Happy 10th Anniversary
I should probably wait until the day ends to post this, but what the hell...writing is therapeutic for me. Today is my 10th anniversary with Russell. I just sort of wish we could skip today, but seemingly we can't. I told him Tuesday I really wasn't into looking at our wedding pics this year, which is our annual tradition, but he said he would look at them with Chloe then. Weird...but ok, whatever. We were supposed to go out to dinner tonight, but seems he didn't budget appropriately for it and I'm not paying, so we're having a picnic on the beach at sunset...he said he felt that was an appropriate time...I pretty much concur...very poetic.
So, I woke up today almost immediately pissed. Ten years ago, I thought today was going to be a much different day. We had talked about going back to Bora Bora for our 10th anniversary. I thought I'd get the cool anniversary band with all the bling, but no. I did however realize that I live in Hawaii and I freaking love it even more than Bora Bora and that while the dynamics of it all are much different than I had thought, I'm exactly where I thought I would be today. I'm on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I have an amazing little girl and I love where I am. I essentially sent him a text saying all of this and thanking him for bringing me here.
My mother sent me a great email this morning telling me that she was thinking of me today and hoped I wouldn't be too sad. I'm still a little bit sad, but nothing a bottle of wine can't cure. Here's her email:
Just realized the date is August 5 and so I’m thinking about you and hoping you are not sad today. I, for one, am celebrating all the very great times we have had with you, he and the Lovely Miss Chloe and wouldn’t have traded those good times for anything—or for all the love all three of you have shown Ronnie* and me through all those years and most especially in the last year. Many people never achieve the level of happiness you and Russell had together and I hope you will continue to be friends and cherish all you’ve had together even as you move on down your own roads. I love you!!
-Jules
*If you know me, you know the changing of my Dad's name to this is hilarious.
So, I woke up today almost immediately pissed. Ten years ago, I thought today was going to be a much different day. We had talked about going back to Bora Bora for our 10th anniversary. I thought I'd get the cool anniversary band with all the bling, but no. I did however realize that I live in Hawaii and I freaking love it even more than Bora Bora and that while the dynamics of it all are much different than I had thought, I'm exactly where I thought I would be today. I'm on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I have an amazing little girl and I love where I am. I essentially sent him a text saying all of this and thanking him for bringing me here.
My mother sent me a great email this morning telling me that she was thinking of me today and hoped I wouldn't be too sad. I'm still a little bit sad, but nothing a bottle of wine can't cure. Here's her email:
Just realized the date is August 5 and so I’m thinking about you and hoping you are not sad today. I, for one, am celebrating all the very great times we have had with you, he and the Lovely Miss Chloe and wouldn’t have traded those good times for anything—or for all the love all three of you have shown Ronnie* and me through all those years and most especially in the last year. Many people never achieve the level of happiness you and Russell had together and I hope you will continue to be friends and cherish all you’ve had together even as you move on down your own roads. I love you!!
-Jules
*If you know me, you know the changing of my Dad's name to this is hilarious.
Wow, I can't imagine how complicated today must feel. Anniversary or no, I hope you have a great day despite.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above that today must feel very complicated, but I definitely think your mom is very wise about this. On this day, if any, you should remember the happy times you have had, as friends and as a family. You may yet make more, even if the roles change alot. That is what life is like anyway, no one stays the same. Happy Anniversary anyway, spread some good kharma on this day. :)
ReplyDeleteEven if you don't feel like celebrating today...take the time to feel proud!! A decade is a damn long time, you made the impossible, possible and a very smart, cute little girl!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I had to to read yor post twice to catch on to your dad's name choice!! Lol
Ha! It took me a minute on his name too. I bet today was a weird mix of emotions for you. I wonder what my anniversary will be like this year...
ReplyDeleteMiranda
Thanks guys! It ended up being a good day...of course I had sex with Gavin, which is clearly not good karma, but it was a good day all the same. See Part II!
ReplyDelete-Jules