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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Dust Is Settling

I hesitate to say this, because every time that I do he surfaces again with some inane thing, but I haven’t heard a peep from Gavin in several days. Last contact was him threatening me via email and I sent him an email back telling him that if he did not immediately stop that I would file for a restraining order and file harassment charges. I told him that I would not communicate with him in this form and that no further words were needed on my part. As I have mentioned, he has a conditional release from probation, so I think he knew I’d follow through with it and has decided to just let things go…at least that’s my hope.
In a weird “Bros over Hos”  kind of way, Damien has kind of backed off too. He was super helpful in working through this with Gavin, but they are friends and Damien knows that he doesn’t have a chance in hell of being with me.  We were supposed to work out together Saturday morning, but he went off the grid and when I questioned him on it, he suggested that perhaps he should lie low until the dust settles completely on this thing so that it doesn’t look like he’s taking sides. Gavin is also a client of his marijuana business, so I’m sure he didn’t want to lose a client either. He did tell me that if anything comes up that is of  a safety/security issue to notify him immediately.
Damien is weird…period. Russell has asked me to please not get involved with him again and I explained that I was really only doing it for protection at this point. He acknowledged that, but still cautioned me. I’m fairly inclined to listen to Russell right now b/c he’s been so freaking awesome about all of this and Damien’s current stance allows me to do that while not pushing him away at a crucial time. It’s seemingly the best of both worlds.
I’m not letting my guard down though. I’ll probably stay on guard for a few weeks until I’m sure that this has dissipated. I’m still insanely happy to be free from Gavin and the toxicity of it all. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to miss the sex with Owen, but I’m not willing to go back. My plan is to either find new or to actually address my sexual addiction and commitment issues in therapy next month, quite the novel concept. I’m leaving for NC on Thursday, so short of any new developments and maybe a few TMIs, Jules is out for a few weeks.
-Jules

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