As The World Turns

Russell and I had a very interesting and honest conversation last night. It started with a fight though that he kind of started. I’m usually the one that starts those, but not this time. He started in again on Gavin and I told him that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw such large stones. He asked what I meant and I fessed up to FB stalking his bf and learning that he has a DUI. I accused him of not telling me for fear I’d judge this kid even more than I already do and he admitted some small truth to that, but he also knew I’d look at some point and find out for myself. He said he was just biding his time. We agreed that we will not ever introduce Chloe to anyone that we are seeing with substance abuse issues. Although technically Gavin met Chloe at a neighbor’s house last weekend, but not in the context I’m talking about here. I told him I’d heard enough about his opinion of Gavin. It’s not that I felt some burning desire to defend his character (because he really doesn’t have any…), but I told him I felt like he was judging me for having been with him and I’m over that. It ended well. He swore not to tell his bf that I was FB stalking him…ROFL. We talked about some of our others and he finally admitted that he’s jealous of what Owen provides for me and he wishes he’d been able to do that. It’s been an interesting week with him. We’re finding our way and opening up more, which is kind of nice. There are still things we aren’t talking about obviously, but the flow of conversation is better and more open once the yelling dies down.

Here’s a little too much honesty though. Damien is in high pursuit and it’s making me uncomfortable. I’m supposed to start working out with him again tomorrow and I hope he calms this down. I was hanging out on the beach with him yesterday and he asked me about my love life. Since he initially told me that he’s in love with me, I’ve told him that’s not a topic of conversation for us to discuss. If you guys remember, he judged me hard for the Owen situation. He doesn’t know that I was with Owen specifically, but he knows I was with a married guy. I lied and said I stopped seeing him because it was easier that way. He’s also the one that set me up with Gavin and then got super upset when he found out Gavin got back with his gf and I was still seeing him. Here’s the irony…he wants me to become his 2nd gf. We were sitting on the beach yesterday and he reiterated his feelings for me and told me that his current gf really wants me to come into the picture because she eventually wants to step out and know that her son is taken care of…say what?? So not only do you want me to be with you in a polygamous relationship , but you want me to help you raise someone else’s kid?? Are you freaking kidding me? I wish men would keep their feelings to themselves sometimes. If I want to know, I’ll ask…otherwise, keep it quiet.

Tonight is my date with the Hungarian. He seems so sweet! He’s been emailing and texting me a lot and seems very excited about our date tonight. He’s taking me for dinner and drinks in town and then we’ll see where things go after that. He appears to have a personality, is cute, and employed. Oh, and he moved here from CA a few years ago where he was working with his brother that owns a vineyard…hello! I’m not going into this one looking for flaws…really.

-Jules