Russell's an Asshole

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I should stop snooping through his personal stuff (text messages) b/c everytime I do I end up hating him some. I mean, yeah I've been sleeping with other people for years...but it pisses me off to think that he is too after years of ignoring me. I know he's gay...I get it...but gd if he put in half the effort to intimacy with me that he seems to have found with men, we probably would have been ok. I'm just saying after a bottle of wine...I kind of hate him. I'm bitter and feeling like the only reason I'm staying right now is for the money. (Ok, I'm also staying for Chloe. It's not fair to her for me to move her 5,000 miles from her dad just b/c I can't stand him.)
I didn't get to see Gavin tonight between him working all day and having his kid this weekend. I'm just not ready to go there yet. AND I should mention it's full on PMS here at my house...so, god help them all. ;)
-Jules

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