Saturday, March 20, 2010

I V/S We

Today has been a weird transition day. The kids came back to stay with me and it’s just been odd reacquainting myself with motherhood. It’s like these few past days of singledom have altered my patterns and I’m struggling to remember what it’s like to be all consumed by children.

The first week of freedom was so overwhelmed with emotions and taking care of final details for the apartment, I don’t think I realized what an adjustment I was making. Becoming “single” Miranda has been weird. For 10 years, I’ve been the career woman/suzy homemaker, lol, well at least as much as I could be. After my daily rhythm of get up, get the kids ready, go to work, work, come home, cook dinner, get the kids to bed, this new single life is quite different.

I don’t have to cook if I don’t want to. When I do cook, I can eat whatever the freak I want. I don’t have to clean up nearly as much, dirty dishes can pile up in the sink/dishwasher for days before I have to do anything about them. Get up when I want, go to bed when I want. Come home when I want, go where I want. It’s a very “I” kind of existence. After years and years of being “we,” it’s weird; what can I say?

So today, the kids are back in full force and it’s caught me by surprise shifting from that new “I” back to some version of the old “we.” The mom wheels feel a little rusty so to speak. I imagine as we go along, this shift between I and We will start feeling a little more routine.

Crazy Date Boy hasn’t given up on me yet. Still texting and chatting me up. He complained via chat today that we haven’t actually “spoken” since our date. Whatever! If he wasn’t such a pussy he wouldn’t have had his baby temper tantrum early in the week and maybe I would have been willing to speak with him. Loser, reminded me a lot of Duckie when we were first dating! AGHGGHGHGHGGH!

I got my hair cut yesterday and my hair dresser is in the midst of a divorce as well. Sounds like very similar circumstances and we had a good little vent/bitch session lol. She did give me a good tip. I have been worrying that if Duckie caught wind of my growing social life, he'd go nuts and try to change the terms of our separation agreement yet again. However, she said her lawyer told her that here in NC, as of last october, once the papers are signed and filed, doesn't matter what you do or say. Your partner has no grounds for changing the terms. That's a relief!

Crazy times for sure. It’s amazing how quickly and how entirely my life has changed. I wonder if one day I’m going to wake up with a massive “change” hangover.


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