Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Well I’m all moved in! Friday I spent the day packing and moving small stuff over to the house. That evening, Kansas came over to put in my new door locks and hang curtain rods for me. When he got there my mom and sister were still there so they got a sneak peek at him. He did his handyman stuff and then we just hung out and drank a few beers and talked a bunch. Kansas had asked about doing something that night but I’d already made plans with the girls for a party girl night so I had to decline which made me feel oddly guilty.

After he left I raced to the apartment to throw myself together so I could give my hot new red cowboy boots their first night on the town. What followed was a ton of fun dancing and general crazy girl antics and Imaginary Baby Daddy sweating me hard. It was a very near miss that night with him.  He's been texting me a lot lately and the next day during the day he blew up my phone talking about how hot I was that night.

Saturday I drug myself out of bed, cursed myself for drinking so much, and then started what was the longest morning of my life with moving. Fortunately, me and my sister had got a fair amount done the day before so it could have been a lot worse. It was very strange to have almost the exact same crew of people who moved me into the apartment – Josie, Dave, Sawyer, my sister in law – moving me out of the apartment. Towards the end of emptying out the apartment I got strangely sentimental about leaving it. I guess because it was my first real place that was just mine and because it was my “refuge.”

Moving in went super smooth too and I just kept looking around being shocked that this was really my house. I really love it! After everyone had left, Kansas came back over to help me with some unpacking and he brought me a bottle of my favorite wine, cheese/crackers, and a beautiful huge collage picture frame. I was shocked to say the least. After the unpacking we lay on the couch and watched a movie and I drank the whole bottle of wine in celebration of my move lol.

We got in bed and he was trying very hard to be good and frankly, I was done with withholding lol. Kansas said he didn’t want me to do anything I’d regret the next day since I’d be drinking (if he only knew lol) and I assured him that I knew what I was doing. He hesitated again and said he didn’t have condoms with him because he knew I’d said I wanted to wait. I told him I had some and he asked what kind. I was like duh regular condoms and he kindly let me know they wouldn’t work. In my slightly addled state I didn’t pick up on that and he somewhat embarrassedly said he’d need a magnum! Holy lucky stars!

We made out a while longer and I told him I couldn’t get pregnant (thank you Mirena) and we held out about as long as we humanly could and then we sealed the deal. And OMG – he’s big. Like big big. Like whoa. He’s so big he could feel my IUD (and now I have an appointment on Friday to get the “string” thing attached to it cut shorter lol). It was fantastic.

Sunday we spent the day lounging around and then he took me TV shopping where I proceeded to buy a big ass TV, it was just too good of a deal to resist. Later he bought me dinner and a stand for the TV and we just lay on the couch talking and laughing and picking on each other. Oh and then I negotiated a deal between him and Gwyn for him to buy her TV here in storage. HA! I Skyped with her last night and told her he’s like a combination of her and McDreamy hahahaha!

This is such an interesting relationship. So different from what I usually fall in to. It’s got all the good stuff from a relationship without any of the drama or me going off the deep end. Like I like him and I’m very intrigued by him and for a change I’m totally letting he lead the way. It’s just different.

Sunday night I was harassing him about when his birthday was and he wouldn’t’ tell me for the longest time. Genius that I am finally figured out I could look it up on Facebook and wouldn’t you know it, his birthday is next week. So now I have to figure out what to do about that. I’m thinking playing it low key and just cooking him dinner or something. Kansas told me he hasn’t had a home cooked meal in like 5 year s lol. That’s pretty sad. Anyone got any bright ideas?


TMI Tuesday - Touchdown!

Super Bowl Sunday Celebration

(or any sports party)
Even if their team is not going to the Super Bowl, millions of people love an excuse to party. So party we will. Tell us what your ideal Super Bowl Celebration (or any sports party) looks like by answering:
What’s your favorite _____ that you’ll serve at the party (name one item for each):
a. choice of beer 
Corona - Jules
Landshark - Miranda 
Whatever is on sale - Gwyn
b. choice of wine
White is my favorite...I love a good Chardonnay, though I usually drink Mama's Big Bottle b/c it comes in the quantity in which wine is consumed around here. - Jules
Any kind of white is fine with me. - Miranda
What kind of sports party involves wine? -Gwyn 
c. choice of distilled spirit
Pass - that means puking. - Jules
Crown - Miranda
Vodka - Gwyn 
d. choice of mixed drink
Margaritas! - Jules
Margaritas! - Miranda
Vodka cranberry. Are you gals planning a mexican fiesta or a super bowl party? -Gwyn
e. choice of chip
I love a baked lays or a tortilla chip (esp. the blue ones!). - Jules
Again ditto to what Jules said - Miranda
OMG ladies do you actually watch sports?!?!? We need doritos, cheetos, ruffles with french onion dip, cheese puffs....none of that healthy crap! You need real food to soak up all the booze (taste isn't important you'll be too drunk to notice!), I thought you guys were professionals!!! -Gwyn 
f. choice of dip
My mama's crab dip...omg yum. - Jules
Good old spicy salsa - Miranda
BLT dip and french onion dip. Jules - You definitely missed your calling as the hostess with the mostess. Only you would bring wine, baked lays and crap dip to a super bowl party. This is cracking me up. -Gwyn
g. choice of take-out food (pizza, burgers, Chinese food, wings, etc)
Pizza! - Jules
Pizza, quit stealing my answers Jules! - Miranda
Wings and lots of ranch. -Gwyn 
h. choice of homemade food
Hmmm, I don't know. I really don't go to sports parties. What else is there to eat?? - Jules
Sausage rolls or pigs in a blanket - Miranda
Something that's easy to throw on the grill or can be prepared while intoxicated. Do hot dogs count as 'homemade'? -Gwyn 
i. choice of salty food
The aforementioned chips - Jules
Baked lays ripple chips are a weakness - Miranda
OMG not the baked lays again!!! You guys can just lick the salt off the rims of your margaritas and leave the baked lays at home!!! -Gwyn 
j. choice of sweet food 
Chocolate Chip Cookies! - Jules
These questions are exhausting me - Miranda
What ladies, no fruit plates? They would go perfectly with your mexican-high brow-healthy super bowl party menu ;) -Gwyn  
2. What will you wear at the party? 
I am not planning on attending a SB party this year. I plan to be on a beach. ;) -Jules
I imagine jeans and a sweater. I don't own sports jerseys. And actually I pretty much hate football. - Miranda
I think I'm the only one of the group that is qualified to answer these questions. You two are fired. -Gwyn  
3. You will be having your very own half time show at the football party. What is that half-time show? Briefly describe. 
Is this a question making me pretend like I'm at the game or something? If so, pass. If it's my own half time show at home, let me assure you that it would involve stripping and sex. Last year, Gavin and I went to a party and then came home and fucked like bunnies during the final moments of the game...that was HOT. -Jules
If I'm pretending. It would involved Kansas scooping me up off my feet and giving me the what fore with his big you know what.  - Miranda
I would be too drunk by halftime to complete any sort of performance. I like to hit people and pee in strange places when I'm drunk. Use your imaginations. -Gwyn 
4. What team do you wish was playing in the Super Bowl? 
I could honestly give a crap.  - Jules
I wish it was Basketball instead - Duke basketball specifically. - Miranda
Jesus ladies!!!!! Jules you could at least pretend to like the team that your future second husband plays for - Atlanta! And Miranda what about the Panthers? Ya'll are really killing me!!! For me, the Patriots and the Panthers are my favorite teams so I'm super excited to watch 3 hours of Mr. Brady!!! -Gwyn 
5. The NY Giants and New England Patriots are in Super Bowl 2012, who do you want to win?  (ummm…yeah, I had to google that info…LOL) 
Again, I got nothing....no opinion what so ever. - Jules
I could not care less. - Miranda
PATRIOTS!!!! McDreamy will be pulling for the Giants so it's going to be an interesting day. Jules and Miranda - does the fact that Tom Brady is arguably one of the hottest men on the planet not tempt you to even check it out???? -Gwyn  
BonusHave you ever made a football (or Super Bowl) bet that involved sex? Tell us about your own Super Bowl of Sex. 
No, but I kinda like the idea of that. Of course that would mean I had to pay some attention, but I guess I could just Google it after...lol. - Jules
I've probably watched the super bowl once and even then I didn't pay attention. - Miranda
I've never made a bet about sex in my life - if you're a girl there's really not much in it for you lol we can get it whenever we want it :) As for my 'superbowl of sex', I don't think I've ever done anything that would fit that description - I've had sex for 3 hours before but that was in my younger days. I guess you could say I'm retired from the league. -Gwyn 
Bonus BonusWill you watch the Super Bowl? Do you even care about the Super Bowl? American football at all? What’s your can’t live without sport? 
Nope, Nope, Nope, and surfing is my favorite b/c the boys are half naked and HOT. - Jules
I might watch it if my boss has a party or if Kansas wants to watch it.  Otherwise I'll be contently watching something else.  College basketball is my sport. Could watch that all day. - Miranda
Probably a bar or at McDreamy's friend's house, not sure yet. Yes I care about the super bowl!!!! Pro football is probably my favorite sport to watch overall, although I'd change the channel in a hot second to catch a Duke men's basketball game. I'm a tomboy and I love all sports. I definitely couldn't live without being able to play soccer but as far as watching sports I'd say it's a tie between football and basketball.  -Gwyn 
Thanks to Virtual Sin for this week’s TMI Tuesday theme and help with the questions.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Planning Ahead for V-Day!

Ola lovers!  Miranda is in love – with her new house. And she’s in like with Kansas. But this post is not about him. Well not entirely.  Because tonight as we hung out it filtered through my mind that as great as he’s been with buying me things, this Valentine’s Day very well may rock!  And because we crossed the sex threshold this weekend (details to come but let me say OMG hello magnums) this could be a very sexy Valentine’s Day!

And in that vein of thought, I thought about maybe buying some sexy lingerie to debut for Kansas on V-Day.  Eden Fantasies – our favorite sex toy shop – is having a rocking Valentine’s Day sale! Right now depending on what you buy you get all sorts of discounts! 

And they have a great clearance sale going on on top of that.  You need to be sure you register on the site to receive them email newsletter so you can stay on top of great deals like the Valentine’s Day sale.

And while I’m certainly not the sex toy connoisseur Jules is, I have to say I find Eden Fantasies to have the best array of items and the easiest navigation.  They even have great reviews and videos of the items too.

I always thought the best Valentine’s presents would be a combination of a little romantic, a little naughty, and a whole lot of sexy.  Be sure to check out Eden Fantasies today and take advantage of those discounts! They are good through February 10!


Sunday, January 29, 2012

Cougar Town

Well it was an interesting Saturday here with Jules not wasting a second of time whoring it up! It started off with me waking up to texts from Owen saying that he was headed this way and wondered if we could see each other. We could and we did! He has been sexting with me for days and days and we had some pent up sexual energy! His kids have been sick and he's been Dr. Dad since he's not working full time right now. He found out this week that he has to have surgery on his shoulder soon too...boo. He made it seem like no big deal though, I guess it just means I'll be on top for a while. ;) 

I spent a great day with Chloe hanging out doing Mommy stuff. We shell hunted, hiked, sat on the beach, read, shopped, and shared an acai bowl. It was a fun day with my girl! When we came home from our day, she headed over to her bff's house for a sleepover. Here's where it gets interesting. I mean morning sex with Owen was interesting, but he's become the norm...lol. 

I was emailing and texting with a guy I'd met on CL that seems like he might not be a total nut job or super boring like the other 2. He's divorced, but actually still lives with his ex for financial reasons until she can afford to move back to the mainland, so my situation didn't freak him out. He's super cute, witty, and seems like fun. Russell had come home with a bunch of people from work and we were hanging out on the porch drinking copious amounts of wine and beer. This new guy texted me good night and said he was going to sleep. All of a sudden, I turn around and there is a guy standing beside me that isn't one of the people that Russell brought over. It scared the shit out of me. I was like 'who are you and where did you come from???'. It turns out he's our neighbor that lives behind us and he said it sounded like we were having a super fun time and he wanted to come over. Um, ok. 

We'll call him Alabama or AL for short. AL is a super cute blond boy with this hilarious deep Southern accent. He's 22 or 23 (there remains some discussion about that...I thought 23, but Gwyn says 22!) and in the military. The rest of the night is a bit foggy, but I know there was way more drinking, some smoking, and mentioning by him of wanting to sleep with me. He lives in a duplex that I'd looked at before moving here to this house and he was talking about his California King bed. I said there was no way in the world he had a CA King in one of those rooms...so he invited us over to look at it. Next thing I know, Russell, Gwyn, AL, and I are all piled onto his bed. We hung out talking for a while and learned he has a 20 something month old baby. Eventually, they decided it was time to leave and I left with them b/c I knew if I stayed I would have ended up having sex with him. 

We get home and we're cooking a frozen pizza in the kitchen talking about him and something sparked me calling his name and he promptly came right back over. He ate with us and then everyone went to bed after a while (it was like 2am at this point). He stayed curled on the couch with me rubbing my legs and asked if he could spend the night. I said ok, but he had to leave super early before Chloe came home. He said no problem and we went to bed. I got into bed and told him I don't sleep with clothes on and then it was on. We fucked for a while and surprisingly it was pretty good. He made me cum a lot, but he's not huge. I'm so used to Owen's super big cock that I'm spoiled! Anyway, it was good and after he came we slept for a few hours. I woke up at 6:30am to him rubbing my ass and pressing against me. It seems he was ready for round 2. I complied, although at this point the hangover had set in. After this time, I told him he should probably go home. I proceeded to spend the next 5 hours getting sick and napping on and off. 

I feel like crap today b/c of all the wine. I also feel a little bad about sleeping with someone so damn young! I told my girlfriends that I have clothes almost as old as he is! Gwyn says I have to stop sleeping with the neighbors or I'll ruin our reputation as the "normal house". I woke up this morning to our house looking like a frat house...beer bottles, caps, glasses, cooler, chairs were everywhere. Chloe was walking up the steps after I finally managed to pull myself from the bed to take her to the farmer's market and she said "Wow, you guys really trashed this place up last night"...if only she knew...hahaha. Russell was very curious about whether I'd slept with him and how it was. I think he has a little crush on AL too. Me thinks we are definitely NOT the "normal house". 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

No More Ms. Nice Girl

Yesterday the gloves finally came off and I told off Coach via Facebook to the extent that he yet again pulled his account down. If, and when, he re-enacts it, I’m blocking him. I’m so done with his constant “I’ve changed” and “Give me another chance” emails through it.

I’ve pretty much ignored him in large part maybe answering only 1 in 5 emails but earlier this week I think the stress and fatigue of moving/work made my nice girl veneer crack and I started throwing back barbs at him trying to push him away. He was pretty quite after my statement that he had to win back Gwyn and Jules before I’d even consider giving him another shot until the last two days.

Monday he was emailing and emailing me and I was ignoring him but it got under my skin after a while. Kansas was meeting me over at my house after work so he could paint my bedroom for me while I finished the bathroom and I kept getting Coach’s emails to my phone. I finally just turned it off. A rarity for me lol.

Side note – while we were painting my brother in law came over to put my tile backsplash up and Kansas was right out there chatting him up. So much for him not wanting to meet my family haha. Then I said I was cold and went to put on my sweatshirt and he insisted I put on his so mine wouldn’t get paint on it. And while he was painting my bedroom, he kept complaining about certain spots on the wall that weren’t perfect because of repairs to nail holes. He kept saying “we” were going to have to just bite the bullet down the road and fix those pieces of drywall hahaha. I kept laughing at him.

So then Tuesday morning, I had an email via Facebook from Coach that said “Hey Honey.” I ignored it but it ate at my already worn down psyche all day. Finally in the afternoon I responded that he didn’t get to call me that anymore. He sent back a stupid reply about how he’s trying so hard and all I’m giving back is being short with him and how he’s been thinking of what to say to my mom or Gwyn and that more than anything he just wants what we had but he’s starting to think that’s not what I want.

I kind of lost it lol and sent back about 10 replies ranging from leave me alone you’re causing me too much stress to nothing’s changed because every time you go drinking you get wasted and start drunk texting me to stop trying to worm your way back into my life because it’s not happening. I wrapped up my rant with this, “You’re right, I don’t want what we had. I want what I thought I was getting into in the first place back before I knew you were going to lie to me over and over and over again.”

Strangely that line didn’t get to him as much as the “worming” line. He sent back an OMG I can’t believe you said that type of response and said he’d leave me alone. Then he deactivated his account. I would like to hope that it’s for good but I seriously doubt that. He barely lasted a week last time he did. But I will immediately block him if he reactivates it.

Back to Kansas, last night I ran a bunch of errands after work for the house and was texting with him when I was back home. He was fretting that I’m not taking care of myself and I’m wearing myself out lol. He kept telling me to take it easy and relax and remember that he could help me out in the weeks ahead. He also told me not to buy a drill because he was going to buy one and he’d take care of putting in my new door locks and hanging my curtain rods. I mean really. For a guy who says he’s not looking for anything serious he sure is throwing in some boyfriend-type moves. And this Saturday he and I will have been talking/dating for a month. And no sex! It’s a record for me!

Let’s hope I have enough energy to get me through the actual move on Saturday because I have a feeling I’ll be spending all Sunday in bed – with or without Kansas!


Monday, January 23, 2012

I Started It, But GD That's Some Crazy...

Wow, some serious fucking crazy ensued here this weekend. It's been enough to make me wonder if anyone is normal anymore. So, I blogged about my crazy week and then Thursday night I put up a CL ad looking for a new guy b/c I'm over POF and I'm not paying for a dating site. Of course this sparked some crazy replies b/c it is CL after all, but it also sparked some potential good ones as well. I put the ad up because I realized it had been over 2 months since the whole thing with Gavin and that I really needed to move on and usually moving on for me means meeting a new guy.

Friday morning, I wake up to a reply to my ad from Damien and a follow up email from him totally blasting me for putting up an ad and calling it a total slap in the face to him and how hurt he was, etc. Then, he calls me about 7am and rails against it for about 5 minutes as I'm brushing my teeth during his phone call. He demanded that I take it down and I said I probably would that night. He hung up and starts texting me ALL day about it. He keeps demanding that I remove it, demanding to know why I put it up in the first place, on and on and on to the point that I finally yelled at him and told him that this was one of the MANY reasons why I would never be with him b/c he was driving me batshit fucking crazy. He knows what time I leave practicum and as soon as he thought I was out, he starts texting and calling me again about it. I told him I was busy until late that night and he accuses me of going out with someone I'd met on there. I told him to fuck off that I was going to dinner with a gf of mine. I was pissed at this point...pissed.

So I did get some promising replies and I'm still emailing a few of the guys, but I started emailing and texting pretty heavy with a guy that afternoon/evening. It ended with him begging me to meet him out on the beach after dinner with my gf.  I made him drive up here and we went to a beach that isn't all that secluded just in case he was crazy. It was stupid on my part, but he seemed totally normal. Again, I know it was insane...judge away. So we meet up and I'd told him 83 ways to Sunday that I wasn't just looking for anything serious, but that I also wasn't just looking for a fuck buddy. (Owen meets that need quite nicely.) He agreed and assured me multiple times that he just wanted to meet me, but no sooner did we get on the beach than he's kissing me. He was a great kisser, so I didn't stop him. Then he moves to my tits and I told him to stop, but he kept going. I protested and the next thing I know, he has got my hand and is moving it to his cock...um, hello did you not hear what I said?? So, I continue to protest and then he gets up and goes down to the ocean and when he comes back there is guy on the beach and he abruptly says he's ready to go and gets up and we leave...like 20 minutes into the whole thing. It was WEIRD. I texted him and told him I thought he'd totally treated me like a whore and that I was completely unimpressed. He apologized and said he was super turned on by me and then the guy freaked him out and he just needed to get out of there. I went to sleep with Damien calling me AGAIN at like 2am. I ignored a total of 10 calls from him in 2 days over this.

Saturday morning rolls around and the new guy is texting me and apologizing and I agreed to give him a 2nd chance. Damien is calling and texting and emailing me too trying to find out why I placed the ad and what all had happened last week...crazy psychotic behavior. It was incessant. I kept putting him off and when I would tell him something he would totally judge it and it just got to be too much. I kept bitching him out and he kept coming back for more. All of this despite the fact that he'd totally gone MIA after the whole ultimatum thing. I'm just dishing it back to him hard core though. The new guy texts me ALL day and I finally agreed to go out with him tonight.

This morning rolls around and I wake up to a text from the new guy and we spend the morning texting and I realize what a total fucking fruit loop he is. I mean this man is fucking insane, like Clark insane. I finally piss him off and he tells me he's making other plans tonight. I told him I thought that was an outstanding plan. He continues to text me telling me how great he is and so I started doing the same right back until he finally apologized and said he really wanted to get to know me and that he was sorry he'd tried to make it all about sex but that he was just so sexually attracted to me. I said ok, fine and then told him that if he was sincere about it that I would hang out with him another night, since I was calling his bluff on tonight, but that there would be no sex. He accused me of playing head games and then finally quit texting me. He randomly sent me another text saying something, but I think he was fake texting me so that I would reply. It was all SUPER strange, but at least I realized it before going back out with him. I should have bolted after the whole Friday night thing.

Meanwhile this morning, Damien is still trying to call me and is sending me crazy, psychotic emails. I finally told him I was just done and to leave me alone. He sent me a threatening email, but I basically was just whatever about it...he's not going to do anything to me. If he was, he would have done it long before now. So, hopefully I've finally pushed him far, far away and he'll leave me alone. I'm tempted to put an ad back up though just see what he'll do but why poke the bear? OMG he is a fucking fruit loop too.

In the midst of all of that, Owen starts sexting me and we had a fun exchange and some "personal relief" time together texting. He started it all this morning by saying that the next time we're together he wants to take pictures of us. We exchanged several very naughty pics of our own and lots of sexts. He's just fun and easy and not crazy!! I need to find an unmarried version of him...lol.

So, that was the weekend here is Crazy Land. I don't know why I attract such fucked up men!! I guess it's the CL thing, but gd they are NUTS. I'm afraid to continue emailing with the other guys now for fear that they are just as off. I'll definitely spend more time emailing with them before meeting them if I decide to even go that way. Holy Mother of God!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Community Service

I’m a homeowner!  Whoot!  After two months of anxiety yesterday I signed my papers and got my keys!  Tonight I did my first real home improvement project – I changed a toilet seat.  It was disgusting but satisfying. 

In more interesting news, I had a bunch of funny stuff happen with boys this week.  Jethro (the guy who fell and then disappeared within the same week) emailed me.  We exchanged a couple messages and he apologized for the way he acted before and said it was just him, not me.  He asked if we could talk sometime and I told him sure. He’s texted me a few times since but no phone call.  I think he knows his ship has sailed.

The weirdo guy who was going to rub his sister’s triceps messaged me through Match.  He asked for a second chance and I asked him why he felt the need to lie.  He said it was a split second reaction and that he really wanted another change. I told him no thanks.

The landscaper has been in and out via text.  Really since the Midwest invasion of Kansas I’ve been very neglectful towards the landscaper. He did offer to help me move though next weekend haha.

The Repo guy wanted me to meet him out last weekend.  This was the same night I was with Kansas.  I kind of felt torn at the time but obviously I chose to stay with Kansas and from his attention this week it was definitely the right choice.   I haven’t heard from the Repo man since so I think he’s pissed at me but whatever.

I’ve had a bunch of random and seemingly nice guys messaging me on Match but honestly between the house stuff and work stuff I’ve been so overwhelmed I can’t put forth any effort to get to know someone new.  I need to do better with that since I’m actually paying for Match now.

And Coach has been continually emailing me trying to win me back.  Between the house/work stress he got me all discombobulated one day and I called up Gwyn to vent.  I went back to steadfastly ignoring him since then and it’s helped my stress level greatly.  But not before I told him if he wanted to win me back, he had to win Gwyn or Jules over to his side first.  Because if I ever gave him another chanced, he’d have to win back my friends and family.  His response was, “Damn! I feel like my uphill battle just turned into climbing Mt. Everest.”  HA!

Today I had Sawyer help me move a refrigerator into my new house and it was crazy.  I realized riding in his truck with him that he dips! I never knew that in all the time I was involved with him or afterwards as just friends. How did that escape my attention?  YUCK!  No wonder he’s always chewing damn gum.  It was kind of horrifying.  He behaved very well though and didn’t cross any of my aforementioned lines.  

Though there was almost a Sawyer/Kansas crossover.  Kansas has wanted to help me with the house and stuff but at the same time he’s been very reluctant to do anything where other friends/family was going to be involved.  I told him if he wanted today he could run to Lowes with me and help me get all the paint and stuff I need for tomorrow (which is the big painting day)  and told him to meet me at the new house at 1:30.  Well it took longer to get the fridge and it was like 1:20 and Sawyer was hanging around chit chatting and I thought I was gonna have to hustle him out.  Fortunately Kansas was running a few minutes late and Sawyer was out of there before he showed up.

At Lowes Kansas was so funny because on one had he was trying to give me advice/suggestions and on the other you could tell he was trying hard not to “tell me” what to get.  Then in the check out line the cashier asked him, “How are you feeling about this honey-do list?”  I died laughing and he just kind of shrugged his shoulders and turned red.  Very hilarious.  After we left there he lectured me about not eating lunch and made me go to Subway (and get a big sub so I’d have some for dinner later) and then made me sit and eat while he ran around my house patching nail pops and filling holes with spackle. 

Later I was at Leo’s basketball game and Kansas texted me saying he sure wished we could have started painting tonight. I told him I was sure there’d be plenty of painting he could help with later this week.  A few minutes later he offered to go over and paint tonight!  I thought he was kidding but he was dead serious.  I finally agreed to meet him back over there about 8 pm to give him a key since he was so dead set on helping out.  I went over there for about 45 minutes and he was like a kid on Christmas.  He’s already painted most of one wall before I left and he was stressing about it not being good enough for me lol. I thought maybe he’d paint a bedroom but he said his goal was to paint everything but the bedrooms. He’s crazy!  I can’t imagine what I’ll walk in to in the morning.

I can’t say I’ve ever had a guy do something like this before. It’s pretty damn cool I have to say.  This is a whole different realm of service from just opening a bottle of water.  It’s so weird to be sitting at home I in bed typing this when I know he’s over there busting his ass painting.  If this is what holding out on sex gets me I might hold out for a long time! 


Friday, January 20, 2012

Emotion Overload

It's been a hell of a week...
I knew Gavin was supposed to move on Monday and apparently so did my subconscious b/c I've been dreaming about him all week and I never dream about people I know in real life. That has weighed heavily on me and sleep has been at a minimal. I had not returned his call from over a week or two ago b/c I knew if he was still here it wasn't emotionally safe for me to call him.

I saw Owen on Tuesday for amazing, hot, omg sex. He's been helping me research some stuff for a new hobby Gwyn and I have. It's nice of  him, but honestly it's outside of our realm and I just asked two questions and now it's turned into a thing. I don't want a thing...I just wanted an answer about power tools since I married a gay man and I've quit speaking to my Dad.

Wednesday and Thursday I attended a training about alcoholism, suicide, and cyber bullying. In the midst of this, my Dad starts texting me. I finally broke my silence and railed him about his addictions and his need to get help. He thinks I'm siding with my Mom and that's why I'm not speaking to him. It's NOT that at all...I'm not speaking to him b/c he's a fucking addict and it pisses me off that he's blowing his second chance at life and I'm still mad about Thanksgiving. I told him as much and he excused and denied everything. He finally told me that he'd obviously been raised better than I was...um, dumbass...you raised me. My brother and I got a good laugh over that one.  It was super stressful though.

In class last night, we did expressive art therapy. I liked one of the exercises and one of them I did not. When I told the facilitator why I didn't like the movement one, he totally called me out on having experienced my own trauma in life regarding my personal space. He was right on, but I wasn't expecting such open honest feedback. When I was 10, my stepfather attempted to sexually abuse me. He never got past rubbing me, but it was still traumatic.  I got up and told everyone that would listen. Nothing happened to him b/c my parents (by that I mean my Dad and my stepmom b/c my mom is a cunt) thought the trauma of court and testifying would be too much for me...they were wrong btw. When I was 15, he tried again and I beat the shit of him in a hotel room while my coked up mother was passed out in a bed beside us. So yeah, I have personal space issues...I hadn't expected to deal with that coming up this week though.

Then today Gwyn texts me and tells me that she bought a dresser and that Gavin can have his back. I called him to tell him that he could finally come get his stuff. I knew he was supposed to leave on Monday, but I had no idea if he gone or not. He has left....he's in San Diego it seems. I assumed he would move to LA where the gf is or home to NJ, but he didn't. He said he moved there b/c there are a lot of tracks for his son to race on and he has work there. He said he has no hard feelings towards me and wants to talk more...I don't. I can't. I loved him despite the fact that he was horribly flawed and totally wrong for me. We had this ridiculously normal conversation about the move and what I'm doing right now and his commentary on the supermarket he was in and then we hung up and I totally sat in my car and cried. I think it was an emotional outpouring of the week's events and some final closure on my relationship with him. I say that, but I don't know if it's actual closure. I know that his son's mom will never let him move with him, so as he said he expects to be back in HI a lot. I hope not, he's so toxic for me. Ugggg...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Midwest Invasion

Between work being frantic over a press conference we’re hosting on Thursday and buying a house/moving I’m about overwhelmed. Last night I was sitting at home after working till 9 pm and tried to change the channel using my phone! But it’s all good exciting stuff so I guess I shouldn’t complain too much.

Last weekend I went out with a new guy. He and I had been texting for a couple weeks and I figured it was finally time to bite the bullet and meet him face to face. He was the very last guy from PoF and while I thought he was cute in an overgrown frat boy sort of way I just wasn’t sure about him. He’d originally invited me out on New Year’s Day but I was too tired from all my Party Girl Weekend exploits and he’s been faithfully texting me every since. Not too much, just enough to let me know he’s still interested.

Kansas (that’s where he’s from) 38, about 6’1, divorced for about 6 years, is some sort of Project Manager in telecommunications, and he was living in Colorado before he moved here in March. He spent most of his 20s in the Navy and apparently right as Kansas was getting divorced he got some girl pregnant so he has a kid but the relationship with the baby mama is extremely contentious and he doesn’t get to see the kid much (the kid lives in Colorado I believe). He’s very “manly” but he’s extremely nice at the same time. Kansas is big on opening doors, being the “man” who takes care of the lady, and he’s got pretty great manners. I haven’t fully vetted his history but so far everything seems to be on the up and up.

What’s even funnier is that Kansas reminds me so much of Gwyn’s McDreamy! I mean he looks like they could be related, he talks like him, and he has a lot of the same little personality tweaks. Hell he even loves to play video games like McDreamy! I’ve been calling him McDreamy 2.0 to Gwyn lol.

Friday night we met for dinner and drinks which turned into heading back to my town for more drinks and me inviting him to my place for a while. We talked and listened to music and kissed and stuff. It was super late and Kansas was going to leave and I invited him to stay if he could behave himself. He promised he would and he actually did! Saturday morning I woke up to him rubbing my back and we lay there and talked for about a hour before he headed home, but not before asking to see me again that night.

Saturday night Leo had a basketball game so I went to that and then headed over to Kansas’s place for a late dinner. Again he went out of his way to make sure it was exactly the kind of food I liked and even the drink I liked. We watched a movie (that he had me pick out), played Xbox (that Kinect thing is so cool!) and lay on the couch for a long time. Eventually it got late and he asked if I’d like to stay the night and I agreed as long as the same rules were in effect lol. We kissed and stuff but he was again very respectful.

Sunday morning again he woke me up by rubbing my back for like 30 minutes and we lay there and dozed in and out until about noon before I got up and headed home. I’m finding out the little things a guy does make a huge impression on me. Case in point, Sunday morning Kansas asked if I’d like a bottle of water and when he got me one, he opened it before handing it to me. That’s just freaking nice y’all! And it’s kind of funny because the crazy Irish man from a few weeks back told me how in Brazil the women go out of their way to take care of the men including opening their bottles before handing it to them. HA!

We’ve been talking and texting ever since and Kansas says he’s going to provide chauffer service to a concert me and my boss are going to on Saturday. So we’ll see how it goes. I definitely feel more cautious than usual but I think that’s just because I have so much other stuff going on, I don’t really have time to focus on him.

There’s a whole bunch of crazy stuff going on with my Match exploration, boys from the past coming back, and other general wild male related stuff going on but I’ll have to fill you in later!


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

TMI Tuesday - Hoo Do

Happy TMI Tuesday. Let’s play Hoo Doo (Who Do?).

Who or Who(m) do you want to:

1. Play naked twister with?
Um no one. There are some parts of people I just don’t want to see that up close in a non-sexual moment. Just imagining trying to avoid looking at someone’s “brown eye” or seeing their balls hanging there would result in me becoming a child again and giggling incessently. - Miranda
Yeah, um no thank you to that. -Gwyn
Um, Owen I guess...really no one. Bad Naked! - Jules

2. Love?
My Prince Charming! I’ve you’ve seen him lately, tell him I’m damn tired of waiting. - Miranda
McDreamy. -Gwyn
OMG you love McDreamy??? Like love, love?? (OK, I feel 15.) I love Chloe and sometimes I love Russell, but not in a sexual way. I love my parents (mostly). I love Miranda and Gywn and Josie and a few select others. - Jules

3. Excites you beyond belief?
I don’t think there’s anyone that “excites me beyond belief.” If I could pull a blast from the past I’d love to be around Flyboy again. - Miranda
I don't really ever get excited beyond belief but in the past year I'd say Popeye got me the most excited of anyone. Him and his perfect penis. -Gwyn
Owen, my sex god...hands down. - Jules

4. Enjoy ass play with?
Well the only person I’ve really gone there with was Coach and I’d sure as hell not allow him back there now. Though I wouldn’t mind taking a strap on to him as punishment. - Miranda
Exit only. Exit only. -Gwyn
Again, my sex god...Owen. But honestly I love that with most men... - Jules

5. Shower with?
Actually the only person I’ve ever showered with was Coach as well. How strange is that? And if we took a shower together right now I’d probably either try to drown him or push him down so he’d “accidentally” hit his head. I like my showers for myself so I’d choose a single shower! - Miranda
I've showered with just about every boyfriend I've had so I guess it'd be a long list. -Gwyn
Well, this is going to have to go to Owen again...in part b/c he's the only guy I'm fucking right now but b/c he's also the one I love showering with after...the kissing, the touching...OMG! I've showered with Clark, Russell, and Gavin but none are as hot as Owen showers.  - Jules

6. Undress?
I wouldn’t mind undressing the Repo guy from New Year’s Eve. He had his nipples pierced and I found that incredibly sexy. He’s sent me some great pics too via text and I think undressing him would be pretty fun. - Miranda
Is Brad Pitt an option? -Gwyn
Meh - I don't care about undressing...take off your own clothes. - Jules

7. Rim?
Um, I’ll pass. I don’t think there’s anyone I want bad enough to rim. Though I might let someone do that to me ;-) - Miranda
I don't even know what that means! -Gwyn
I have rimmed Gavin and Clark...I would love to rim Owen but he's reverse ass play hesitant. I love having it done and honestly that was a perk of Gavin...that man would lick my ass like nobody's business.  - Jules

8. Elope with?
Preferably someone who is not a gimp and is over 6 feet tall with a banging job so I can be a lady of leisure. - Miranda
Anyone who will make my Hawaiian housewife dream come true....-Gwyn
That would imply that I ever want to get married again...no thank you. - Jules

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why?
Well this weekend it was pretty great to wake up in the arms of the new guy who I haven’t even talked about both days. I wouldn’t mind doing that again soon. He was really kind and considerate and after we woke up both days he lay there and rubbed my back for like 30 minutes. It was pretty great. No sex was involved either! - Miranda 
I love waking up with McDreamy! -Gwyn
I hate sleeping with people. I like waking up alone. I'm sure that makes me a gimp...lol. What can I say? I'm a bed pig. - Jules

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Afternoon Delight

Owen texted me yesterday to see what my schedule was like this weekend and we talked about meeting up today for lunch or after work. He couldn't work the lunch time because he had to work, but he sent me a text asking what time I was getting off. (Hahaha, my reply is always "whenever you're around".) I told him and he said he had his kids then b/c the wife was teaching a class, but that he could drop them off at home and come see me. I told him that was a fabulous idea (since they are 10 and 12 after all) and that the house was free!

We sexted some pictures back and forth and he's LOVING that I've kept my kitty shaved for him. Honestly, it still weirds me out, but whatever...I'm getting slightly more used to it. So, he came over for a little afternoon delight. I'd go into details, but due to the lack of comments on recent posts I can only assume that ya'll are tired of details of sex with Owen but it was the usual OMG fabulous, sheet soaking, I came so much my body was sore kinda sex.

Adam cracked me up today with his cheesy songs post (though I'm seriously happy for him) and I was trying to find Afternoon Delight on YouTube to copy him, but instead I found this. While I am not a Will Ferrell fan and I've never seen this movie, this clip totally made me laugh out loud. A side note if you're an Arrested Development fan...one of my all time favorite moments of that show is when Micheal and Maeby sing this as a karaoke duet at the company Christmas party. It's hilariously inappropriate!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Crazy Magnet

I am a total crazy magnet. I mean I draw them like a moth to a flame. Russell told me last night that it’s because I’m so intense that sometimes that’s the only thing that matches my level. I guess there may be some truth to that.  The Damien thing has escalated to the point where I’ve backed totally out.
It’s been coming since he found out about Owen. He’s super jealous and claims to be in love with me and seeing me working out is an “intimate experience” and not having me sexually is apparently torturing him. Meanwhile when he asked me last night when I was going to start having sex with him, I freaked.  I pointed out he’s fucking a Chinese version of my grandma complete with muumuu and I wasn’t really into following that. Honestly I have no sexual interest in him, so continuing to string him along just wasn’t right.
I tried to push it all back on him, but finally I told him that I wasn’t going to work out with him anymore since I wasn’t ready to give him what he wants. Last night, he gave me an ultimatum to stop seeing Owen and starting seeing him sexually or to leave him alone. I’m choosing the latter option. I was going to choose lying to him about not seeing Owen, but why? I’m a grown woman and I’m going to see and do who I want to see and do. Thus ends this chapter, maybe…
In other crazy news, Clark continues to randomly text me. Sometime he wants to know who I’m fucking (which I do not answer) and sometimes he just wants to say “Hi”…super weird but at least he’s 5000 miles away.
No further contact from Gavin, but often times no sooner than do I get those words out then he appears. I suspect Damien will continue to buffer that situation, but who knows? I’m just banking on him leaving very soon, like hopefully next week.
I did see Owen yesterday for lunch. We had a super hot lunch hour in my bed as everyone was working or at school. He continues to pleasure me immensely and despite Damien’s claims, I cannot imagine him being a better lover nor do I plan to give this up. He makes me cum in so many ways!! By the way, I’m again totally recommending the We Vibe. We LOVE it!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Feels Like the First Time

Ok well not really lol. Well last night the landscaper from my party girl weekend posts came over. I can’t remember what I’ve told you about him or not but he’s 41, 6’, hazel eyes, brown hair with some grey in it, goatee, single, one kid, was married for a very short time in his 20s, and obviously he’s a landscaper. And he’s a party boy who likes to go out like Miranda. Oh and he’s kinda got Chiclet teeth – but really nice Chiclet teeth lol.

We met during my last days on PoF and exchanged a couple emails, then texts, and then we met face to face New Year’s Eve (the night of the Repo man). He begged and begged to hang out on New Year’s Day and I relented and he came over and we talked a bunch and made out but all in all he was very much a gentleman. Though I did totally learn that the Landscaper is a manscaper that day.  I got the kids back the next day so for the last week it’s been a lot of texting and talking and generally getting to know each other though there has been a bit of racy texting as well. Mostly caused by the “slutty leg” picture below.

Side note – the slutty leg picture started as a joke. I took it one day and laughed and laughed when I saw it. If you look close enough you can see the bruise on my leg that I’m not sure who exactly caused it during my party girl weekend. I ended up sending it to a bunch of people and then I showed by boss because every guy’s reaction was so over the top. So then we joked about her sending it out and then she did. And all her guys’ reaction was ridiculous too. So far the slutty leg has traveled via text/email to three different states and about 11 different guys.

So anyways, the day after the slutty leg made an appearance, the Landscaper was getting hot and bothered. Eventually our texting that afternoon turned to sexting and I ended up getting an awesome penis pic lol. I mean a really good one. Monday was my first kid free night and he had asked about coming over then remembered the football game was on last night. I suggested he hang out with his friends and we could get together on Tuesday because despite my best efforts, this girl is so not a football fan and I do my damndest to keep it off my TV.

So the Landscaper goes out with his friends last night to watch the game and I’m enjoying a little me time. Shortly before 9, he texted me and said he was done watching the game already (it started at 8:30 lol) and wanted to come see me. I acquiesced and he got over to my place in double time. We were just sitting on the couch and he was asking me a ton of questions about work and stuff and we were having a good old G rated time watching TV. And then the kissing started. And damn can the Landscaper kiss. Though he does have a goatee and I get total beard burn from it but it’s so worth it.

So kissing leads to more playing and more playing and last time we’d already had the discussion about no sex but damn it was hard to resist. Eventually the couch was just not cutting it and we relocated to the bedroom though I reiterated my stance of no sex and we continued our play time there. I was honestly at the point about to give in when he got a little wrapped up in the moment and finished lol. So my virtue was intact last night. It was near one by the time we were done playing around and I invited him to stay the night and we crawled under the covers.

I have to say it was really nice to sleep next to someone again. I forgot how much I liked cuddling and laying there talking in those few minutes before sleep. All was good. I got up this morning and took a shower and did my hair and make up for work and texted the girls letting them know I was a good girl last night. Then I made a fatal mistake and crawled back into bed next to the Landscaper. He wrapped his arms around me and started rubbing and touching me everywhere. And I swear my body just took over and next thing I knew I had ripped off my robe and I was on top of him. And OMG it was so worth breaking my vow. The Landscaper is smoking hot and he knows just what to do with every part of his body.

Afterwards we lay there and I was so much more relaxed than I’ve been in months. He said I had shocked him lol and we lay there for about another 10 minutes before I had to haul ass to get up and get to work. I was 15 minutes late as it was.

All day long I’ve been pleasantly achy and sore in ways I had forgotten from my 126 days of celibacy. I’m also so relaxed it’s hard to care much about doing any work! HA! I don’t know what will happen with the Landscaper. I mean we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well over the last couple weeks but it’s still early days. I do know one thing though, I learned a lot about myself and how I relate to sex during those 126 days. And I know that today, I’m not mooning around about the Landscaper hoping he likes me because we had sex which is a big mind shift from before. And I know I had sex with him because that’s fully what I wanted to do from a physically driven standpoint. Maybe my hearts tougher after all the BS with Coach, maybe I have just finally figured out the right perspective on sex, maybe I’m just too damn chill today to care anyways. But this girl right here has been walking around with a new swagger today for damn sure.