Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

Thursday evening, Duckie and I had a very civil conversation about dividing up our property. All went well, I even got my bed which was number one on my list – you must try a Beauty Rest bed if you haven’t already – it’s quite dreamy. As we wrapped up our conversation he dropped this bombshell, “Oh and I just want to tell you that you will be receiving some paperwork certified mail tomorrow. I retained a lawyer a few weeks ago so you’ll need to sign for the letter.” WTF!!!!! We had agreed to do this separation thing without lawyers. Until this point things had been relatively peaceful. I asked what exactly this paperwork was and he couldn’t really tell me (should have been warning sign #1) but he did so kindly point out that there was some “language” around custody and not to freak out he had already addressed the fact that we are doing 50/50 custody with his lawyer. That whatever this “paperwork” said didn’t change all the other stuff we had agreed on to this point. So I im...

I’m your average, middle class, married working woman, two kids, nice house, church going, supportive family. Everything that should make me a “good” person. Here I am in the midst of a tumultuous affair with my next-door neighbor. Yes it’s my own personal Lifetime movie! Let me go back to the beginning… I’ve been a good wife for the most part these past 10 years. My marriage to Duckie (and yes that is a perfectly good reference and comparison to the original Duckie from the classic Pretty in Pink) was never anything exciting but it was comfortable, solid, something I decided I just needed to be happy with. I never strayed all these years, though more than once I considered having an affair usually out of anger or frustration. Over the last 3 years especially, things grew more and more distant. I stopped trying to talk to Duckie because he never understood me, never had. Despite his arguments and disbelief, we have serious communication issues and honestly, I’m tired of supp...