Monday, August 23, 2010

Birthday Divorce Dilemma

To take a momentary break from our dating dilemmas, I have a divorce dilemma on my hands. Friday is Duckie’s birthday and I’m trying to decide what to do about that.
My birthday was in June and Duckie did NOT have the kids buy me a present. They had cards for me but that was it and I got a Happy Birthday email from him. Now at the time, he was still really mad at me so I sort of understand his motivations but I think it was pretty shitty regardless.
There’s a part of me that for spite doesn’t want to make any effort to buy him a gift from the kids but at the same time, I want the kids to have a gift if that’s what they want to do. Plus, things have been so friendly between me and Duckie lately I’d hate to do anything that would put us back on the outs.

So the dilemma is, do I:

A. Just have the kids buy/make cards.
B. Buy a gift that the kids can give him.
C. Ask the kids what they want to do and go with whatever they say.

What do you think? And do I buy him a card from myself or just stick to the email greeting?




  1. I would leave it up to the kids, like you said he was still really mad but you are the mature one... but i think an email if that is more than enough.

  2. I think answer C is where it's at.

  3. FYI - I asked Leo what he wanted to do and apparently a couple of weeks ago when they were spending the weekend with Duckie's mom she took the kids to some pottery painting place and the kids made birthday presents for him. So apparently I'm in the clear and we will just do birthday cards. Though I do think I'll get Duckie a card from me. Just seems like the right thing to do.


  4. In the words of my mother, I say you do what you would want your children to do if they were in this situation aka model good behavior. But it sounds like you already did that!

    I think you giving him a bday card from you is also something good for the kids to see - that even though you aren't married anymore you still care about each other as people and can set your issues aside when the time calls for it.


  5. I agree with Gwyn. Also, it gives you a little extra "More proof that I'm the non-petty, mature one" point.