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Sunday, February 6, 2011

Is The Universe Fucking Kidding Me?

I had hardly posted my last entry and closed out my email telling Penn I never, ever wanted to see or hear from him again and what does he do? Texts me...I decided to respond and confront him. I thought it would be therapeutic for me (and it was). He apologized and said that since we had engaged in anal sex before, he thought after he stopped the first time and started again that it was ok. I explained why it wasn't ok and how he had taken it from sexual to controlling. He really didn't explain his shitty attitude at the end of the night, outside of saying he was embarrassed about how loud we (read me) were and his roommates were home. I didn't buy it and it all sounded like a lot of CYA BS to me. I did appreciate that he apologized. He told me that he hoped I didn't think he was an asshole (and that hopefully we had hung out enough for me to know this). Let me assure you guys, I do in fact think that he is. He also told me how much he enjoyed my company and doesn't want to end things on a bad note. I was fairly relentless and finally after I addressed the fact that he'd basically made me drive home totally drunk, he apologized again and we quit that conversation. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him at all, but his apology did help. 

As I'm sitting on the beach texting with Miranda, I told her that I'd actually sort of expected something like this from Clark at some point, but not Penn. I was/am still shocked and stunned that he was so forceful and controlling. Incidentally, he did apologize for hurting me physically and emotionally but he's still an asshole and I'm over it. Literally about 5 minutes after this text, Clark texted me saying he wanted to see me. Um, NO. I responded that I thought we had agreed that we weren't going to try to see each other again. He sent a few more texts back, but I just ignored him. I've declared my life an asshole free zone and violators will all be ignored henceforth. 

Gavin showed up on the beach about 30 minutes after all of this. I told him that it wasn't cool that he came over last night all jacked up. He apologized as well and said it wouldn't happen again because he really likes coming over and doesn't want to fuck that up. I'm a little tired of apologies today. I kind of wish people would just quit fucking with me and then there would be NO need for them. He did make it up to me though. We talked for a little while and then he went home to nap. He came over when Chloe and I got home from the beach and steamed crab legs for us for dinner. I love crab legs. They are one of my most favorite foods and while he has no idea what went down last night, his timing was as usual spot on for just being around when I needed him. 

In other news that I've forgot to post due to the drama, Russell has asked me to meet one of his friends. I fairly readily agreed.  The guy seems to be a nice guy that he enjoys spending time with, but he has assured me has no intentions of being in a bf relationship with anytime soon. He's apparently still very much in the closet and Russell assured me that there would be no indicators of anything sexual when Chloe was around. He said that unless they are behind closed doors, there's no indicator period. He misses Bob and wants someone to hang out with and do friend things with as well and because I have Gavin in that capacity, I get where he's coming from. I'm curious to meet him. He's Filipino and apparently fairly quiet. I imagine this meeting will occur sometime in the next week or so, so I'll keep you guys posted. 
-Jules

5 comments:

  1. I saw a great demotivational poster that I thought might either piss you off or make you think...maybe a little of both...here is the link...

    http://media.fakeposters.com/results/2009/07/16/3bhod16g85.jpg

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  2. Kenny, while I initially laughed at this b/c I'm a big fan of the demotivational posters...not all the failures in my relationships are due to me. I definitely have commitment issues and will sabotage a relationship in a second, but I'd like to point out most recently the issue with Penn. It is NOT my fault that he raped me. It is NOT my fault that he decided power and control was the way to go. With Clark, it's NOT my fault that he's so mentally ill that he can't function in a normal relationship. Yeah, I keep picking assholes...but seriously? I'm hoping by your comment you meant make me laugh instead of make me think. Given what just happened this weekend and your eloquent response to that, I would have assumed a little more compassion might have been in order. - Jules

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  3. I agree with Jules Kenny. Though funny, this was more than a little ill timed considering recent events.

    And thought us Infidelity Chronicle girls are not without our issues, we certainly do own up to them time and time again. I can think of at least a dozen occasions where Jules has commented on her own relationship issues.

    Miranda

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  4. Hell, I hadn't caught the last three posts until just now. I know it's been said, but that was definitely rape. And his excuse was that he was just trying to make you do something? That's not an excuse, that's a confession.

    Maybe in his head he figured that you'd like it, so it was okay even if you didn't consent. I don't know, but that still doesn't make it okay. Abominable behavior in an vaguely rationalizable situation is usually the first step towards abominable behavior whenever one feels the urge. Hopefully dumping his ass will be enough for him to see that.

    Congrats on recognizing that asshole is a tumor of a human being and cutting him out of your life like the cancer he is.

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  5. Unlike Jules and Miranda I did not find the poster funny or even thought provoking....well it did provoke some thoughts, but since this is not my blog I will keep most of those thoughts to myself.
    Whatever your intention was by posting that it was ill-timed and just plain wrong.
    ok i need to let this go now, I'm just getting pissed off.
    Josie

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