Clarification

I realize last night's post was a little cryptic. Here's the story.
First of all, I was going through Russell's phone b/c he sent me a text yesterday saying that Jesse had sent him several texts that day or the day before and he had not responded to them. I honestly don't believe a word he says about this guy, history and all. So, I went snooping around his phone...wrong of me yes, but whatever. I found 2 things that just sent me over the proverbial edge. First, I found where he was texting with some guy yesterday that he clearly didn't know and inviting him to our house later if I'd gone out. This is why I find that so completely unacceptable. There are a ton of total whackjobs on the Internet...seriously. You do NOT know who you are talking to until you've talked a while or met them out (preferably in a safe location). DO NOT BRING SOMEONE YOU DO NOT KNOW INTO MY HOUSE WITH MY SLEEPING BABY. OMG, could you make a larger error in judgement?? I mean, c'mon!
Ok so that aside then I find a text message to this guy, Steve, that is a story in and of himself, but here's the short version. Steve is the last guy that Russell and I hooked up with in the threeway sense before our separation. Steve is a nice guy, 21 yr old, Military...total SNOOZE in bed. I was literally bored off my ass. It's hard to be bored during a threeway, but it happened...twice. At that point in time, I was also completely over having sex with Russell too. Anyway, Steve is not gay and Russell and Steve are not having sex, but they have developed a friendship (no, not that kind...). BUT GET THIS...I read texts between them about finding a WOMAN for a threesome...not only a woman, but a "cougar". Dude, seriously??? That was a slap in the face from Russell. The guy has not been able to get it up to properly fuck me in 7 years, but he's agreeing to a threeway with some random older woman (Please note his affection tends toward YOUNG guys.)
All of this information, plus a bottle of wine did not lend itself to a good evening here. I went ballistic. I actually physically struck him several times. He threatened to call the cops to which I responded, "Go ahead MF, it's a domestic where I'm kicking your ass...they won't do anything to me...especially when I tell them you're a faggot.". Yes, I'm SO very NOT proud of that sentence. It actually hurt to type it. When I'm that mad though, it's just on....the gloves are off. Needless to say, he didn't call the cops and we eventually worked through it. He noted his HUGE error in judgement over having someone to our house that he had not met. He also assured me that the thing with Steve and another woman was just total fantasy and that he'd never act on it for fear of not being able to perform. He thinks Steve is hot and would love to continue to have sex with him and that was the only way he saw it would happen. I think I believe that...regardless, I always say "Don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to.". I essentially did that yesterday by snooping. For Chloe's sake, I really hope we can make this work. I have a lot of anger and hurt to get past though. There's a huge part of me that just wants to cut and run. I'm not...but it's not going to be as easy as I had thought apparently.
-Jules