Sleeping with the Enemy
Wow. The last 24 hours with IT have been totally insane. So after I posted last night I added a comment that said things actually got much worse. He totally went off on me basically insisting that I drop my job, family, kids, etc. and make him number one in my life. He even implied several times that I was just playing games with him and that I just wanted a guy to “fuck.” It got deep let me tell you what. Strangely I found myself placating him and trying harder and harder to diffuse the situation. I finally gave up and went to bed after he sent me several ugly texts that basically said to forget everything.
After I went to bed I got a couple more texts from him where he said I was making him out to be the bad guy and being totally unreasonable. In my grogginess this morning, I sent him one more text that said I didn’t think he was a bad guy at all but he had said some things that had hurt my feelings and I couldn’t drop everything in my life for him.
As I sat in a boring ass workshop this morning, I thought more and more about it. I was quite confused with myself and my behavior. During the mass amount of time we spent together last week there are a few little things that happened that I just chalked up to us being different people. Looking back, I know I was deluding myself and falling into some kind of “abused” woman pattern of tough.
Exhibit A – At the after work event we went to on Thursday, he introduced me to his friend and me and the friend spoke for a few moments. Then IT and the friend started having a conversation which I was completely left out of. So I pulled out my phone to send a quick text message and he made some joke in conversation about how much I text. Which admittedly I do but I try to refrain when I’m with someone. I didn’t think much about it till we were leaving and he lightly chastised me on the walk to the car. He said something to the effect of, “You’re lucky you’re not my girlfriend because that was really rude to send a text message in front of my friend. Do you have any idea how inappropriate that was?” He said this in a mildly joking manner so while it bugged me I tried to squash it in my mind. By the way, I did defend myself and say I wasn’t part of their conversation so I didn’t think it was rude but I apologized if it seemed that way.
Exhibit B – On Sunday we were lounging around and somehow we were talking about sex and he told me some crazy story from his past. We had a good laugh about it and then I made some vague mention of a crazy thing I did in college and he jumped up and walked away. I thought that was weird. A few minutes later he walked back in the living room and proceed to lecture me on sharing details of my past sex life with any guy. Basically said no guy wants to hear any detail of a girls’ past sex life. Okkayyy. I was about a bottle of wine into this so I let it slide but WTF with that double standard?
So then the crazy roller coaster of happy/mad/happy/mad happened yesterday. So I sent that text this morning to him and then as I sat in my workshop I started thinking about how much I’d muted my natural personality for him. I’d been working hard on being subservient to him for some reason. Letting him basically say and do whatever he wanted. That’s so not me. Despite whatever lingering feelings I had for IT at this point, I knew going on the cruise with him would be nothing but a bad idea. No good could come of it.
So I agonized over a very long text I sent him saying that I thought he should go on the vacation and have a great time. That I liked him and was open to spending more time with him but I thought this was all too much too soon and that we clearly need to work out some communication issues if we continue to hang out. I said I had a career, kids, and a fractured family I was trying to juggle and that I had room in my life for a relationship but that person had to understand I’m not a free and “single” girl. I was nice still but I was very firm this time. It was a long text. I held my breath and hit send.
Almost immediately I got a text back from him that it had come in broken up as about 12 texts. Oops lol. Like I said it was long. Then all holy hell broke loose via text message. He freaking lost it. IT started calling me names, telling me I was crazy, that he’d never forgive me for this. That I’d been playing games, that my feelings and concerns were all bullshit, I was an idiot, I should thank my lucky stars for having someone like him in my life. That I was stupid for being that way with him and on and on and on. The texts kept coming and I eventually turned off my phone to resist the urge to read any more. Please not in all that mass of texting, I bet easily 20 texts back to me, I only responded one time. I merely said my feelings weren’t BS and I wasn’t an idiot. How grown up of me LOL.
His last text to me said to never contact him again. Alright, not a problem with me at all! Then mid afternoon I got a voicemail from him. Basically reiterating everything he said via text throwing in that all he wanted me to say last night was that “I’d do whatever he wanted” and then everything would have been alright. That I was a freak in bed (side note – I followed his lead in bed, not the other way around), how I should be kissing the ground he walked on for how much money on me last week (about $500) and how he’d been planning to pay for the cruise, and that I had some serious issues for which he recommended mass amounts of therapy.
Wow. He has a lot of hate and anger let me tell you what. All I could keep thinking was what if I hadn’t said no to seeing him on Monday and had not set off this crazy train yet and had went on the cruise and been trapped with him face to face when he exploded. I have no doubt in my mind he’d have at the very least threatened me physically if not actually have hit me. And then I’d have to kill him and I’d be in jail and my blog posts would not have been nearly as good.
It is seriously scary though to think about what might have happened. Thank heavens he doesn’t know where I live. He’s got some serious issues. Despite all his promises of being a real catch, he sure turned out to be a crazy dud. I rewarded myself with a massage this evening for avoiding being trapped in an abusive relationship!
Shortly after IT's crazy voicemail, High School Crush randomly texted me. He said he really wanted to take me out and that he’d been keeping up with me on Facebook LOL. We are going to dinner on Thursday. Then the Country rich boy (who Gwyn and Jules bashed as too country for me) called me and we spent like an hour talking. He seems really nice (don’t worry, my defense are on extremely high thanks to IT so all judgments will be reserved till after a few in person events). Our schedules have been all wonky so we haven’t had time to meet but we made plans to do dinner on Friday.
Never let it be said that any grass grows under my feet. One out, two in. So goes it in the life of Miranda.
Miranda
PS – How about this as my horoscope today! “Be a bit more selective in terms of where you put your energy today, Gemini. Don't waste your time with situations that aren't healthy or conducive to your aims. As far as you're concerned, the more, the merrier! New friendships -- which could certainly become hotter connections -- are easy for you to make now, so take today's fabulous energy and run with it!”
PPS – I just spent like 3 hours instant messaging with FJB. I swear the crazy follows me. At least I know his brand of crazy. It was all just genial friendly messaging. I think we could actually become friends which would be kind of cool all things considered.
After I went to bed I got a couple more texts from him where he said I was making him out to be the bad guy and being totally unreasonable. In my grogginess this morning, I sent him one more text that said I didn’t think he was a bad guy at all but he had said some things that had hurt my feelings and I couldn’t drop everything in my life for him.
As I sat in a boring ass workshop this morning, I thought more and more about it. I was quite confused with myself and my behavior. During the mass amount of time we spent together last week there are a few little things that happened that I just chalked up to us being different people. Looking back, I know I was deluding myself and falling into some kind of “abused” woman pattern of tough.
Exhibit A – At the after work event we went to on Thursday, he introduced me to his friend and me and the friend spoke for a few moments. Then IT and the friend started having a conversation which I was completely left out of. So I pulled out my phone to send a quick text message and he made some joke in conversation about how much I text. Which admittedly I do but I try to refrain when I’m with someone. I didn’t think much about it till we were leaving and he lightly chastised me on the walk to the car. He said something to the effect of, “You’re lucky you’re not my girlfriend because that was really rude to send a text message in front of my friend. Do you have any idea how inappropriate that was?” He said this in a mildly joking manner so while it bugged me I tried to squash it in my mind. By the way, I did defend myself and say I wasn’t part of their conversation so I didn’t think it was rude but I apologized if it seemed that way.
Exhibit B – On Sunday we were lounging around and somehow we were talking about sex and he told me some crazy story from his past. We had a good laugh about it and then I made some vague mention of a crazy thing I did in college and he jumped up and walked away. I thought that was weird. A few minutes later he walked back in the living room and proceed to lecture me on sharing details of my past sex life with any guy. Basically said no guy wants to hear any detail of a girls’ past sex life. Okkayyy. I was about a bottle of wine into this so I let it slide but WTF with that double standard?
So then the crazy roller coaster of happy/mad/happy/mad happened yesterday. So I sent that text this morning to him and then as I sat in my workshop I started thinking about how much I’d muted my natural personality for him. I’d been working hard on being subservient to him for some reason. Letting him basically say and do whatever he wanted. That’s so not me. Despite whatever lingering feelings I had for IT at this point, I knew going on the cruise with him would be nothing but a bad idea. No good could come of it.
So I agonized over a very long text I sent him saying that I thought he should go on the vacation and have a great time. That I liked him and was open to spending more time with him but I thought this was all too much too soon and that we clearly need to work out some communication issues if we continue to hang out. I said I had a career, kids, and a fractured family I was trying to juggle and that I had room in my life for a relationship but that person had to understand I’m not a free and “single” girl. I was nice still but I was very firm this time. It was a long text. I held my breath and hit send.
Almost immediately I got a text back from him that it had come in broken up as about 12 texts. Oops lol. Like I said it was long. Then all holy hell broke loose via text message. He freaking lost it. IT started calling me names, telling me I was crazy, that he’d never forgive me for this. That I’d been playing games, that my feelings and concerns were all bullshit, I was an idiot, I should thank my lucky stars for having someone like him in my life. That I was stupid for being that way with him and on and on and on. The texts kept coming and I eventually turned off my phone to resist the urge to read any more. Please not in all that mass of texting, I bet easily 20 texts back to me, I only responded one time. I merely said my feelings weren’t BS and I wasn’t an idiot. How grown up of me LOL.
His last text to me said to never contact him again. Alright, not a problem with me at all! Then mid afternoon I got a voicemail from him. Basically reiterating everything he said via text throwing in that all he wanted me to say last night was that “I’d do whatever he wanted” and then everything would have been alright. That I was a freak in bed (side note – I followed his lead in bed, not the other way around), how I should be kissing the ground he walked on for how much money on me last week (about $500) and how he’d been planning to pay for the cruise, and that I had some serious issues for which he recommended mass amounts of therapy.
Wow. He has a lot of hate and anger let me tell you what. All I could keep thinking was what if I hadn’t said no to seeing him on Monday and had not set off this crazy train yet and had went on the cruise and been trapped with him face to face when he exploded. I have no doubt in my mind he’d have at the very least threatened me physically if not actually have hit me. And then I’d have to kill him and I’d be in jail and my blog posts would not have been nearly as good.
It is seriously scary though to think about what might have happened. Thank heavens he doesn’t know where I live. He’s got some serious issues. Despite all his promises of being a real catch, he sure turned out to be a crazy dud. I rewarded myself with a massage this evening for avoiding being trapped in an abusive relationship!
Shortly after IT's crazy voicemail, High School Crush randomly texted me. He said he really wanted to take me out and that he’d been keeping up with me on Facebook LOL. We are going to dinner on Thursday. Then the Country rich boy (who Gwyn and Jules bashed as too country for me) called me and we spent like an hour talking. He seems really nice (don’t worry, my defense are on extremely high thanks to IT so all judgments will be reserved till after a few in person events). Our schedules have been all wonky so we haven’t had time to meet but we made plans to do dinner on Friday.
Never let it be said that any grass grows under my feet. One out, two in. So goes it in the life of Miranda.
Miranda
PS – How about this as my horoscope today! “Be a bit more selective in terms of where you put your energy today, Gemini. Don't waste your time with situations that aren't healthy or conducive to your aims. As far as you're concerned, the more, the merrier! New friendships -- which could certainly become hotter connections -- are easy for you to make now, so take today's fabulous energy and run with it!”
PPS – I just spent like 3 hours instant messaging with FJB. I swear the crazy follows me. At least I know his brand of crazy. It was all just genial friendly messaging. I think we could actually become friends which would be kind of cool all things considered.
So my comment yesterday was meant as a joke....now not so much....in al seriousness if any man ever hit you..we would hide the body well enough that none of us would be caught!!
ReplyDeleteJosie
Man my radar is getting really good these days! If only I could get it to work for myself.......
ReplyDelete-Gwyn
What a freaky experience! I mean really, this could have ended so badly!
ReplyDelete