Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I Felt the Earth Move Under My Feet..

Brace yourselves people – in the last 36 hours Miranda has turned down sex TWICE and a date! Has the world started shifting it’s axis? Are we in a time vortex? Is it backwards week? Is the end of time near? Alas, I think grounding has finally set in and shifted ole’ Miranda’s mindset.

Monday night after softball Kansas was texting me and asked me to come over. I initially said I’d take a rain check because it was late, it was a Monday night, and I was tired. Then Tuesday night he was texting me again. Asked me to come over and give him some “TLC.” I hesitated and spent about the next 30 minutes in stunned silence because I realized that despite my raging hormones, I really didn’t want to just have sex with someone.

Trumpets blared. The skies parted. A spotlight shone on my wonderment. I was quiet for so long he texted me again and asked if I wasn’t interested and I told him it wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in having sex but it was that I’d rather have sex with someone I’m in a relationship with. That I wanted more than a casual fling and that continuing to fool around with him merely distracted me from what I really wanted.

Yep, I both turned down sex (with an extremely well hung guy) and I told the truth. Kansas was quiet for a while and then he started joking around and making general chit chat. I’m not sure that he fully believes me but there was definitely a different tenor to our texting after that.

So then this morning I got a phone call on the way to work. It was from Hot Chocolate, the kids’ after-school teacher. We had a blazing hot hook up about two years ago and I quickly dissuaded him from any further interaction because I wasn’t divorced – though really it was because we have absolutely nothing in common and even back then I couldn’t see anything coming out of it other than a lot of awkward exchanges when I picked up the kids.

So anyways, since then we still flirt and are amenable and he’s pretty well kept his distance (other than the bizarre paying for me to get my hair cut in December). This week I felt like his flirting was slightly more intense and he made a joke about us going out. I replied back with a lot of laughter. But then this morning he called me and I answered the phone with my first thought being that something was wrong with one of the kids when he said he’d been thinking he’d really like to take me out to dinner Friday night. I stammered a vague reply about my schedule being full because I was so caught off guard and he said for me to double check my schedule and let him know.

Now the old Miranda would have jumped at it. It’s a kid free weekend. I have nothing planned and sitting home is not my preferred activity. But this new version of Miranda has apparently taken the driver’s seat. The reality is that despite his hotness and sick body, we still have absolutely nothing in common and it’s never going to go anywhere. He’s not a JR by any means. And thinking ahead for a change (hello Pam) even if I thought there was something there how strange would that be for the kids for him to suddenly be in their personal lives. I mean they see him every single school day. So Hot Chocolate’s getting a big fat No.

This turning down sex and dates is quite the seismic shift for Miranda. If this new Miranda keeps it up I might be rocking your world in a whole different way in the days ahead.


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