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Monday, July 19, 2010

Could You Be Loved?

I was listening to Bob on the way to work and reflecting on my evening/morning with Canada. A friend of mine had Chloe for me since our schedules are nuts on Mondays and so I was child free to spend the night at Canada’s. I’m usually not a big fan of overnights, but in this case it worked out so that I was closer to work this morning and it didn’t make sense to drive back to my town in the middle of the night to drive right back through his a few hours later, plus this way I could get some more before work too.

Canada has been ok with keeping his feelings in check since I told him I have a crush on him too. He’s blowing up my phone daily, but otherwise pretty good about not expressing anything too overtly. He made me another awesome dinner last night complete with a dessert and we spent a long time doing some really fun things. He woke me up this morning 4 hours later at 5:30am rubbing my back and kissing me before he left for PT. He came back right after PT and we had some really nice morning fun before I had to get up for my shower. He made me coffee and sent me to work with leftovers from last night for lunch. As he was cooking me dinner last night, we were discussing my favorite foods. I made an offhanded comment about how if he can fry squash and okra, I’ll probably marry him. WTF was I thinking? You never say something like that to a guy that’s this ready for a commitment. He replied with “Yeah, but I know not for 2 years.”. I’ve told him I’m not going to formally divorce Russell for 2 years while I’m in school. Dear Lord, why do I drink too much wine and let stupid stuff leave my mouth?

He told me last night that he might be going to a SE Asian country next month for a month with the military, but it seems he found out today that he wouldn’t have a passport soon enough. I’d thought that would be a good breather to see where we’re at, but alas. He told me he didn’t know how he could be gone from me for that long. Then he told me he finds out next month whether or not he’s being extended here for 3 more years. I told him he needs to stay b/c he wants to anyway and not because of me. I am thinking about whether or not I could be with him though, for the short term. He treats me like a goddess, he hangs onto my every word, and he’s rocking my world at the moment…why not be with him? Oh yeah, because I hate monogamy.

Andy 33 resurfaced yesterday as I was shopping at an art festival. I sent him some minimal texts back and he wasn’t really asking to see me, just kind of checking in I guess. He’s a weird one it seems. I think Andy 26 comes back sometime around the end of this week, so I’m curious whether or not I’ll hear from him and if I do where it will go with Canada. I was also texting with Miranda this morning about Owen and pondering whether or not he will resurface next month when his wife goes back to work. I doubt Gavin will resurface as long as things are good with his gf. He’s been in NJ for the month of July and since he doesn’t live 2 doors over from me anymore, we’re not in each other’s constant visual. I have no intentions of contacting him though because as I was telling Miranda he likes to screw with my emotions too, much as Sawyer does to her. That’s a really unfair thing to do when you’re attached…seriously.

-Jules

1 comment:

  1. You better watch it. You and Canada are treading down the same path as me and College Crush. Could be really good or really bad.

    And clearly when I drink too much comes out of my mouth too. I wonder if there's some sort of hypnosis we could have done that would prevent these verbal leakages?

    Miranda

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