Sunday, June 27, 2010

Living La Vida Loca

I have been a bad blogger lately and I apologize. A lot has happened, let me fill you in.

So mid-week last week Lawyer Boy (LB) disappeared. Now he does this from time to time when he’s really bogged down studying for the Bar so I didn’t think much of it. I sent him a few texts, an email, and called a couple times and no word. I was a little peeved. I mean we’ve talked more than once about how he thinks I’m so cool because I understand the whole studying thing and I always tell him it’s fine and I can deal with his “distraction” as long as he keeps in touch in some way, shape, or form. So I was more than a little annoyed. I even did a ridiculous high school drive by of his house Thursday night after my work concert just to see if anyone was home with him (there wasn’t). I finally heard from him mid-day on Friday. Apparently he’d left his phone at the law library and it took him a couple days to find it. Some of my texts must have been a little bitchy because he apologized hard core LOL. We ended up not doing anything this weekend because he’s feeling under the gun now with less than a month to the Bar exam. I imagine seeing him is going to be very limited the next few weeks. Booooo!

Thursday night was the last of my work concerts and as usual it was a blast. Dangerously for me, Gwyn was on vacation so I was without a chaperone yet again but I mostly behaved. Thank heavens Cabana Boy bailed on coming out so it was just Pool John and his friends who showed up including the very cute friend I’ve been flirting with whenever possible in front of Cabana Boy. Even more exciting was meeting a new member of my team – Flyboy. Flyboy is the friend of a coworker and he set me on fire. He’s 6’4, an army helicopter pilot, super smart, cocky, sarcastic, an awesome conversationalist, and he’s smoking hot. Weirdly, he has the same name as my dad. That’s kind of odd I have to admit. We spent several hours talking and laughing and doing tequila shots (those seem to be my downfall these days) and he got my number before he left and asked me out for Friday. After that I just hung out with a bunch of girls and laughed and had a good time. Flyboy kept texting me and wanted me to come over and I totally would have gone but my coworker wouldn’t tell me where he was lol. I think she has the hots for him. Much like me, Flyboy’s in the midst of a divorce though he hasn’t actually moved out yet. Of course being in the military he’s hardly ever home anyways. The other bad thing is he actually lives in Maryland though he’s stationed here. He’s here about two weeks out of every month though. While I was texting and eventually talking to Flyboy on the phone I was also texting and talking with College Crush. I swear! Sometimes it’s just ridiculous keeping all these guys in the air.

So all day Friday Flyboy texted me. In all my dating forays, I have yet to meet a guy who talks such a good game as him. OMG good conversation with a witty guy is so freaking hot. My coworker and her brother (Flyboy’s best friend) started giving him hell about going out with me because they’re hoping his marriage still has a chance. Little do they know how bad it’s been and for how long Flyboy and the wife have been each having affairs. Again I have to ask, “Is anyone faithful anymore??” Despite their objections, me and Flyboy still went out. We went to this cool sports bar/restaurant where I actually had my bday dinner last week. We just sat at the bar for a long time talking and giving each other a hard time. Eventually we sat down on the patio and had dinner. He kept telling me how cute my freckles were (I’m a pretty freckly girl especially when I’ve been out in the sun as much as I have been) and he couldn’t stop touching my shoulders and arms because they were so soft (thank you body butter!). Pretty quickly the chemistry was killing both of us so we wrapped up dinner and had planned to go out to another bar. As soon as we got in the car he just grabbed my face and kissed me. OMG. Awesome, perfect, killer kisser. If I hadn’t had my seat belt on I’d have climbed on his lap right then and there. Frankly we both knew where this was headed so we stopped in my favorite dive bar near my house for a few minutes where more hot kissing happened in the car and then we headed for my place. It was ridiculous. It was hot. Basically he killed it and rocked my world lol. I had to text Jules and tell her afterwards that I realized he used Magnum condoms LMFAO. We are definitely going to go out again; it was a pretty freaking awesome night.

After I had taken Flyboy back to his friend’s house, I got a call from College Crush. He was in Baltimore for the weekend and was missing me apparently. While we were talking he said some crazy stuff. First he told me he could either be the only man in my bed or he could just be one of the men in my bed lol. I was feeling pretty drunk at this point and just kept laughing at him and saying, “What???” I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted to be the only man in my bed and he asked me if I’d been with anyone else. Mind you I’m laying in my bed where Flyboy had just rocked my world. Then College Crush started saying how much he liked me and how I was the best thing to happen to him in a long time and then he asked me to be his girlfriend! AGGGGHHH! I knew this was coming sooner or later with him. By some grace of God, his phone died right in the middle of the conversation about being his girlfriend. So I was saved from having to accept or decline. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that.

Saturday I spent most of the day by the pool, well after I got up at noon! I haven’t slept that late in ages. Earlier in the week Sawyer had mentioned that his wife was going to be out of town this weekend and that he wanted to spend the night with me. I kept going back and forth about it because I know he’s so freaking bad for me and I never fully committed. We left it that he was supposed to call me on Saturday. Did a call ever come??? Hell no. Fucker stood me up. That’s it. I’m drawing the line. I’m really done with him now.

Luckily, I had made alternate plans and agreed to go out with Pool John and some of his friends so I didn’t spend my Saturday night at home. We hit up a club in a nearby town where a local band was playing. It was quite interesting to be out on the town with a bunch of 40 year olds lol. Pool John has asked me out a couple times now but I’ve been very clear with him that I’m not getting involved with anyone who lives in the same community. Plus he’s short as hell and you know I don’t go for midgets. But the hot friend I’ve flirted with of his was there. Between flirting I was texting with Lawyer Boy, College Crush, and Flyboy. Freaking radar! LOL. I danced up a storm with some girls I made friends with and my hairdresser who I randomly ran into there. There was a whole contingent of girls who are in the midst of a divorce. It was quite funny. As the night progressed me and the hot friend got closer and closer.

This guy is pretty good looking in a scruffy sort of way. He’s about 6’2, kind of rough around the edges, shaggy blonde hair, and a great deep rumbly southern accent. I’m going to call him SoCo (Southern Comfort) because that’s his drink of choice and it just fits. Josie actually has met this guy and I think she’ll agree SoCo works lol. At one point in the night me and a girl who was my new BFF last night (as drunk girls tend to become) we actually rode the mechanical bull together. Yeah, you read that right. I rode a mechanical bull with another girl. It was that kind of night… Finally everyone was ready to head home and I totally ditched Pool John to get a ride home with SoCo. And as things most often go when drinking is involved, I invited him up and had some hot drunken sex. Really. I was a bad, bad girl this weekend.

SoCo is a friend of Pool John and Cabana Boy so they’re probably going to hate either him or me but whatever. I gave him a hard time about being a bad friend and going for the girl that not one, but two of his friends like lol. SoCo seems like a good guy and he’s pretty cute. He asked me if I was seeing other people and I said yes I was dating several guys. He also asked what he had to do to be one of the guys I was dating or how he could be the number one guy I was dating lol. The only bad thing about him is he’s a smoker. And I really can’t stand to date a smoker. So not my thing. The funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time is that right before we were going to have sex, he asked, “Is this your fertile time?” I thought I was going to fall off the couch laughing.

Sorry for the long post but I’ve been a very very bad girl. This is what happens when Gwyn leaves me unchaperoned. I told her via text that I think I need to commit to one guy so I learn to freaking behave. Sheesh!



  1. I am ROFL "Is this your fertile time?"...that's THE best line...ever. I'm rooting for Flyboy...he's seemingly a catch and his pic was super hot! ;)

  2. That was seriously the most hilarious thing I've heard in a long, long time. But it fits perfectly with his personality. If you took Jeff Daniel's charcter in the Big Lebowski and combined it with Balloo the bear from the Jungle Book, you'd get SoCo! HAHAH! I know that's a crazy description but it works!