Ok, I can't blame the men anymore...I'm stupid and weak. I actually started to just skip this post because I'm not proud of my actions today. Clark has been wearing at me for days now. I mean seriously like challenging me and bringing me down. It's not been a good week for my psyche at all and I told him today he was being mentally and verbally abusive. This seemed to provide new perspective to him. Finally this morning when I told him we needed to rip the fucking band-aid off and be done, he flipped back. After a very looooong day of texting (yet again) where he apologized profusely and I'm stupid enough to believe him, I went by and fucked the shit (NO pun intended this time) out of that boy on the way home from work. (Ok, maybe it was the other way around as I was the one on the floor in downward facing dog getting it in every hole.)
Clearly I'm fucked in the head by this man. I'm not sure where things are going, but he professed his love for me multiple times in the midst of this and yet again, I was stupid enough to believe him.
Gavin and I had an interesting conversation today about his pending move. It seems he's reconsidering moving in with the gf...I expressed my contempt for this stupid plan by not saying anything. He ended his conversation with me by telling me how much he's dying to see me. I explained that living with the gf might hinder this, but he assured me it would not...ok, so men are still stupid too.
PS Feel free to judge me...in your head. I will allow a 'I told you so' moment later when things turn South again with Clark, as they are clearly destined to do.