Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Sex, Love, and Other Drugs

Gavin came back over about 30 minutes after he left. He was high, but I was so tipsy I didn't make it an issue. Honestly, I was glad he'd come back. We talked a little bit and basically both of us agreed that we aren't in a place right now to make any major changes. He needs to see what ends up happening with the gf and I'm still basically living at home with my husband and kid. It's not like I'm in an ideal situation to be in a relationship. We sort of agreed that the status quo is good for now. He said he obviously has feelings for me because if he didn't, he wouldn't have come back over after our fight.

After this fairly brief chat, we fucked like crazy. He flipped me over doggie style and pounded me. I mean pounded me. We're really good at sex. I think I was afraid of losing that if he started chasing some young waitress and it prompted me to say what I did. I'm not sorry I told him how I finally feel, but I must admit my timing was a little less than ideal.

He came over today after several phone calls and said "goodbye" to my Mama. She's continued to not say much at all about him, which is obviously a huge indicator of how she feels. We  (He and I) discussed how change is definitely in the mix right now, but neither of us is really looking for it right now. I reflected a lot today on him. I really don't know exactly how I feel. I love him, but is it in love? I don't know. I would be super sad if he wasn't in my life, but I also know all the reasons on an intellectual level on why we shouldn't be together. I also know that I'm unwilling to give up Owen for him, which really should be my sign. I almost feel like I'm being unfair to him by telling him that.

We'll all just have to wait and see how it goes. He leaves for CA tomorrow for a week and I think that timing is spot on!


  1. Sounds almost like you guys had "make up sex"! I love being pounded too! As for your situation, I hope it all works for you!

  2. We totally had make up sex and it was great. We don't fight much at all, like hardly ever...but if this is the reward I might start more. I'm kidding (mostly).
    Thanks, I'm sure things will work out like they are supposed to in the end and I just have to trust and go with the process.