Weekend Awkwardness
I should probably wait until today plays out to post this, but what the hell. It's been a strange weekend, although sort of "normal" again all at the same time. Friday night, I stayed home with Chloe while Russell was at work and busted my ass doing a bunch of school work. Gavin came over while I was in the middle of it and apologized for the night before and asked to not be fired yet because overall he thinks he does a good job of servicing me. I granted him a pardon. He was super pleased that I was home working on school stuff and not out at a swinger's party...lol.
Saturday I was texting with Clark and we agreed to go see a movie last night after Chloe went to bed. I picked him up and I swear to god it was like a first date with all the awkwardness, but all of the history too. He was ready for me when I got there and had even sprayed himself with cologne. He doesn't typically wear cologne around me because I've actually commented before on his own personal scent. He has a smell that is very uniquely his. I can't remember if I've blogged on this before or not (though I bet I have). Gavin has one as well and it's one of those very distinct things to me. I remember being a little girl and my Dad talking about my Mom. He has always said that he could go blind and still know if she was in a room because of her scent. It's not the cologne you wear or BO or anything, it's just your scent. Russell has one too.
Anyway, I found it odd he was wearing cologne but I also took it as a sign that he was putting some effort into this too. We drove to the movies with some awkward conversation. We arrived kind of early (like 30 minutes) and sat in the theater again making small talk. At one point he asked if I was happy to see him and I said I was. I asked why he had finally agreed to see me again and he said it was because he wanted to go out to the movies. Upon my turning around and asking "Really??", he said "of course not....". This was kind of the extent of that conversation and the movie started. We sat in the theater not touching in any way. I usually lay on him some or we hold hands or something, but not last night. At one point he repositioned himself so that our shoulders touched and he stayed that way until the end.
The conversation back to his house was better and when I pulled up, I just sat there waiting for him to decide what he wanted to do. He said he wasn't sure what the expectation was here now and I told him I had none, that he was free to go home now. He reached over and kissed me and said he didn't want to think about us tonight. I said ok, I didn't ask for him to do so and then silence. Finally he thanked me for not pushing him, kissed me again, and got out. Outside of the car he told me that he's not angry anymore, but he's conflicted about us. I sort of nodded, said ok again, and left.
Meanwhile, Gavin came over yesterday afternoon and hung out with Chloe and I for a little while playing games. He's talking about moving into his own place again. I'm not optimistic that this will work for him, but at least he's thinking about it. He came back over yesterday evening and cooked Russell, Chloe, and I this amazing dinner. His son is staying with him this weekend, so he said he was going home to spend time with him. On the way into Clark's neighborhood, he calls and asks me where I am. I told him I was going to the movies and he asked if I would be gone long. Um, yeah...the length of the movie and the drive home. It seems he had come back down for some adult fun since the kids were settled. He seemed disappointed and on the way home last night, I wished I'd just stayed home and hung out with him.
In super happy news, Owen is back! He texted me yesterday to tell me that he was home, dying to see me, and had been fantasizing about me while he was gone. It seems his phone was off the entire time, so thankfully my pocket dialing incident went unnoticed! In not super happy news, Penn keeps texting me. I've quit responding completely. Yesterday he sent me a text asking when I was in town, telling me he missed me, and that his house was empty then (you know, just in case I wanted to come over). WTF? And finally, today is the day Chloe is meeting Russell's new bf...
-Jules
Saturday I was texting with Clark and we agreed to go see a movie last night after Chloe went to bed. I picked him up and I swear to god it was like a first date with all the awkwardness, but all of the history too. He was ready for me when I got there and had even sprayed himself with cologne. He doesn't typically wear cologne around me because I've actually commented before on his own personal scent. He has a smell that is very uniquely his. I can't remember if I've blogged on this before or not (though I bet I have). Gavin has one as well and it's one of those very distinct things to me. I remember being a little girl and my Dad talking about my Mom. He has always said that he could go blind and still know if she was in a room because of her scent. It's not the cologne you wear or BO or anything, it's just your scent. Russell has one too.
Anyway, I found it odd he was wearing cologne but I also took it as a sign that he was putting some effort into this too. We drove to the movies with some awkward conversation. We arrived kind of early (like 30 minutes) and sat in the theater again making small talk. At one point he asked if I was happy to see him and I said I was. I asked why he had finally agreed to see me again and he said it was because he wanted to go out to the movies. Upon my turning around and asking "Really??", he said "of course not....". This was kind of the extent of that conversation and the movie started. We sat in the theater not touching in any way. I usually lay on him some or we hold hands or something, but not last night. At one point he repositioned himself so that our shoulders touched and he stayed that way until the end.
The conversation back to his house was better and when I pulled up, I just sat there waiting for him to decide what he wanted to do. He said he wasn't sure what the expectation was here now and I told him I had none, that he was free to go home now. He reached over and kissed me and said he didn't want to think about us tonight. I said ok, I didn't ask for him to do so and then silence. Finally he thanked me for not pushing him, kissed me again, and got out. Outside of the car he told me that he's not angry anymore, but he's conflicted about us. I sort of nodded, said ok again, and left.
Meanwhile, Gavin came over yesterday afternoon and hung out with Chloe and I for a little while playing games. He's talking about moving into his own place again. I'm not optimistic that this will work for him, but at least he's thinking about it. He came back over yesterday evening and cooked Russell, Chloe, and I this amazing dinner. His son is staying with him this weekend, so he said he was going home to spend time with him. On the way into Clark's neighborhood, he calls and asks me where I am. I told him I was going to the movies and he asked if I would be gone long. Um, yeah...the length of the movie and the drive home. It seems he had come back down for some adult fun since the kids were settled. He seemed disappointed and on the way home last night, I wished I'd just stayed home and hung out with him.
In super happy news, Owen is back! He texted me yesterday to tell me that he was home, dying to see me, and had been fantasizing about me while he was gone. It seems his phone was off the entire time, so thankfully my pocket dialing incident went unnoticed! In not super happy news, Penn keeps texting me. I've quit responding completely. Yesterday he sent me a text asking when I was in town, telling me he missed me, and that his house was empty then (you know, just in case I wanted to come over). WTF? And finally, today is the day Chloe is meeting Russell's new bf...
-Jules
"I asked why he had finally agreed to see me again..."
ReplyDeleteThis quote from your post gives me cause for concern Jules! Why is it his choice to agree to see you??? Please don't tell me you've been asking to see him after he is the one who acted like a lunatic/maniac/control freak/psycho/man baby last weekend! You did nothing wrong at that party and don't you dare let him tell you or make you think otherwise.
-Gwyn