I'm On A Roll
I've been having a pity party for myself this week. I feel like I'm trapped in this house with someone that I'm not even sure I like anymore and in order for him to continue to support me financially while I go through school I feel like I have to just sit here and deal with it. It's not a fun place to be when you are a Type A, strong, independent person. I'm not sure if I've explained how I became financially dependent, so here it is. When we moved to Hawaii, I was working full time and making decent enough money for NC standards. I'm a social worker, so we're not talking big bucks by any stretch, but a liveable wage. We paid off almost all of our debt when we moved to Hawaii and agreed that I would work part time to be able to spend more time with Chloe and to be able to get her to and from school for the most part.
Fastforward to now...I make $17 an hour working 20 hours a week. I couldn't afford a pot to piss in as my Daddy says. So back to pity party, it's just been in uber mode this week. I've been sort of wallowing in it. I talked to my Mom today and she's apparently having her own as well. I guess this divorce thing really sucks. And then I talked to Adam, he made me realize that instead of bitching I should be slightly thankful for what Russell is doing for me. He felt me out before saying this and was very objective and diplomatic in his approach. He basically pointed out to me that 1. I cheated first. and 2. I'm asking for a WHOLE lot (financially especially) without offering anything in return. Damn, if he didn't have a point. I guess it's time to cowgirl up, put my big girl panties on, and get over myself.
-Jules
Fastforward to now...I make $17 an hour working 20 hours a week. I couldn't afford a pot to piss in as my Daddy says. So back to pity party, it's just been in uber mode this week. I've been sort of wallowing in it. I talked to my Mom today and she's apparently having her own as well. I guess this divorce thing really sucks. And then I talked to Adam, he made me realize that instead of bitching I should be slightly thankful for what Russell is doing for me. He felt me out before saying this and was very objective and diplomatic in his approach. He basically pointed out to me that 1. I cheated first. and 2. I'm asking for a WHOLE lot (financially especially) without offering anything in return. Damn, if he didn't have a point. I guess it's time to cowgirl up, put my big girl panties on, and get over myself.
-Jules
Hey...just trying to help, girlfriend. I think it always is good to at least TRY to see things from the other person's perspective. Especially when there's friction there. I know you well enough to know that you'll be fine in time and will figure out how to deal with the situation. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHang in there! I'm sure there will be lots of ups and downs as you figure out this new "lifestyle." But keep your eyes on the end result!
ReplyDeleteJust remember that this is just a temporary situation too. A few years from now this will just be a funny story you tell, about this one short time in your life where you were sharing a house with your ex-husband.
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