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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

How Did I Get Here?? Really...I Mean It

My life has morphed into a bad Lifetime movie. So, Sunday night I threw Russell's shit into the yard/car. Monday he worked and I took a mental health day. I kept Chloe home and told her that Mommy and Daddy are divorcing. She handled it REALLY well. I mean there were a few tears and she's super sad, but it wasn't like I expected. I think my parent's divorce desensitized her some. Anyway, he came home Monday night despite the advice of several people (myself included). The night started out ok, because he had told me that we would talk Monday night. Well, we never did...he told me after our very late dinner that he was "drained" and we would talk tomorrow morning. Initially I was ok with this, until I realized that he had been talking to everyone on the fucking island BUT me about the situation ALL day. He talked to my bff who's here visiting, his friend that is also here visiting, Damien, etc. The final straw was when I found him on the porch talking to his bf on the phone, but still would not communicate with me. I freaking lost my shit people...I mean I lost it. I slapped him and he anticipated it I guess b/c he grabbed me and threw me up against the door, holding me by the neck. I clawed at him, ripped his shirt, and caused him to bleed (which really seemed to piss him off the most of all the days events). It was a total domestic violence situation...and I initiated it...omfg...really?? Has my life come to this???? He had told me that he didn't have anywhere to sleep Monday night and if he left he would have to sleep in his car. It turns out that once he jumped his bf's car (which needs a new battery), that he was in fact able to leave and go to the bf's house to spend the night. I don't know what he's going to do now, but he can't come back here. We obviously can't co-exist anymore. He is coming back tonight after work at 11:30pm (when I plan to be asleep as I've had a whopping 6 hours of sleep in the last 2 days). I'm allowing this for Chloe's sake as she was super disappointed this morning when he was gone and b/c I need his car to get to work tomorrow so that I don't get fired. I called my Dad today and asked for money to help me buy a car. I mean for Christ's sake, I'm 34 years old and have to ask my Dad to buy me a freaking car...really??
Now on a funny note for you guys, apparently Gavin heard the commotion and came over about 20 minutes after Russell left. He invited me over for a glass of wine and to talk once he realized what all was going on. We ended up engaging in a little recreational substance use and I fucked him some at his house, but there were people over so we left and came back to my house where I fucked him on Russell's bed. Gavin's situation is fucked as well and we all remember the nasty ass gf, but I have to say he was just what the Dr. ordered last night...really.
-Jules

3 comments:

  1. I definitely think it's past the point where you and Russell can play happy families just for Chloe's sake. You are obviously both irritated at each other to the point of violence and I think the only way to preserve any sort of relationship (for the sake of your daughter) is to not be in each others' faces all the time. Maybe you do need to come back to the continent- would be easier to support yourself here- but I hope you can hold out until Miranda's visit!

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  2. I've thought many a time what a Lifetime Movie my life has turned into. Somehow or another you have to figure out how to keep your temper around him. From here on out it's all a game. Who's behaving better, who's breaking the rules. You don't want to give him any more ammunition than you absolutely have to. Hang in there!

    PS I will say that having sex with another man on your husband's bed is quite sweet revenge. During my darkest days when Duckie was being an absolute beast and calling me every name in the book, thinking about what I had done in the very spot he slept in was the only thing that kept my mouth shut.

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  3. LMAO, yep it's pretty sweet. ;) Asshole...there is so much cum in his bed right now that doesn't involve him, it's just a little gross and please DO NOT think I've washed his linens. I'm going to hold onto myself until he moves...I know now that it's short term and it's going to get me a lot more in the way of finances...I can do it...really, I'm thinking I can.
    -Jules

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