Wednesday, October 19, 2011

That's What Friends Are NOT For

Last night I was hanging out with McDreamy when one of his friends from home called him. They were chit chatting and naturally the conversation turned to me, his wonderful and amazing girlfriend!

What happened next is a replay of a conversation I've heard so many times I can't keep track. Basically, one guy calls another guy and gives him a hard time about having a girlfriend...about spending time with the girlfriend...makes fun of him for being faithful...picks on him and says things like "what are you getting married to this chick?"...essentially shames the guy for being in a relationship. I don't understand it.

Sure, girls can turn into man-hating male bashers pretty quick but not unless it's provoked aka the guy cheated on our friend, he treats her like shit, etc. We don't just call up our girlfriends and start railing them for having a boyfriend. We may lament at how we don't get to spend as much time together but as long as the man is treating her nicely we are nothing but supportive. My friends have all called and asked me about McDreamy and when I tell them how well it's going they say things like, "oh it's just like the movies, I'm so happy for you!"..."I can't believe this worked out it's fate, you guys are meant to be together"..."when do I get to come to wedding on the beach in Hawaii?"...."I'm so happy that you're happy"..."you deserve this I'm so happy for you"...words of encouragement and support!

I remember when Miranda was seeing Coach she encountered this very issue with one of his close friends. It was pretty obvious to her (and to me) that his friend was jealous of the time she spent with Coach and was angry that he was 'losing' his friend. Wouldn't it make more sense to be supportive and gain the trust and respect of the girlfriend so that she doesn't throw a temper tantrum any time her man wants to hang out with you? I can tell you from a woman's perspective that we usually put up a fight when our boyfriend/husband/partner wants to hang out with a friend who has done nothing but try to cause drama in our relationship or turn our man against us. I don't care if he's your best friend since 3rd grade, if he's been talking crap about me and/or our relationship I'm not going to be happy with you hanging out with him. We know how men typically are. There is a group mentality that goes on when men get together and I don't want my boyfriend being influenced by someone who is out to remove me from the picture - for no good reason at all.

Friends are supposed to be there for you to share in your happiness and success and to lift you up when you're down. They're not there to call you on a Tuesday night and tell you you're pussy whipped then laugh at you and tell you about all the hot skanks you're missing out on. I'm just sayin.



  1. Eh, it's a guy thing and especially a single guy thing. I disowned one of my oldest friends (I'd known the guy for twenty years!) when I realized that his playful banter had some real venom behind it.

    Try not to take it personally, as it has nothing to do with you personally. Some guys are just teasing because it's what they assume is done. Others are railing against their own fears of aging/loneliness/inadequacy. But in the end that teasing usually has a lot more to do with them than you.

  2. I think it just means that you're a great gf and his friend sees you as a threat. If you were a shitty gf that his friend thought wouldn't last, he wouldn't care. Guys are very protective. His friend is trying to re-mark his territory. Sounds like things are going well for you and McDreamy. I'm happy for you!