Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Welcome to Miranda's Mayhem

Well Project Squash Feelings for FJB is in full effect. I’ve managed to score 7 dates between 6 guys in 8 days. I can't help but feel a little bit impressed with myself. Maybe this is the universe's way of apologizing to me for the FJB debacle?

Yesterday I caved and had lunch with Motorcycle Man. He wanted to apologize in person for his shitty behavior and hey, it was a free lunch, so off I went. We met at the same place we had our first date at – how poetic. He was doing his damndest to be cute and charming but I was a pretty cold Gwyn-esque bitch to him the entire time, which of course only made him like me more. Why do guys like it when you’re mean to them?

Anyways after I raked him over hot coals for an hour and told him we could only be friends, he walked me to my car and still freaking tried to kiss me. Twice! I mean really! Gwyn says he’s in love with me and convinced that I’m in love with him and just fighting my true feelings. LMFAO! Probably spot on but I’m not ever going to date him again. Twice burned is more than enough.

So then last night I picked up the kids and hung around talking to Hot Chocolate for like 40 minutes. His body is SICK! I got a squeeze on his massive bicep and literally broke into a sweat. He was being extremely flirty and playful and kept touching me or finding a reason to bump into me as we talked. Hot Chocolate said he told his brother he was lucky that “this gorgeous white girl” agreed to go out with him. Dude is laying it on thick – and its working! We are going out Saturday night but I don’t know what we’re doing yet. According to Hot Chocolate, all I have to do is get dressed and be prepared to relax and let my hair down. I have a feeling I’m going to be battling a serious seduction.

Today I was meeting one of the new Pof boys for lunch but looks like we’re rescheduling for Friday night. Which is fine with me because I’m a little overwhelmed schedule wise and all these boy dates are breaking my daily lunch with Gwyn tradition? After work, Gwyn, the girls, and me are going out for half-price wine Wednesdays and then I’m meeting the other new Pof guy for dessert afterwards. Both of these new guys are mid-thirties, divorced, have a couple kids they share 50-50 with their exs, and seem relatively drama free. One is a builder and pretty funny, the other is some sort of financial guy and I’m afraid he’s a little nerdy based on the plentiful use of smileys in his emails. We shall see.

Friday I’m having lunch with a guy I met a while back on Pof and we’ve just been Facebook friends every since. Why? Because when we first started Facebooking, we realized he works with my mom! Like in the cubical right across from her! I think that was sufficient to scare us both off a little but I guess he decided it’s safe to proceed now. I think I talked about this guy a while back but he’s also came to my dad’s funeral and most likely we met there which is freaky! We have been messing with my mom though. He’ll email me and tell me something he overheard from her cubicle and then I’ll bring it up to my mom. Like one day, she was having a coughing fit and I texted her about 5 minutes after it and said I’d had a feeling as if she was choking or something. She FREAKED out and he and I were dying laughing. It’s so wrong, and yet so funny. He seems nice but, and there’s always a but, he’s very into church. So the shelf life here is probably very limited but I’m still game thanks to the Project.

Sunday evening I’m doing dinner and a movie with Twin. He is the only pity date I’m awarding this week. He’s so nice but soooooo damaged still from his ex. I’m happy to entertain him and soothe his wounds for a bit but thank heavens we live so far apart that a “relationship” is not a possibility. I’m a sucker for a fixer-upper and he’s definitely one. Though I still feel squeamish because of Gwyn and Jules saying we look alike!

I’m still trying to coordinate time with Flyboy, so keep your fingers crossed there! Sheesh I’m tired just looking at all this but it does seem like I wont’ have much time to moon about FJB. Though I’ll admit I feel a little down about it every once in a while but I just need to squash it.

I told him we could be friends, though have I heard from him since Sunday –hells no. However, I really don’t believe that men and women can ever be just friends unless they are related. I know it’s unrealistic for me to be his “friend” under pretty much any circumstances, but hell, you know I’m an emotional cutter. Oh well. At least his idiocy is helping lots of boys get dates this week!


PS – Short Version of the Dating Blitz Schedule
  • Tuesday Lunch – Motorcycle Man
  • Tuesday PM – Hang out with Hot Chocolate While Picking up the Kids
  • Wednesday Dinner – Out with the girls
  • Wednesday Late Night – Dessert with Pof guy who may or may not be nerdy
  • Thursday Lunch – With Mom & Sister
  • Thursday Diner – Work Concert with potentially nerdy Pof Guy
  • Thursday Late Night - Hopeful hook up with Flyboy
  • Friday Lunch – Pof buy who knows my mom
  • Friday Dinner –Pof Guy who’s a builder
  • Saturday Dinner – Hot Chocolate
  • Sunday Dinner – Twin
If anyone wants on the schedule all I have open are Lunches on Sat, Sun, Mon, and Tues. HAHAHA!


  1. Damn. Why settle on FJB when you have SO many great options anyways? :-)

  2. Good freaking question Diner. If you want to have a little chat with my messed up emotions and set them straight I'd sure appreciate it!