I'm in talks with CBS to pick this up as a new soap opera. At least if my life is going to fucking suck, maybe I can make a dollar off my own misery. My world completely imploded today...or maybe exploded b/c the shit went all around. I'm not even sure where to start. It's such a tangled web that's been woven.
I got a text from Owen today that his herpes test came back positive. We freaked and then I called my Dr. They said since I have no sores to culture, they can't reliably test me. They said that blood tests are almost never valid b/c they test for both strains of herpes and almost everyone has been exposed to the oral one. As Owen and I texted throughout the day, I found out that he's seen the ex-gf and that she miraculously tested positive today too. He's flipping out that he's going to tell his wife and lose the kids and the house and everything. I questioned him on WTF was wrong with him, but felt really hypocritical b/c it could have easily gone the other way. It may have to be honest. I still don't know that they originated it. She told him that she had an ex that was herpes positive, but that she never contracted it and she'd always tested negative. I trust everyone involved in this about as far as I can throw them. He swears it was once. He was trying to find a girl for us to fuck (yeah fucking right...asshole), and that there was no spark and he knows he lost an amazing lover today in me (damn skippy, mf). He even had the audacity to tell me that I was the most exciting part of his life for the past 3 years. Um, yeah I can tell...that's why he fucked the ex. I told him my anger is the least of his issues b/c the world is about to get a whole lot darker. I actually almost felt sorry for him and if I were confident that Gavin did this, I would feel immense guilt. In this case, I'm not so sure.
So before I knew that Owen was fucking around on me too, I called Gavin and told him the deal. He swore it wasn't him, no symptoms, etc. Oddly, he came over Saturday night (the night I refused him and just let him pleasure me) with a sore on his dick...hello asswipe, that's a symptom. He told me 2 different things. The first time it was where sand rubbed him. The second time (today) it was from jerking off too much with no lube since I wasn't giving it up. I think not...it looked just like what Owen showed me. FUCK! Any way, I called him and left a voice mail that he should talk to the gf because the timing was pretty fucking spot on with her visit back to the island and the outbreak, just saying. It seems that she picks up his voice mails for some really odd, unknown, co-dependent reason and she flipped. He called me and left me a vm that I had called her and she wanted her stuff shipped to CA. That was a total lie b/c I had not contacted her at that point.
I called him back after class and told him to fuck himself. He'd left several ridiculous messages about how I needed to fix this and it was all my fault. I'm going with a "no" on that one. I own my responsibility in this. Clearly if both men that I've fucked without condoms have sores, I'm obviously a carrier. I don't need a test for that one. Which one started it? Who knows and at this point, who cares? What's done is done...but wait, it gets better.
I contacted the gf and told her b/c Gavin would not. I emailed her through his FB acct. and told her the whole deal and that both of the men have/had sores. I think that she and Gavin have had it for a while if Gavin only had one sore b/c initial outbreaks are reportedly really bad, like what Owen had. Subsequent outbreaks seem to be small, like what Gavin had. The email elicited a lot of drama. She called, left a vm, and threatened me. Gavin called and threatened me...good times. It's been a super classy kind of day.
There were many, many more details of this sordid tale, but that's the readers digest version. I did have to tell Russell on his 41st birthday that I probably have herpes and fill him on some of the details because Gavin has threatened to tell Russell all sorts of things so that "I would lose Chloe the way he lost his gf". I really honestly hate him. I really honestly hate both of them and truthfully, I'm not loving Jules today either.
Jules is going to be quiet now. I'll fill you all in on the rest of this saga b/c I'm sure it's far from over. I wish they would just all crawl into a hole and disappear, but I'm not that lucky. Josie got mad at me today for saying this, but it's karma. Karma paid me back for all my years of fucking married men. This is the ultimate payback, a lifelong lesson. Those involved with it all got a karmic smack down too. Thank god it wasn't HIV, my test for that was negative (along with all of the others). I'm never going to see either of those men again though...sexually anyway...it's a small island, I'm bound to "see" them, but never again shall our paths cross in a sexual manner. That's what I meant about being quiet...there will be no Jules sex stories for quite some time while I sort this mess out. Thankfully, I have a shit load of toys.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
I'm afraid of Gavin. He had severe anger issues and he has a key to my house. I think that if he were going to do something, as impulsive as he is, it would have happened immediately though. I have alerted Damien to the situation. Actually, Gavin did that tonight to try to intervene with me contacting the gf b/c I told Gavin I was going to do it before I did. I think Damien will help de-escalate things with Gavin though on that front. Gavin knows Damien loves me and he's respectful enough of Damien that I don't think he would hurt me b/c he knows there would be consequences. The gf keeps threatening me, but she lives in CA so I'm not overly concerned about her.
I really, really hate that this shit is my life. This is rock bottom for me though. It's not THE rock bottom, I know, but it's mine. I've hit an all time low and I'm never going lower than this. It's upward bound only. I am changing a lot of my ways as a result of this karmic life lesson b/c I'm afraid of what else karma will bring if I don't learn the lesson now. She really is a bitch, but I really did my part in it to earn it.