Friday, July 30, 2010

Hickeys and Hangovers

Oh dear Lord, I don't even know where to begin. If I still believed in God and was still a practicing Catholic, I imagine that's how my confession would start to flow. As it is, yesterday was a really weird day...I mean weird. I woke up to an email from Owen saying he couldn't meet me yesterday after work because his family was coming into town where he's working this summer for dinner. I guess he really couldn't tell his wife "No, sorry I plan to fuck my mistress today on the way home".  So, I'm certainly not pissed at him about it or anything. I'm having my period this week not that he cares but I kind of do (tmi I know) and in light of my lecture to Russell on Monday night...I was feeling guilty about leaving during "family hours" anyway.
Here's where it gets bizarre. I came home last night to the guy next door talking to Russell about coming over later with some recreational substances he brought back from the Middle East (no, he's not military...went to "find himself") duct taped to his balls. Now that's got to be some pretty good shit if you're willing to duct tape it to your balls...I'm just saying. Russell asked if I was down with this and clearly I am, so I have no idea why he asked. Neighbor guy is this really nice stoner kid (late 20s) that just moved in 2 months ago with his gf and the gf's kid that is 2 years old. His gf just took the bar exam this week and has apparently been way stressed and he's way stressed about this ready made family he's walked into it seems. Anyway, we hurry Chloe off to bed and proceed to drink a freaking ton of wine, smoke, and all take a Xanax. Please remember this when you're doing parent of the year nominations...we did wait until she was in bed after all.
At some point early in the evening around 11pm, Russell went to bed. Neighbor guy and I did not (quite yet). We continued to sit outside and drink. The next thing I knew, we were fucking in my bed and he was asking me if I was sure Russell didn't mind him fucking me. LOL, a little late now to be inquiring, but no, no he doesn't mind. (Well, he did mind a little bit I found out this morning but only because he was home and that's against our rules of play here.) Honestly I have very little memory of the sex, but what I do remember was pretty fucking hot and I remember him leaving at 3am saying how much he wanted us to do this again. I love neighbor sex as much as the next girl, but I don't know about this one. It feels a little too close! Plus, he's not really my type...I mean I think he's hot and he's got great stories and stuff, but he's all tattooed up and has his nipples pierced and all.  I was just saying to Russell Monday afternoon before our big fight that I need a new boy that smokes though, so there could be some good benefits out of this one.
Well this morning, I came out of my bedroom about 11:30am and was greated with a look from Russell. I asked what was that about and he said last night with neighbor guy was not cool. Chloe walked in and so we finished our conversation via text. As it turns out he wasn't pissed that I did him, but that he was home as I stated earlier. I told him I was really sorry and honestly had no idea how it all happened. Here's his text reply to me.
"When a boy and a girl love each other very much they want to make a baby. It starts by kissing in a dark kitchen where the girl's husband is bound to walk through and ends in her bedroom where he is just as likely to hear the baby being made. That's the miracle of love!"
I have to say Russell is a funny, funny man. If he didn't get up to pee every 5 seconds, he wouldn't hear and see so much around the house at night. This morning when I went into his bathroom to get some Advil, he pointed out the giant hickeys on my neck. Crap! I hope they fade before work on Monday and my interview on Tuesday! So now it's 1:30pm and I'm still laying around in bed feeling like ass. I finally ate, but it hasn't helped much. I'm thinking of at least moving to the couch now so I can watch TV. Russell took Chloe out for ice cream b/c she let us both sleep until 11am and then she's going to a friend's house this afternoon, thankfully!

Trials and Tribulations

Here’s a quickie update for you…

As far as the whole Patient Zero/STD thing goes, so far The Giant, SoCo, and Motorcycle Man have all been negative. Pretty much just leaves Sawyer or Lawyer Boy, neither of whom have been to the DR yet or reported back to me on their results. So things are looking more like Jules was right and I got it from Cabana Boy. Crazy, we’ll have to wait and see what happens now.

I sent Lawyer Boy a text Wednesday asking how the Bar Exam went and par for the course I haven’t heard back from him yet. Honestly, with IT around, I don’t know if I even care anymore. I mean IT has a big ass, grown up job and he finds time to text me. Whatever. Lawyer Boy’s not cut but he’s definitely teetering. Alright, as I tyed this yesterday afternoon guess who calls…Lawyer Boy. Damn his cute little ADD self! He talked my ear off for 45 minutes all about the Bar and how he’s so ready to have a normal life again and how he’s missed hanging out with me. He vaguely mentioned us getting together this weekend but no solid plans were made.

Motorcycle Man had the audacity to lecture me again on my lifestyle choices when I asked if he’d been to the doctor. I know its cause he’s mad I turned him down for last night but WTF. I almost lost it with him. I’m fighting every urge to tell him to Fuck Off and never contact me again. I don’t want to be rude but he needs to keep his fucking opinions to himself. I knew better than to go out with him. But that being said, if I hadn’t gone out with him, I’d never have passed my number to IT. (See Gwyn, things do happen for a reason LOL)

Through the grapevine, I heard that Duckie’s girl dumped him. I feel bad for him. I hope she at least did it nicely or that this is just a blip in the road and she gives him another chance. I did notice that she had de-friended him on Facebook and that’s never a good sign. But he seems to be taking it in stride. He wasn’t mean or anything when I bailed on taking Leo to camp twice.

I’ve been very consciously not texting with College Crush as much. I’m totally chickening out on having the “talk” with him. I just don’t know what to say! I did totally break our plans for spending the weekend together. Going to see him would definitely not the smartest thing to do right now. Give me some advice on what to say!

Flyboy and I have not had much going on. As much as I like him, I don’t think he’s going to transform into any sort of relationship other than a booty call really. I mean even when he moves to NC, he’s going to live about 1.5 hours away. That being said, I’m not going to stop talking to him because he’s way too much fun!

Last night I went out with IT again!  I know, 3 dates in one week.  I'm feeling a little cautious and overwhelmed about him right now.  I'll post more about him later.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Have Mercy on Me

Last night was date number two with IT and well, he is the shit. Big time. Like overwhelmingly Miranda’s in trouble shit.

We had texted some during the day and made plans to meet up for drinks and dinner. I was feeling my work outfit was severely un-date worthy so I had to do a little mad dash after work shopping. I’ll be honest, I did bring an overnight bag with a “work” outfit for the next day, and ultimately that’s what I ended up wearing. Though I did buy a super cute bathing suit, which came in handy later in the date…

We met at this “upscale” restaurant and ended up just sitting at the bar and talking for several hours and several glasses of wine. We kept talking about ordering food but we never managed to get around to it. He was impressed with my choice of wine though! I had told Gwyn earlier in the day I was having a complex about dating IT. He just seems like such a grown up compared to all the other guys I’ve dated and hell even compared to me. I feel like I should be dressing nicer, reading intellectual novels, staying up on world affairs, etc. So IT being impressed and liking the wine I chose was pretty gratifying I’m not going to lie.

While we were at the restaurant, people kept coming up to say hello to IT. He knows everyone! It was pretty hot to feel like I was out with someone who was “known” in the community I’ll admit. Eventually it was getting a little later and even though we didn’t manage to actually eat any real food, we opted to buy a bottle of wine to go and headed back to his place to sit in his hot tub (thank heavens I bought that bathing suit!).

IT has a nice house! It’s an interesting mix of bachelor pad and grown up man house. At this point in the evening, we hadn’t even kissed still and it was killing me. There was lots of leg touching and casual flirty touches but no kiss yet! During this part of the night, I did manage to get a photo of IT, which was critical because neither Gwyn nor Jules had seen him and they were very curious. I had a little half-drunken texting thing with Jules and Josie, which made me laugh hysterically. At one point IT took my phone and started reading my messages and he now thinks we are all a bunch of crazy girls.

After a while, we changed into our bathing suits and headed to the hot tub. We talked a ton more, drank more wine, and finally got to the kissing! Kissing of course turned into something else and what ensued next was a crazy, out of control, hot, hot, hot three hour sex marathon. Yes – 3 hours straight, no break, no breather, no time outs! OMG! I have no words. We did some crazy stuff, stuff I’ve never done with anyone else. Remember earlier this week Jules was talking about a man who just takes control, well IT is definitely that kind of guy. Full on, in control, in charge. It makes sex so much hotter when a guy is like that! The sex was really outstanding, easily the best I’ve ever had in my life.

Eventually we collapsed and feel asleep. Waking up this morning, deliciously sore, with his arms around me and his tiny cute little dog (who is maybe the most adorable dog ever) curled up on my other side was pretty freaking awesome. I really like this guy, like “like” this guy a lot. A scary lot!

I don’t know where it’s going. We’ve both been pretty candid about not wanting to rush in to anything and taking it just one day at a time. I know I totally blew my 4-date rule but I just couldn’t help it. The chemistry was killing me last night. Today, I’m so freaking sore in every muscle in my body. I feel like I ran a marathon! One of my legs may actually be broken but damn was it worth it.

I have a sneaking suspicion Team Miranda's about to get chopped down to just one MVP…


PS – Last night when I was texting Jules, IT wanted to know who I was texting so I was telling him about Jules and my recent trip out to Hawaii. Later on in the night, after some special “favors,” he did say he’d take me to Hawaii soon! HAHAHAH! Oh and we talked in some detail about his job and he makes serious bank! Big time!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I'm Back Bitches

I have returned from my self-imposed blog hiatus and good Lord it's been an eventful week. Rather than bore you with a four page post, I'm going to hit the high points. Long story short - I'm in love...again.

7/15 - Truck Driver makes a booty call, I turned him down because I was still weirded out by our last encounter

7/16 - The Barber came over and spent the night, slept until 2pm the next day as I was off doing my consulting job. This is the day I realized I'm in love with him again. Even my roommate noticed.

7/17 - Got a text from an unknown number, it was The Barber's cousin (aka my former booty call) asking me why I deleted him from my BBM list. I lied and said it must have just happened, then stopped responding to his texts. Decided I had to come up with a way to handle this situation once and for all.

7/18 - Started pet-sitting out in the country. Got The Barber to meet Cabana Boy to provide him with recreational substances. The Barber came out and stayed with me in the country because he thought I would be scared out there all alone lol. When he left I realized, once again, that I'm in love with him. Like completely. Biggest development of the day, found out that The Barber and my former booty call aren't actually cousins!

7/19 - Helped Miranda with her sex flow chart. Truck Driver called again asking for booty but I turned him down because I was out in the boondocks and didn't want to drive into town.

7/20 - Comforted Miranda about her impending STD-related conversations.

7/21 - Truck Driver wanted booty again, turned him down again. This being in love crap is really messing with my sex schedule.

7/23 - Truck Driver texted for booty at 7am, once again I turned him down. The Barber took me out to lunch at my favorite restaurant (the owner who has a crush on me was none too thrilled to see me bring a man with me....he's only seen me there with Miranda). The Barber also gave me some really good greenery. I told Miranda that if I wasn't in love before the free green salsa lunch and the weed gift, that I certainly was after. She said I am easy to please lol.

7/24 - Finally got to meet Pool John and Cabana Boy in person. Miranda wanted to push them off on me but luckily I had a couple of friends with me who love older men so they provided a nice distraction. One even asked about Cabana Boy and told Miranda she thought he was really cute.

7/25 - Yet ANOTHER text from Truck Driver asking for booty......I finally gave in! I will say  it was a strange experience. The sex was good but I felt really detached during the whole thing and just sort of weird. When I left I decided that I am not going to continue doing this with him any more, it's just not worth it. I also get the vibe that he likes me more than he is letting on and it's sort of making me uncomfortable. Not to mention that since I'm now back in love with The Barber, this whole booty call thing has sort of lost its appeal.

7/26 - The Barber came over and spent the night. I gave in and bought him a toothbrush to keep at my house again. He had one when we were together before but I trashed it when we broke up. I guess you could say that a toothbrush = love.

7/27 - Major work meltdown. Re-evaluated life once again. Started thinking that maybe restaurant management is my destiny.

Today - Continue major work meltdown. Hopefully consume large quantities of green salsa with Miranda on our lunch break. Search for jobs....figure out a way to turn this blog into millions.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I've Gotta Feeling

So I think I have to do something about College Crush. Night before last we were texting some and I asked about our plans to hang out this weekend because last week when he was all made at me for the Sunday debacle he said those plans were on “hiatus.” Well he still wants to hang out.

He’s definitely thawed out the last few days. I think I have to have the “talk” with him about where my head is at finally. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to any of you who have been reading this blog for any length of time that he’s not one of the top MVPs on my team. I’ve really been trying to cut back the amount of texting we do just to keep things realistic with him.

This morning as I was driving to work I was thinking about what to do about this weekend and wondering (though I really knew the answer) if I could just let him assume we were on and then cancel on him if something better came along. I had to ask myself who would be the something that would come along and have me cancel on him and it’s IT, Flyboy, or Lawyer Boy. College Crush is a distant fourth to those guys already. And that’s just bad. It’s not the right thing to do.

Clearly, based on his reaction last week to the Sunday debacle, he’s in this “relationship” a lot deeper than I am and if he was just some guy in passing, I might let it ride but he and I were friends first. Ugh, I’m dreading this conversation. I don’t even know what to say or how to say it. Any suggestions?

Miscellaneous Updates:
IT and I texted quite a bit last night, probably too much. I’m trying to play it cool here. I don’t want to let this one slip away! I’m really hoping we will be hanging out tomorrow since that starts my next childfree week! In an extremely boring meeting today I caught myself day dreaming about him taking me shopping a’la Pretty Woman. Is that bad?

Motorcycle Man texted me today and invited me to dinner tomorrow night and out to spend the night at his house. Practicing my newfound ability to say “no” to things I really don’t want (thanks Gwyn) I told him no and that it just wasn’t convenient to spend a weeknight all the way out at his house. Haven’t heard from him since.

Today’s the day of the Bar Exam! Lawyer Boy should be done with it by now. Now we just have to wait and see where it goes with him from here on out. I’m very skeptical that anything will change but historically (when we first started dating) he was much more attentive and we saw each other much more frequently.

Flyboy’s back in the state but I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him much other than over the weekend. I had told him a little about mine and Gwyn’s philosophy of hating guns but finding a man with a gun incredibly hot. He started putting up pics on Facebook of him in uniform with an array of guns. I told him he was driving me crazy and who would have ever guessed Facebook would provide with me with such porn!

Other Boys – Nothing really to report. I’m trying to just focus on a few boys for a change. Ok that statement made me laugh re-reading this post and realizing that I’m still trying to juggle five different guys. The rich guy I mentioned last week has said several times he wants to take me out but we haven’t set a date yet. Some of the other guys on PoF I just got tired of talking and talking and talking with so if they haven’t already indicated some interest in us going out, I’ve quit talking to them.

Last but not least, exciting Duckie news! We’ve still been getting along really well which has been incredibly nice but makes me very wary. From nefarious means, I do get information on his private life, which makes me laugh. I know of a girl he’s gone out with and things must be going well because he sent her flowers yesterday. Maybe he finally hit it? HA!

Maybe I need to send her flowers because whatever she’s doing, it’s making my life a hell of a lot easier. And, I do really, really, really want him to be happy and move on. But hell, if he remarries before our alimony agreement runs out, I’m damn sure going to try to fight like hell to not have to pay the rest of it!


Round 2

Last night, Russell and I were home alone. That's not a very good idea these days, really...but we were trying to make it a nice evening. We were supposed to have a nice TV night on the couch catching up on our DVR shows. We did that, but with a brief interruption for a HUGE fight. The bf texted him while we were watching TV and told him that he'd had a rough day and that he wanted Russell to come out and meet him for a little bit on the beach or something. Then, Russell said "yes". WTF? I got pissed. I mean pissed. (There was a large bottle of wine involved and I started my period today too.) I laid into him about being a sorry ass friend, that I was sick and tired of this stupid child (the bf, not ours), that he was neglecting all of his shit around the house, etc. When I'm mad, I will cuss you out in a flat second too...being Southern and all. So words were exchanged (This was the 1st time in 18 years he's ever called me a bitch...which is shocking in and of itself since I am a bitch about 99% of the time) and then he got in my face...so I hit him. He pinned my arms and took me to the ground where I started kicking his back until he let go of me. Yep,  we were at it again...he walked out of the house after that to take out the trash because he'd been doing the dishes and some other chores before going because I told him if he didn't that they would be in his motherfucking bed when he got back. I think he gets that I don't make empty threats anymore.
He came back in after walking the trash up and we sat down and talked. He apologized for how he'd reacted to me and said that he was going to stay home as he had originally planned. We talked/yelled (me yelling) some more and we actually both cried. I told him again that none of his friends like the person that he has become and he agreed that he doesn't either. I told him that I'm tired of his not being here and that it's effecting Chloe and that if he can't do a better job of not going out around her, then I'm moving her home. Basically I told him that I can afford to stay in HI for a 6 months without his help beyond child support and then I can move home and transfer my Master's program to a NC school. I told him that I still don't want to do that, but I will because I will always survive and take care of her and I and that I will NOT do it here if I have to put up with this constant stupid bullshit from him. It ended up being a really good talk (though I pointed out that we had a very similar, non-violent version of this same talk about 2 weeks ago) and I think I actually got through to him this time.
He said he thinks I hate him. I assured him that presently while I don't like him, I don't hate him. When I truly hate you, I cut you completely out of my life forever and there is no going back. He's seen me do it and I told him that the way things are headed, it's plausible we could end up there and it's up to him to change because right now he really sucks.
Side note: He sucks for more than just trying to bail on me last night for TV night. Please note that this single event was not the cause of my rage against him last night. My rage is over how little he's being doing around here and how I basically feel like I have to force him to spend time with Chloe over the bf.
Now we wait to see if things really do change, he told me last night that he's changed work around and he plans to change things around here too. I told him that his staying last night and actually talking through everything was a really good start.

Monday, July 26, 2010


O-M-G. Just had lunch with the cute guy from the bar (forever to be known at IT). It was awesome! I’m in a full-blown swoon at the moment.

About 10 or so I texted him to ask how his run was (remember he’s a hardcore runner) and he replied and asked what my lunch plans were. I told him I didn’t have any plans and he texted back “Well now you do.” So hot! LOL! So we texted a couple more times to work out the details and then I started having heart palpitations. I mean he’s a full grown, badass, absolutely secure in his place in the world man. A MAN. A man like no other I’ve gone out with. I started to freak out a little too because I didn’t really get to see how tall he was the other night at the club and you know I have height issues.

So I slapped on some extra make up (thank heavens I started carrying a full contingent of make up in my purse a few months ago) and headed off to meet him at lunchtime. I managed to get there first which is crazy because every single date I’ve had since I moved out I end up being the second one there and I hate that. Feels like the balance of power is off when you’re walking in second.

I sat there nervously waiting and I glanced up to see him walking in and OMG, not only is he every bit as cute as I remember but he was tall! 6’3 to be exact! And he was wearing a shirt, tie, and Prada freaking sunglasses! Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Thank heavens we were doing lunch and not dinner because if drinking was involved, I could have been in a whole lot of trouble. Plus, I think in light of recent health developments I’m back in the 3-4 dates first rule, least that what I’m aiming for. I may only have to go out with him on lunch dates until we break the 4 date barrier just in case haha!

So we walked to our table with me silently girly squealing inside and wishing I had mental telepathy with Jules and Gwyn so they could hear how excited I was. We sat down, talked a little, and then ordered. IT didn’t even order off the menu, he just told the server what he wanted and she hopped right on it. He’s just that secure and sure of himself. So we talked and laughed and ate. Spent like two freaking hours at lunch.

IT is a really easy person to talk to. He’s clearly very educated and smart but he has this Bill Clinton-esque “down home” thing that just makes you totally comfortable. He asked questions about me and Duckie and told me about his family. We talked about some of his past relationships including his last real girlfriend who wanted a Maltese (they cost around $1500) and she gave it back to him when they broke up. So here’s this huge guy walking a 5-pound white Maltese named none other than Sugar, and he says he’s totally spoiled the dog and loves it to death now. Too funny!

We talked about places we’ve gone and places we want to go. IT mentioned he’s going to take a vacation in a few weeks, maybe to Europe. If I’d had one of those little cartoon bubbles that popped over my head you would have seen me thinking, “Damn I want to go to Europe. And hell yeah my passport is up to date!”

We had this running joke about him being so awesome that he didn’t even have to try to meet girls because he didn’t have to do anything but smile to get my number and at one point I said something to the effect of yeah I guess you are pretty awesome after all. He laughed and said “Now see, I can’t ever tell if you’re being serious or not.” I said, “Actually I am being serious” and gave him a little wink and hell if he didn’t smile real big and then blush. It was quite funny. Of course then I had to duck my face like a teenager LOL!

So eventually I had to call it to an end to get back to work and I started to do the fake offer to pay the bill and he said don’t worry about it, I got it. I did manage to sneak a peak at the bill and it was $60 just for lunch! And he left a $20 tip! As a former waitress, I so approve of that tip!

We walked outside and stood talking for a few minutes in an empty parking spot. We were doing the little fun awkward end of date shuffle where you’re trying to figure out if you’re going to kiss or not and damn if a stupid car didn’t come and want that spot and bust up the awkward shuffle! We ended the date with a hug and he said he wanted to see me again soon.

I’m in a full-blown girly swoon right now. Trying not to get my hopes up because every person has some flaw but damn if I can find one right now. Not a single red flag in sight at the moment. IT seems like a real catch! Enough of one that if all keeps going well, I just may let myself be caught!


PS - Just so you know, the end of date hug involved no pelvis to pelvis touching but I did totally press my boobs into his chest! HA!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Keeping Them In Line

So here's an update on my current boy toys...I'm pretty much over them all except Andy 26 and Owen. Although Andy 26 screwed himself a little bit last night and not in the way I'm sure he had intended. I had told him Friday night that it was possible my house would be free last night and that if he wanted to come up, he could. He said he would let me know and at 5pm when I hadn't heard from him, I started wine time...which lead to beer time...which lead to a shot of moonshine coffee liquor...which lead to more wine time. Needless to say at 9:20pm when he texted me to see if I had plans, I was barely coherent. I told him Russell was home as well since I hadn't heard from him, I hadn't asked him to go to his bf's. He said he'd been drinking too and guessed we would have to meet up another night this week. I recommended in the future that he alert me prior to 5pm if he wants to see me that night. God, I'm starting to get like my Dad. If it's after 5pm...it's a crap shoot what you are getting.
Anyway, I'm kind of holding out for the really good stuff now that Owen's return is imminent. We're having to use email due to his wife's suspicious nature and I swear it's almost as painful as waiting for a letter in the mail. How did people do this back in the day where you had to actually wait for a handwritten letter?? We've pretty much secured that we're meeting Thursday evening on his way home from work. I am so e-x-c-i-t-e-d!!
Canada is just being given the boot. I'm over it...I don't have time for nor do I want clingy in my life right now. Andy 26 is the perfect combo of not clingy, but pays enough attention to me and clearly Owen meets my needs in a way that no other ever has before, so why mess around with this guy? I'm going to order my own glass toy and go from there, but I'm waiting until I get a coupon because it was expensive when you added in the shipping. LOL, yep I'm bargain toy shopping these days.

I've Got Balls of Steel

Well to put an exclamation point on the end of a very weird, off the wall week, I had quite an interesting experience on my date with Motorcycle Man (MM) last night.

After spending an entire long, super hot day at the pool with the kids, Josie, Gwyn (who please note is not giving me the silent treatment despite her earlier threats), and a bunch of other girls, I shepherded off the kids to my mom’s for the night. MM wanted me to come out to his place, about 45 minutes from mine, and plan to stay the night even though he knew sex was off the table. So I get myself together and headed out his way.

When I got there, MM greeted me with a big hug and kiss. Then he offered me some wine, which I of course accepted. He whipped open the fridge, grabbed his BOX of wine and proceeded to squeeze out every drop into two plastic cups for us to take with us in the car. Now there is nothing wrong with a good box of wine but it was so typically MM it cracked me up.

So we headed off to dinner and true to form, the radar signal went off and I started getting texted by College Crush and Cabana Boy lol. Thankfully, MM doesn’t care if I text so I was able to take care of both of them. We had a GREAT dinner and lots of good conversation and laughter. All was well in the world.

Next we headed to this local martini/cigar bar to listen to a soul/Motown band. Not exactly MM’s scene but he was willing to go to please me. While we were there we had some of the best people watching ever. The crowd was a really weird mixture of single women/men in their 40s and 50s along with a health dose of what looked like college kids. Seeing these old ladies whipping out their wrinkly cleavage and shaking it on the dance floor sent me into peels of laughter time and time again. And just watching how the old men and women were giving each other the eye and hooking up was quite hysterical.

Now this place is like a lounge with lots of loveseats and club chairs. MM and I were sitting on a loveseat and there was another loveseat facing us about 3 feet away. In came a couple who sat right there and started practically groping each other. The girl was clearly a good bit younger than the guy and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and mentally make fun of the pairing for their obvious age difference. After a while of my mental degrading of this couple, I had a revelation….this couple, looked totally like me and MM! I bet the girl was my age and the guy was around MMs age. Again this caused me to laugh and I sort of felt embarrassed thinking everyone was thinking about us what I was thinking about them. I mean it’s not that MM is not a nice looking man and all but there is about a 12 year age difference and on top of that, I look relatively young for my age. Not many people think I’m 34 so I’m sure it looks more like a 15 or so year age difference. At least we were better behaved than this couple!

So while we’re sitting there I notice this super cute guy back over MM’s shoulder. He looked to be about my age and he was really good looking. He was sitting by himself with a drink texting almost as much as me – HA! Our eyes met a few times and I just smiled and looked away figuring he was waiting on a date and well I was on a date so…. For about the next 45 minutes I kept my eye on him and more often than not, he was staring back at me. We both kept smiling and it was quite entertaining. I can’t believe I was having eye sex with a guy while I was on a date with a different guy!

I sent MM on a couple “errands” to the bar to try to give this guy a moment to introduce himself or something but nothing seemed to be working. I was sending him mental messages to figure out a way to give me his number or pick up on the fact that I was interested. Hell I did everything but mime a blowjob! I mean we were clearly looking at each other a lot and liking it but I just couldn’t figure out how to circumvent MM to talk to this guy. It was about time for me and MM to wrap it up so I sat there contemplating what to do about this cutie and then I did something I didn’t think I had the balls to do. I hopped up to excuse myself to the restroom for a minute, gave this guy a very direct look and smile and strolled across the room. I found a scrap of paper in my purse and wrote a short note saying since he liked texting so much he should text me sometime and put my name/number on it. Then I flagged down a waitress and asked her to give it to him. I can’t believe I had the balls to 1 – give out my number unsolicited like that, 2 – to give it out in that manner, and 3 – to give it out when I was on a date with another dude!

Anyways, I walked back to MM and out of the corner of my eye I saw the waitress give him the note. When he read it he smiled really big and started laughing. I couldn’t even look his way the next 5 minutes because I was afraid I’d start laughing at my own audacity. So MM and I head back to his place and MM gets a phone call from his ex. She’s got their daughter and they’ve been down at the beach and she’s decided they are laving at 12:30 at night and she’s bring the daughter home to MM. Despite MM’s pleas for me to still stay the night I was determined to not be there when his daughter got home. I just don’t think it sets the right tone or example even if MM slept on the couch like he promised. So we head back to his place and true to form, the radar goes off and I start getting texted by College Crush and then …the cute guy from the bar starts texting me!

We texted back and forth for a bit and I assured him MM was not my boyfriend and that it was just a casual date. We texted even more as I drove home and eventually switched to talking on the phone. He’s 36, some sort of super fancy IT analyst who specializes in securing confidential data for his clients, he used to own his own business but sold it about a year ago, he lives in a very nice part of town, owns his own home (with a hot tub), never married, no kids, was in the Air force for about 5 years, runs like 30 miles a week, and oddly his birthday is just a few days after mine!

He told me he was actually texting his mom from the bar. He said he’d sent her a message earlier in the day and hadn’t heard back from her and so she finally answered him. Said he told her he’d just call her today but she wouldn’t stop texting him even after he told her he was at a bar LOL. He also told me he was quite impressed by my bravado and that he had been sitting there trying to figure out how to talk to me but he didn’t want to intrude on another guys date.

We actually had a great conversation and so far this guy definitely seems Team Miranda worthy! He suggested we meet up today so we can have a proper introduction. I can’t believe I picked up a guy while I was on a date! Who am I these days????

Stay tuned….

Miranda (aka The Pimp)

PS After I got off the phone with the new cutie, College Crush called me. He’s clearly staring to thaw towards me after all the drama of this week. I really need to figure out what to do about him!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Christmas in July

Well the universe must not be punishing me too much, because he's back!! Owen emailed me tonight saying that "the storm has cleared". He's free to play again. Holy fuck, I've played out what my "appropriate" response would be a 1000 times. You know...how I would not fall back into that routine with him, but clearly I am going to do just that. Feel free to judge me, I don't care b/c I'll be smiling thanks to the fucking awesome sex returning my way. I'm even willing to take the karmic hits. The sex really is THAT good. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning right now!

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Universe Is Out to Get Me!

What in the universe is going on? This week has already been all sorts of crazy from the Sunday debacle to crushing College Crush to my “community health” issue. I mean really? The planets must be so out of alignment!

Last night continued in the vein of crazy. I was chilling out, watching TV, playing on the computer, and yes, checking my PoF account when all sorts of crazy things started happening.

First, not crazy but actually a good thing, a guy I’ve been talking too finally made the move to ask me out. He’s 38, divorced, a couple of kids, cute, a little country, and most excitingly seemingly well off. He owns three companies – a construction company, a printing company, and a security company. Interesting, very interesting….we’re supposed to meet up next week after the kids go back to Duckie. Maybe I’ve found my Sugar Daddy? LOL!

Then I was exchanging messages with this other guy who was really cute. We bantered back and forth for a while and he clearly passed all the crazy tests so when he asked if he could friend me on Facebook I agreed. I accepted his friend request and then signed off for a bit.

About this time guess who started Im’ing me…. FJB! Yes! What in the world? I mentioned earlier this week he still Facebooks with me but he hasn’t answered the few emails I’ve sent him directly. The last one I sent him I told him he was weird because he’s Facebook with me all day long but would never email me back. So FJB pops up and we spent like two hours chatting. He was asking all sorts of stuff about guys I’ve been dating and telling me about his disastrous dates. FYI – to date I’m still the only girl who has gotten past date #2 with him; he’s fucking picky as hell. We talk about all kinds of crazy stuff and actually had a really good conversation. At times the conversation felt like maybe he was trying to feel me out about going out again but who knows. I told him he has issues and he countered by saying I had a boatload of issues. Maybe I do but I’m still not as crazy as all these boys! This conversation was so out of the blue! I mean really! I wonder if he’s going to go back into hibernation now.

As FJB and I wrapped up our conversation the cute guy I’d been talking with sent me a couple messages through Facebook. Turns out he knows my mom, and not just knows her, he works in the same freaking department as her! WTF!!!!!! And even crazier, he was at my dad’s funeral and remembers hearing me speak at it. I remember meeting all these people from my mom’s work and I bet we actually even met. How weird is that shit? When I talked to my mom today I debated on telling her about that but decided to hold off to see if he actually asks me out first.

Then this morning when I dropped Leo off at day camp, his super hot day camp director started chatting me up. Now please note I looked totally gross and greasy. I skipped out on work today to get a day of pool time in so my hair was a mess and I had thrown on the most random sundress I have. No make up on whatsoever. Least normally he seems me dressed for work. This guy is HOT! He looks a lot like H3 (remember him) only hotter! We talked and flirted for a few minutes before the realization of what I looked like dawned on me and then I jetted quickly. Sadly he will only be there one more week but I may have to take a little extra time in the mornings to chat him up when I drop off Leo.

Please note all of this is much to Gwyn’s dismay lol. She says I’m broadcasting some sort of signal and I need to find a way to turn it off. I think it’s too ingrained in me at this point lol.

What a crazy freaking week! Good thing I have the kids for 7 days which keeps me on lockdown. The universe is really messing with me!


There's Something About the Young Ones

Ok for years I've sworn off younger men...ick. I mean I don't have that whole getting older and need to justify my hotness and sexuality by sleeping with someone half my age thing that men my age seem to possess...but I have to say it is a big fat ego boost when a guy that is 8 years younger than you can hardly wait to put his hands on your body. Andy 26 and I had our date tonight. I was late because I got caught up stalking a baby monk seal here today and so there was no sushi, but instead straight to pomegranate martinis and HOT 26 year old sex. I've been discussing a lot lately about how I like a strong man and Andy 26 fits that bill. When we have sex, he just sort of takes me...he doesn't ask or wait for permission or instructions, he just does it. I love that in a guy. He puts me exactly where he wants me and does amazing things to my body. He loves kissing, so I still get the intimacy and after we cum, we're done. I don't have to hang out or have him hanging around for hours on end discussing life or watching each other breathe. I'm just saying if I decide married/attached men really aren't my thing in life (which would only be out of an effort to rid the bad karma at this point), younger might be the way for me to go. Sadly I did find out today that out of the 2 years Andy 26 had left in HI, he's going to be deployed for two 7 month stretches, one of which will commence in a few months. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but just that it could put a damper on him being a consistent fuck buddy. ;)
PS We're playing with new backgrounds...let us know what you think. I got that the first red one was hard to read, so let us know if you like this one!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Place Your Bets!

Well all of Team Miranda has been notified about our little “issue.”  Lawyer Boy finally called me back today after I left yet another message that sounded seriously like I was knocked up.  Not the nicest tactic to get someone’s attention but it worked. 

He started out the conversation with his usual apologies for being so distracted and busy and I had to cut him off and cut to the chase.  When I told him what was going on the first words out of his mouth were, “Oh my God, I was sure you were pregnant!”  So I guess my script worked LOL!  Then he said, “Oh my God, are you ok?  Are you furious with me? I’m so sorry. I didn’t know I had anything…”  He was quite stunned and concerned.

I reassured him I wasn’t mad and that it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.  It could have been much more awful (just imagine what my blog posts would have been if I had turned up pregnant!  That’d be a whole lot of paternity testing!).  I could tell his mind was going a million miles a minute so I went ahead and laid out the symptoms, how it’s diagnosed, and what the treatment was.  He was seriously stunned and must have apologized about a million times.  He’s going to go get tested hopefully in the next day or so.

We talked for a little while longer and he calmed down some.  I kept telling him it was ok lol.  We talked a little bit about the Bar and how he was freaking out.  I actually feel kind of bad for telling him now before the Bar but ultimately I still think it was good to go ahead and get it out of the way.  Hopefully I haven’t totally blown his concentration.

Lawyer Boy told me he wants us to hang out as soon as the Bar is over.  He said we’ll keep it “platonic” until we’re all clear! LMFAO!  He also said he missed me….girly sigh.

So until the test results start coming back in, it’s anybody’s game.  I still think timing wise it is Lawyer Boy and I think Jules is putting her money on Cabana Boy.  I think Gwyn is perplexed by it all and not ready to put her money on anyone yet.  I’m going to be pissed it if is Cabana Boy because then I’ve put all these other guys through the wringer for nothing.  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

In other news, Motorcycle Man is obsessed again but at least this time I’ve already been really clear about the status of our “relationship.”  He wants to take me out Saturday and I think I’m going to go.  College Crush is texting me a little more regularly again but I can definitely tell he’s still trying to make up his mind about where we are headed.

Sawyer suckered me into hanging out with him a bit today.  The minute Gwyn reads this she’s going to text me and text yell at me.  We behaved though!  We just hung out for about 45 minuets and talked and joked around. He’s off to New Jersey to see family for the next week so he’s going to be MIA.  He’s heard me mention Gwyn’s name enough that he asked me if she knew about us. I told him she did and that she didn’t approve of him because he’s always messing with my head.  That made him laugh big time.  It was actually sort of nice to just hang out with him like a friend.  I sometimes forget that we had been on the way to a real friendship before all the sex and emotions got in the way.  Anyways, I will be truthful and say we did kiss a couple times but all in all it was very platonic. 

So now I’m just waiting around to see what the boys find out from their respective doctors, still trying to figure out what to do with College Crush, and keep Motorcycle Man realistic about going out with me.  And I have to say I’d been feeling very discouraged about Lawyer Boy but after talking to him today I have some real hope for us spending some time together after the Bar is over.

I’m still shocked how well everyone took the news of our community health issue.  Thank heavens!


Antelopes and Lions

I was driving home from work today and texting with Canada intermittently and talking to Miranda on the telephone and pondering exactly why I have commitment issues. I mean I know that I'm getting out of a decade long relationship and now is NOT the time for me to be jumping into some other type of committed relationship, but what exactly is my issue? Then, it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. Once a man shows me his weakness (which for me is telling me ALL of your feelings for me in the first 2 weeks or less after we meet - Hungarian, Canada), I'm over it. You are no longer attractive to me if I find you weak. I like men that keep me guessing and by this appear strong and in control of themselves. I mean I want to know that you're into me, but I do NOT want to know every single fucking time you think about me all day long. Russell was like that for a long time. I knew we loved each other in the friendship sense and then we sort of morphed into our relationship, but he was never super sappy, romantic, over the top expressing his emotional shit and I've appreciated that. He would certainly tell me that he loved me every day and was very thoughtful with gestures, so I didn't wonder but I also didn't have to listen to him process every thought either.
Initially I had agreed to have Canada come over tonight, but as the day loomed and I continued to get multiple texts from him I started rethinking this and really deciding that I just wasn't in the mood. I've got PMS this week, but on top of it I started subbing other guys in his place in my mind and I would have totally liked for some of them to show up tonight instead of him. Finally, he asked the question of whether I needed some more time and I said I did. I told him that everything he said yesterday overwhelmed the crap out of me and that I needed some more time to process and see if I can get past this. He's been giving me this whole song and dance routine tonight about how he thought he had to express those feelings to get me to be into him and that sex without attachment is a new concept for him, one that he likes very much and now that he understands the rules is totally willing to play by them and put his feelings aside. I'm not really buying it and I think it's a matter of time before I have to have this convo with him yet again. So, do I cut him loose now and move on or do I wait to see if he really can do it? He's pretty great in bed (although not hung like I like) and readily available anytime I want some. I like that aspect and he's close by, but my god is it worth the bullshit?! I mean I can buy myself a glass toy.
I'm currently looking forward to my date at Andy 26's house tomorrow night for sushi and sex. He just got out of relationship, so I hope that when he says he doesn't want another one right now, that he really means it. I also hope that he doesn't decide to jump right back into it after the sting of her cheating goes away (Gavin). I find him super hot, he can carry on a conversation,  and he sort of took me that first night. I like a guy that controls me like that in bed...again because I equate that with a strong personality. His only flaw right now is his age, but I can get over that easier than I can some guy telling me how I breathe in conjunction with the tide.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Patient Zero - Updated 10:45 pm - We have a potential candidate!

Fuck me. No wait, don't. I have chlaymidia.  Heard from the doctor and my results are positive.  This is what I get for being slack about safe sex. Never again my friends, never again.  So now I've had an afternoon and evening of fun filled phone calls.

Despite my levity about the scripted phone call, this really sucks and I feel really bad.  Hopefully they will take the news as well as I took it from Cabana Boy.

The one I've been most worried about telling is Sawyer. Given his penchant for playing games with my head and the fact that oh, he's married, it could be the worst of all.  I actually sent him an email right after the doctor called and I stopped pounding the trunk of my car and repeatedly saying the word "Fuck" as Gwyn laughed at me.  He immediately called me with his worst fear being that our affair had been discovered.  When I told him, he actually took it in great spirits all things considered.  He's going to go get tested and he swears he hasn't had sex with the wife since before he and I started our relationship so seems that all might just be ok there.

Loco Soco is next on the list and I just texted him and told him to call me.  He's tried and tried to get me to tell him via text. I didn't want to but I eventually gave in after he claimed he didn't even have two minutes to talk.  My initial answer to that was, "Well call me whenever you find time and don't have sex with anyone until we talk." LOL.  When I finally told him, he seemed to take it just fine. No big deal and he's going to go to the doctor asap.

I sent the Giant an email because he is still overseas.  The email said something to the effect of, "Hey. Happy early Birthday.  Hope you're safe and sound. Get in touch with me via cell or email ASAP. I have something we need to discuss."  Yep, his birthday is next week. This is one hell of a birthday present to give someone.  The Giant called me this evening and turns out before he was sent overseas he was checked and he was clean! He was super sweet about everything too.

I wanted to call Motorcycle Man this afternoon but somehow shouting out "I have an STD and you may too" while he drives down the road with is windows open in his UPS truck just didn't seem the gentlest way to break the news.  I talked to him this evening and told him I was pretty sure it was after him but that he might want to get checked.  He was just fine about everything though he did feel compelled to lecture me about safe sex and how I'm a pretty girl who is too smart to sleep around. LOL.  I had to point out that he didn't offer to put on a condom and asked if he was going to listen to his own advice.  He laughed and said probably not because he hates condoms. He also said I should get "cleaned up" and only have sex with him in the future. That I could date as many guys as I wanted as long as he was my only sexual partner.  Hilarious!

So looking at my flowchart of sexual partners, it pretty much narrows it down to none other than ..... LAWYER BOY!  Not 100% but pretty damn definite. I know.  I can't believe it either. I guess it's true, all lawyers really are dirty.

Despite my earlier intentions of holding back the information from Lawyer Boy I feel compelled to tell him sooner rather than later. So I sent his ADD self a text saying that I hoped he was feeling ready for the Bar next week and to please call me ASAP because I had something important to tell him.  Knowing him, I'll have to call/text him a hundred times before I actually speak to him.  I also left him a message this evening saying I received some "surprising" news from the DR today that he should know.  I'm going to give him another 24 hours and then I may show up on his doorstep and a fake pregnancy test lol.

College Crush and Flyboy are in the clear because we've always used protection so the plan is not to tell them anything for now.  I'm asking everyone to let me know if they are infected or not. That should help confirm my suspicions that it's the Dirty Lawyer Boy.

I keep apologizing to these people but it's really not my fault. I mean it's not like they were trying to put on a condom and I yanked it off. Still this is annoying and mildly entertaining which tells you just how sick and twisted my sense of humor is.  I will say I've been greatly impressed by the good spirits all the team has taken the news in.  Despite their many individual flaws, they are all really nice guys.  Thank God for Jules and Gwyn who have kept me laughing about this.

Fuck me (with a condom).


PS - Incidentally, there is an online resource where you can send anonymous (or identified) e-cards telling people they need to get tested for an STD.  Crazy and funny but who would think it was for real if they received one?  Check it out at http://www.inspot.org.  This is my favorite...

Breathlessly Waiting

Just a quick update. Still no word on the test results. Hopefully they will come in today and hopefully they will be all clear. In the event they are not and I have to make some phone call to past and present team members, I have crafted a stunningly devious script that will imply that I'm calling to tell said boy that I'm "in the family way" only to reveal at the last second that it's just an STD alert. Gwyn and I had quite a laugh at that last night. Maybe they will feel so relieved to not be my Baby Daddy that it will be no big deal. That being said, I'm still hoping and praying for a negative test result.

Elsewhere in my world, College Crush and I have been texting though it was mighty slow and distant until last night. Guess he's still punishing me. Motorcycle Man is texting up a storm; it's like we never even missed a beat. I officially gave Nerd Boy the heave ho yesterday via text telling him he was lovely and all but reminded me way too much of my ex. He took it quite well and suggested that I keep him number "in my little black book" in case I ever wanted an evening out on the town. I'll bet you $50 right now Nerd Boy actually owns a little black book that he keeps his numbers in LOL! Flyboy is at home in Maryland so he's out of commission at the moment.  Since SoCo went loco (thanks for that gem Josie), I'm not communicating with him at all and I'm leaving Lawyer Boy alone as these are the final few days before the Bar exam and I know he has not one iota of attention span for me at the moment. Though I will send him a cheery good luck text the day before the exam.

The other guys I've been evaluating on POF are all still around but annoying me because they are being too slow to move things to the next level. Though there is a new guy who is not as hot as some of the others but he does own three different businesses. Maybe I'll find a sugar daddy after all....


Saturn is Fucking Up My World

Today has just been a super weird day...from the moment I got up until now. Canada took today off to spend with me and while I had an early appointment in town that did not require his presence, he still felt compelled to ride with me. I am not a morning person, unless I'm getting sex and quite honestly rarely am I ever in the mood for chatting before about 9am. I can text, but no verbal communication needs to occur. Well apparently I set the tone for the day because that man said about 10 words all day while we were together. Here's all the rest of the initial weird. We drove the almost hour into town in virtual silence, of which I was thankful for. When we got there, I asked what he was going to do and he actually asked if he could come in with me...um, no. Then I had my meeting and you would think he would have asked something, anything about it since he had wanted to attend it but he did not. So I started texting Russell and Miranda and telling them about it and how overwhelmed I am by it all. My meeting was with my college advisor about my practicum for my Masters (I'm not really a stupid whore for all of you that don't know me personally.) and I realized that I have to work my normal 20 hour a week job, do 16 hours of practicum work a week all semester, and attend classes. Holy Fuck...bye bye time with my kid, bye bye social life, bye bye sanity, bye bye sleeping.
We drive up to a beach which is deserted for the most part and I'd told him some very sexual things I'd wanted him to do to me out there today, but in light of our non communication and my not responding to his constant need to have his hand somewhere on my body...I guess he decided I wasn't in the mood. He just kept staring at me (which I finally yelled at him for b/c it's just a little unnerving) and lightly rubbing my arm...I hate that shit. I'm not a pet...don't just pet my arms and stuff...gag. At one point he uttered this phrase to me, which just made me laugh at him...literally. "I can easily see how you could be someone's paradise." Clearly my non verbal communication was not reaching him until sometime later in the day. I finally ended our misery out on the beach. I actually was quite relaxed once I made him stop watching me breathe. He told me that my breaths were x times in relation to the waves...seriously first of all who watches someone breathe like that and then who relates it to the ocean and then tells the other person. Back in my town as I was dropping him off at his bike (which I refuse to ride), he tried to kiss me again and I kind of dead fished him and said "bye". He got out and sent me a text about 15 minutes later saying "Thank you for sharing your morning with me. I hope I haven't, but I feel may have invaded it on you. Enjoy your afternoon with Chloe.". I responded that today had been weird and that I'm very independent and that I needed this to slow down big time. I'm overwhelmed by what I'm facing at the moment and need to re-prioritize (essentially using this as my out for not being in a relationship). Now other than my slight slip the other night of telling him I had a crush on him (which I'm obviously over), I have been very firm in not wanting to be involved in any type of committed relationship. I've said it 83 ways to Sunday. So he keeps up the texting and I eventually tell him that I'm too busy to have this convo right now, but I'll text him at 6pm after I drop Chloe off at dance class. He said he understood and then throughout the afternoon proceeded to send me 29 texts professing his feelings for me. I won't elaborate on all of them because it made me throw up a little in my mouth reading them, so I won't put you readers through it too, but holy mother of god the man is nuts. I can't even explain how unnerving those texts were and they just kept coming. I finally responded at 6pm and told him that I do like him, I do like the sex, but if we are to hang out he's got to keep these feelings to himself. He didn't respond for 3 hours saying that he fell asleep but will control his feelings if that's what I need. I'm questioning this b/c clearly he could not contain them all afternoon. I mean he made some good points as to why I should keep him around, but honestly how many times does a woman have to tell you in a week and a half that she has commitment issues only to listen to how much you are into her?? I know that sounds like a ridiculous thing to complain about since so many people in the world want exactly what I don't...but I don't right now.
Ok, so in the midst of this I'm setting up to meet Andy 26. Oh that was another thing I told Canada...that I wanted to be free to see other people as well. He's glossed over that. Anyway, Andy 26 wanted to come up tonight but my kid/Russell situation was just too tight tonight and so we were discussing options and he mentioned he was making himself sushi for dinner. I love sushi and he said if I wanted to come to his house on Thursday, he would gladly prepare me some for dinner.
Now in the midst of this I get this random text from a guy named Clint. Clint is military and we hooked up once sometime early last year. He's married with a young kid and has very little free time. His family was on the mainland the one time we met, but randomly he'll text the crap out of me. I talked to him a lot last July for about a week via text and then he disappeared again until around the holidays. We texted once or twice and then nothing. I assumed he'd left the island, actually in all honestly I hadn't really thought about him again. He's a super cute guy and hung like a fucking horse, but it just seemed a one night stand and you guys know it's pretty much out of sight, out of mind with me. Well today he starts up a firestorm of texting...I mean it went on for like 3 hours and he's vowed that when he gets back from the East Coast next week, he's going to find a way to see me again. I'll believe it when I see it, but whatever sometimes sexting is hot too.
Then in the midst of this, Russell sends me a text asking me if he could take me to dinner on our anniversary, which is early next month. I mean it's just a gesture of friendship, please don't read into it...just weird timing considering the rest of my day. I accepted his offer though, but am not sure how I feel about "celebrating" that day. I thought we would be in a much different place on our 10th anniversary.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Crushing a Crush

So I may have accidently crushed College Crush’s crush Sunday. Finally, after much delay and jockeying around for position we talked last night. Basically he said he was upset by my behavior between me telling him we were not really “dating” via text (I don’t remember saying it exactly that way but who knows) and then my disappearing (when my phone died the first time) after telling him I was hanging out with a bunch of guys by the pool. Then by my reappearing sometime later and telling him I was hanging out with the guys again and doing the recreational activity stuff and disappearing again (when my phone died the second time).

He said every time he has ever done that stuff with a girl it has ended up going somewhere it shouldn’t and that he knows way too many guys whose whole MO is getting girls drunk and high and then taking advantage of them. He said between all that yesterday he felt like I was throwing it in his face that I was hanging out with a guy or guys other than him and that I didn’t care about his feelings. He said if the situation were reversed, I’d have reacted the same way. And though I’m annoyed by all this drama, I have to admit he’s right.

Weirdly, I thought I was just being open and honest Sunday with him telling him, what I was doing and who I was doing it with. Letting him know it was all good but I guess it came across all wrong. Despite my reluctance to admit it, I can totally see his point of view and how things on Sunday could have been totally misconstrued. He also noted that there have been a couple times in the past when we’ve been texting and I’ve said stuff flippantly that have made him wonder just exactly why I would say that stuff to him. I guess maybe in my attempt to be as transparent as possible I’ve blurred that friend/dating line some with him.

It’s hard because we’re not exactly “dating” due to distance but we’re way more than friends. I don’t know. Now I feel bad because I hurt his feelings and have caused all this unnecessary drama and potentially broke things down between us. I told Jules last night as I sat on the couch and contemplated all this that I can’t quite figure out if I’m upset because I hurt a good friend’s feelings or if I’m upset because I like “like” him. I guess that’s the problem with keeping myself in this whole limbo state and juggling boys.

So I don’t know what’s going to happen with him. Overall, it was really a civil conversation and after we were done, we ended up texting for a while longer while we were both lying in bed. I think a big part of the problem is he realized maybe he was in deeper than I was and now he’s evaluating if it’s worth it. He did tell me he wanted me to text him today, unlike yesterday when he wanted no contact. We shall see how the day proceeds and I guess I need to figure out what exactly I want from College Crush.

Despite all my boy jugging, I really don’t want to play with anyone’s emotions and I do try to tell the truth about my activities as much as possible, not that I always meet that goal.

And even more shitty is that this is not the first time I've heard I'm careless with my words and how the affect the men in my life. Duckie told me more than once that I unconsciously threw out barbs that hurt and didn't think about what I was saying to him. Clearly I have a pattern here I need to work on.

In other random news, Motorcycle Man randomly messaged me through POF. He said he loved my new pictures and wanted me to call him. I did call him last night and he’s the same old Motorcycle Man. He wants to hang out next week and I told him we could. Even FJB despite his weirdness still posts stuff on my Facebook page. And Sawyer is working hard to try to get me to meet him for a little quality time, which I’m not – regardless of the potential STD. I’m committed to not going back down that path again.

These boys are like boomerangs, you throw them away, and they keep coming back.


Old, Alone, and Riddled with Cancer

I know I've been a blogging fiend these past few days, but I've had some funny stuff to share. This one made me almost wreck my car. I was talking to my Mama yesterday on the way around the island. My mama is one of the best story tellers in the universe. She's a very funny woman and her spin on things almost always leaves me in peels of laughter. Yesterday she was talking about my grandmother and my cousin. My cousin is 26 years old and is dating a guy that is 29 years old. He's in the military and they have been dating for about 6-9 months now. My grandparents are old school Georgia. Currently my cousin is in Europe with this boyfriend on vacation. My grandfather is convinced this is his way of test driving their relationship to see if they enjoy 2 weeks together on vacation before coming back to ask her to marry him, or take their relationship to the next level as my grandfather phrased it. My grandparents were talking to my mother about this the day before at her house when she tells me that as soon as my grandfather expressed this sentiment and my mother said he was nuts, my grandmother launches into a story that she's told my cousin as well about a lady that she went to high school with back in the 1940s that never married and recently died old, alone, and "riddled with cancer" having no one to take care of her affairs. My grandmother thought this cautionary tale would motivate my cousin to want to move things along as well because clearly in the South if you are over 23 and unmarried you are essentially an Old Maid and just waiting to become the neighborhood's crazy old cat lady. I questioned my mother on why she thought my grandmother had not thought to share this cautionary tale with her soon be divorced other granddaughter and we decided it's because I have Chloe, so she knows someone will be around to take care of my affairs. Classic story...almost as good as asking how will I eat once I no longer live with Russell.
PS Andy 26 flew in last night at 4:30pm and emailed me tonight at 7:45pm...I love it. We're hanging out later this week. He wanted to do something tonight, but I'm too tired from my sleepover. A girl needs her rest sometimes in between the boys.

Smell You

I finally asked Russell the other day if I have a certain smell. You guys may remember how Chile smelled me during our times together and how much it creeped me out. He would literally put his nose to me and inhale. I’m not talking graphic stuff either, I mean he would do this on my back and neck. If you have never had anyone do this to you, let me assure you it’s strange. Canada talks frequently about my smell too (of which Russell denies every really noticing but admits he has a horrible sense of smell as well). Canada smells me too, but in a much less dramatic fashion than Chile and in a way that I can deal with due to his covert way about doing it. It’s still strange hearing someone talk about it though and he does a lot. It reminds me of that perfume, Realm. Remember that from the late 90s? It was this perfume that supposedly interacted with your pheromones to send out your aroma into the world. I’m thinking I don’t need their product.


Monday, July 19, 2010

Could You Be Loved?

I was listening to Bob on the way to work and reflecting on my evening/morning with Canada. A friend of mine had Chloe for me since our schedules are nuts on Mondays and so I was child free to spend the night at Canada’s. I’m usually not a big fan of overnights, but in this case it worked out so that I was closer to work this morning and it didn’t make sense to drive back to my town in the middle of the night to drive right back through his a few hours later, plus this way I could get some more before work too.

Canada has been ok with keeping his feelings in check since I told him I have a crush on him too. He’s blowing up my phone daily, but otherwise pretty good about not expressing anything too overtly. He made me another awesome dinner last night complete with a dessert and we spent a long time doing some really fun things. He woke me up this morning 4 hours later at 5:30am rubbing my back and kissing me before he left for PT. He came back right after PT and we had some really nice morning fun before I had to get up for my shower. He made me coffee and sent me to work with leftovers from last night for lunch. As he was cooking me dinner last night, we were discussing my favorite foods. I made an offhanded comment about how if he can fry squash and okra, I’ll probably marry him. WTF was I thinking? You never say something like that to a guy that’s this ready for a commitment. He replied with “Yeah, but I know not for 2 years.”. I’ve told him I’m not going to formally divorce Russell for 2 years while I’m in school. Dear Lord, why do I drink too much wine and let stupid stuff leave my mouth?

He told me last night that he might be going to a SE Asian country next month for a month with the military, but it seems he found out today that he wouldn’t have a passport soon enough. I’d thought that would be a good breather to see where we’re at, but alas. He told me he didn’t know how he could be gone from me for that long. Then he told me he finds out next month whether or not he’s being extended here for 3 more years. I told him he needs to stay b/c he wants to anyway and not because of me. I am thinking about whether or not I could be with him though, for the short term. He treats me like a goddess, he hangs onto my every word, and he’s rocking my world at the moment…why not be with him? Oh yeah, because I hate monogamy.

Andy 33 resurfaced yesterday as I was shopping at an art festival. I sent him some minimal texts back and he wasn’t really asking to see me, just kind of checking in I guess. He’s a weird one it seems. I think Andy 26 comes back sometime around the end of this week, so I’m curious whether or not I’ll hear from him and if I do where it will go with Canada. I was also texting with Miranda this morning about Owen and pondering whether or not he will resurface next month when his wife goes back to work. I doubt Gavin will resurface as long as things are good with his gf. He’s been in NJ for the month of July and since he doesn’t live 2 doors over from me anymore, we’re not in each other’s constant visual. I have no intentions of contacting him though because as I was telling Miranda he likes to screw with my emotions too, much as Sawyer does to her. That’s a really unfair thing to do when you’re attached…seriously.


Holy Hell! AKA The Day Team Miranda Potentially Implodes

I don’t even know how to start this post. Yesterday was a cosmic slam-dunk in the drama department. Maybe it was karma biting me, no kicking the hell out of my ass, for proclaiming Saturday night to be a waste of freedom. It’s gonna be a long post, so buckle up and hold on for dear life.

It all started so innocently. A day filled with hours lounging by the pool improving upon my already dark Hawaiian Tropic tan. A few hours of peace and quite go by with minimal texting between me and College Crush and me and Soco. Lots of hilarious texting with Gwyn as usual. Then Cabana Boy shows up. I have been sick of the whole moping and awkwardness so I put forth a brave smile and chatted him up. Then out comes Pool John. I’m sandwiched between the two of them when Soco goes insane. I had invited him over to swim and he hemmed, hawed, and finally declined. I asked him what was up, that’s like three times now he has bailed on hanging out.

I got back these rambling texts about not wanting some accounting for his time and being free and that I’m a great girl and he wants me to be his friend. I asked what in the world he was talking about and he said that our personalities were on opposite ends of the spectrum. Huh? About this point I’m figuring he’s on Quaaludes or something cause he’s making no sense. I told him he’d utterly confused me and I thought we were just hanging out and having fun. To this I got a response of he has a 100 people like that in his life and he’s a “1 man wolf pack.” WHAT? He’s seriously high. I said ok, but you’re the one who said you wanted to date me; I was just following your lead. He then said he didn’t want a serious relationship and that he’s busy, blah, blah. What? I didn’t ask him to be in a relationship! Finally, I just said I was cool with whatever but that I was extremely confused. His final text, “I said my peace. Don’t want to argue or have drama.” Were we having two separate conversations here? I’m seriously thinking he’s delusional. Ok Soco. Whatever you want! I’m voting you off the Isle of Miranda. Weird! During this conversation, I should note that Pool John tells me how much Cabana Boy likes me and Cabana Boy tells me how much Pool John likes me. WTF???

So shortly after that weirdness College Crush is texting me. Now about this time me and my pool buddies started drinking. At some point in my texting conversation with College Crush, we made a wager about who drinks more in a week’s time. He said something about no cheating, and I made the stupid mistake of saying I’m not a cheater anymore. Of course, this piqued his attention and he asked what I meant. I told him the bare minimum about Sawyer and then he asked if I’d been seeing other guys. Ummmmmmm, did I start being his girlfriend without knowing it??? I debated on what to say and ultimately said no but you know I go out a lot and stuff. Just felt like this was a conversation that needed to be done face to face not over text. So he tells me he’s not seeing anyone either and he knows we’ve not talking about anything relationship wise and we’ve got the whole distance thing. He even referenced my alibi for my Friday night date with Nerd Boy and called me out on his name being a girl or guy’s name. Guess College Crush is really keeping close tabs on me at this point. At this point, I’m freaking out a little and my phone is getting really low on the battery.

So then, Pool John and Cabana Boy start talking about recreational activities, as in illegal recreational activities. Somehow, it comes up in conversation that I have a connection to these activities through Gwyn’s Barber. Next thing I know I’m coordinating a deal and realizing that mine and Gwyn’s worlds are colliding. It’s about 7:30ish at this point, so I’ve had a full 8 hours of pool time and about six beers. So Cabana Boy goes trotting off to meet up with the Barber to procure these recreational activities. I’m sitting at the pool with Pool John who now tells me how hurt he was the night I went and hooked up with Soco. What? Something else was said and I realized that despite their chumminess, neither Soco nor Cabana Boy has told anyone about us hooking up. I guess some guys do have manners after all.

Anyways. We pack up and head to our respective places to shower up and change. My phone has completely died at this point so I plug it in to charge up while I shower. Of course, as soon as I plug it in it explodes with messages from College Crush asking if I’m still hanging out and who I’m with. I tell him I’m showering and that I was hanging out with my guy friends by the pool and we are reconvening to hang out a little more. Which is all true because I was going over to Cabana Boy’s apartment for the recreational activities and he said some friends were coming over there too. Everything seems fine and good.

Cabana Boy gets back from meeting the Barber and I head over to his place. I’m gonna admit I had on a very low cut dress that showed off my lovely tan lines to the best of its ability. So I get up to Cabana Boy’s place and voila, no friends just us and the recreational activities. Okayyyyy. So whatever, we actually hashed out the weirdness between us and we were just hanging out and recreational activitying in a way I’ve never before lol. It was quite fun and exciting causing me to multi-texts Josie, Gwyn, and Jules. Then the texts from College Crush start up. I bet for about 2 hours he texted me every 20 minutes asking if I was home yet. Each time I told him no, I was hanging out with my friends. Everything seemed ok still. Incidentally, Cabana Boy told me how much he is attracted to me and asked if I wanted to make out. I said no LOL! He even straight out asked me if I’d slept with Soco to which I said no.

Then, bear with me for the humiliation I’m potentially about to unleash, Cabana Boy tells me we need to talk about something. Apparently, about a week after the first time we hooked up he went to the DR and was diagnosed with Chlamydia. HOLY HELL! He starts going into detail about symptoms and how he’s been wanting to tell me and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile my brain is spinning around inside my head thinking of the people I’ve been with in recent weeks and if we used protection or not. I do try to be a safety girl but I’m not the best, especially if drinking is involved. Henceforth, I will be the condom queen though. Seriously. I already have a cache in my purse and I’ll never leave home without them again. EVER! Cabana Boy tells me he hasn’t been with a girl in about six months before me so I probably need to be tested. Um, no shit Sherlock! So despite the more than shocking news I’ve had enough alcohol and recreational activity that I stayed entirely calm on the outside though I was freaking on the inside. Furious texting with Jules and Gwyn commenced. Then things got weird with College Crush!

I had told him about the recreational activity part cause I wanted to be honest and then he seemed like he was mad at me. I asked why and after some jockeying back and forth, I realized he wasn’t mad about the recreational activity part at all. I guess he was pissed that I was hanging out with guys? He essentially refused to talk about it via text and said we’d talk today about it.

After that little drama and the freaking out about what Cabana Boy told me, we did end up making out and eventually having sex. I know stupid! But we did use protection! And honestly, I think I was in shock from all the drama of the day. Afterwards I told him I needed to go and he walked me home. Today he’s blown up my phone with texts. I mean seriously dude. I should know better than to play with a stage 5 clinger. I might need to invest in a taser.

So despite my close to 18 years of having sex and never catching an STD even through playing Russian roulette with an array of boys and never using a condom in high school or college, I may have my very first STD. It’s humiliating and embarrassing. Not necessarily because I may have one but because I freaking know better and I’m a grown ass woman! So I humbly drug myself to the urgent care center this morning and requested to be tested. No way was I going to my family DR. They were incredibly nice to me and made me feel much better. So now, I sit on pins and needles until sometime tomorrow when the magic phone call will happen and I’ll either do a dance of joy, or figure out how to tell whatever guys I have to tell that they need to be checked too.

This has serious implications to blow Team Miranda to hell and back. I went through the blog today and meticulously made note of every guy, when we were together, and if we used protection or not. Thankfully, it’s not as many as it could be but it’s more than it should be. Thankfully too, College Crush and Flyboy and I have always used protection so at least they will be protected from the potential fallout.

College Crush did finally text me this morning and said we’d talk about “it” this evening but it might be late because he has some plans. If he’s seriously pissed because I was hanging out with my guy friends I’m going to blow him to hell and back. He will never know what hit him.

Somehow, I think this experience will be a game changer for me. I think I need a few days to marinate on it and think about my behavior as of late. Clearly, I’ve fallen into a pattern of excess and I’m not sure it’s the best thing for me. I seriously have a drama hangover today. Yesterday was too much, way too much. I’ll let you know what I hear from the DR tomorrow.


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Intentional Boredom

Miranda, thought your last post was a riot. I guess I should hang onto a guy that buys me sex toys.
Well here's an interesting one for you guys to dissect. I was feeling a little caught up in this whole Canada thing (hence my last post titled as such) and while he totally has chalked up what I said to too much wine last night and kept it fairly light from feelings today, I was a bit overwhelmed. I was texting with this guy, Joe Blow, before I met Canada. He seemed a little slow with the convo and not really into meeting so I left it alone. He has continued to randomly text me and it's still been very slow going chatting. I had set up to meet him once and bailed. Then tonight in a fit of being overwhelmed by Canada, asked him if he wanted to come over. He said he did and then that was it. I got a text at the appointed time saying he was almost here. I was so not ready and told him that he hadn't really followed up with any further chat to let me know that, so I was sorry but I needed 15 minutes to get ready. I took that time plus a little and realized that I know absolutely nothing about this guy...hell, I don't even know his last name. Fortunately I had told him approximately where I live, but not my actual address yet. Red flags starting going off and I texted him to tell him I didn't think I wanted to meet. So, he calls me. I hate when people call me like this, but I felt like maybe if I talked to him and he had a sexy voice or something I would change my mind. He didn't and I didn't. He actually sounded like a total loser on the phone, so I told him it wasn't happening and was incredibly thankful he had called after the fact. He was pissed (rightfully so) and sent me a text telling me to delete his info b/c I had wasted his time. I replied with a "done". I don't know what it was, but I got a vibe and it wasn't a good, pleasurable one. Now I'm sitting here wondering if it was really my intuition or if my decision was clouded by Canada. Tomorrow I'm taking Chloe to the art festival up here and then to a friend's house to spend the night. I'm then headed to Canada's house for my own sleepover. He's taking Tuesday off to hang out with me, so I think by then I should have a little more of a gauge on where I'm letting this go.
In all honesty, I have no idea what I want right now. I don't want to be someone's gf, but I also don't want to sleep with every cute guy on this island either (well, ok maybe a little). I was telling Miranda the other day that I miss how easy it was with Owen and Gavin and that maybe I am meant to just be with attached men after all because I get to fuck them and then go on with my life. There is limited communication and no fear of feelings getting in the way. I'm actually feeling a little melancholy about Owen's disappearance in particular. I know it's wrong and it's bad karma, but it was so convenient. Texas comes back August 12th, but I think I'm going to let that one lie. He's been chatting with some girl he started seeing before he left here and I told him I'm not into attached men anymore. He said that's not fair b/c I told him I didn't want a relationship. I also told him that I don't know what I want either and it's not about fair.

Here Come the Brides

Late night wine fueled update. It doesn’t get much more exciting in Miranda’s world tonight. I told Gwyn earlier this week that I was frustrated with most of my team. That I felt like they were getting lazy and I was driving the relationships. Been there, done that, not going to do it again. So despite my need for attention and combined with the well timed work trip, I essentially stopped the communication from my end, well initiating the communication anyways. After about a day I got instant results and they were all wanting to know what I was up to. Whatever! I’m a little annoyed with them all.

So then today comes and I’m determined not to initiate any contact and follow Gwyn’s advice and stay home for a change. I waivered all day and actually did a little texting but kept it light and chatty with no discussion or reference to tonight. What did it get me? A night of boredom at home. Methinks this time Gwyn’s advice led me astray lol! Though tonight has been entertaining in some ways.

College Crush was more than excited to hear I wasn’t going out tonight and thus has been blowing up my phone all night. I told him at one point I was grouchy because I was staying in and I got this text in return….

“I truly miss everything about you from you beautiful smile to the way you smell. I love to make you laugh, to make you feel better, and it hurts me when you are in a funk. Cheer up buttercup!”

WOW! Being a girl, I had to immediately forward that text to Gwyn and Jules for a little feedback. We were all a little taken aback. College Crush is really getting in deep I think. I’m supposed to spend the weekend at the end of the month with him. I may be in for a rough ride and I’m not just talking about sex…. Though I have thought about my reasons for not being boyfriend/girlfriend with him if he ever outright asks. I mean we live 1.5 hours apart and so far our schedules haven’t meshed up nearly enough for my satisfaction on any level. True, we text or talk on the phone almost every day but still you can’t have a relationship that way and believe me, I “phoned” in a relationship with Duckie for years and next time I commit in any way, the guy damn sure is going to have to be a whole lot closer physically than College Crush currently is.

Now if you read the blog earlier you saw that Jules is having her own little “moment” with Canada. He’s so into her and she’s starting to have a crush on him. Though she denies it to some degree and declares she’s sure she’ll get bored soon. Still a man who buys you sex toys and lets you use them on him….she might need to hang on to him for a bit.

Then Gwyn tells me that the Barber has spent yet another night with her and even stayed in her bed until 2 pm even after she got up and went to work. Yep, Gwyn is on her blog strike but she’s still managing to fit in some sex into her busy schedule. He also told her “he didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship.” She said to please note that he used to say “relationship” and now he’s going with the old “friendship.” She said she wanted to say “oh yeah thanks for reminding me that we aren’t officially together anymore I was so busy dedicating my life to you that I didn’t realize dedicating my life to you included sleeping with the Truck Driver and texting your cousin!” Also despite my pleas for her to post she did say last night was quite hilarious with the Barber and it included him spitting “lots of Gatorade on her in the bed on accident.”

The boys in our lives are going over the top to say the least. In my boredom tonight I have been trolling POF and again looking at guys in the $100K salary club. I can’t believe I’ve wasted a night of freedom at home!!!!!

Miranda (aka the grumpy shut-in)

Saturday, July 17, 2010

All Caught Up

Damn it, something happened last night that was akin to me being all caught up in the moments following some really intense orgasms. Let me back up for a moment. Thursday night Canada started with the feelings thing again before he came over for some more smoking hot sex. I'd texted with him all day about the things I wanted him to do to me and that I planned to do to him. It turns out he's never played with toys either and was totally into me playing with him with toys as well. I love when a guy submits to me in that way, I don't know why but it's just a turn on for me to violate a guy's ass. Call me a whore, whatever. Anyway, he gets here Thursday and Chloe's still awake so we sat outside and consumed a bottle of wine and then the wild rumpas started. He's not super hung by any stretch - very normal size cock, but holy fuck he's a fast learner with my body. He did everything I'd told him to do to me via text that day and then some. I finally kicked him out about 1am in order to avoid Chloe's midnight runs into my bed. (Incidentally I did wake up to her in my bed later that night.)
He invited me over last night to his place to cook dinner for me. Not being a domestic goddess, I love men that cook. He made me a delicious dinner of grilled salmon with herbs from his garden, grilled asparagus, and pesto pasta. OMG it was so good and he refused to let me do the dishes. Afterward, we made out on his couch for a while before he took me back to break in his new mattress that he'd had delivered the night before. It seems he's been sleeping on an air mattress after giving his old bed to a friend whose wife moved out here. I had instructed him to go to the sex shop yesterday and buy himself a toy, which he did! I was super impressed b/c most of the time men are totally afraid of those places, especially men that haven't played with toys before. As we were laying in bed last night, I actually convinced him to go online and buy me a new one too. I've been dying to try a glass toy because you can heat them up or freeze them. It's totally on the way to his house. Hours into breaking in this new mattress, I told him that I too have a crush on him and it scares me. I think I was dazed by the orgasms which were super intense or maybe it was the dinner or the wine or maybe I just like him...crap. Well I have to hang around long enough now to play with my new toy...I guess I can decide whether to flee after that or not.

Hasta La Vista Nerd Boy

I had my second and final date with Nerd Boy last night. I figured I owed him at least one more date since he so chivalrously went and found my lost earring in the park. Since I was traveling back in town from work I got in pretty late so I suggested we just do something low key like a movie.

We met at the theater and he very happily produced the earring in question. I was a little worried that he’d pull the old “oh I forgot it, just come back to my place after the movie” move but he didn’t. Sadly over the last few days I had hoped his nerdiness had been embellished in my mind and that’d he’d be a whole lot less nerdy in person, but he wasn’t – still a big goober. He even wore mandals yall! Mandals with cargo shorts! I mean really. (If you don’t know what mandals are they are incredibly tevia-ish sandals that guys, particularly older guys, wear and think they look cool.)

Following Gwyn’s advice (she’s become my guru on getting rid of guys you really don’t want to date) I intended to buy my own ticket to really set this date up as friends. However, Nerd Boy outsmarted me and had bought the tickets in advance. He also came bearing my favorite movie candy which was sweet. Well played Nerd Boy, well played.

We stood outside for just a moment chatting and I looked over my shoulder at something and turned back around to find him totally in my face kissing me. There wasn’t much of a way to avoid it so I did kiss him but when he tried to stick his tongue in my mouth I did pull back big time.

So anyways we strolled in the movie and found a seat. We saw Inception by the way. Awesome movie! I highly recommend you go check it out. The place was pretty packed and immediately Nerd Boy was trying to hold my hand and he tried to kiss me several more times. I so wanted to say, “Dude! We’re not in high school! Even if I wanted to make out with you I damn sure wouldn’t do it in a crowded theater!” But I just used my best blocking tactics and every time he held my hand I’d find a reason to let go after a minute or when he’s try to lean in for a kiss he was met with my cheek, not my lips. Eventually he did give up on the hand holding and just rested his hand on my knee most of the movie though at one point he literally did the old yawn, stretch, put your arm around the girl move. LOL!

At the end of the date he suggested to either go grab a drink or desert or just walk around a bit. I had to fight my best people pleasing urges and I thought to myself, “What would Gwyn do?” LMFAO! I did decline continuing on the date. Gwyn’s so proud of me! He walked me to my car and attempted to make out with me in the parking lot. Sheesh. I like a good PDA as much as the next person but you cannot be making out in public! Well ok you can but only when you really, really like the person. HA! I could tell he was looking for some further date being planned but all I did was thank him for the movie and tell him to be careful driving home.

Nerd Boy is a really nice guy and he’s cute but 1 – he’s a total nerd and not in a good way, and 2 – there are so many things about him that remind me of Duckie! Homie don’t play that my friends. Been there, done that, didn’t like it, and I’m not going back again. I’m sure Nerd Boy will make some woman very happy but it’s not going to be this girl!

Funnily enough, I checked my phone after the movie and I had about 10 messages from College Crush asking me where I was, what I was doing, and who I was with. As soon as I was in my car I did text him back and then called him. I actually told him the truth because it totally worked without even being massaged in this instance. Told him I was out with my friend (Nerd Boy’s real name because it can also be a girl’s name) and that we’d been to the movies LOL! I’ve noticed when I go out and College Crush knows it, he’s been asking for a lot more details lately. Wanting to know where I am and who I’m out with. Interesting, very interesting….

Not sure what will go on tonight. I don’t have any boy booked yet for this evening and again following Gwyn’s instructions I’m trying to not feel the need to have every second of my free time booked with a boy but it’s hard. I’m used to as my mom coined it “my party girl lifestyle” which includes going out every night that I can. I’ll keep ya posted.