Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings
As for you dear blog readers waiting to hear an update to Sawyer’s surprising revelation Friday morning, I never got to see him this weekend so this is what he said over email in response to the question of why he said it and what he meant…
“I shouldn't have said that. I am letting my feelings get too strong for you. I am sorry for saying it and I won’t say it again. It’s a bad thing because I am not going anywhere right now. It’s not fair to you because you will want to move on and I am pretty content where I am for now.”
Now understand that I have told him for quite a long time now that I am ok with our situation. We’ve talked in quite detail about why we were/are unhappy with our spouses and where we see ourselves as individuals in the near future. I’ve told him many a time that I’m fine with the way things are now.
I’m grown up enough to admit that sure I’d like to see him more frequently and I’d definitely prefer him not to be married but it is what it is. I understand why he’s staying in the short term and I’m not asking for anything from him. I’ve also told him that if this gets to a point where I feel like I can’t continue to see him, I’ll be the first to say so. Plus, I don’t even know that if we were both single, that everything would be hunky-dory. I mean we spend at most 2 hours together at any one time and that’s rare. We do email all day long but still, physically being with someone makes the whole game change.
In case you are wondering, I reiterated all that to him again and told him if he wants to say things like that, it is ok with me. I can handle it. Hell, as much crap as I hear from Duckie these days I’d love to hear someone say they like me!
Sawyer has said that he’s not asking me to “wait” for him once I move out and he knows I will want to see other people. He claims he’ll be ok with that. I call bullshit. From what I’ve seen, he’s not the sharing type, which is ironic since he doesn’t seem to have a problem sharing himself. We shall see where this leads….
Miranda
“I shouldn't have said that. I am letting my feelings get too strong for you. I am sorry for saying it and I won’t say it again. It’s a bad thing because I am not going anywhere right now. It’s not fair to you because you will want to move on and I am pretty content where I am for now.”
Now understand that I have told him for quite a long time now that I am ok with our situation. We’ve talked in quite detail about why we were/are unhappy with our spouses and where we see ourselves as individuals in the near future. I’ve told him many a time that I’m fine with the way things are now.
I’m grown up enough to admit that sure I’d like to see him more frequently and I’d definitely prefer him not to be married but it is what it is. I understand why he’s staying in the short term and I’m not asking for anything from him. I’ve also told him that if this gets to a point where I feel like I can’t continue to see him, I’ll be the first to say so. Plus, I don’t even know that if we were both single, that everything would be hunky-dory. I mean we spend at most 2 hours together at any one time and that’s rare. We do email all day long but still, physically being with someone makes the whole game change.
In case you are wondering, I reiterated all that to him again and told him if he wants to say things like that, it is ok with me. I can handle it. Hell, as much crap as I hear from Duckie these days I’d love to hear someone say they like me!
Sawyer has said that he’s not asking me to “wait” for him once I move out and he knows I will want to see other people. He claims he’ll be ok with that. I call bullshit. From what I’ve seen, he’s not the sharing type, which is ironic since he doesn’t seem to have a problem sharing himself. We shall see where this leads….
Miranda
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