Thursday, November 24, 2011

Texting Trauma

I wish I'd never, ever turned my parents onto texting. They have traumatized me with it this week. Some things in life, a daughter should not have to read. It's just not right.

The first in this line of texts I wish I could erase from my brain included my mother and her new bf. Now, I'll say that I'm super happy for my mother b/c she has finally met a man that makes her giddy, like school girl giddy. My mother has not been happy in a very, very long time and she deserves this. I met him with my brother, his wife, my new niece, my daughter, his daughter, and her daughter over lunch this week. It was a bit awkward because of the forced nature of the event, but I liked him. I could tell that he was a really nice man.

That afternoon from my brother's house, my mother tried to text him. She failed at this task and brought me her phone. She said "I was trying to send this to the bf and I can't. Will you forward him this message?" I go into her phone to forward it, which could easily be done without reading it and I realize that somehow she typed the entire freaking message into the damn send category. So in an effort to save myself some time, I go into her phone and just pull up his name and retype the message that read "I know you hate getting texts, but I can send this quietly. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you". Um, she's been dating the guy for 3 weeks. I'm ALL for her being happy, but "love"...really???

In my dad's world, it's much more crude. I seriously wish I could erase this one, but since I can't...I'm sharing it. He got a text from his phone company today and when he asked me to call them back I had to go into his messages to retrieve it. When I did, I somehow pulled up a text from one of his two whores. The first one is a FWB that used to live next door. She has since sold her house, but stores many things in his, to include her motorcycle in his garage. Incidentally, she is the one that showed up in the hospital 2 years ago when he overdosed and sat right beside him in a skin tight red dress with a shit ton of makeup on in the middle of day whispering in his ear right in front of my mother and I. The second of his whores is a woman who is about my age and apparently all strung out on drugs. She is the one who he "died" in front of the first time and she's the one who called the ambulance. She's also the one that didn't show back up at the hospital after I arrived back in town. If you've ever met Jules, you know that when she gives you the look, it's best to keep out of her path. It's also widely hypothesized that she has an illegitimate child with my dad. I refuse to ask. I'm a firm believer in not asking questions that you don't want the answers to.

Back to tonight, I go into his phone looking for that text and stumble across an exchange with the 2nd whore mentioned here that reads something to the effect of my dad telling her he needs someone to fuck and asking if that's going to be her or not. I'm pretty certain that this was in reference to her coming over tonight while I was at dinner with Miranda and Josie and a few other friends. He was overly curious about my arrival home time and now it makes sense. Um, ewwwwwwwww!  My almost 60 year old dad is having this convo via text. Are you fucking kidding me? It's one thing for me at my age to be acting like a stupid teenager, but it's another thing for my parents! Jesus!

In other news, this has been a fairly interesting trip b/c my dad and I have addressed a lot of his substance issues. Sadly, what I thought were good conversations seem to have had little impact as he was drunk and stupid yet again tonight. He had maintained 2 nights of sobriety, but clearly that was all he could handle. He keeps  bringing up my mother's bf, which because they have only been dating for 3 weeks, she decided to not tell him about until after we left. Much to her surprise, one of his friends got wind of it though and let the cat out of the bag. I've had to have 2 conversations with my dad now about what is and what is not appropriate to talk about in front of Chloe. That really pisses me off.

Blissfully, still no word from Gavin. I am really hoping that storm has passed. I have heard a lot from Owen. He's apparently in the remorseful and working to get me back phase. He texted me a lot this week trying to explain his behavior. He said that he wasn't looking to get back with her or anything when they had sex. He swears it was one time, it was bad and awkward, and really an overall horrible mistake. He claims he's ashamed. He told me that I'm the best lover he's ever had and that it's totally depressing for him to think he'll never experience that again.

Guys, I honestly think there is some sincerity in this, but I brought up karma and said what I've said on here. I think karma warned us and it seems like we should listen. He followed that up with he agrees and is totally on board with whatever I decide about seeing him again or not (great, thanks), but that he wants me to know he wasn't out looking around and that he's really sorry. I'm sure he is sorry...he got caught. We're all sorry then.I can't help but feel like he should get a free pass on this though b/c of my slutty behavior this whole time.  I have tons of willpower when I'm 5000 miles away, but I can tell you now I'm leaning toward forgiving his magic dick for a little bit and maybe the universe just wanted me to stop seeing Gavin. It's not a healthy relationship. It will not allow me to put myself out there to meet anyone else, but it's seriously the best sex ever and I don't know that I can do a Miranda and go several months without it. I also don't have the time and energy right now to look for a lot of new possibilities. I'm talking to a few potentials, but we'll see when I get home.


  1. I have no doubt some of Owen's remorse is genuine. I believe Coach is genuinely sorry for the way things went down and that he'd change things if he could do it all over again.

    Regardless, the relationship you have with Owen holds you back. You can't put forth any genuine effort into ever finding anyone else as long as you are sleeping with him. You deserve to find someone (even if it's just about sex) who is not attached to anyone else. You shouldn't have to sneak around, arrange quickies in the van and hope no one sees, or take getting 15-20 minutes of his time instead of as much of it as you want.

    For the record I don't think Owen's a bad guy per se but as long as he's been cheating on his wife and not making any effort to leave the relationship, well he knocks him way down in my book.


  2. I recall being an impressionable youth around... oh 14 or 15... and realizing that both my parents... my DIVORCED parents... were in the shower together. The scars, oh the scars...