Ebb and Flow
The flow of the team, as Miranda calls it, is entertaining to sit back and watch sometimes. I wish I could chart the stars with when they seemingly all flood back into my existence. I would like to point out that despite my periodic searching on the Internet for new boy toys, I don't tend to initiate contact. I hardly ever send texts/emails first and I never, ever call.
For example, I had this similar conversation today with Gavin. Gavin returned from his month long trip to NJ like 2 days ago...he called me today. He said "I really miss seeing you" . I told him that I missed being with him too, but was worried that he was going to freak out on me like he did before. Our "relationship" is very weird...I like him because he's a bad boy and we have this crazy intense sexual attraction, but that really is about it. I think we both appreciate the fact that we can say, be, and do things around one another without judgment. I actually saw him last night at his old house right down the road from mine and my heart skipped a beat. It wasn't that 'I love him' skip a beat, but it was the OMG that man is HOT and I want him right NOW skip a beat. It's an odd chemistry. Anyway, he's still with the gf I think in some capacity. His exact words were "This chick has got me by the balls and I have several warrants out on me, so I have to be super discreet". I replied as I've told him before, "I don't call you...you always call me.". So, I'm weak with regards to him and I'm sure I'll see him next week sometime. He wanted me to come over this afternoon, but quite frankly I wasn't giving in that easily and I'm still bleeding...so I told him I could see him one night in the next few days or I'm off on Tuesday.
In other random boy news, Owen sent me an email last night saying that his wife was gone for the night and he had a sleeping child at home, but was totally wanting me to come over and fuck him in their spare room. Fortunately, I got this email way after he sent it, but honestly had he been serious about that offer I'm thinking he would have used a faster communication method (ie text). I've never been to his house and I think that in light of our current 2 month break due to his wife's correct assumptions that he's having an affair...now is clearly NOT the time for me to be going. This is how people get caught.
Andy 33 keeps randomly texting me, but I've pretty much written him off. No word at all from Andy 26 since last weekend when I blew him off (not literally) and Neighbor Guy seems to be avoiding me like the plague. Despite his claims to want to do it again, I think he went home and started feeling instantly guilty. He seems that type. I'm obviously not pursuing it because I have enough on my plate at this moment and I don't pursue them in general. Canada sent me a text the other day begging to be let back onto the team, but I told Miranda I don't think I can just fuck him again. I can't get past the fact that I think he's a pussy, but I know my toy is here and I'm dying to try the glass one! Chile has also resurfaced this week via FB messaging, but I've kept it light and simple and non-committal to meeting up again. Texas is coming back and keeps sending me texts and FB messages, but then tells me he's got a gf here that he wouldn't feel right cheating on...wtf dude? Then stop contacting me or get over it! If he didn't do completely incredible things to me that other men have yet to achieve, I'd tell him about himself. As it is though, I hope he gets over it and does it at least once more. The other married guy that resurfaced last week is leaving the island for a month next weekend. We were supposed to meet up yesterday afternoon, but since I called into work I was not in any shape and fortunately he bailed too because his boss went with him to his luncheon in town, which is where we were going to hook up after. I doubt I'll see him before he goes, but I expect a lot of hot emailing while he's gone. Whether or not it will materialize beyond that remains to be seen.
My "team" is currently a clusterfuck of the old coming back for more with the random new neighbor thrown in for good measure. Of the old players, I'd like for Owen and Gavin to pick it up with maybe some Andy 26 thrown in from time to time and a one time side of Texas. I anticipate being super busy starting at the end of August with school and I just don't have time to delve into anything beyond the simplistic sex that comes from these guys. I tried to stay away from the attached men, but it's just so much easier and it requires very little emotional output. I do know it's bad karma and I'll pay the price, but right now I think it's worth it.
-Jules
For example, I had this similar conversation today with Gavin. Gavin returned from his month long trip to NJ like 2 days ago...he called me today. He said "I really miss seeing you" . I told him that I missed being with him too, but was worried that he was going to freak out on me like he did before. Our "relationship" is very weird...I like him because he's a bad boy and we have this crazy intense sexual attraction, but that really is about it. I think we both appreciate the fact that we can say, be, and do things around one another without judgment. I actually saw him last night at his old house right down the road from mine and my heart skipped a beat. It wasn't that 'I love him' skip a beat, but it was the OMG that man is HOT and I want him right NOW skip a beat. It's an odd chemistry. Anyway, he's still with the gf I think in some capacity. His exact words were "This chick has got me by the balls and I have several warrants out on me, so I have to be super discreet". I replied as I've told him before, "I don't call you...you always call me.". So, I'm weak with regards to him and I'm sure I'll see him next week sometime. He wanted me to come over this afternoon, but quite frankly I wasn't giving in that easily and I'm still bleeding...so I told him I could see him one night in the next few days or I'm off on Tuesday.
In other random boy news, Owen sent me an email last night saying that his wife was gone for the night and he had a sleeping child at home, but was totally wanting me to come over and fuck him in their spare room. Fortunately, I got this email way after he sent it, but honestly had he been serious about that offer I'm thinking he would have used a faster communication method (ie text). I've never been to his house and I think that in light of our current 2 month break due to his wife's correct assumptions that he's having an affair...now is clearly NOT the time for me to be going. This is how people get caught.
Andy 33 keeps randomly texting me, but I've pretty much written him off. No word at all from Andy 26 since last weekend when I blew him off (not literally) and Neighbor Guy seems to be avoiding me like the plague. Despite his claims to want to do it again, I think he went home and started feeling instantly guilty. He seems that type. I'm obviously not pursuing it because I have enough on my plate at this moment and I don't pursue them in general. Canada sent me a text the other day begging to be let back onto the team, but I told Miranda I don't think I can just fuck him again. I can't get past the fact that I think he's a pussy, but I know my toy is here and I'm dying to try the glass one! Chile has also resurfaced this week via FB messaging, but I've kept it light and simple and non-committal to meeting up again. Texas is coming back and keeps sending me texts and FB messages, but then tells me he's got a gf here that he wouldn't feel right cheating on...wtf dude? Then stop contacting me or get over it! If he didn't do completely incredible things to me that other men have yet to achieve, I'd tell him about himself. As it is though, I hope he gets over it and does it at least once more. The other married guy that resurfaced last week is leaving the island for a month next weekend. We were supposed to meet up yesterday afternoon, but since I called into work I was not in any shape and fortunately he bailed too because his boss went with him to his luncheon in town, which is where we were going to hook up after. I doubt I'll see him before he goes, but I expect a lot of hot emailing while he's gone. Whether or not it will materialize beyond that remains to be seen.
My "team" is currently a clusterfuck of the old coming back for more with the random new neighbor thrown in for good measure. Of the old players, I'd like for Owen and Gavin to pick it up with maybe some Andy 26 thrown in from time to time and a one time side of Texas. I anticipate being super busy starting at the end of August with school and I just don't have time to delve into anything beyond the simplistic sex that comes from these guys. I tried to stay away from the attached men, but it's just so much easier and it requires very little emotional output. I do know it's bad karma and I'll pay the price, but right now I think it's worth it.
-Jules
Wow, you must be the best coach ever. I love the way you call the plays....set the lines....motivate the players to be the best they can be or fucking quit and walk away.
ReplyDeleteLMAO, yeah I'm kind of a bitch but guys eat it up and obviously keep coming back for more. I make up for my bitchiness in many delightful ways, so I guess the trade off is worth it. ;)
ReplyDelete-Jules
Ahhh, I just read your last post...explains a lot of your recent comments.
ReplyDelete-Jules
I think that in light of our current 2 month break due to his wife's correct assumptions that he's having an affair...now is clearly NOT the time for me to be going. This is how people get caught.
ReplyDeleteHow do you always get stuck having to be the voice of reason?
Can't say I blame you for your interest in married men. In the end, who else is going to be better suited to sympathizing with your situation and schedule? Try not to think about it as you breaking a home... it's more like two people whose home lives are already broken finding comfort with one another. In which case, you should get good karma!
Or perhaps I'm terrible about rationalizing :-P
Diner you rock! You rationalize things like I tend to do a lot...and for the record, I have no idea why I'm always the voice of "reason". Clearly I lack good judgment... ;)
ReplyDelete-Jules