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Saturday, April 14, 2012

Funny Stuff (Not Ha Ha)

What a week of weirdos! The 27 year old I've been chatting with is super cute, but I think he's another dud. He seems to want a friend and someone to text with, but after more than a week has not asked me out...next. Now, I've been talking to a guy online for a few months that I met on the dreaded POF (where I met the 27 year old too...clearly it's time to turn that profile off).  In the course of conversation, it turns out that he's a 41 year old guy living in a clean and sober house. If you are unfamiliar with that term, it's basically a boarding house for addicts, many of which have just left prison or treatment and need housing that is affordable. Ok, I could deal with that. He's an addict, but I draw those like moths to flames, so at least he was in recovery, right?

Wrong...he emails me kind of out of the blue after no conversation for a few weeks to tell me that he fucked up. He relapsed. Ok, again I can handle...addicts relapse. He was emailing me to tell me that he was in treatment. Even better, yeah? Not only did he relapse, but he was seeking almost immediate help...good for him. The social worker in me was pleased. He told me that he appreciated being able to talk to me b/c I got it  and I seemed like someone that would be good for him to talk to...again, ok. We discussed how he absolutely was not in a position to be in a relationship at this point b/c of his relapse and such, but that I was totally cool being friends, until he dropped this bomb. I got a follow up email yesterday morning telling me that he had really messed up and wait for it...was headed back to prison. Yes, back to prison, as in he'd been there already...failed to mention that in his previous "confessionals".

Shortly after I had that bomb thrown at me, I was texting with Owen for the billionth time this week only to find out his side job this week was yet again thwarting sex, as it has daily since we had epic sex on the beach Monday. Anyway, when I figured out he was on the other side of the island, I headed out to do some shopping in town.  As I am walking across the street to innocently go into my local drug store, I see Damien. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He saw me and turned around and did a double take. I'm not one to ignore things, so I simply said "Yeah, it's me...". He stopped and started chatting me up. For real? I remember standing there thinking 'is this seriously happening?'.  We talked for a few minutes and he asked me how I was doing and then in the next breath tells me that he still loves me. I told him not to b/c I'm apparently toxic for him. He laughed and told me that he is still seeing the fat grandma at night, but the previous gf that he was with when I met him is back around and he spends the days with her. Then he told me that he could probably fit me in there too. I declined and told him on that note, I had to run.

Sadly, it seems I was running to the same store he was going. So he followed me and talked my ear off the whole way across the parking lot...awesome. He tells me that now instead of taking pain pills, he has to shoot his drugs b/c it's a stronger, faster relief. Um, ok...great...another hard core addict that is drawn to me. Universe, WTF are you doing to me?? He also asked me in the middle of this drug store if his last "counterattack" on my personal ad had worked and driven men away. I told him no and that we were NOT having that discussion in the middle of a store and turned around and walked off. People, I am a crazy, addict magnet.
-Jules

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