself really liking Truck Driver so I don’t want to get too caught up with anyone new until that situation sorts itself out. We hung out last night at his house and worked on his resume and a job application together (we also celebrated the 4/20 holiday of course…). He wants to get a job driving locally for FedEx and kept referencing how him having this job would be beneficial to me as well, which was weird but also sweet. One little bonus of helping him with the resume was that I found out how much money he currently makes – score another point for Truck Driver. The drama of the evening occurred when my ex started calling out of the blue, repeatedly. Truck Driver knows about the ex, and actually knows him, and was really cool about the whole ordeal. He even encouraged me to call him back, “I’ll be quiet” he said. I think my ex might have seen us out earlier in the evening, we had gone to run a few errands on his side of town. Anyways, I tried calling him back but got no answer. Spent the rest of the night lounging around with Truck Driver until I had to go home around midnight. I had a lot of fun with him and got to see more of his personality – he has a really silly side that I like. At one point he was belting out some Alicia Keys song at the top of his lungs. While we were out doing the errands (which included him buying me a happy meal, I know I’m a classy date) he gave money to a homeless guy and said to me “I just don’t understand how this happens in this country. We can’t forget about the unfortunate.” He was really serious about it too. It was cute. It’s nice to be able to talk to a man about more than sports, video games and cars. We will probably hang out again tonight and until then I’ll be sending him dirty texts from work. Now might be a good time to mention that the first time I saw Truck Driver’s man parts I was in complete shock. I’ve just never seen anything that looks quite like it. The only thing I can compare it to is a microphone - a big, veiny 9 inch microphone. My brain is now in dirty metaphor overload……

As for Army Boy, I agree that he needs to be cut. I just need to figure out the best way to do it. I think if I don’t text/call/respond for a day or two that should be that. And, of course, the classic de-friending on Facebook could do the trick.



A What? A Clusterfuck of a Day...

OMG today was just a weird, fucked up day. The universe is not right and if it is then I'm screwed b/c it hated me today. You guys know about the AM...no Owen, Gavin instead. Craziness...
Oh but the day got better (and by that I mean worse)after I got home from Gavin's. I cleaned the house in prep for guests and then decided to go on a run. As I was stretching, I get a text from Russell about his car not starting. I'm freaking about this because we're trying to move and buy furniture and stuff and we really don't have the money for car repairs right now...seriously. So, he calls AAA and they come out and tell him it's probably his key. Say what?? He texts me to ask if I can bring him my key (like right then). No, no I can't. I have to drive around the island a bazillion times today thanks to his crappy work schedule.
My afternoon went like this...took friend to airport, drove to Russell's car, my key worked, took him my key, went back to airport to pick up grandparents, drove home the loooong way to pick up Chloe, and then to the house.
In the midst of this, I get some crazy stupid texts from boys and some great ones with Miranda. Crazy stupid first...out of no where Mr. New Boy sends me this text. I had in no way, shape, or form attempted contact.
"We should have met sooner! Got back together with the ex. I'm off the market for now. :(" Really??? I replied with a "whatever...". Um, the reason we didn't meet sooner was b/c you were supposedly off the island. Ok, whatever...so over that BS.
Then, I get a gazillion texts from the guy I went out with that had the 4 kids asking what I thought was wrong with him. For starters, he just wasn't my "type". Secondly, he has 4 kids...omg, hello lot to deal with there.
The texts with Miranda were great though...I was complaining about the clusterfuck that was today. She agreed I'm in a funk and suggested I feng shui my room/house. I told her that Gavin's gf is ALL into that and that maybe I should call her to do it...hilarious convo followed. Can you guys imagine if I walked over and asked her to feng shui my house?? ROFL...still, hours later...he would absolutely shit his pants.
Mercury must be in retrograde...I don't know anything about how that rolls, but I hope it ends soon. I don't enjoy fucked (this way).

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Kitty Was Bad Today

Bad, bad, bad kitty...the brain knows better, but sometimes the kitty has a mind of her own. I got up this morning and went out on the porch to have breakfast with Russell before he went to see his boy toy and then onto work. As I'm sitting on the porch eating breakfast, I can see Gavin's house. I would like to point out before I go too much further into this tale that I know his gf was there this morning because I could see her. I'm not sure why I feel the need to point it out, as it does NOT make me look like a better person in this story...but I'll go for honesty at this stage in the game.
Russell leaves the house...Owen texts saying he doesn't know what's up today...he's not sure he can get away. I'm kind of pissed with him about this because hello, it's Tuesday. Tuesdays are Owen-Jules sex days. And then the phone rings and it's Gavin and I answer it...why, oh why? The kitty is bad, that's why. He asks if I want to come hang out. I reply "Um, where's your gf?. You know, because I saw her there like a nano second ago. I tell him that I guess so (as it seems she's working). I shower and do a few things around the house and he calls again to ask if I'm on the way. Dude, look out your back door? Do you see me? Does it look like I'm otw?? I know what he meant, but still...kind of funny question when he can see the answer to this very question. I told him I was taking the trash out and then I'd stop by. I have to walk by his house everytime I take the trash out or go get the mail...kind of awkward sometimes, sometimes not.
So, I took the trash out, walked onto his back porch, shot the shit for all of about 3 minutes, went inside, fucked him, got up, got dressed, and walked out the door. He's following me and talking as I'm leaving. I'm not sure if he wanted me to stay or what. I'm no longer interested in dating him with the clusterfuck that is his gf, so why would I stay to chat beyond the mission? Men are hilarious. I've got to say though that the sex was just ok...nothing near great and nothing close to what it was when I actually liked him. One of several things has happened. 1. I was sober at 11am today, which could be a big part of it. 2. I no longer really like him and I knew better than to be there. or 3. He wasn't really that good to begin with and I just overinflated it in my head. It could also be a combo of the three. At any rate, I think I got him out of my system this morning. Now that's not to say that should another sex drought come about, I won't trek back over...but I'm thinking I'm not missing much there.
The grandparents are visiting tonight until Sunday, so unless I have some good Russell stories...probably will be a quiet week.
PS Still no word since Friday from the potential new guy...I'm back to thinking that was a weird CL thing.

The New Girl

I’ve been following this blog for a few months now, ever since Miranda let me in on her gig. We work together and I’m glad to say that Miranda trusts me enough to share the details of her ‘secret life.’ Little did I know that we share some of the same secrets.

No, I’m not married and I’m not technically involved in any sort of infidelity. But that doesn’t mean I’m not mixed up in a whole bunch of crazy! I’m a 29-year old single professional girl, own my own home and car and have managed to take care of myself relatively well. Ok…ok…grandma still helps me out every now and again but who am I to stop her? (you can learn more about grandma if you click on the “Bling Bling Ya’ll” link under Miranda and Jules’ blogroll)

About two years ago I ended a 6-year relationship with the person I thought I was going to marry. If I were writing this blog back then, there would be much more infidelity to be discussed. Since the breakup I’ve entered the dating world and, most recently, the online dating world. I became intrigued after hearing Miranda talk about all of her escapades and decided to set myself up a profile. That was about 6 weeks ago. My man roster is not as extensive as Miranda’s (I’m not as nice as she is either) but it is no less interesting.

The point guard of my man-team is Truck Driver. I met him online about a week and a half ago. Funny thing is we went to the same elementary and middle school (which neither of us realized until we talked in person the first time) and he lives about 2 miles from my house. We have some of the same friends, including my ex. Lucky me. He drives an 18-wheeler up and down the east coast and gets paid pretty well. No kids. No ex-wife. No bald spots or beer belly. No criminal record. Has a car (a Lexus at that). Has his own apartment with real furniture and a matching bedroom set. Things have been going pretty well so far, we’ve seen each other every day he has been home. I’m not going to get my hopes up too much though because I tend to be attracted to playboys and I’m not convinced I haven’t found myself another one. Only time will tell. But, for now, Truck Driver and his big ol’ package are keeping me very satisfied.

Heading up the second string is Army Boy. He’s 34 and ‘shoots big guns’ for a living (on a side note, Miranda and I are currently planning a joint post on the topic of guns and why we hate them but love the men that carry them…). He has an 11-year old son and an ex-wife. He rides a Harley and lives about 2 hours away. I’m not really sure how into him I am but I like the attention and I guess I’m a sucker for a man in uniform. And the pics he gave me of him in a suit are HOT. The pics of him in cargo jean shorts, a wife beater and mandals – not so hot. The main reason I’m not sure about this guy are (1) he is only 5’7 and I’m getting the feeling he may have short-man syndrome (2) he served in Iraq for over a year and has only been back about 4 months – my grandpa was a Green Beret and he is still not right after being out of Vietnam for decades (3) he seems like he may be the possessive type (4) he got into a bar brawl last week – on a freaking Thursday night – which involved breaking bottles and bleeding heads and (5) I’m pretty sure he is a northern redneck judging mainly by the pictures I saw of his mom’s wedding – one showed a handmade cardboard sign with “Smoking only allowed outside” scribbled in Sharpee and hung on the wall of the barn where the wedding reception was held. Well, now that I write it all out like that I am seeing some major red flags. Note to self.

Since this post is already longer than I anticipated, I’m going to hold off on revealing the rest of my roster. I have to give you something to look forward to right? Thanks to Miranda and Jules for letting me be a guest blogger. I hope I live up to your expectations!


Monday, April 19, 2010

Duckie is Still An Ass - Part 4

So I knew me going to Hawaii would be an issue for Duckie. I emailed him a very polite request talking about day camp for Leo this summer with an “oh by the way” note I’ll be on vacation this one week and asking if he could keep the kids an extra night or two. I figured it was just a matter of time before he’d want to know where I was going exactly.

I got an email back asking me to call him. So I sucked it up and called him tonight. He wanted to know where I was going and I coyly said I was just taking a little trip. He persisted in asking where I was going so I said casually I was going to go see Jules. After a moment, he said isn’t that you friend in Hawaii? LOL. I said yes and I could see the steam coming out of his ears through the phone.

He asked how I could afford the trip since money was so tight. Which I am being careful but the truth is I have more disposable income now than I did living with him. Weird I know but that’s how the money is working out. Of course all the boys subsidizing my dining out income/drinking income could be helping! HA! I could tell he was spoiling for a fight so I cleverly played the game of technically telling the truth while omitting the reality. I told him I had found a great price (true) and my mom had offered to pay for me to go (which is technically true though I told her no way). He stammered a “what, that’s crazy, etc.”

I quickly tried to get off the phone after that because that was clearly for the best. He’s such a fucking loser! I don’t ask him what he’s doing with the freaking alimony I’m paying him each month. If he wants to use it for toilet paper to wipe his whiney ass that’s his choice. If I reacted the way I wanted to, my true nature, I would have told him it was none of his fucking business. But I’m still trying to play nice until the divorce is final or he causes me to have an aneurysm. Lord, please send Duckie some foolish girl who he will immediately fall in love with and then he’ll be her problem.


A Call for Action

I'm bored...I've been in a funk...I need to get out of it. I've only seen Owen once this month, but he's on the schedule for tomorrow. We both have a lot of stuff coming up though with company and his 3 week vacation. I'm really hoping my version of Texas makes his way back out this summer, but that's months away. I'm so not wanting to go there with Damien. Gavin called me Friday night to say that he thinks about me "quite often", but honestly I think that's asking for trouble in a big time way. I need some fresh meat. My new boy toy was supposed to get back onto this island last night. I haven't heard from him yet today though, although to his credit I think he's just worked that last 2 weeks straight. Anyway, it's time to find a new one that is single, straight, and employed...all of which seems a tall order on this rock.

Hawaii Bound!

Just had to share - I just booked my tickets to fly out and see Jules at the end of June. Hawaii may never be the same!


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Oh Vey

So there’s a potential new boy on the Miranda team. He who shall be known as Faux-Jew Boy. Why this distinction? Well his first, middle, and last name are very Jewish. Btu in conversation last night, he revealed that he grew up in a pretty traditional church. Weird. Maybe his dad’s Jewish? Sounds like his parents aren’t together anymore but I didn’t get that far in to specifics with him.

We had been exchanging emails here and there through Pof but nothing was progressing past that point then out of the blue he emailed me the other day and asked for my number and suggested we meet. I said I was up for it and gave him the digits. Nothing. Like 3-4 days went by with no text or call so I just figured whatever. Then yesterday as I was pulling into church, yes despite all my sinful ways I do attend church on a fairly regular basis LOL, he texted me asking if I wanted to go to a baseball game in an hour. Yes, in exactly one hour from the time he texted me.

I was perplexed. I wanted to go but at the same time there’s the whole not appearing “too available” thing. Plus I had Ladybug with me so I would have had to drop her off at my mom’s and all that combined made me turn him down. We texted each other like two times and then he disappeared again! At this point I was really thinking I was his “back up plan” and whatever girl he was supposed to have gone with had dumped him at the last minute. Whatever.

About 9:30 I got online and immediately he sent me an IM. Lord! How did we ever get along without IM in the past! We started chatting and before I knew it three hours had past. We actually had a great conversation. It honestly started out a little awkward but very quickly we got into the groove. He’s a mechanical engineer who has TWO patents. LOL. I actually googled him, he didn’t volunteer the patent information. Still pretty cool. Not everyone is creative enough to invent something and get a patent. He’s a year younger than me and a relatively recent transplant from the north.

We had some great banter and he’s clearly a big time smart ass which I like as long as he knows when to cut it out. He wrapped up the conversation by asking me out for this week, which I accepted. I had thought my team was full but he wormed his way in there. We’ll see if he’s worthy in a few days LOL.

Incidentially, I was a little disappointed he wasn’t Jewish. If he had been, I’d have the dating trifecta – a redneck, a metrosexual, and a Jew. Oh well! One interesting thing, my four big hitters (Motorcycle Man, Lawyer Boy, Faux Jew Boy, and Texas) all have one thing in common – they all have or either have had motorcycles. Random thing to all have in common. Maybe I’m meant to be a biker chick?


Saturday, April 17, 2010

A Taste of the Country Life

So I spent a lovely country evening with Motorcycle Man last night. We went riding for a while and then hit up the local grocery store to get some food for dinner. He was grilling out for me. The bike ride was awesome. Nothing like riding on the back of a motorcycle with a hot guy. He’s going to take me on a long ride soon up to the mountains. I can’t wait for that. It’s going to be so beautiful.

At the grocery store, we were cracking up and being obnoxious and people kept staring at us. Hopefully they were looking at us with envy for seeming like such a cool, fun couple, not because they were thinking look at that young girl with that old man. LOL. Then we headed back to his house and just hung out drinking some beers while he cooked. Guys should so cook for girls more often. It’s hot!

Afterwards we had a very tame evening mostly because I had to pick up the kids in the morning and didn’t want to be hung-over while on mom duty for a change. We were lying on the overly man-sized couch watching a movie when I looked over and he was passed out asleep. It cracked me up. Guess he needed some extra rest to keep up with me. LOL. I was nice and let him sleep. I kept trying to take a picture to send to my girl here but my stupid camera wouldn’t take a good one. Guess it was too dark in there plus every time it snapped a photo is would make a noise and then he’d wake up a little. It entertained me for a good 15 minutes doing that.

After the movie we called it a night and went to bed – actually to sleep. At first I was kind of bummed with the lack of booty but then I realized that thankfully delaying the booty was good because it kept my 24 hour rule in effect. With all these boys, I’m trying to delay any cross contamination in the nether region within a 24 hour period. Since I had seen Sawyer that morning, bumping uglies with Motorcycle Man would have been a big violation. We did kiss and cuddle which was very nice. His kissing has improved a lot since last time! Maybe he’s just following my lead more but it was greatly improved.

I must say it was nice to get a full night of sleep after so many sleepless weekends. We did wake up and have a little one-on-one time this morning which was verrrrrrrry nice. It wasn’t the sexual Olympics that it was last time but it was a great way to start the day and a full 24 hours after Sawyer so my rule stayed in effect!

Afterwards I got up and took a shower so I could be presentable to get the kids and see Duckie. Motorcycle Man lounged around and I got a very good examination of his “thunder from down under.” It is BIG! Wow! That’s all I can say about that. I still didn’t let that thing get anywhere near my mouth. Don’t know that I’m ready for that! LOL!

It’s really fun and easy to be with Motorcycle Man. No games, no playing around. What you see is what you get with him, and that’s really nice for a change. I feel like I can be totally myself with him. I do like him, a lot but I’m honestly having a hard time imagining him being around my family. Not that they wouldn’t like him, he’s just very different from them and I do think it would freak them out a little for me to be dating someone 12 years older than me. Though I’m a grown ass woman who I don’t know what that would matter. I can see myself seamlessly blending into his life, not so sure if that will work in reverse though. His lifestyle is one that I’ve always liked; very similar to lots of my friends’ lives and the people I’ve hung out with over the years.

Par for the course, last night while I was with Motorcycle Man my College Crush was blowing up my cell phone. And sadly, Lawyer Boy has been quiet for a few days but I know he’s busy and he has his kid this weekend so…. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed there.