WTF Friday

It's just been a wtf kind of week...I'm glad I know Mercury is to blame now. I have a kid free weekend with no plans and I'm thinking it's a good thing. I may just lay low and chill. Gavin came over earlier, but not for sex. We just did a line and hung out talking for a while. He told me he'd call me later, but I doubt it. Once he starts, he usually keeps going until he gets paranoid and then isn't that into sex and he knows I'm not a heavy user so I won't keep doing it with him all night. It's funny though because we were literally just talking about our lack of use the other day and how it's really so much better for us and then here he is with lines for us this afternoon...obviously Mercury. I did surmise today that he's still with the gf, but he sounds miserable. I just don't get that...really. If after 5 years you can't even consider living with the person that you're with when you're in a housing bind, why would you still be with them? It's not my deal...I'm just saying.

Clark and I had a weird text exchange last night where he told me that he wants me to want him completely and to feel what I feel and to tell him when I feel it. Um, yeah...that's not likely to happen. I don't tell guys how I feel about them, mostly because I don't often have feelings for them. I basically told him that this is something that's really hard for me to do, plus what difference would it make anyway because he's in a situation that he currently feels he can't get out of. Miranda says that men just want to know that they are the center of our universes. I think she's right on.

On another note, I did the right thing yesterday (for once!). I'd been drunk texting Texas earlier this week about hooking up now that's he back on the island and we had agreed to meet yesterday. Then I started thinking about it and unlike the guys I'm currently seeing that are attached, Texas' situation is different. He actually likes the girl he's with and their relationship is very new. I FB emailed him and told him that I didn't want to interfere in his current relationship and that if they break up, he should totally call me...but otherwise, I didn't want to see him. He agreed and said he appreciated my perspective on things. Honestly, I don't feel guilty about seeing the current 3 (Gavin, Clark, and Owen...well, randomly seeing Owen) because I feel like they've been in their relationships for a long time and they are clearly unhappy...but to interfere with something new that could bring happiness just seems like a really shitty thing to do.
-Jules