Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Human Burrito

So just a quick Crossfit update: I texted him yesterday afternoon to say hello and that started a brief texting flurry until he had to train a client. During the texting he asked me my plans for the night…..mentioned use of a hot tub….offered a back massage….tried to bribe me with wine…all to no avail. At this point it was almost 9:30pm and I wasn’t driving an hour on a week night to go and see him – eight pack or not. Miranda was very impressed with my willpower as she was urging me to hit the road!

After he got done with his last client he called me and again asked if I wanted to come visit (not using those exact words but being a little more subtle). I told him I wanted to but it just wasn’t in the cards for tonight, I was tired and already in bed. He seemed a little dejected at this news and basically said “Well ok if you’re not going to drive here then I guess I will just see you next week when I get back from my trip.” Again, not his exact words but you get the picture. He told me to have a great rest of my week and he’d call me as soon as he got back. I relayed all of this to my gay bff who told me not to be insulted but to let Crossfit know that I was WILLING to drive to see him it just wasn’t the best night – the gay bff has also advised against back-to-back dates. So, I sent him a text asking if I could come and see him tonight (Tuesday) instead. He told me sure but it would still have to be relatively late because he had clients until 9pm. At first I was very hesitant but then I remembered that he had to wait on me Sunday and I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t into him or that I always expected him to be the one to come to me. Long story short I’m going to see him in about five hours. He also told me to bring a bathing suit for the hot tub. That’s when I went into full panic mode.

A bathing suit? It’s only April and I’m pale as a ghost. I’m also not exactly in fighting shape – I’m not saying I’m a beached whale or anything but this is all relative to his nearly perfect body. I called Miranda and had her investigate this body wrap place near our work to see if I could get a last minute appointment. I’m getting wrapped like a sausage at 5pm today. I don’t know if it’s going to work but I figure the least it will do is firm me up. I considered a spray tan instead but that takes too long to dry and God knows I don’t want the hot tub water turning orange. This is by far the most trouble I’ve ever gone to for a guy, note to self. After my wrap, I’m going to go home and grab a quick shower then head to the gay bff’s boyfriend’s house so he can do my makeup again and remind me why I can’t sleep with Crossfit on the second date. If only my willpower was more consistent.

Truck Driver comes home today and wants to see me. I think I’m going to tell him I’m not feeling well and I’m going to bed early. I was going to hang out with him right after work (before I leave for my date) but the body wrap takes precedence over the microphone at this point.



  1. HAHAHA! Dating is expensive for girls! We may not be picking up the checks but the prep work alone is breaking the bank.

    I'm so doing a body wrap!

  2. But, remember, The Barber technically paid for this wrap with the $100 he gave me on Saturday. Wow, I said that like it's a good thing. Shame on me!

    The body wrap place has a room with two chaise lounges in it, we can be mummies together!


  3. LOL, that makes me think, I never got Motorcycle Man to buy me my rainbows. Maybe I need to make up with him and play nice until I get them? Wow! Now that sounds bad!