Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm a P.I.M.P

About a week ago I was on Craigslist looking at jobs and came across an ad looking for a girl willing to engage in some foot fetish activities and/or take foot pictures. I immediately thought of Miranda since she is always getting compliments on her feet and has dated several guys who seem to fall somewhere on the foot fetish spectrum. After emailing back and forth with the guy for a week or so, she agreed that she would let him take some pictures of her feet for a fee.

Throughout the negotiation process I helped Miranda set the ground rules for this meeting – I mean the guy looks and seems innocent enough but you can never be too careful. We told the guy (a) the meeting must take place in a public place like a park or at least at a hotel where there are other people around (b) Miranda must be allowed to bring someone with her and (c) only pictures will be taken, no foot fetish activities. He agreed to all the rules and even offered up his DL number, full name and contact information, etc. He also sent a picture of himself which provided Miranda and I with plenty of laughs. He’s a scrawny looking country boy with dark brown, long hair that is styled so that the ends of his hair are flipped out (and I mean it looks like he purposely styled it this way) to give him a sort of white trash, Charlie’s Angels look. Words don’t really do this hair justice.

Well, the meeting was tentatively scheduled for yesterday (Sunday) but as of yet Miranda hasn’t heard back from the little toe sucker. I’m still hoping that he reappears because this has got to be one of the things on my bucket list – #342: accompany friend on foot fetish photo shoot with strange man. I promised Miranda that I would go with her for protection but also that I would have to have my back turned for most of it or else there’s no way I could keep a straight face. I don’t want to ruin a perfectly good toe shot with my giggling after all.

I’ve really gotten a kick out of this whole experience – is this what it feels like to be a pimp? Negotiating ground rules, check. Setting prices, check. Setting up anonymous Paypal accounts to receive dirty money, check. Providing security for my ‘girl’ while she is performing her duties, check. Planning on taking the money from her so that I can spend it on my thirtieth birthday shots next weekend, check. Maybe living like Bishop Don Juan isn’t so bad after all…..
I’ve also been doing some research on foot fetishes and the men who have them and found some pretty classic Craigslist postings, here they are for your enjoyment. I must say, the last one is definitely my favorite. Who knew it was this easy to make a buck?
  1. I'm looking for some everyday ordinary women to model their large feet for an online magazine. All shots will be very tasteful and shot in a professional setting.
  2. We are looking for very attractive girls with pretty feet to get paid $300 - $400 per night to have their feet massaged and kissed at our weekly foot fetish events including one coming up this Thursday (September 23rd) at 7pm!
  3. If you have clean and sexy toes/feet and like foot massages or having them worshiped hit me up I like feet.
In other news, things aren’t going well with The Barber. Let’s just say he’s not exactly communicating with me right now to the level I expect and I’m about to my breaking point. I ended up sleeping with Romeo (his fake cousin) this weekend if that tells you anything about my state of mind. The sex was amazing by the way and extremely satisfying. Romeo has a tongue ring, just thought I’d throw that out there. The Ex also came over last night to talk and we had a few laughs and enjoyed each other’s company. I’m not sure where things are headed at this point but I’m trying to stop worrying about it so much and just let the universe point me in the right direction. I also read Miranda’s book, He’s Just Not That Into You and it’s definitely been helpful to give me the boost I need to make some changes in my dating life. This weekend I'm celebrating the big 30 and I can say with almost certainty that it’s going to provide lots of good blog post material. The hair is getting curled, the heels are going on and the sex kitten is coming out!



1 comment:

  1. Welcome to your 30s! I dreaded it, but it has kicked my 20s ass in the awesome category. I love, love, love this age.