Mourning the loss of a relationship is normal I suppose…it’s just not something I tend to spend a lot of time on…ever. I did it some with the split from Russell, but since he’s part of my everyday life still…it’s different. I’m sure I will experience it more so when we finally move apart. Today, I’ve caught myself mourning the Clark time. Ok, let me rephrase…the good Clark time before he became mentally and verbally abusive. I honestly thought that relationship was going to go somewhere and that we were both finally at a place to make it happen. I thought that the universe reconnected us to make that happen. Clearly, I was wrong.
No worries my dear readers, while I’m sad…I’m NOT stupid. I’m NOT going to contact him or anything. I realize now that he has major issues that he has to deal with himself and people do not change until they are ready to do so for themselves. Life is short so I don’t give people 3rd chances. I know it’s really and truly over this time. I just kind of wish things had gone differently, that’s all.
So when Gavin called me tonight to go hang out with him under the stars and the moon and fuck, I was on it. What helps you get over one man? ANOTHER one...Gavin's good for some fun, so I had some tonight and I feel better.-Jules