Mercury's In Retrograde

So the last couple of days have been ridiculous.  If we’ve said it before, we’ve said it a thousand times when it rains, it pours boy wise.  After all my recent “laying low” I’ve jumped right back into the frying pan.  Yesterday things really broke off and went all crazy yet again. 

Bubba’s been up my ass trying to keep me interested but he so knows I’ve cooled way down.  Honestly, he’s a nice guy but the little extra oomph you need to connect with someone just isn’t there despite my best attempts to talk myself into liking him.  Plus he keeps referencing his freaking accident like he’s trying to subtly make me feel guilty that he wrecked his car (in hopes of me continuing to see him I suppose) and mentioning that I could come see him at his house and that his kids wouldn’t mind meeting me.

Twin was texting me like crazy yesterday and I’ve been becoming more and more Gwyn lately thanks to our little PoF experiment so eventually I stopped responding to his texts.  Especially after he texted me saying “I’d love to see you being momma with your kids” and then, “I really like you.”  It’s just too much too soon bless his earnest little southern broken and battered heart.  After I essentially cut off communication via text yesterday, he has been pretty distant.  I think he realizes he pushed it too far, least I hope he realizes it.  There have only been a couple random texts from him today and I know he gets his kids this afternoon so maybe he’ll be preoccupied this weekend.  Why do all the guys I end up with that have kids want us to be the freaking Brady Bunch right away?

I also got a total crazy and random message via PoF from of all people Lawyer Boy yesterday.  It said something to the effect of, “Hey Miranda.  I’m just hanging out and waiting on my bar exam results.  I’ve been out of town but will be back home next week.  Talk to you soon.”  WTF?  Were he and I having a conversation I didn’t realize?  I haven’t talked to him since the day after the bar, almost a month ago!  I sent him a text a couple of days after that wishing him a happy birthday but I haven’t heard jack from him since then.  What a weirdo!

On top of all that, Sawyer wants to have these serious conversations about how hard it is to make the decision to leave his wife.  Whatever dude, it’s time to get off the pot or piss.  And I made some comment to him about how if only he wanted to actually sleep with his wife instead of EVERYONE else he might be happy at home.  Sawyer said I don’t want to sleep with everyone.  I laughed and said ok then, just some of them.  Of course he countered with, “I just really want to be with you.”  When I read that, I promptly threw up in my mouth a little and changed the subject.  So not going back there with him.

Then Flyboy is back hot and heavy which is awesome and at the same time ridiculous.  He gets me to misbehave in such crazy ways.  Last night he and I skyped for the very first time and yes it got dirty.  Skype is clearly both a blessing because you get to see the person but it’s also torture because you get to see them but you can’t touch!  At any rate, even with my crappy internet connection it was pretty awesome to see his face (along with other well-remembered parts of him) while we talked.  I think he might legitimately be getting to the point where he feels like he needs to calm the fuck down with his running around, much like I felt after my last bad hook up with Cabana Boy.  I really knew I had hit the peak of my wildness and need to straighten up at least a little bit.  If Flyboy’s not there already, he’s mighty damn close.  Tonight will probably be par for the course with he and I talking late into the night.  I don’t think I’ve been to bed once before 1 am this week.

The PoF experiment has created a flurry of new guys too.  Some good, some not so good.  Being “Gwyn” on my profile and in my reactions is producing some interesting results though.  The majority of guys responding are definitely manlier than my normal type with quite a few meatheads thrown into the mix.  A few broken battered boys have slipped in but just a few.  No one in line for a date yet though there are some prospects if I can keep up my energy level.  One is even a DJ on a fairly popular radio station here.  That could definitely be an interesting experience.

Last up on the crazy train is my weird rekindling of some sort of thing (albeit friendship or more I’m not sure) with FJB.  We are still talking pretty much every day via email or Facebook or IM.  He had noticed I’d redone my profile on PoF and I told him about our little experiment and offered to let him join in.  He readily agreed so today Gwyn and I rewrote his profile and I think it turned out pretty damn good.  Gwyn landed on a couple gold mines by crafting these two sentences in there, “I am tolerant of many things but a big deal deal-breaker for me is a girl with more issues than a subscription to Newsweek,” and “She is interested in and knowledgeable of current events but she most likely gained her knowledge from The Wall Street Journal as opposed to tmz.com.”  She’s a comedic genius folks!  He seemed quite impressed with our profile writing abilities and in the spirit of the experiment said he’d post it verbatim and update his profile pic per our request too. 

Later in email he used a great analogy that I think fits my frame of mind lately.  He said, “I feel like I’ve done the catch and release thing long enough, I’m ready for a keeper.”  I may not be ready for a lifelong keeper, but I’m damn sure ready to have one that lasts more than a couple of dates or who I see more regularly than once a month. 

I’ve been in such a funky frame of mind lately but finding out today that Mercury is in retrograde explains it all pretty well.  Even my horoscope is recognizing my frame of mind.  Today’s love horoscope…the planetary configuration indicates that you have every opportunity to take a cool look at a romantic situation that may have been leading you in circles lately.  You need the time today to think deeply about your values and what you really want out of a relationship.  Don't be forced or hurried into any decisions - take your time this time.  It will be worth it

Miranda