It's Hard to be a Pimp

Two nights back to back of partying has about done me in. First there was the night of drinking and fun with Lawyer boy where I didn’t go to sleep until 5, and then last night was girls’ night out. I met up with some of my girls to drink some wine and go dancing. As the wine bar, we sat outside because the night was beautiful and drank some delicious bubbly wine called Bubbly Bitch! Perfect for girls night out! The weather was awesome and the wine was delicious. The fours of us actually went through 4 bottles of that wine.

Unintentionally we all ended up wearing our own version of the LBD – Little Black Dress. Between that and all the laughing/cutting up/wine drinking, we somehow became the life of the party out there. People of all ages were coming over to our table, chatting us up, and laughing at our antics. At one point these two older guys – probably late 50s – cruised up like they had game and copped a squat and started chatting us up. It was hilarious! We played along and flirted and said inappropriately hilarious things. These old dudes were skeezy too! I had to bust out the sunglasses and rock that look to keep from cracking up at them. The whole time we were playing with them we were texting each other comments about them. Ridiculous!

Next up we hit up the club. We were originally supposed to go downtown to a nicer club that has a rooftop bar. Also, that’s where I had the potential hook up planned with High School Crush. But, by the time we were ready to go dancing, we ended up at a more down and dirty club. It was so much fun to go dance with the girls, and with a lot of random boys, and just cut loose. I ended up being way drunk and crashed about 3:30 at one of the girl’s houses cause there was no way I could drive home. But before I crashed I managed to somehow end up fully clothed in a random guy’s hot tub. Yeah, it was a wild night!

I also managed to give my number and get the number of some random good looking guy from Africa. I though I had given him a fake number but he started texting me this morning so apparently I didn’t do the right thing last night. It’s not that he’s not hot, because he is. He kind of looks like Seal without all the scars LOL. Honestly, I’m a little overwhelmed with all these boys at the moment. I just don’t know that I could add another one into the rotation. I mean last night before I headed out, Lawyer Boy, High School Crush, and Kane all wanted me to text them when I got back in. Incidentally, I didn’t text any of them because I was DRUNK and passed out. So I had to make apologies to three different people today! HAHA! Keeping up with all these boys is taxing my hung-over ass. Just to give you a little peak into my day – today I’ve exchanged multiple texts with Kane, High School Crush, and College Crush while also talking to Lawyer Boy and Motorcycle Man. Sheesh! And that doesn’t even count chatting with Texas who left me a couple emails since he knew I was out with the girls last night. I’m on boy overload! But I’m not complaining, just saying it’s hard to be a pimp.

In Duckie news, today was our prearranged family outing to the zoo. While we were still negotiating our separation agreement, he’d made the suggestion that we take the kids to the zoo and I had agreed only to be nice. Then he actually held me to it. I made my mom go to act as a buffer. It’s a very weird relationship to negotiate now. I mean I could pretty much act normal towards him but he so can’t act normal to me. Kind of pissed me off today because he’s the one who wanted us to go and yet he can hardly say two words to me? Whatever. Plus it was doubly hard because I was hung-over and hurting big time. All I kept thinking was please don’t let me throw up in front of Duckie because he’s already tried to act like he’s questioning my ability to parent the kids. Fucker. I’ve been the lead freaking parent all these years. He better not ever go there.

Miranda