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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Life Turned Upside Down

I just flipped the universe. It became piss or get off the pot time, for real. Gavin came over tonight lamenting about his life. I decided that I can't understand why he's not totally in love with me because I'm awesome and he's chosen to surround himself with a bunch of crazy.

Tonight, he starts talking to me about some waitress he met that would meet all of his dreams. She's young and would go around the country with him and his son tutoring him and is someone that would have another baby for him...yadda yadda yadda. I completely snapped when I overheard a call that he was going to meet her. I finally told him how I felt about him, meaning I think I'm in love with him and it broke his brain. There was a slight scene and it ended dramatically with him leaving and telling me he needed to think about things. Think about this mother fucker, come get your shit. If he's really just been using me this entire time, he can lick my ass and not in a fun way. I don't know what happened, but I lost it today. Jealousy I suppose but the tides have changed and it's his move. I hate this feeling...immensely. Clearly if he felt the same way, he would have raced back here and he didn't, so now I must move on.

I'm also sitting here wondering if I really have these feelings or if the thought of him being with someone else, wanting someone else was strong enough to push me into a psychotic, jealous rage. I mean for Christ's sake, my Mama hates him, Chloe hates him. What am I thinking?? I've seen this movie and I know how it ends.
-Jules

PS No sooner had I finished writing this post when he called and said he wanted to come back over. I don't feel good about it, but I have to give him a second to process since I did just totally flip the switch.

6 comments:

  1. Holy moley (sorry Gwyn and I are on a non cursing challenge). Wow. I don't know what to say Jules. I can't wait to hear how things ended though.

    Miranda

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  2. Jules you broke the golden rule - NEVER EVER under any circumstances do you tell a man you love him or may love him or may be in love with him before he has said it to you!!!! It throws everything off balance ahhhhhh!!!

    -Gwyn

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  3. Wait!...what? am I still drunk? I am speechless, but hell...if you are in love with Gavin, I am happy for you and I hope it works. btw since when does Chloe hate him? i thought they got along?
    Josie
    ps @Gwyn..you show by now that if there rules, Jules is going to break them! lol

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  4. Haven't you always told him that you're not interested in him for anything serious? That's probably why he reacted the way he did, because he thought you were unavailable for a relationship. Never mind your mama, this is about what you want.

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  5. I did throw off the balance of the universe, but I don't know...it is what it is. Intellectually, I still know it's a stupid idea but emotionally I'm sort of stuck there right now.
    @Gwyn, He's told me he loves me before, so technically I didn't say it first but finally expressed my actual feelings. It shocked the shit out of him. I'm not sure how it will play out, but I know he's going to CA tomorrow for a week and that's feeling like a good thing right now.
    -Jules

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