Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Did I Ask for Your Opinion????

Seriously.  I know divorce is a polarizing issue but come on people.  It’s not like it’s a rare occurrence these days.  I mean close to 50% of first marriages end in divorce and something like 60-75% of second marriages end in divorce.  I’m willing to bet every single person who reads this blog knows at least five people who are divorced or are in the middle of a divorce.

So why all the judgmental judys out there?  In the last week or so, I’ve had no less than five different women make some disparaging remark or condemning comment about my choice to end my marriage.  And these women hardly know me; they don’t know anything about my marriage, my family, my life, or my relationship with God (I add in that last one because a couple of these women have been bible beaters). 

I know my life has undergone tremendous changes in the last 8-9 months.  I know I have experienced tremendous stress and shocking changes.  But come on people!  I’m not crazy.  I’m not depressed.  I’m not anything.  I did my time in therapy after my dad died to make sure what I was feeling was not caused by what he did.  I thought long and hard about my decision.  Sure I didn’t sit around for years wailing and whining and complaining about my marriage but that’s not me.  I’m decisive.  I weigh out my options, consider the implications, and make a decision and move forward.  Just because it takes years of you bitching and moaning to make a change doesn’t mean I have to be that way.

And yes, I am out there, having fun, having a life, building a new future for myself.  Just because I've chosen to end my marriage doesn't mean I'm going to to sit at home alone, knitting, crying into a cup of tea, becoming a lonely cat lady just because my life has turned out different from what I expected. I mean come on, have you even met my devil cat?  She's half the reason I want to be out of the freaking apartment so bad!

And don’t let me put all the blame on being judgmental on the women out there. More than one guy in the past few months has given me the raised eyebrow when they find out I’m the one who chose to leave and push for the divorce.  Get over it dill-weeds!  About 60% of divorces are initiated by WOMEN these days. 

Basically what I’m telling all you haters is to get the fuck over it!  My life, my choice, my decision to do what I felt was best for me and my family.  Mind your own fucking business…

PS - Yes I do feel better now that I got that off my chest LOL.


  1. You go girl! I cannot STAND it when people I don't know try to give me advice on how to live my life. Mind your own fucking business is right! The bible thumpers are the worst! I'm not particularly religious but doesn't the bible basically preach tolerance and acceptance? Someone please point out the part where it says that I have to be EXACTLY like you...go ahead, I'll wait...

  2. "...that these women sometimes hate their children, hate their husbands, hate their lives - is so powerful that it threatens their own very carefully constructed self images in such a way that the only choice is to divert this to other women. The "Look over there" strategy which is defined by many feminists, like Dr Lyn Mikel Brown as "horizontal aggression"

    This just about sums it up I'd say.


  3. Wow. I didn't realize it was still 1950 on the east coast :) I'm pretty sure that over here you're not even legally considered an adult until your divorce. But then, we spawned Californication, so...

  4. Oh dear LORD, WTF is wrong with people?! Miranda, you did what you needed to do for yourself and your kids...if people want to judge you, screw them.