Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Lesbian Trend

Hello faithful readers, it's me OprahGwyn. I'm back with another change-your-life post. And by 'change-your-life post' I mean one where I ask you all why in the world so many people are totally changing their lives by going gay!!!

It all started for me about a year ago when one of my best friends, whom I've known since we were 14 years old, told me that she was a lesbian. Now, this wouldn't be so shocking if it wasn't coming from a girl who has slept with no less than 300 men and is one of the most penis loving women I know. When she told me, it was about 10 months after she separated from her husband (they were married for a year). I personally think she is a nymphomaniac and also bi-polar but clearly my diagnosis was off, she's not a crazy slut she's just a lesbian (I joke).

At the time of this revelation, she was working in an office with a lesbian of the butch variety. She told me that she felt a very strong attraction to the girl, who happened to be in a long term relationship at the time. This particular friend of mine is in the habit of breaking up relationships and doing other pretty crazy things so I'm never really shocked when she comes to me with her latest ordeal. But this one threw me for a loop. She is now engaged to the girl she met at her office and they have been living together for about 6 months. To this day I still don't think that she's a lesbian. I think she is a person who craves physical affection and even more than that, emotional closeness. It doesn't matter to her if that comes from a man or a woman, she will gravitate to whomever is giving her the most of what she craves (she always chose very clingy or controlling men that would want to be around her 24/7). But, regardless of what I think, she has chosen to embrace the lesbian lifestyle and I am completely supportive - although I will admit that I am about sick and tired of seeing her in nothing but sweatpants and equal rights t-shirts and having to drag her to go to places that aren't lesbian dive bars.....just being honest :)

Case #2 involves another friend of mine who is having an affair with a woman that has been going on for a couple of months. This particular friend is also married - to a man. She experimented some with girls in college but also always had boyfriends and never identified herself as a lesbian. She doesn't call herself a lesbian now either but is in a full fledged same sex relationship.

My Brazilian bff used to have threesomes with other girls and, although I'm not certain because I wouldn't let her give me the details, I am pretty sure she performed oral sex on at least one girl and definitely made out with quite a few. Again, she is straight and has only been in relationships with men.

Our very own Jules has ventured into the land of lesbianism recently in some of her swinging parties with Gavin. Two of my girlfriends used to make out with each other when they were on ecstasy. Even Miranda has kissed a girl (the friend I described at the beginning of this post!!). Miranda's new friend "D" told her she let a girl go down on her once. When I think about it, almost every girl I know has at least kissed another girl and many of them have gone much further. I'm not sure about my male friends but if my female friends are any indication....good lord.

What is going on? Am I just a big stick in the mud for not wanting to be sexually active with girls? Is it normal for everyone to be a little bi-sexual and those of us who aren't are the outliers? Do we need to redefine the way we define sexual orientation - are there more options than just being 'gay' or 'straight' or 'bisexual'? Is this a recent phenomenon or are more people just disclosing their same sex activities than did in previous generations? Are girls doing this for attention? Are girls doing this because they've given up on the male species? I have so many questions!!!!

Even though this may bring some criticism from our readers or cause people to think I am a completely sheltered Southern lunatic - in my opinion either you are gay or you're not. To me, bisexual means gay. I realize this may not be a popular opinion but I'm just stating how I feel. I also have a theory (and I've had this theory for many years) that 50% of our population today is gay - I shared it with Miranda and she thought I was crazy but now she's starting to wonder if I'm right! And let it be known that I have zero issues with someone being gay - it doesn't change my opinion of that person nor do I look at it as some sort of moral weakness. I think it is just a difference that people have.

I have NEVER had the urge to kiss a girl, let a girl go down on me, touch a girl in any sexual way, etc. NEVER. This is the main reason I have the opinion I do - either you're straight with no same sex tendencies or you're gay with some to lots of same sex tendencies. The other reason I think the way I do is because it's easier for me if I can categorize people in black and white categories - I readily admit this fact. Life gets too confusing for me if I have to group people into some sort of sliding scale from 0%-100% gay!!

I'd love to hear everyone's opinions on this topic....



  1. I think Im case#2...lol...and I can only speak about my own situation...I have never been conventional, never seen the world in black/white...I'm in a honest to goodness fwb relationship...I. honestly like the girl(which is weird, cause I typically don't like new people)...we have a lot in common, and occasionally we get a little frisky....;-)
    I have struggled with the idea of labeling my relationship because, I don't want to seem disrespectful to my gay friends who have had to fight to be accepted...
    This is getting way to long, to sum up....I'm happy, my hubby is happy, my girlfriend and her hubby are happy...nuf said.

  2. I think there's a continuum of gay to straight. We all fall at different places. That being said, I also think that it's just more acceptable to be bi or gay and individually we're more accepting so more people are willing to experiment. It is interesting that if I add it up, I know way more girls who have at least experimented than ones who have not.


  3. I think I'm confused as to what your personal definition of "Gay" is. To me gay in the strictest sense of the word means that you have exclusively (or at least, nearly exclusively) same sex tendencies. So your theory, if I'm understanding it correctly, wouldn't be any different than a gay man saying that anyone who has any opposite-sex tendencies is straight.

    I remember when I was first coming to grips with my bisexual tendencies, my knee-jerk reaction was that I must be gay. And I spent a year identifying to friends and choice family members as gay, and dating men exclusively. And it was a waste of a year, because as hard as I tried I just couldn't be happy dating men exclusively (granted I'm never happy, but that's besides the point :-P). I always yearned for a woman. It's true, I think having sex with men is a lot of fun; I think having sex on public waterfronts under starlight is fun too, but neither situation are needs. I need a woman to feel sexually and emotionally fulfilled.

    I even have a hard time identifying as bisexual, although that would probably be the most widely accepted label, because even it feels dishonest. Not to downplay any of the ex-lovers I've had in my life, but all my same-sex experiences felt more like matters of kink than orientation. "Queer" really feels like the most apt descriptor for myself, although I've always been strangely amused by the label "Hetero-flexible".

    Purely based on what I've read in this post, Jules and the Brazilian sound like their motivations for participating in a wildly kinky event that involved another woman probably weren't much different than enjoying any other wildly kinky event. It's more like exploring different sex-toys than it is about exploring orientations. If you had to categorize them as gay or straight, your best bet is probably to categorize them as straight.

    The jury's still out on the other two cases because these are uncharted waters for them. They could have been in deep denial, and are just now exploring the possibility that they're gay. Or maybe by this time next year they'll find the whole thing was an unfulfilling mistake, and it's just a funny story from once-upon-a-time. Or maybe they'll find that gender has absolutely nothing to do with what makes them happy with a partner.

    In my experience, both in the straight and the LGBT community, when it comes to choosing a partner that can make you happy for the rest of your life most people are either heterosexual or homosexual. You sound pretty confident you're straight. If you're being true to yourself, that doesn't make you any more of a 'stick in the mud' than I am because I don't like fake breasts - if you're sure it doesn't turn you on, why would you even go there?

    There are true bisexuals out there as well, people who can happily spend the rest of their lives satisfied by a member of either gender. But even here in California I could probably count on my fingers how many I've known.

    But maybe half the people I've ever known do have some degree of flexibility in a purely sexual sex. I know a lot more females than I do males with this flexibility, but I think it's a little more trendy and acceptable to be a sexually flexible girl than to be a sexually flexible guy. I'll bet Jules' experiences in swing clubs would back me up on that, too. And I've seen many many occasions of people confusing open-minded kinkiness with bisexuality, only to take it back later in life.

    If I had to try and separate everyone I knew into strictly gay or straight, I'd probably just pick whichever orientation they themselves are identifying with (with the exception of closet cases). And I wouldn't even sweat anything else until they were sitting in my lap.

  4. My foray into the land of lesbian was definitely just acting on the kinky events. I'm totally straight and while it was fun having wild, crazy sex with a group of hot people, Jules will never, ever give up the cock. ;)I agree with Ethan that our society has allowed for much more fluid, flexible definitions of our sexuality and thus it is far easier than it was even just a few years ago to bed hop with whomever you wish.

  5. Women are simple folk, they give into pressures of society.

    I often tell my male friends just to treat their women like children. It works, yes women can be smart and hard working. They can be responsible and obviously independent. That said emotionally they are just children. If you want to make a women mad, tell her something she won't agree with, tell her "no". If a someone comes into the room and says that I am an idiot, I shrug. If you walk into a room and call a women an idiot, even though she knows you don't know her, she will get angry.

    If you have 2 children say 6 and 8. and you give one a toy, the other expects one. Boys can be reasoned with but little girls will freak out.

    Since women in industrialized nations don't really have to try as hard as men, they never really develop mentally or emotionally. Women will always get into colleges with less achievements, they never have to try as hard in sports, they will never have to try hard to find romance, they won't have to try hard to get a job.

    In developing countries women often have to fend for themselves. They have to work hard and make decisions. These women don't give into social trends, because they are actually adults.

    Tomorrow if a bunch of actresses came out and said lesbians are creepy, and that dicks are great and men are great, trust me every lesbian out there would find a cock and start sucking.

    Obviously there are exceptions, there are women that actually worked hard and matured, some did not just get by on looks alone.

    if you think I am clueless that is fine, I could care less, but ask your self this. Do women throw tantrums, do they get upset when they don't get the way they want. When you go into a restaurant, do guys ask for "dressing on the side". Seriously open your mind and look at the world. Most women are just grown up kids. Give them a glossy magazine that says green lipstick is in and they will have green lips in a blink of an eye.

    This is why most men don't really care if they date and marry women half their age, because they are all kids, just give them pretty things and they are happy. Tell them they are smart and they are happy. Pat them on the back because they wiped their own ass and they are happy.

    Right now the Lesbian man hating thing is in, every man on TV and in movies has to be flawed, the women is always the strong one, the lesbian relationship is always the best.

    Women do what society tells them. Its that simple.

  6. Mantion, I feel like we should go on a date because I would thoroughly enjoy breaking all of your beliefs while simultaneously breaking your heart.

  7. Ethan - you win longest comment of the season award.

    Manation - You win the douchebag award of the year.

    Elle - You just plain win!


  8. Manation, I have to assume that you have only read this one post, more than likely because you thought it would be se sort of erotic porn. I have a loving husband and right now a great girlfriend. I can absolutely assure you that I am not influenced by any " trend" other the trend of being happy and touting conventions.
    I could very easily insult you, but I just don't care enough.
    @ Elle, I agree... You just win! Lol