Monday, May 31, 2010

Pause For a Moment

I need to push the pause button for a moment b/c I have NO idea what to do and that's an unusual phenomena for me. The Hungarian sent me all those crazy texts Friday night and it sent me into lukewarm mode. I was a little afraid of our weekend plans after those texts and I was hating Russell yesterday (which I'm over btw) and when I got to the Hungarian's house yesterday I was feeling a little chilly...until he opened an awesome bottle of wine that one of his friends (who are winemakers!) gave him and then I started to loosen up. I'm a sucker for wine...it makes me a nicer person...but when I got there initially I was annoyed with him. My annoyance was probably left over for the texts the night before, but also from Russell. I realized it quickly and suggested that we leave his house for food and wine ASAP. He opened the wine, took me out for Greek food, and things improved. He actually ordered my food for me, which is not something I love at all, but it was cute...so I allowed it. During dinner his grandma called and they had a rather lengthy conversation in Hungarian...it was also cute. I love a family man...really. If you hate your relatives, it makes me pause. After dinner, he took me to the Tantalus lookout where you can see the whole city lit from above...it's gorgeous!
We drove home, drank more wine, got high, had some pretty great sex, and passed out. I woke up the first time at 7am, as did he, but I refused to actually open my eyes. We got up the second time at 10am...well, I did. I woke up and went into the bathroom to text Miranda and do my morning pretty routine. He woke up 30 minutes later when I re-entered his room and announced it was coffee time. He didn't sense the urgency of this situation and pissed around for about an hour...which annoyed me. During this time, I sent Miranda a follow up text stating that maybe I should only date when I'm drunk. At last, we left for coffee and provisions and hit the beach. I'm a total North Shore girl and I discount the rest of the island pretty much, except for this one area near Kailua. There is an awesome stretch of beach near there that I adore and that's where he wanted to go today. As we sat and ate our brunch on the sand, I was becoming less annoyed (chalk this up to the coffee finally entering my system). I moved after we ate into the sun and he stayed in the shade until he saw the water creeping toward me. Then, he moved over to where I was laying out and built a freaking dam around me to prevent me from getting wet. OMG, can you stand it?? Any other man would have told me to move my sorry, lazy ass to a not wet spot. I was kind of fighting the urge at this point to tell him I loved him...I mean he built me a dam!
The only mention of affection was last night when he told me during sex that he loves me, which I just ignored. I've decided that's my MO...I'm going to ignore these comments as long as possible. I came home after the beach because he has errands to run that I didn't want to do and I just felt like it was time. I'm going back on Wednesday night before my bff arrives...because then it's pretty much 2 weeks of no sex. I adore her and I never, ever get to see her, so I'm off my boys while she's here.

A Crush Comes to Life

OMG pretty much sums up my date with College Crush. Now if you’ve been following the story, CC is the guy who I crushed on all through college (obviously) but we never hooked up, never went on a date, never anything. After school we lost touch and randomly I ran into him right after Duckie and I moved in our first house about 8 years ago. He was actually living nearby and we did the whole “let’s hang out” thing but still we never actually did.

Fast forward to about a year ago, we reconnected via Facebook and started occasionally chatting. Chatting naturally turned into flirting and he pretty much saw/heard me go through everything with my dad passing away and with my marriage falling apart with Duckie. Things stayed very friendly and about the time I moved out, they got decidedly more flirty and intense. We switched to texting and more days than not we exchange at least a couple messages.

During this whole time I’ve pestered him about not having a profile picture on Facebook. Then a couple weeks ago we finally decided it was time for us to hang out. I honestly figured he probably was as Gwyn said it a “fatty mcpatty” since he was refusing to show me a picture and then after much harassment mid-week he sent me one. It was inconclusive, looked like he’d gained some but hard to tell how much.

Yesterday was our date finally and as I packed my overnight bag I felt like I was bringing two sets of clothes – one that say “hey big boy” and one that said “keep yer hands to yourself.” LOL. As I headed down to where he lives (about an hour and a half from me) I worked myself into a near state of hysteria not just over what he looked like but it was the whole unrequited crush thing. It felt like a lot of pressure! I pulled up to his place and took a few steadying breaths and prepared myself to see a chubby dude and put him back firmly in the friend category. I rang the doorbell and held my breath and when the door opened, I couldn’t believe what I saw…..He was not fat at all! Not even chubby! WTF? All my preparation was for a chubby dude, not the guy who looked exactly the same as he did in school! Honestly, I think I forgot to breathe for a moment as I processed all this and I’m not exactly sure but my mouth might have dropped open when I first saw him.

CC greeted me with a big hug and after my initial speechlessness at what he really looked like; I felt all the crush emotions come flooding back. It was a little overwhelming honestly. We chilled out at his place for a while and had a few drinks. It was a little surreal to be sitting there with him after all this time of “virtual connection.” We headed out to go to a concert at this street festival type thing. When we got there the place was packed. As we navigated through the crowd he grabbed hold of my hand so we wouldn’t get separated and I don’t think he ever let go until the end of the night. It was really sweet. We finally made it to the person I wanted to see and we had a great time just listening to the music and people watching. I guess now that I think about it he did let go of my hand a few times to put his arms around me.

After the show we headed back to his neighborhood for the rest of our date. He lives in one of those new types of communities that are like a shopping center that looks like a small town with condos above all the stores. CC took me to his favorite bar in his neighborhood and we hung out and laughed and laughed and laughed some more. At this point we hadn’t done anything more than hold hands or hug. At one point he leaned in to give me a kiss and I was delighting in the anticipation way too much to give it up so I let him get right to the point where we were almost touching and then I turned away. LOL I’m a tease I know. He thought that was pretty funny and then it turned into this game of him trying to kiss me and me deflecting him. Eventually I got a little randy and started kissing along the side of his jaw towards his ear. After a couple times of this he stood up, grabbed my hand, and said “We’re leaving now! I can't take this!” HA!

We strolled back to his place and this is where the night gets a little fuzzy sadly. I had had A LOT to drink. Partly from bravado of taking shit and saying how much I could drink and partly due to my nerves. I remember some hot making out with me sitting on his kitchen counter (and if you’re a faithful reader you know I have a thing for kitchen counters hahahaha) and some flashes of some very drunk but hot sex. I will say in light of some of Jules’s recent condom issues, he was very much a safety boy. I didn’t even have to say a word, when the time was right he just whipped it out and put it on. Good boy!

Waking up this morning, the room looked like a clothing bomb had gone off. Apparently when we got undressed we were throwing clothes left and right LOL. We woke up about 8 and then just dozed and cuddled for the next several hours. He’s a great cuddler! For someone that hated cuddling for so long, I’m really starting to love it. Oh, and we did engage in a little more hot morning nookie and it was good! I think we both would have been more than content to stay in bed all day together. It was just that fun and peaceful all at the same time.

Much to our dismay, we did have to get up around noon so I could head back to get the kids and he could go to work for a few hours. He fed me cherries and blackberries and yogurt for an impromptu breakfast and then carried my bag to the car for me (nice touch!). We kissed and hugged and said we needed to see each other again soon.

What can I say, it was a great date! Great to spend time with someone I had liked for so long, great to spend time with someone I have some sort of shared history with, and just great in general. We get along really well. CC’s just an easy person to be around; he just makes you feel comfortable immediately. We texted a bunch this afternoon/evening and he wants to come see me soon. I guess I need to figure out my plans for next weekend soon.

Now I’m feeling conflicted though. Because I really like CC and I really like Lawyer Boy. I also really like Texas despite the fact that we haven’t met in person (yet) and despite the fact he lives in Texas (but that does knock him down a few pegs in the rankings). And for some reason I still can’t get freaking FJB out of my mind. I’ve given up all hope that we’ll go out again (with his clear issues I’m not even sure that I’d want to continue things with him) but I can’t seem to let it go. All these guys (even FJB) are genuine good guys and I don’t want to hurt any of them in any way.

I don’t know where this post is going but to say I’m conflicted about where to go from here. I’m also exhausted and I should go to bed before I get any more confused. Thinking about all these boys makes my head hurt!


Saturday, May 29, 2010

News of the Weird

No sooner had I hit send yesterday on that post then the Hungarian starts drunk texting me things...the first weird one was when he sent one saying "I luv U.". I assumed he was just being drunk and stupid and told him I was chalking that text up to too much alcohol. He said he was going to stop texting and we'd talk later, which I thought was a splendid idea...until about an hour later when I got another text from him. This was one asked, "Will U b my GIRLFRIEND?". WTF??? Dude, I've know you what...a week? Now I really like this guy and he treats me like a total princess, so I'm going to try to let it slide that a week into this he's professing feelings...but c'mon. Why must men do this? My response to him was "Let's see how the weekend goes...ask me again later". You know like in 6 -12 months or something...I realize I'm not your typical girl and most women would cream in their panties for a guy that wanted to be with them so quickly, but I'm not like most women. I have commitment issues.
In other news, Russell is irritating me today. I don't know why but it's one of those days where the very fact that he's living and breathing is pissing me off. How was I ever in love with this man, really?? I'm glad to be leaving for the weekend because if I wasn't...things could get ugly here. Now to his credit, he really hasn't done much to deserve this particular rant...I just woke up today hating him.

What's This?

I’m going to start calling my house the maxi-pad (Reality Bites rip off). I am currently living with 2 gay men for the summer. Russell’s college roommate has moved in with us for the summer to help take care of Chloe while she’s out of school and we’re working. Two of my girlfriends are coming to visit…it seems an appropriate moniker. I’m excited about this summer though. I finally feel like I’m coming back into me after years of being a mom and a wife. It’s nice to find myself again.
Remember how like yesterday I posted on my possible summer line up? Well, we’ve had another fly get caught in the web. About a year ago, Russell and I met this guy that was in the military. His name is “Jay”. Jay’s fantasy in life was a 3sum, but we gave him a 4sum instead. Russell was seeing someone at the time and everyone came over one night and it was intense fun. Well, Jay got weird afterward and said he couldn’t do it again b/c his gf had moved out here. Then he contacted me a few months later, we exchanged some emails, but nothing materialized. I think it was right before he deployed and we had company or something. Last night out of the clear blue sky, I get an email from him saying he’s back from Afghanistan. I told him the update on our current situation and while he admitted to really enjoying being dominated by Russell…he preferred seeing me. I was home last night after a lot of wine, so it really wasn’t appropriate for me to drive onto base. He’d apparently been drinking as well and didn’t want to leave…so we just texted for hours. Here it is 1:30pm in the afternoon and I can hardly remember what I ate for breakfast today, so my memory of him is hazy but I do remember being very disappointed when he sort of fell off the face of the Earth after that one evening. I may have to make a space for him as well because he’s got a big ole freaky side and I love that. Sadly though he’s stationed across the island from me as well…that distance is a kicker.
The Hungarian has been blowing my phone and FB up, but in a cute way...not in a clingy way. He's texting me now telling me how much he misses me and how he's surprised by how much he thinks about me....awwww, I think he has a crush too. I'm gearing up for our weekend date-a-thon.


Friday, May 28, 2010

I Blame it All on the Sangria

Well last night proved to be most interesting.  My work was doing another one of those concerts.  Gwyn and I were bartending the VIP section and sweating it out.  It was HOT!  Randomly, I got a call from Lawyer Boy.  He had decided he and his little girl were going to come to the concert!  Yeah he's coming - wait a minute... he's bringing his kid???

Now during the 48-hour date, kids were one of the many things we discussed.  We both said introducing your kids to the person you were dating was a serious step, you couldn’t just introduce them to anyone.  And for me, I don’t intend for Leo and Ladybug to even get wind that I’m dating anyone until after the divorce is final.  So when he called me and said they were coming to the concert, I was a little hesitant but he said we’d just keep the kid on the down low so to speak.  I mean it’s a concert and I was bartending so it’s not like I’d have that much interaction. 

Almost immediately, after I hung up with LB, Sawyer calls.  He wanted to see me this morning before he and the wife go on a 7-day “break up” cruise as he’s calling it.  Of course, I caved and said sure.  Slut!  LOL

So LB and the kid show up and all is cool.  He did introduce the kid to me (she’s an adorable 7 year old girl btw who looks just like him) and I finally got to introduce Gwyn to LB.  They hung out in the VIP section for a while and then he asked if I could take a break and walk around for a bit with them.  Of course, like any bad girlfriend, I ditched Gwyn (with her permission of course) and we strolled around the event for a while.  We took the kid down to the bouncy house thing so she could play and we could have a little adult chat.  Without thinking, I even whipped the ponytail holder I had in my hair out and did a ponytail in his daughter’s hair.  I guess that mom side of me breaks loose every once in a while LOL.

After about 20 minutes or so, I realized how long I’d abandoned Gwyn for and we headed back to the VIP section.  As we walked towards the VIP entrance, who should appear… none other than Braceface from a few weeks ago!  Other than the near miss during the 48-hour date this is the first time I’ve had two boys intersect each other.  After a brief moment of panic, I just cruised right by Braceface and said hello without stopping.  I mean it wasn’t like I was holding LB’s hand or anything but still it was obvious we were together.  Another coworker came over and told me Braceface was sad I didn’t stop and talk to him LMFAO.

LB and the kid continued to hang out up there with us while we worked.  And crazily, Braceface came back around a time or two before he figured out I wasn’t playing with him last night and he disappeared.  As the event ended LB sprung on me the question of did I want to go grab some dinner afterwards.  Now at this point I’d had more than a few glasses of Sangria, Gwyn and I had been working that angle all night and I think we’d had about 9 glasses bought for us, so I said yes without thinking that I’d be sitting across the table from his kid.

So I dropped Gwyn off at her car and then me and my new little stepfamily headed off to grab a late dinner.  On the way there, I was suddenly realized the impact of what was happening.  Me, the anti-meet the kids person, was about to have a serious meet and greet with LB’s little girl!  It actually wasn’t bad I must admit.  She’s an awesome little kid, very funny, very sassy, likes to make fun of her dad.  But it was quite surreal to find myself having dinner with her and LB, to do the word search on her placemat with her, and to take her to the bathroom just like any good stepmom would do (all the while I was silently screaming in my head “I can’t believe I’m hanging out with someone’s kid” LOL).  Though strangely much like with Sawyer, there’s something really hot about watching LB be a dad.  He seems like a great dad quite honestly, one that in a few years she will think is really cool even if she thinks he’s a dork now LOL.

At the end of the night, we all walked outside and obviously, he couldn’t kiss me or anything with the kid present.  So he put her in the car and then told me how glad he was that he got to see me last night and that he was thinking next weekend (when we’re both kid free) we should spend the WHOLE weekend together again.  Yeah, another 48 hour date.  And it’s honestly not a bad thing.  FJB was the only one who could give LB a run for his money and he’s still MIA and about to be officially kicked off the team.  Still, it’s quite interesting how this relationship with LB has resurrected.  Definitely something to watch as the summer unfolds. 


PS – Incidentally during dinner, I had a momentary mental break as I realized I was eating dinner with LB and his kid, I was carrying around directions to College Crush’s place for Saturday, I had just agreed to meet Sawyer in the am, and Texas was sending me romantic text messages.  I had to stifle some hysterical laughter at that moment.

PPS – Had to add that this am with Sawyer, he busts out with the question of “What would you say if I asked you to be my girl?”  Yeah, he went there!  I said I would pass because 1 – hello he’s married, and 2 – he’d have to work hard to get me because there are too many other boys who want to be with me.  He said what if he was single, and I told him #2 still stood firm.  He told me I wasn’t being very nice.  I told him to go have a nice little vacation with the wife LOL. 

Thursday, May 27, 2010

You Had Me At Wine

Holy Crap, I think I've found a guy I actually want to date and hang out with...how did this happen? And why oh why must he live ACROSS the island?? I went to the Hungarian's house last night. We were going to do a drive up Tantalus and look out over the city at night, but I didn't get there until 9:45pm and we were both too tired after working all day. When I arrived, I came into the kitchen to wine, cheese (brie at that), crackers, and chocolate. Dude, I'm in love - OK SO JUST KIDDING...but seriously, it was all of my favorite things in life right there in one spot and I didn't have to procure any of it.
We ended up hanging out at his house all night, getting high (everyone on this island smokes...I mean everyone...I'm pretty sure even the Republican Governor), drinking wine, and playing around until 3am when he passed out and I realized I was going to as well if I didn't get up to drive home. (I'd only had half a bottle of wine and I'd quit drinking about 3 hours before....really, I promise.) The sex was much better this time because we didn't pass out mid way (LOL), but damn if I didn't have to force him to wear a condom. When did condoms become passe?? I'm still all about some safe sex, especially since no one here seems all that into this concept...wtf?
He invited me to come hang out with him from Saturday afternoon to Monday morning this weekend. Chloe is camping all weekend. We're going to go up Tantalus this weekend and he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie...the last movie I saw was in Feb. when I went home to NC. I'm super excited...like girly squeal excited.
And then, Monday night I have another tentative date with a guy from PoF...I say tentative because I'm thinking if this weekend goes well, I might cancel it. Gasp...did I just type/say that?? We shall see.
Owen gets back tomorrow from his vacation. I was contemplating my boy lineup the other day and I think that it's going to be as follows depending on the outcome of this weekend. I want to date the Hungarian...like date-date him. I want to continue having crazy, hot, dirty sex with Owen once a week (which may not actually fully resume until August with our crazy schedules and kids but as often as humanly possible in the interim), and then when my Texas gets here in July he can also have a spot for just hot sex...we're not dating. That would be a super fun lineup of some hot men! Happy Summer to me!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...

So my upcoming date with College Crush is this Saturday and despite my best efforts in the past, I could never get him to send me a picture. There were some on Facebook but they were all relatively old. I mean I’ve been literally nagging him for months to put a profile picture up or at least text me a picture and he’s gone through every excuse in the book.

Well with the impending date, I suppose I finally broke him and I got a picture of CC last night. I started texting him about 4:00 and harassing him about sending a picture and after various excuses and delays he did finally send one, albeit a slightly blurry crappy one about 10:15 or so last night.

Gwyn and I had worked ourselves into a near Lifetime Movie hysteria over waiting for the picture and I admit I was totally preparing myself for the worst. I was imagining CC as fat, bald, zitty, and old. I was pleasantly surprised though. From what I can tell in the picture, he does seem to have some of that middle-age spread going on but he’s not nearly as big as I was forcing myself to imagine. Other than that, he looks pretty much just like I remember, maybe even a little better - the whole facial maturity thing I suppose.

But it is hard to tell exactly how much he’s packing so I’m still preparing myself to show up on his doorstep on Saturday and find Grimace waiting for me. I feel bad for joking about his weight because he is a really nice guy and even back in the day, his personality won me over more than anything else did. Plus I could tell from his text after he sent the picture that he was feeling a little nervous/vulnerable.

I told Gwyn fat girls could learn so much from the way he’s played this game with making me wait for the picture. I mean he’s pretty much had me lathered up from all the flirting and joking for months (we started friendly talking back before I had even told Duckie I was leaving and then the flirting really ramped up about in March) and then really put the pressure on the last few weeks so even if he was Grimace in real life he had me hooked personality wise for sure.

And though physically he may not be all that, he’s a genuine good guy – funny, sweet, kind, considerate, remembers all kinds of crazy shit I tell him. On top of that, my brother was a big guy growing up (he’s lost all that now) and I always hoped that girls saw him for who he really was and still flirted and went out with him and stuff. So no way am I planning to change how I act towards him via text or even when I get down there. Now that’s not to say that if I get down to his place and the chemistry is just not there except as friends that I’m not going to do the old switcheroo and take us from this flirty place to a friendly place. I do definitely feel like I have the upperhand in the relationship now LOL.

So now we just have to wait until Saturday to see how things go. In other boy news, Lawyer Boy and I have been talking/texting all this week, the Giant told me he really likes me and wants to see me again even though he’s leaving in a month and he’s afraid of having “feelings” for me while he’s gone, Texas and I keep missing each other and that’s frustrating!, and FJB is still being weird. After my self-imposed week of silence I sent him a friendly email stating that I hadn’t heard from him in a while to which he replied, “Yes, I’ve been a little preoccupied.” WTF?? Ok, whatever! I replied that I would like to know where things stand with us; I’m kind of a direct girl and didn’t want to keep beating a dead horse. Haven’t’ heard back from him yet.

Also Sawyer is doing his best to cast his spell back over me but I’m holding out. He says he didn’t see Lawyer Boy and me on Saturday but I don’t really believe him. He’s asked about a million questions about Lawyer Boy this week and even wanted to know if we’d slept together. (I totally lied – I learn quickly!) Sawyer’s getting ready to go on a cruise with the wife next week and he wanted to see me today for a little bon voyage thing but it’s looking like it’s not going to happen now. I shouldn’t be playing with him! I can tell he’s already starting to break down my defenses though I’m being smart so far. After he emailed me today saying it looked like we wouldn’t be able to see each other today I of course had to tease him some and said “Darn, I had such plans” to which he wanted to know what plans and said if I told him maybe he could make them happen. I said, “Doesn’t matter what I had planned. If you really wanted to see me, you’d make it happen regardless.” See! Told ya I’m learning! Incidentally, he hasn’t replied to that email yet.

Also, in exciting news by nefarious means I discovered that Duckie has signed up for e-harmony! Praise the Lord! Even if he’s not ready to go out on a date maybe this is a tiny step forward for him thinking about being with someone else and maybe not hating me so much? Keep your fingers crossed!


Monday, May 24, 2010

Ass-tastic! - SERIOUSLY TMI - Don't Say I Didn't Warn You...

What’s with all the ass play these days?  Just something I’ve been ruminating on while I should be working. 

Back in my hey-day of slutting around (though I’m fast making up ground now) the ass was never on the menu.  In fact, I can’t remember even one guy making a play for the ass until one freaky night with Duckie very early on in our relationship (his one and only chance he ever got BTW).

So far, every guy I’ve slept with during my rebirth into singlehood has made an ass request or just slipped in a little ass play (ew- gross unintended pun). 

Sawyer has always asked about it though I’ve never let him go there.  The crazy night where he fucked with me emotionally I almost did though I recanted at the last moment.  Motorcycle Man asked about it but frankly, I was scared to let his big old snake in my mouth much less my ass.  Lawyer Boy has been a little all over the place ass wise (ha – the puns in this post are killing me).  Our first crazy out of control night he was everywhere and I didn’t mind a single bit.  The second time was too sweet and (excuse me as I throw up a little in my mouth) if I used the phrase “making love” that’s just what it was.  This weekend, the ass got a little attention but not the whole enchilada (omg seriously I need to stop with the puns – remember we ate Mexican food together).  Actually now that I think about it, the Giant didn’t make any back door moves but I bet if he got the shot he would.

So what’s up with that?  I know I was out of commission for a lot of years but is this a new phenomena or has the ass been the way to go for a while?  Is it because all these guys are grown men and back in the day college boys were afraid to ask for it? 

I remember an episode of Sex and the City where weirdly enough, Miranda asked the same question.  So tell me, what’s up with all the assing around?


PS – For the record, I haven’t reciprocated any of these ass-tactics.  I’m clearly a receiver; not a giver. 

Are You Level 1 Worthy?

Per Miranda’s request, I’ve decided to do a quick post about my underwear planning system. What I should be doing is trying to pull myself out from under the 1,000lbs of weight that is my work this week, but then I can’t complain to my boss at our 11am meeting about how busy and overwhelmed I am.

In my world, there are three levels of underwear. Level 3 underwear are those that you wear on a day-to-day basis, mainly when it’s not likely someone else will see them. This level has many aliases including ‘period panties’ and ‘grandma drawers’. Level 2 underwear are the ones you wear when you are pretty sure someone is going to see them but you’re not sure whether or not you want them to end up on the floor. Cute and sexy enough to turn the guy on but not so sexy that they scream “Do me now!” Level 1 underwear, the kind Miranda recently stocked up on, are those panties that you wear when you know for sure you’re going to be getting it on. Either that, or you know for sure that you want to get it on. When he sees you in these panties all he wants to do is rip them off of you and take you right there.

If you’re an advanced student like Miranda, Jules and myself, you may even venture to Level 1-A – no panties. Last night was a Level 1-A night for me. We had to get in a quickie before Truck Driver left for the night, no sense wasting time with undergarments. And trust me, the guys love Level 1-A.
Here are some examples of the various levels of panties:

Level 3

Level 2

Level 1


Sunday, May 23, 2010

I Survived the 48 Hour Date!

My 48 hour date with Lawyer Boy has left me exhausted, worn out, and with a ridiculous smile on my face which can only be attributed to a hilariously fun filled weekend!

One thing I forgot to mention on the mid-date update was that Friday night I still hadn’t heard from Motorcycle Man so I sent him a text telling him to have a good weekend and got back a pseudo-pissy one saying he “wasn’t going to bid for my time and now he remembered why he quit calling me last time.” LOL! I guess he’s finally done and over with. I did send him back a nice text saying sorry we were just at different points and that I did think he was a great guy.   Back to LB…

So LB came back after his study break and we hung out for just a bit.  I’ve mentioned it before but he’s got a hot body.  He’s a long time surfer so he’s got that swimmer’s build with big broad shoulders, cut arms, and a narrow little waist with a six pack.  He looked so freaking good! He had on these tan pants and a light blue polo shirt that clung to his smoking upper body.  Hot!  I had opted for the classic little black dress and was feeling like I looked pretty good too. So we hung out for just a while and then headed out to a local Mexican restaurant.  We sat down and ordered and were chatting when what to my wondering eyes did appear…. none other than Sawyer and his family!

They were headed out the door when I saw them and from where we were sitting Sawyer had to have seen me and LB!  It was perfect!  Especially when I had just seen Sawyer Friday morning and he’d tried to lay the “I’m leaving her” bomb on me.  I mean really, the thought of getting “busted” by one of my boys while I’m with another has no appeal but this was the right time to be seen with the right boy!  It was awesome!

Anyways, after that little escapade we had a great dinner.  We ended up sitting there talking for like three hours before we headed out and went back to that little dive bar from the night before.  It was funny to walk in there and 5-6 of the good old boys came up and said hey and they were happy to see us back there.  We chilled out at the bar for a while and had some drinks.

Two really funny things about last night.  The DJ there actually is one of the guys who messaged me on Plenty of Fish. That’s actually how I knew about this bar in the first place.  I went up to talk to him a few times when I was requesting different songs and he was all asking me if LB was my boyfriend and stuff. He even was ballsy enough to slip me his number and email address not that I plan to use it.  He’s way too old looking for me and so not my type.  The other thing that was funny is that I’d been teasing LB about being the hottest guy by far in the bar and that if I even left him alone for 1 minute; some girl would be hitting on him.  Well the first time I walked off to talk to the DJ, some totally old woman plopped herself right down next to LB and hit on him so hard he was obviously uncomfortable.  He said the first words out of her mouth were, “I’m a grandma. Did you know that?”  and, “You’re the same age as my son.”  LMFAO!  When I came back and sat next to him she was rubbing his arm and practically licking her lips.  I was dying laughing. He put his arm around me and told her I was his date and she acted all surprised and got up and left.  It was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long freaking time.  Later that night when she left she gave me this evil look that just set me off laughing again for the longest time.  Not that Duckie is a dog by any means but I can’t say I ever saw him get hit on and almost every time LB and I have been out I’ve seen girls flirt with him.  Funnily enough, he’s almost oblivious to it until I point it out.  He cracks me up!

After the bar we grabbed some late night snacks and headed back to my place. We ended up sitting in his car for like an hour while it poured down rain laughing and talking about all the crazy stuff that happened at the bar.  We finally just dashed through the rain and ended up standing in my kitchen dripping wet eating cheesecake and listening to Lady Gaga.  WTF??? But it was fun.  We did wind up in bed about 4:30 and it was much hotter than the night before.  Much hotter!  LB is really good, well worth that sweat I broke out in on Friday thinking about him.

He does seem to be struggling with the idea that we like each other but he doesn’t have a lot of time to devote to a relationship right now.  I’ve repeatedly told him I was ok with the way things are for now.  I know he’s studying for the bar and that takes an enormous commitment of time and energy. Combine that with him being a full time parent and me having the kids and there’s just not a lot of time for us to hang out.  But I get it and frankly I’m ok with it for now.  Down the road, we can see if things change but I really am ok with just talking on the phone and seeing each other when we can.  I’ve told him that on multiple occasions and actually told him Friday night he can’t talk about it anymore LOL. 

I think his divorce and the challenges of raising a kid by himself while trying to pass the bar have put an awful lot of pressure and stress on him the last nine months or so.  Maybe I’m just what he needs to chill out and have some fun.  We shall see…


Life is Just Funny Sometimes

Yesterday my beloved Volvo S40 died and it's being sent out to pasture....RIP. Russell was at work when I called him with the news. He texted me around 1pm yesterday to tell me that for the time being I'm going to drive his car and he's going to drive his bf's car since you know his bf got a DUI and technically can't use it for 6 months anyway. THE best part - his bf's car is a tiny bright ass yellow thing...it's hilarious...really. All it's missing is a pride flag....so tempted.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Hungary Rules!

Last night I had a fantastic date in town with Mr. Hungary. He's pretty cool and yes Miranda, sweet. ;) As I was walking up to the bar to meet him last night, a guy stopped me on the sidewalk and told me that if I'm looking for a boyfriend, he was available. It was so stupid, but ego boosting. I told my Texas the other day that men never randomly hit on me...ever. Of course, I always have a kid in tow...but still. Anyway, when I got to the bar Mr. Hungary not only walked out to meet me but he had also saved me a seat at the bar...score. It was Friday night in Waikiki, bar stools are a commodity as we found out later in our bar progression. We were going to eat at this same restaurant, but they had a band playing and it was loud. We walked around some looking for another place and finally decided on the Top of Waikiki. The view from there at night is spectacular...the food was ok. It was a very romantic dinner though looking over the city. After this, we took a short walk on the beach back to another bar which was packed. We stood and had another drink and then walked around town a little. We shopped around some and he bought us matching shirts. It says "Come to the Dark Side. We have Cookies." I may think this is cheesy later, but last night I thought it was awesome. I told him we may not wear them out at the same time though. We found our way to yet another bar and had more drinks and listened to a band for a while. I was getting tired, as was he...so we headed out to get a hotel room. The room was really nice and I woke up at 6am in time to go back to Chloe's school to pick her up from a school slumber party. I sent Miranda a text otw out saying "I think I'm still drunk". I actually shhhhed a bum that was on the sidewalk asking me for change because I couldn't talk and he was speaking to me at 6:30am before my coffee. Dude, really?! 6:30am someone stumbling down the sidewalk in a dress from last night with her hair a hot mess and you're going to ask her for money? It has been a horrible, brutal morning. It ended with me driving home and my car dying a block from the house. It was probably karmic payback for shhhing the bum. At least I only had to stumble a few yards before I could crash onto my bed with the mother of all hangovers. I'm going to have to switch substances to something that doesn't make me feel like ass the next day.

Mid-Date Update

Just a quick mid-date update. Things are rocking! Lawyer Boy came over last night and we hung out for a while before we headed out for dinner. Then we hit up this totally random, sketchy looking bar and totally befriended the owner and staff. Somehow I bartered my help with marketing for the bar in exchange for free drinks LOL. LB also was throwing out the legal advice and the owner and staff were eating it up. It's like we became the VIPs of this sketchy, crusty, pseudo-biker bar. Hilarious!

We ended up staying there until about 3:30 hanging out with the owner and we had to promise to come back tonight. After I randomly made LB a grilled cheese (WTF) we had quite a lovely end to the evening though I think we were both about to crash so I'm expecting even better in the future. We talked so much about all kinds of stuff last night. I'm so glad the chemistry is still there!

I did send him off for a few hours to get his studying done because it was so obviously not going to happen with us here together. In a bit he's coming back for the continuation of our 48 hour date and hopefully we'll meet up with Gwyn tonight so I can get her opinion of LB in the flesh.

I had had way more than enough to lose my inhibitions and I own apologies to both Gwyn and Jules for a ridiculous series of drunk texts. I was so freaking jacked up last night. Sorry girls!


Friday, May 21, 2010

As The World Turns

Russell and I had a very interesting and honest conversation last night. It started with a fight though that he kind of started. I’m usually the one that starts those, but not this time. He started in again on Gavin and I told him that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw such large stones. He asked what I meant and I fessed up to FB stalking his bf and learning that he has a DUI. I accused him of not telling me for fear I’d judge this kid even more than I already do and he admitted some small truth to that, but he also knew I’d look at some point and find out for myself. He said he was just biding his time. We agreed that we will not ever introduce Chloe to anyone that we are seeing with substance abuse issues. Although technically Gavin met Chloe at a neighbor’s house last weekend, but not in the context I’m talking about here. I told him I’d heard enough about his opinion of Gavin. It’s not that I felt some burning desire to defend his character (because he really doesn’t have any…), but I told him I felt like he was judging me for having been with him and I’m over that. It ended well. He swore not to tell his bf that I was FB stalking him…ROFL. We talked about some of our others and he finally admitted that he’s jealous of what Owen provides for me and he wishes he’d been able to do that. It’s been an interesting week with him. We’re finding our way and opening up more, which is kind of nice. There are still things we aren’t talking about obviously, but the flow of conversation is better and more open once the yelling dies down.

Here’s a little too much honesty though. Damien is in high pursuit and it’s making me uncomfortable. I’m supposed to start working out with him again tomorrow and I hope he calms this down. I was hanging out on the beach with him yesterday and he asked me about my love life. Since he initially told me that he’s in love with me, I’ve told him that’s not a topic of conversation for us to discuss. If you guys remember, he judged me hard for the Owen situation. He doesn’t know that I was with Owen specifically, but he knows I was with a married guy. I lied and said I stopped seeing him because it was easier that way. He’s also the one that set me up with Gavin and then got super upset when he found out Gavin got back with his gf and I was still seeing him. Here’s the irony…he wants me to become his 2nd gf. We were sitting on the beach yesterday and he reiterated his feelings for me and told me that his current gf really wants me to come into the picture because she eventually wants to step out and know that her son is taken care of…say what?? So not only do you want me to be with you in a polygamous relationship , but you want me to help you raise someone else’s kid?? Are you freaking kidding me? I wish men would keep their feelings to themselves sometimes. If I want to know, I’ll ask…otherwise, keep it quiet.

Tonight is my date with the Hungarian. He seems so sweet! He’s been emailing and texting me a lot and seems very excited about our date tonight. He’s taking me for dinner and drinks in town and then we’ll see where things go after that. He appears to have a personality, is cute, and employed. Oh, and he moved here from CA a few years ago where he was working with his brother that owns a vineyard…hello! I’m not going into this one looking for flaws…really.


Boys Boys Boys

I love being single so freaking much!  Each week in the summer, my work hosts an outdoor concert.  I typically volunteer to work the VIP section.  It’s easy, I can flirt with guys old and young alike, and I get free beer.  Can’t beat that!  So last night instead of working the “door” like normal I hopped behind the bar and lived out my fantasy of being a bartender.  I flirted left, right, up, down, old, young, ugly, cute.  It was crazy fun. 

One of the other volunteers got very flirty with me too.  He shall be known as Baby because….he’s only 24.  Eeeek!  I know!  I’m a cougar; actually, he said I’m just a cub.  We did exchange numbers and some very flirty texts afterwards but I’m keeping Baby in a playpen for now.  Though I’ll admit, I had some Mrs. Robinson fantasies while playing with Baby and tending bar.  At any rate, he’ll be at the concerts for the majority of the season so he shall provide me with great entertainment and more than a little ego stroking.

The Hot, Hottie, Hotterton (H3) beer guy from last week was working again and I got to spend some quality time with him.  H3 is so freaking good looking.  He’s drool-worthy!  I think he and Gwyn would be a perfect match.  She needs to bring her game on and make sure she’s there next week cause I can only be good for so long and something about H3 has Gwyn written all over him.  We did have some good conversation last night though and potentially he’s “sort of seeing someone” but I told him none of us cared about that.  LMFAO!  He’ll be around all the concerts and will be a lot of fun in the weeks to come.

In other boy news…  Motorcycle Man, after pressuring me for a date all week, got sick on Wednesday so we didn’t actually go out.  He has been trying to secure a weekend date but I’m being a bit of a stickler and telling him he has to have a plan for what we’re going to do and it has to be good.  I’m not his girlfriend and no way do I like him enough to just give up a weekend night to “hang out” until we figure out what to do.  He said I was being so freaking difficult and I just laughed.  I think I pissed him off Wednesday night because I haven’t heard from him since then.  I think I’m gonna let him fade back out.  We’ll see if he calls tonight about tomorrow.  The problem is I have booked myself for potentially the whole weekend.

Texas - My dreamy virtual boyfriend, he popped up with a text the other day that he’ll be back in this area in June.  I mentioned that that date was right around my birthday.  He texted back that that fact hadn’t escaped his attention.  This might just change my potential birthday plans if Texas will be where I can get a hold of him in real life.

College Crush – I’m greatly anticipating our date next weekend but I’m still scared he’s a doughboy.  The texting has definitely intensified and he’s not at all afraid to flirt heavily now.  I might have written a check my ass can’t cash by bragging about being able to drink a lot.  See in college I could.  I was the girl who could drink the guys under the table.  Now not so much though I can still hold my own.  We got in a series of texts about making a wager about that.  He threw out there, loser buys dinner when he comes to see me next time.  Nice he’s already working in the second date plans and we haven’t even had the first yet.  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see if he passes the fatty test next weekend.

The Giant – I had some surprising news from the Giant.  He’s going to be going overseas in about a month for a 9-month stint as a civilian contractor.  I knew he’d done that before but this came up quickly.  He just found out/agreed yesterday.  He’s gonna make $125K for 9 months work.  Crazy!  So I asked him well where does that leave us, did he want to keep hanging out.  He said he did but he was concerned about it being smart to get “involved” and “have feelings” when he was going to be gone so soon for so long.  Awwww – LOL.  I told him I was fine either way and that I knew he had a lot to take care of before he left so he just needed to think about it and let me know.  I’m still up for hanging out at him, hell it’s just getting into prime lake time.  I am disappointed that all my dreams of a summer fling with a lake house have now been dashed. 

FJB – No news to report. I’m still following Gwyn’s strict orders of no contact.  I think I’ve been instructed to email or IM him after the weekend. We’ll see where it goes then. I would like to see him again but I’ll admit with all the other man drama and the reappearance of Lawyer Boy, FJB has been knocked down a few pegs in the team standings.

Sawyer – I was weak and gave in after a month of being so strong and saw Sawyer this morning.  He’s definitely trying to pull me back in under his spell.  He told me that he’s planning to leave the wife this summer not that I believe it.  Sounds like things have gotten much worse for him with her though and if he does make that decision, I think it’d be the best for both of them.  Please note – this does not change where things stand with he and I.  I was just weak and damn it, he’s like a best friend in a weird sort of way, which only adds to his appeal.  But I’m strong, I am woman, hear me roar and all that crap.

Lastly but most excitingly, tonight starts Lawyer Boy and my weekend date!  Ever since I called him earlier this week he’s been blowing up my phone calling and even texting quite a bit.  I think he might really like me yall LOL.  When we were making plans earlier in the week he mentioned that he probably needed to not go too wild Friday night because he did need to do some studying on Saturday.  Then he said, hey if it’s alright I’ll just bring my books with me and I can study at your place Saturday.  HAHAHAH!  As the week progressed, this turned into an all weekend date.  Yeah, he’s planning to hang out with me until Sunday.  So in essence, I’ve committed myself to a 48-hour date with him.  Should be interesting.  I sure hope the chemistry in person is still as hot as it was from before.  Something about this guy…  I told Gwyn as I ran and errand to return a dress, I found myself buying new “Level 1” underwear (she must post about her levels of underwear – it changed the way I dress for dates lol) and literally breaking out in to a sweat as I remembered how banging his body was and frankly how freaking amazing the sex was.  If I get to see that body and have that sex all weekend, my Sunday afternoon update post will be quite dreamy.  If I get the chance, I’ll do a little mid-date update.  Stay tuned….


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Thrill of The Chase

I think this is one of my biggest attractions...I like the hunt. The problem with it is this when I find a guy that likes me and is truly available, I'm out. I'm sure this speaks volumes about me on a deep psychological level. Mr. NY has been blowing my phone up this week with texts. I find this overly weird b/c we've seen each other twice...yep, I said twice. How can you be that into someone after 2 "dates" and if he was so into me in the 1st place, then why did he post another ad? He claims it's because I was being lukewarm (true) and he didn't see this going anywhere based on my lack of availability. Apparently, he didn't correlate my last of availability with my lack of interest.
I did have Sunday night's date over Tuesday night for wine and sex. It was fun, but he is a little chubby. Well, not chubby so much as just not fit. He's going to the Big Island tomorrow for 4 days and then I think he leaves for Guam soon after that. I'm not sure if I'll see him again.
So, I'm going on a date Friday with a new guy. I was supposed to go out with the Hungarian guy last night, but he mentioned in convo that he gets to work at 4am and I felt really bad about having him come up to go out on a work night, so I offered to reschedule and he was thrilled. He said he didn't want to ask for another day for fear he'd appear flaky or not interested, bless his heart. Isn't that sweet? Hope he's not too sweet or I'll lose interest in him too.
I ran into Gavin in the supermarket yesterday. We were standing in THE aisle where he met Russell and he recanted the tale again. I think he kind of liked it...weirdo. Last night after this run in, the family and I were sitting on the porch eating dinner and we heard him and his gf having a HUGE screaming fight...slightly awkward, but entertaining all the same...like watching TV only live. Russell was so judging them (and me for having anything to do with him), but I found out via FB stalking that his bf just got convicted of a DUI and had to pay a fine and lost his license for 6 months. I'm thinking those of us living in glass trailers shouldn't throw stones, now should we?
Russell actually told me something sweet last night. He asked if I was going out or not so he could know whether to turn his phone off or not. He said on nights I go out, he leaves his phone on in case I need something. It warmed my cold heart...we had sort of stopped doing nice things for each other.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It Works for the Catholics

So I feel like I need to confess. Yesterday was a full on boy mania slut-tastic day.

The Barber texted me about 10am "Do it for lunch?" Of course, I said hell yes. I met him at my house for a quickie about noon. Then, at 5pm I gave in and let The Inmate come over and hang out for a little while before he had to be back at the halfway house. We didn't do anything physically at all, but if I would have indicated the slightest interest it would have been on like donkey kong. As soon as The Inmate left my house, I went to run an errand and then picked up Chinese food for me and Truck Driver to eat for dinner. I went over to Truck Driver's house about 6:30pm and stayed until about 10:30pm. We did the deed at approximately 9:30pm - by my calculations this makes me a huge slut.

I'm not sure what came over me yesterday but I'm going to chalk it up to pent up frustration in dealing with my insurance company (aka the devil) all morning about my car. It was either have sex with two guys within 10 hours or go on a shooting spree at my local insurance office. I'd say I made the right decision.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hells Bells

Mr. Chile is pulling ahead at the moment. I'm trying really hard to get past the wierd sex stuff because today was the most awesome "date" ever. He took me stand up paddleboarding. I've been dying to do this the entire time we've lived here and today I got to do it for about an hour and a half. It was awesome!!
He was so patient with me geting started. I'd never stood in the water on anything other than a boat before, so standing on a board seemed nuts. It took me like 4 attempts to actually stand up and then another 5 minutes of so to "get my sea legs". Then, I paddled all around the beach, down under a bridge into a cool river, and back out to sea. I almost lost it a little on this part. When I went back out to sea, the water was choppy and the wind had picked up. It was beyond my level of experience (um, which is none) and I got a little nervous, so I sat down. I was way the hell out and he'd been lying down in the sand. Well he popped up, noticed I was wayyy out to sea, and started pacing the beach. I think I made the poor man almost have a heart attack. I was mostly fine...not overly afraid...until a sea turtle came along. Of course, I stopped focusing to watch him swim around me and the current took me a little bit. He's really on the beach pacing now. I was laughing, but too far out to tell him that I was really fine. He finally stopped some outrigger canoers (is that a word??) and asked them to either let him borrow their boat or to come out and check on me. They paddled out and I told them I was fine. It was my first time and he was just nervous that I was so far. I continued in and he apparently didn't trust that they had actually checked on me because he jumps in and swims out to me. I kept trying to tell him en route that I was cool, but he was on a mission. He realized once he got there that I was totally ok and we sat there watching another turtle play around for a while. I got back up and headed in, but he was making me laugh so I ended up falling in (this was the only time!). I made it back up, paddled back in, and he swam back to shore.
So here's my dilemma, I loved SUP (stand up paddleboarding) and the boards are about $1000. You can rent them, but that adds up. He brings good liquor to the house and I think he could be trained to be less weird in bed...I'm thinking he may get to hang around some -at least this summer while I can SUP North Shore.

He's Baaaackkkkk

OMG Lawyer Boy is back!  Gwyn and I were having a conversation about how all guys have a purpose and the subject of Lawyer Boy came up and I declared I’d call him at lunch today.  After almost chickening out, I HATE to call a guy first, I did.  And we had an awesome 45-minute conversation. 

We talked about all sorts of stuff and the best part of talking to him has always been that he really listens and asks questions.  He also really talks about stuff, not just chitchat.  He is definitely a good conversationalist.  Maybe the best I’ve been out with thus far.

Lawyer Boy did apologize for it being so long between the last time we saw each other and said he’d just been overwhelmed with studying for the bar and ex drama and taking care of his little girl.  Plus he’d lost his phone so he didn’t have my contact info.  Whatever, I really don’t care about the excuses.  I wasn’t ever pissed, just disappointed.  On the new phone note, he does have a phone he can text on now.  Thank heavens!  Boys that don’t text are so much less fun.

He was super cute though on the phone saying how much he missed me and had enjoyed hanging out with me.  He asked me to go out this Friday and maybe hang out through the weekend LOL.  I asked what he wanted to do and he suggested going to the city where I work and I said I’d check with Gwyn maybe we could do a group outing thing.  He said, “Actually now that I think about it, I’d really just like to hang out with you.  Maybe we can stay around your place, grab some dinner, and then watch a movie and spend some time together.”  WTF – a real date?  LOL! 

Lawyer Boy also reiterated that he was sorry his availability was all screwed up due to studying for the bar and that he really wanted to “give me the attention” I deserve but his time is so slammed between studying and his daughter.  I reminded him that I knew that and was totally ok with it from the get go and pointed out that it’s mighty convenient our kids are on the same visitation schedule so we pretty much have the same weekends free.  He hadn’t thought about that and said that was perfect for us to have time together and that he thought we could “really have something serious.”  That he knew we’d kind of jumped straight into the frying pan but that he really did like me.  OMG I know right.  Whatever.  I said let’s just get you through the bar and then we can worry about that down the road.  LOL - Boys are so funny!

I’m excited!  I admit I did a silent girly squeal and had to stalk Gwyn down in the bathroom to share my excitement.  Despite work kicking my ass the last few weeks this week is turning out to be most entertaining!


Kitty Power

I realize I have been slacking lately on the blog and I apologize. Work has been crazy and last week was capped off with a hit and run accident that totaled my car – I was on my way to see Truck Driver when these guys ran a red light and hit me….then took off. Truck Driver was nice enough to come and sit with me while I waited on the police and even after the police got there (he had just gotten into town from being on the road, this was about 2:30am). Needless to say it sort of ruined the mood for the night but we still managed to have some fantastic sex which helped me forget about the accident at least for a little while. I have been wanting a new car so maybe this is a blessing in disguise – grandma also told me she’d give me a couple thousand dollars to help with a downpayment under the condition that I don’t drive the new car at 2am. If she only knew where I was going at 2am…..I lied and told her I was going to pick up my drunk roommate. If you read my other blog, you know grandma would probably disown me if I told her I was on my way to handle a big black microphone!

But anyways, my roommate and I were having boy talk yesterday and the main topic of conversation was how it is sooooooooo much easier to get what you want from a man before you give him the goods. This may also be referred to as the power of the p***y (I’m sorry I really hate the ‘p’ word I can’t even bring myself to type it). For example, I am driving The Inmate literally crazy because not only will I not see him when he wants me to I won’t let him have any physical contact with me, besides maybe a hug. But it’s like the more I resist the more he tries. I could literally tell this guy that I think his breath stinks and his dick is tiny and he would look me straight in the face and say “So, you wanna hang out tomorrow?” He even came and picked me up from a work event last week (the one where Miranda got drunk and made out with a brace face) and drove me to my car – my car, RIP, was less than a mile down the road. It’s so fun to mess with him but at the same time I realize I’m doing to him what I don’t like done to me. That could come back to bite me…..But really, I know if and when I decide to have sex with this guy (which is probably inevitable once he gets out of the halfway house) I’m going to lose all the power. I’ll be the one blowing up his phone all day long and trying to get his attention. I hate that.

It’s such a delicate balance. On one hand we want to give it up because we don’t want the guy to get it from another girl mainly – also because we like sex just as much as men do. But, on the other hand we want to wait so that the guy respects us and doesn’t view us as just another piece of ass – not to mention the impending loss of power. I guess my mom was right when she told me sex changes everything. Sometimes I fantasize about going back in time to when I was still a virgin. Life was a breeze, boys weren’t complicated and my self-esteem was fully intact. Guess I’d better start working on that time machine…..
I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling with the whole ‘when to give it up’ concept – I know Miranda has encountered this very issue with FJB. So what do you think, is there ever a perfect time to go all the way? Why is it that once you’ve given it up you lose the power?

I’ll end this post with a brief Man Team update:

The Barber – we hung out last Wednesday and had a blast, as usual; he was supposed to come over last night but got too busy (shocking I know); we are meeting up on Thursday or Friday because he’s giving me the money to pay my deductible for my accident - $250 to be exact; at the rate I’m going this car accident is going to MAKE me money

Truck Driver – I spent the night with him on Friday and Saturday nights; we’ve had a few issues involving his interest in texting/messaging 500 girls, but I’ve really decided not to concern myself with the other girls anymore because I’m the one he’s spending time with and if I’m not enough for him then it’s his loss; he comes back today from being on the road and told me, ‘When I come home I need you to come get in my bed’ LOL

Crossfit – we texted briefly on Thursday and again on Sunday, initiated by me of course; I basically told him I’m not doing anything else besides waiting for him to let me know when he is coming to my city to visit, so far he has not made good on his promise to do a better job; his sister’s wedding was this weekend so now there are no more excuses; he did say on Thursday that his week had been hectic and if he didn’t have to pack (this was about 9pm) he would drive to see me – I call bullshit on that; I’m starting to think this is why he is single, he has no idea how to effectively communicate

The Inmate – I have him on a string; he texts and calls me every day and is begging me to see him even if it’s just for a few minutes; I keep denying him and occasionally give him something to keep him interested (like a sexy pic); he wants to see me today after work for an hour but I haven’t decided if I’m going to or not, I might do it just so he can see me in the dress that I wore to work today :)


Apparently I'm a Lesbian

So I think I’ve mentioned I play softball and yes, I have made quite a few lesbian friends from this endeavor.  One girl in particular, I’ve become pretty good friends with and Ladybug loves her to death.  She talks about this girl all the time and says she’s her best friend.  Well last night the kids and me went to dinner with this girl. 

On the way home, I had to ask Duckie to grab Leo from school because I was running late and when I got to his house, we actually had a brief visit.  I mentioned in passing that the kids and I were going out to dinner with this girl last night and he made some random comment like “Oh I didn’t know you were such good friends” but I didn’t really think of it either way. 

So we go to dinner and then this morning Duckie calls Ladybug (it’s her fourth birthday – hurrah!).  After talking to her and Leo, he asks to talk to me – this NEVER happens.  I get on the phone and he busts out with, “Are you and GIRL having a relationship?”  I stammered a “Well we are friends,” and did my best to keep from laughing.  He said something like well Ladybug talks to her all the time and now you’re going out to dinner and that just seems a little weird.  LMFAO!  I was dying laughing! 

In case you didn’t know, apparently if you have gay friends and you choose to eat dinner with them it means you are gay.  Good thing he doesn’t know how often this girl and I exchange texts or we might even qualify as a gay married couple.

Gwyn came with me to Ladybug’s party on Saturday so I’m sure he thinks she’s my girlfriend too.  I so should have played it up and acted like I was gay.  Maybe it would make things easier on him!  The funny thing too is that any time I talk to or about one of Team Miranda in front of the kids, I change the guy’s name into a girl version.  So who knows how many “girls” Duckie has heard the kids talk about at this point!

Quick boy update – Motorcycle Man is back apparently.  He started texting me with the “I miss you” and “Let’s go out again” stuff yesterday.  I told him we could have dinner Wednesday night but I’m gonna have to be real clear with him that this is casual.  He is getting smart to my game though because he also already asked to do something this weekend, which I did not commit to by the way.  Also, as predicted, Sawyer’s blowing up my email after seeing me on Saturday and wanting to get together.  So far, fate is conspiring against us because we have literally no time this week we could spend together.  Texas is back to texting me after his self-imposed week of non-texting.  I don’t know how he did it.  I couldn’t not text if I had to at this point.  And last, but certainly not least, following Gwyn’s strict orders I’ve had no contact with FJB but then yesterday he posted some little funny thing on my Facebook page so maybe he’s coming back around.  I did post something after he did but otherwise I’m following Gwyn’s orders and not initiating anything!


Prospects and Updates

I was just looking at my course schedule for the fall when it hit me, I might find a hottie professor while in school. Then, I looked up the faculty and decided that wasn’t in the cards. When I was in my undergrad program, I had a HUGE crush on one of my professors. I was with Russell though, so nothing to be done about it. Well that and I was 23 and he was probably 43 at the time…just not an appropriate thing, but the man is yummy all the same. This is what I’m doing at work today while I’m so exhausted I can hardly function.
I had a date last night with this guy from PofF. We started chatting last week and we were finally able to go out last night. It was a really fun date, but I don’t know about him. He’s military, going to Guam, and will be traveling back to HI every few months for training. The other thing is that while we didn’t have sex…I could tell he’s hung, but I could also tell that he could stand to lose a few pounds. I don’t mean that to sound ugly, but I’m really into fit, well built guys. I was even into that type when I myself needed to lose a few pounds. He’s super nice and entertaining though…very easy to talk to and interesting conversation.
Anyway, the date was AMAZING. We started at a local restaurant for drinks. After, we went to my favorite beach and sat out under the stars for hours. We sat there and talked and talked and then made out for something like 3 ½ hours. He showed me the Big and Small Dippers and literally the sky was just full of stars. It’s dark up where I live, so you can really see them very clearly…just breathtaking. I crawled home and into the bed a little after 2pm. I texted with him until he got home about 2:45…I woke up for work at 7pm. I’m thinking I might be too old to date like this. He’s texting me now to see if he can come over tonight. Part of me really wants him to so I can find out more about this package, but part of me is so tired I can hardly form a coherent thought.
Mr. NY is driving me nuts. First of all, I noticed that he reposted an ad on CL last week. I have a HUGE issue with that. Adam did it to me when we were seeing each other and it really pissed me off. Now mind you I’m obviously dating several (many) people, but c’mon. It’s just super poor form…really. I noticed it and didn’t address it with him b/c I assumed we were done. I’m done anyway. He sent me a text Saturday night asking if I was busy, to which I replied “Yes…btw guessing you didn’t get a big response from you latest ad”. He was all like “What?” I hate when men play stupid…you’re busted, own it. We texted for a few hours and basically I told him I’m not what he’s looking for…get this why don’t you? His ad is seeking a sugar mama to meet his needs. He’s looking for someone that will embrace his materialistic needs, buy him things, feed him, cloth him, etc. I’m not kidding…really, it’s how the ad reads. I told him I find those traits to be extremely unattractive.
No word from Gavin since Saturday at the neighbors…I’m curious to see if I ever hear from him again…lol. He was very good natured about it all, but I think it scared the crap out of him. We’ve established that I’m not into him outside of sex, so really it’s not a big deal either way…mostly curious from a human nature standpoint to see where he goes from here with it. I’m ready for him to move…out of sight, out of the kitty.
I have another date lined up Wednesday night with a new guy. He’s Hungarian…could be interesting…never dated a Hungarian before. Mr. Chile offered to take me stand up paddle boarding this week too. I’m dying to learn and lessons are like $50. I hope by doing a middle of the day activity, he’ll get that nothing is to come out of it…but on the other hand I feel a little badly using him for his skills just not badly enough to revisit anything sexually…ewww.
PS Just had webcam fun with Texas again (my version of Texas...Miranda and I are not sharing)...he's moving back July 17th - hot damn! He's going to live literally down the road from me...so kind of like neighbor sex, but less close and awkward. So during webcam fun with Tx, Mr. NY is blowing up my phone with crazy texts...glad he doesn't know where I live...uggg.

Sunday, May 16, 2010


I'm literaly ROFL...dude, Russell is my total hero right now. He went to the market just now to pick up alcohol for tonight and who should be in that aisle, but Gavin and our neighbor guy. Important to insert that he was with our friend, Kevin, who the neighbors think is his bf, but really is a guy that we had a 3way with and we still hang around (non-sexually). Neighbor guy (who knows about Gavin and I in the past) said "Hey" to Russell and then said "Do you two know each other?" meaning Russell and Gavin. Neighbor guy then goes to look at something and Russell turns to Gavin shakes his hand and says "Hey, aren't you the guy fucking my wife?". Gavin apparently turned 83 shades of pale and "Yeah, I think so.". OMG, I'm still dying laughing as I type this. When the neighbor guy comes back, Gavin said "Don't you live down the street?". Russell said that there was nothing but a total look of intimidation on his face. Gavin is bigger than Russell with regards to bulk, but Russell is taller. I would have given my left arm to have been in that aisle and witnessed this hilariousness of this situation.

So, THEN my neighbor comes over and she's all like you have to come over and hang with me...Gavin and my husband are drunk and they're driving me nuts. I totally went and Gavin's all like "I met your husband today.". He recanted the tale slightly differently, but OMG funny. He said Russell gave him his jolt for the day. Then, he left about 5 minutes later....bless his heart, I think we made him uncomfortable....LMAO.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Failure to Launch

It’s just been a hell of a week wrapped up by a very abnormal, fun, and weird Saturday.

Thursday I worked at a benefit concert for my work. There are tons of stories here starting with as I left a slightly inebriated voicemail for Gwyn a “hot hottie hotterton” very good looking beer guy. Gwyn and I spent a couple hours drooling over him and at the end of the event I got to meet this fine fellow. He’ll be at all the benefit concerts to come so the eye candy will be delightful.

Randomly his “boss” ended up asking to be introduced to me that same night. Cute guy, a little on the sort side though. We hung out for a couple hours after the concert just talking. He was trying to bring a big game for a short guy but it was fun to flirt and play. I did let him kiss me a time or two. But seriously, he’s so not Team Miranda eligible. Number one he’s only an inch or so taller than me, number two he clearly thinks he’s a player, and number three, call me shallow, but he lives in a trailer. LOL!

In conversation I made a joke about where he grew up being full of trailer parks and he told me he grew up in one and still lived in one. HA! Quite a funny moment to dig myself out of. He’s also got braces which are actually kind of cute. First time I can remember kissing a guy with braces since I was in middle school. I did end up with a free case of beer from hanging out with him. Score!

That night when I got home, I ended up chatting simultaneously with College Crush and FJB. After the weirdness with FJB earlier in the week I don’t know what I expected but it was still weird. He failed to secure the date for Friday even after I handed it to him on a virtual silver platter. In the conversation he told me I was acting too “available.” I thought my head was going to explode. I mean seriously, we talk at most every 3-4 days and we’ve only gone out 3 times in as many weeks. I left the conversation with he knew my number if he wanted to call me and that perhaps I’d answer. I don’t understand what’s going on with him. Before I was willing to “wait” for him but now I’m not so sure.

At the same time I was having that weird conversation with FJB, I was having a delightful conversation with College Crush. Since we’ve set the date for the end of this month he’s definitely stepped up his game. And I’m really keeping my fingers crossed that he’s not the Pillsbury Doughboy. I had taken some random Facebook quiz about the kind of guy I like (the comedian was my result in case you were wondering) and he mentioned that he saw it and “oh by the way, I think I’m pretty funny.” He said a bunch of other cute stuff too that made me laugh and took a little out of the sting of the FJB conversation. I’m really looking forward to hanging out with him in real life in a couple of weeks.

So then Friday Gwyn and I were trapped in an awful, all day point less training in which we laughed, cut up, made fun, complained, and basically obliterated all benefit of the training. Word on the street is that the entire staff hated it and basically slammed it on the evaluations, but I digress. Since FJB’s failure to launch, I thought I was going to have a lonely Friday night at home. About the time I had put on my pj’s, and had a beer or two, the Giant called. He’d been at a family dinner and cut out early hoping I’d come see him. And I did. I packed my overnight bag and headed out for a little lakeside adventure. My intention had been to lay off the Giant until this thing with FJB worked itself out but I’ll admit my ego needed a little stroking and I do like the Giant.

It’s so freaking romantic out at his lake house. I got out there relatively late but we sat on his deck and watched a storm rolling on the far side of the lake for a long time. Just sitting there in the dark, snuggling up, chatting, and listening to the lake sounds. A girl could definitely get used to it I tell you want. It was cute too because it started to get chilly and I just had on a short sleeve shirt so he offered me one of his. I’m not exaggerating when I say that it hung down to my knees and the sleeves were a good 6 inches longer than my hands. We had a very nice, romantic time in what Gwyn coined “adult activities.” He’s a genuine good guy, at least as far as I could see. You never know, I could end up with a summer boyfriend with a lake house… how convenient. I will say two odd things I’ve noticed about him – 1. His hands are just barely bigger than mine. Very odd considering how big of a guy he is. And 2, sometimes during our adult activities, he makes this little sound that sounds an awful lot like a girl’s happy moan. LMFAO. It just comes out every once in a while but it makes me want to laugh.

On to my crazy weird Saturday. Today we had Ladybug’s birthday party at a local skating rink. So I got the awkward enjoyment of hanging out with Duckie. Though things seem slightly better than they were before, he's still mighty standoffish.  Sawyer was there with his kids of course. Since we’ve not been communicating much I didn’t know if he was going to actually be there or not but he was. When I questioned him about it, he told me in his slick Sawyer ways “he wouldn’t have missed it for the world just to get to hang out with me.” Gwyn was at the party so she actually got to meet him first hand. It’s so freaking hard to behave with him. I’m like a moth to the flame. It’s ridiculous. I know it’s unhealthy, I know it’s stupid, I know it’s taking a huge risk, but I want to see him. There’s just this chemistry between us that’s undeniable. If we were both single, I think we could have a potential blast, well, that is if we could trust each other. But that’s never going to happen now is it…
I’m going to do my best to be strong and stay away from him. I got lured into talking to him for an extended period of time and he asked me if Duckie was going to be mad. I told him I didn’t really care how Duckie felt about me talking to him and as I said that I looked across the room and saw Gwyn staring at me and thought to myself, “Duckie might not get mad but Gwyn sure will!” LOL!

I’m struck by things Jules and Gwyn say as well as with some of the blogs we’re following on the left side of this blog, that we all seem to have that one guy we just can’t resist. The one who strings us along to some degree and that even though we know we shouldn’t keep messing with him, we do. Wonder why that is?



Sanity is such an arbitrary term anyway, but I'm pretty sure mine's gone. Feel free to judge me here, but I had sex with Gavin last night. I sent Miranda a text last night and her reply was "Ewwwww did you kiss him?" I responded "No way! That would have been gross!" Oh why, oh why can't I get that man out of my kitty?? He's not on my brain that's for sure, but the kitty loves it...even knowing the gross shit that I do about him and his gf...ugg. He's moving next week, which I really do think will be a big step and then he goes to NJ for the summer. When I asked him last night why he's not moving in with his gf, he responded "Because she has a restraining order out on me...". WTF? Why am I even talking to this guy, much less having sex with him?? Why must I like the bad boys? I guess it's the sense of danger and excitement.
Speaking of danger, I went for my annual exam yesterday. I got fully tested, so next week this time I should know all of my results. I've been fairly safe with everyone, except Owen...so I'm not worried. Well maybe a little, I was having unprotected sex with Russell until January.
On a completely unrelated side note, OMG I've got the worst PMS ever...I may kill someone in this house soon. I just made Russell take Chloe with him to the dentist for her own personal safety. I guess not totally unrelated...insanity really has set in.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Hangover

Miranda, the fact that FJB thought you accidentally sent him a text meant for one of your gf's sparked this post. I am so hungover today (yep, it's a Thursday...but after you read this post, you'll get why). I got a text yesterday afternoon from Russell that was OBVIOUSLY intended for his bf. I won't go into details because honestly it made me throw up in my mouth a little, but it involved fingering his ass. Ok, so I lied...there was some detail in there. Anyway, I pointed out his faux pas and I got texts back along the lines of "LMAO". Um, that's NOT cool. First of all, I was disgusted by reading that text...which is a good thing b/c if the thought of Russell sexually completely repulses me...it means I'm out of the jealousy phase (thank you again, FB). Second of all, I got super pissed by his response to his error. I had to literally text yell at him for an hour before he apologized sincerely. WTF? He's damn near 40 years old...he's such an immature ass sometimes.
Then I get home...apparently he was chatting up one of our neighbors while I was driving home from work. She's the neighborhood gossip, but I kind of like her anyway. She knows me from Gavin's one night, but then we met again when we moved here. She loves to dish with me about Gavin and his gf. I don't really care for all the details of his life, but since she hates the gf...it's usually not flattering stuff coming out of her mouth...which we've established does make me feel better. Now that being said, what and why she shared this with Russell last night is beyond me...why Gavin shared it with her is REALLY beyond me. (It's like a Mexican soap opera around here...really.) I came home to Russell telling me that Neighbor Lady told him that Gavin told her yesterday that his gf is so strung out that she's pretty much quit bathing. Um, gross...but wait there's MORE. He apparently told her that he went down on his gf the other day and her ass wasn't clean due to the lack of bathing. I will never in life kiss him again....ever. I'm still so grossed out. See why I drank so much on a Wednesday?? Unfortunately for me, it didn't erase this from my brain.
Goal for Thursday, May 13th: I don't want to hear about anyone's ass.

Waiting to Exhale

So things have been all over the place this week. After FJB’s weirdness of our last date, I finally had a blunt conversation with him. Apparently, after our night together I sent him a text that was “I’m still in bed. Haha. FJB (well his real name) rocks!” When he got that text, he thought it was odd; that it sounded like I didn’t mean to send it to him but to one of my girls instead. That coupled with the fact that apparently I let it slip that night that I had a joint blog with two other girls made him feel a little awkward. (I'll say on one had I think this whole issue is stupid but at the same time if the roles were reversed, I can understand why he feels like this. Also, I wish my lips didn't get so loose when I drank! I haven't told any of the boys other than Sawyer about the blog and I can't for the life of me think why this came up in conversation. Oh well!)

He was up front during this discussion and said right off the bat that he has “trust issues” and that he’s a really private person. Maybe some girl has really done him wrong in the past? I haven’t really delved into his past dating life yet but it sounds like it’s about time to peel back the layers and see what makes FJB tick. He did fess up to this internal issue being why he was so reserved last time we went out but that he was legitimately sick last Saturday when he canceled.

I reassured him that that text was meant to be sent to him and that the only things I’d say blog wise had been very complimentary and very non-identifying. I did tell him in the future if he preferred to not be mentioned in the blog, I’d do my best to hold myself to that standard. He asked to read the blog……um, that got a big NO. I told him it was basically a diary, because it is, and that it’s done with two other girls and it’s really not fair to reveal their personal business, especially since he has a good chance of meeting Gwyn if he and I continue to date.

He said he really liked me and he wanted to trust me and he knew he was just struggling with his own issues. I told him I liked him and that I’d been as straight up as I could be with him and that the ball was in his court now if we were going to go out again. I think things ended on a good note. He posted a little jokey thing on my Facebook page yesterday so now I’m just playing the waiting game to see what he’s going to do next. I hope that we’ll go out tomorrow.

The hard thing will be that if we continue to date and he says he doesn’t want to be in the blog, it’s going to be hard to stick to that. This has definitely become my therapeutic outlet for talking about what’s going on and reveling in the fun of my single girl social life. That being said, I do already like FJB enough that I would do my best to respect his wishes and I’d put the rest of Team Miranda on hold. Hmmm, that tells you an awful lot about me huh?

In other boy news, Motorcycle Man has definitely ridden off into the sunset. After ignoring him while I was out with the Giant, I haven’t heard from him since. Too bad I never got those Rainbow flip flops he was gonna buy me. The Giant and I have texted most of the week but I’m trying to let that slow down so I can see where this thing with FJB is going first. I can see me and the Giant dating but it doesn’t make as much sense as me and FJB. College Crush has been quiet this week but High School Crush came back with a vengeance yesterday. He’s pretty funny – and pretty freaking hot! Last but certainly not least, Texas has been punishing me this week – LOL. After being an affirmed non-texter, he’s gotten slightly addicted to texting the last few weeks and I teased him about it on Monday. Apparently, he’s trying to teach me a lesson in self-restraint and he’s been refusing to text me since then. Though he’s still emailing and IM’ing me. I told him my phone misses his phone haha. He’s funny. We had a very interesting long conversation Saturday night, which I’ll post about later.

Keep your fingers crossed for FJB!


PS – I’ve been very, very strong this week and only exchanged a few emails with Sawyer on Monday. But it’s hard. Bad habits are so hard to break!!!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

O-M-G Moment

I just had one of those "YES!" moments...no, I wasn't having an orgasm...that was earlier in the day. I was smelling the scent of "HAHA...I was jealous of that??!". You guys read (if you didn't, I posted it a few days ago) about how I'm jealous Russell has moved on to seeing someone. I just posted earlier today about how I find monogamy unsatisfying and it's certainly not what I'm looking for, but I get why he is...it's safer in the gay commmunity. (I supppose it's safer in general but it's just not my MO and for those of you that wonder, my next check up is this Friday.) Anyway, I was on Russell's FB page today and discovered a guy by the same name as his new BF. I've been curious to see what he looks like. I know he's wayyyy younger, but I hadn't seen him (or asked to for that matter). I'm SO glad I looked...he's not cute!! It made me feel so much better...shallow, I know. Thanks FB for allowing me to feel better about myself by noting that my husband's bf is not hot and no, I don't feel the need to think about how that sentence sounded as I already admitted it was shallow. ;)