The Hangover
Miranda, the fact that FJB thought you accidentally sent him a text meant for one of your gf's sparked this post. I am so hungover today (yep, it's a Thursday...but after you read this post, you'll get why). I got a text yesterday afternoon from Russell that was OBVIOUSLY intended for his bf. I won't go into details because honestly it made me throw up in my mouth a little, but it involved fingering his ass. Ok, so I lied...there was some detail in there. Anyway, I pointed out his faux pas and I got texts back along the lines of "LMAO". Um, that's NOT cool. First of all, I was disgusted by reading that text...which is a good thing b/c if the thought of Russell sexually completely repulses me...it means I'm out of the jealousy phase (thank you again, FB). Second of all, I got super pissed by his response to his error. I had to literally text yell at him for an hour before he apologized sincerely. WTF? He's damn near 40 years old...he's such an immature ass sometimes.
Then I get home...apparently he was chatting up one of our neighbors while I was driving home from work. She's the neighborhood gossip, but I kind of like her anyway. She knows me from Gavin's one night, but then we met again when we moved here. She loves to dish with me about Gavin and his gf. I don't really care for all the details of his life, but since she hates the gf...it's usually not flattering stuff coming out of her mouth...which we've established does make me feel better. Now that being said, what and why she shared this with Russell last night is beyond me...why Gavin shared it with her is REALLY beyond me. (It's like a Mexican soap opera around here...really.) I came home to Russell telling me that Neighbor Lady told him that Gavin told her yesterday that his gf is so strung out that she's pretty much quit bathing. Um, gross...but wait there's MORE. He apparently told her that he went down on his gf the other day and her ass wasn't clean due to the lack of bathing. I will never in life kiss him again....ever. I'm still so grossed out. See why I drank so much on a Wednesday?? Unfortunately for me, it didn't erase this from my brain.
Goal for Thursday, May 13th: I don't want to hear about anyone's ass.
-Jules
Then I get home...apparently he was chatting up one of our neighbors while I was driving home from work. She's the neighborhood gossip, but I kind of like her anyway. She knows me from Gavin's one night, but then we met again when we moved here. She loves to dish with me about Gavin and his gf. I don't really care for all the details of his life, but since she hates the gf...it's usually not flattering stuff coming out of her mouth...which we've established does make me feel better. Now that being said, what and why she shared this with Russell last night is beyond me...why Gavin shared it with her is REALLY beyond me. (It's like a Mexican soap opera around here...really.) I came home to Russell telling me that Neighbor Lady told him that Gavin told her yesterday that his gf is so strung out that she's pretty much quit bathing. Um, gross...but wait there's MORE. He apparently told her that he went down on his gf the other day and her ass wasn't clean due to the lack of bathing. I will never in life kiss him again....ever. I'm still so grossed out. See why I drank so much on a Wednesday?? Unfortunately for me, it didn't erase this from my brain.
Goal for Thursday, May 13th: I don't want to hear about anyone's ass.
-Jules
OMG - I'm gagging and laughing at the same time. That is nasty on both accounts. Please stay away from Gavin's mouth and his nasty girlfriend's ass lol.
ReplyDeleteBTW - Text Yell is my new favorite phrase.
But at least your mouth felt sanitized with alcohol, right? :-)
ReplyDeleteHey...wanna hear a funny story about my ass? Kidding! Yeah, this definitely wins the award for the grossest post yet on this blog. Not that it really matters but if Gavin's gf has not been bathing WHY in HELL would he go down on her in the first place? Damn, now I think I think I just threw up in my mouth a little!
ReplyDeleteIt does make one wonder...yes, my mouth felt ok b/c of all the alcohol I consume and when I saw him on Tuesday I didn't kiss him. It's actually been a few weeks since I kissed him...not that this makes me feel a lot better, but some. It was definitely an 'EWWWWWW' moment! Russell could have kept that to himself...really, all of it!
ReplyDelete-Jules