Intentional Boredom

Miranda, thought your last post was a riot. I guess I should hang onto a guy that buys me sex toys.
Well here's an interesting one for you guys to dissect. I was feeling a little caught up in this whole Canada thing (hence my last post titled as such) and while he totally has chalked up what I said to too much wine last night and kept it fairly light from feelings today, I was a bit overwhelmed. I was texting with this guy, Joe Blow, before I met Canada. He seemed a little slow with the convo and not really into meeting so I left it alone. He has continued to randomly text me and it's still been very slow going chatting. I had set up to meet him once and bailed. Then tonight in a fit of being overwhelmed by Canada, asked him if he wanted to come over. He said he did and then that was it. I got a text at the appointed time saying he was almost here. I was so not ready and told him that he hadn't really followed up with any further chat to let me know that, so I was sorry but I needed 15 minutes to get ready. I took that time plus a little and realized that I know absolutely nothing about this guy...hell, I don't even know his last name. Fortunately I had told him approximately where I live, but not my actual address yet. Red flags starting going off and I texted him to tell him I didn't think I wanted to meet. So, he calls me. I hate when people call me like this, but I felt like maybe if I talked to him and he had a sexy voice or something I would change my mind. He didn't and I didn't. He actually sounded like a total loser on the phone, so I told him it wasn't happening and was incredibly thankful he had called after the fact. He was pissed (rightfully so) and sent me a text telling me to delete his info b/c I had wasted his time. I replied with a "done". I don't know what it was, but I got a vibe and it wasn't a good, pleasurable one. Now I'm sitting here wondering if it was really my intuition or if my decision was clouded by Canada. Tomorrow I'm taking Chloe to the art festival up here and then to a friend's house to spend the night. I'm then headed to Canada's house for my own sleepover. He's taking Tuesday off to hang out with me, so I think by then I should have a little more of a gauge on where I'm letting this go.
In all honesty, I have no idea what I want right now. I don't want to be someone's gf, but I also don't want to sleep with every cute guy on this island either (well, ok maybe a little). I was telling Miranda the other day that I miss how easy it was with Owen and Gavin and that maybe I am meant to just be with attached men after all because I get to fuck them and then go on with my life. There is limited communication and no fear of feelings getting in the way. I'm actually feeling a little melancholy about Owen's disappearance in particular. I know it's wrong and it's bad karma, but it was so convenient. Texas comes back August 12th, but I think I'm going to let that one lie. He's been chatting with some girl he started seeing before he left here and I told him I'm not into attached men anymore. He said that's not fair b/c I told him I didn't want a relationship. I also told him that I don't know what I want either and it's not about fair.
Decisions...Decisions...Decisions.
-Jules