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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The New Girl

I’ve been following this blog for a few months now, ever since Miranda let me in on her gig. We work together and I’m glad to say that Miranda trusts me enough to share the details of her ‘secret life.’ Little did I know that we share some of the same secrets.

No, I’m not married and I’m not technically involved in any sort of infidelity. But that doesn’t mean I’m not mixed up in a whole bunch of crazy! I’m a 29-year old single professional girl, own my own home and car and have managed to take care of myself relatively well. Ok…ok…grandma still helps me out every now and again but who am I to stop her? (you can learn more about grandma if you click on the “Bling Bling Ya’ll” link under Miranda and Jules’ blogroll)

About two years ago I ended a 6-year relationship with the person I thought I was going to marry. If I were writing this blog back then, there would be much more infidelity to be discussed. Since the breakup I’ve entered the dating world and, most recently, the online dating world. I became intrigued after hearing Miranda talk about all of her escapades and decided to set myself up a profile. That was about 6 weeks ago. My man roster is not as extensive as Miranda’s (I’m not as nice as she is either) but it is no less interesting.

The point guard of my man-team is Truck Driver. I met him online about a week and a half ago. Funny thing is we went to the same elementary and middle school (which neither of us realized until we talked in person the first time) and he lives about 2 miles from my house. We have some of the same friends, including my ex. Lucky me. He drives an 18-wheeler up and down the east coast and gets paid pretty well. No kids. No ex-wife. No bald spots or beer belly. No criminal record. Has a car (a Lexus at that). Has his own apartment with real furniture and a matching bedroom set. Things have been going pretty well so far, we’ve seen each other every day he has been home. I’m not going to get my hopes up too much though because I tend to be attracted to playboys and I’m not convinced I haven’t found myself another one. Only time will tell. But, for now, Truck Driver and his big ol’ package are keeping me very satisfied.

Heading up the second string is Army Boy. He’s 34 and ‘shoots big guns’ for a living (on a side note, Miranda and I are currently planning a joint post on the topic of guns and why we hate them but love the men that carry them…). He has an 11-year old son and an ex-wife. He rides a Harley and lives about 2 hours away. I’m not really sure how into him I am but I like the attention and I guess I’m a sucker for a man in uniform. And the pics he gave me of him in a suit are HOT. The pics of him in cargo jean shorts, a wife beater and mandals – not so hot. The main reason I’m not sure about this guy are (1) he is only 5’7 and I’m getting the feeling he may have short-man syndrome (2) he served in Iraq for over a year and has only been back about 4 months – my grandpa was a Green Beret and he is still not right after being out of Vietnam for decades (3) he seems like he may be the possessive type (4) he got into a bar brawl last week – on a freaking Thursday night – which involved breaking bottles and bleeding heads and (5) I’m pretty sure he is a northern redneck judging mainly by the pictures I saw of his mom’s wedding – one showed a handmade cardboard sign with “Smoking only allowed outside” scribbled in Sharpee and hung on the wall of the barn where the wedding reception was held. Well, now that I write it all out like that I am seeing some major red flags. Note to self.

Since this post is already longer than I anticipated, I’m going to hold off on revealing the rest of my roster. I have to give you something to look forward to right? Thanks to Miranda and Jules for letting me be a guest blogger. I hope I live up to your expectations!

-Gwyn

4 comments:

  1. Yall get ready. Gwyn has some hilarious freaking stories to share! Now I just need to convince her to go to Hawaii with me.

    Miranda

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  2. Welcome Gwyn...love the post!! OMG Army Boy needs to be downgraded darling...he sounds HORRIBLE when you spell it all out like that! ;)
    -Jules

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  3. Yeah...I'm gonna echo Jules' sentiments here re: Army Boy. Probably best to kick him to the proverbial curb. Mandals? Really?

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  4. You're both right, he'll be off the team in the next few days. The mandals are a deal breaker. I think they are the only thing worse than Crocs. Glad you liked the post, I promise things will get more detailed in the next one. I know I have to keep your male readers (i.e. Adam and Diner Nighthawk) entertained.

    -Gwyn

    -Gwyn

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