On A Whim

I took a step back today and discovered that this is how I make every major decision in my life...on a whim. I got married to Russell on a whim. We were hanging out a lot, there was definitely something there, we were bffs, he asked, and on a whim I said yes. I had Chloe on a whim. He wanted a kid, he asked, I said ok, of course thinking I'd been on the pill since Jesus was a boy and there was no way I'd get pregnant so fast (ummm, 2 months later...). I started having affairs on a whim too. I was looking at swinger websites on the Internet and thought it sounded like fun so I posted a profile. I moved with him to Hawaii on a whim. I was bored and unhappy in NC. He proposed the idea and applied for a job. Literally 6 weeks later we were here...on a whim. I met Owen (and all the others) the same way. I put an ad on CL one night bored...he replied. I was nervous about meeting him the first time b/c he refused to send me a pic without sunglasses on and I was afraid of what he might look like (stupid, stupid me...the man is SMOKING HOT). I actually met a different guy the day I was supposed to meet Owen and had horrible, awkward sex. I met Owen the following week and have kicked myself in the ass numerous times for blowing him off that first day. I digress...I just put him in here because he's the longest affair I've had ringing in at almost a year and a half now. I applied for my Masters degree on a whim...I wanted to be challenged more. I asked for a divorce on a whim...I was super unhappy and that seemed like instant gratification at the time.
Today, I decided to quit my job that is an hour to an hour and half (depending on traffic) away to take a commission based sales job at a local art gallery around the corner from my house...on a whim. They posted the position last Friday. Saturday night I was sitting at home before Mr. Chile came over and on a whim, I applied. They set up an interview for today and she offered me the job on the spot. I'm super nervous and excited all at the same time. It's a great gallery with a chance to make some really sweet cash, which would decrease my overall financially dependent status. I'm just not sure about my sales skills. I called my mother to tell her about it today and to report that due to my current status I think I may be experiencing my mid life crisis at 34 yrs old. I'm going back to school, I'm getting divorced, I've quit the job in my professional field to potentially start a new career that incidentally has nothing to do with my Masters that I start in August, and I'm sleeping around like I'm 18 again (I left out the last part when I was discussing this with the Mother, but bless her heart she knows.)I'd be really worried if it wasn't a life pattern of mine. Obviously I don't understand the people that labor over decisions. Ok, I take that back. I don't labor over the big decisions (as you can clearly see here). I labor over the small ones. I got a new cell phone last fall and I spent a ridiculous amount of time (like 2-3 days) researching my options, reading reviews, and comparing different models. Analyze that...
-Jules
PS I went to the beach this afternoon with Gaines. OMG there could not have been less chemistry if I'd been on the beach with Bob Barker. It just wasn't there. Last night, he was chatty and charming. Today, he was a boring bump on a log. Snooze...easy come, easy go.