Free At Last
I found something the other day...my self esteem. I've missed it for the last year and a half. I'm not sure where it went, but I guess a divorce will do that to you. At any rate, Jules is BACK. I mean the old kick-ass version of Jules that most of you have never met. I am no longer hooking up with washed up addicts. I am no longer making concessions for people that don't belong in my life. By this I mean, I am no longer fucking Gavin. I am officially done.
When I'm done with you, I am over it. When I finally get to that point, you have reached the point of no return. The thing that pushed me over was re-reading old blog posts, realizing what a total asswipe he is, and realizing that I am essentially playing second string to his washed up addict gf (who didn't but very well could have given me herpes) and that very thought grossed me out on so many levels. I am not second choice to someone like that. I am so much better than this (read them).
I understand there will be critics because I've gone back so many times before, but not this time. This time, Jules is ready to make the change. If I believed in God, I'd thank him for being free at last. It honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off of me.
-Jules
PS My Dr visit today went VERY well. No signs of Herpes (whew!), no staph infection, and awaiting test results for others but feeling pretty damn good. I also talked her into a new birth control pill (Yaz), which should help to reduce my psychosis during PMS week (which is now, but I don't actually start Yaz until Sunday). The bad news is that I have a bad yeast infection, which explains the itching, and I can't have sex for a week while I treat it because it is apparently the 7 day treatment kind of bad and not the 3 day kind. I'll take a little ole yeast infection over herpes ANY day though!
When I'm done with you, I am over it. When I finally get to that point, you have reached the point of no return. The thing that pushed me over was re-reading old blog posts, realizing what a total asswipe he is, and realizing that I am essentially playing second string to his washed up addict gf (who didn't but very well could have given me herpes) and that very thought grossed me out on so many levels. I am not second choice to someone like that. I am so much better than this (read them).
I understand there will be critics because I've gone back so many times before, but not this time. This time, Jules is ready to make the change. If I believed in God, I'd thank him for being free at last. It honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off of me.
-Jules
PS My Dr visit today went VERY well. No signs of Herpes (whew!), no staph infection, and awaiting test results for others but feeling pretty damn good. I also talked her into a new birth control pill (Yaz), which should help to reduce my psychosis during PMS week (which is now, but I don't actually start Yaz until Sunday). The bad news is that I have a bad yeast infection, which explains the itching, and I can't have sex for a week while I treat it because it is apparently the 7 day treatment kind of bad and not the 3 day kind. I'll take a little ole yeast infection over herpes ANY day though!
Welcome back ;) Just keep that old Jules attitude when Gavin returns to the island and avoid him at all costs!
ReplyDeleteMiranda
Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteI should be ok again now that my ego is involved...lol. The thought of being second choice to an old, washed up, unemployed (no offense Gwyn - you're unemployed by choice) addict doesn't appeal to me. Furthermore, my reaction to this whole STD scare proved to me that I really don't trust him (or her) and I'm damn lucky all I have is a yeast infection!
ReplyDelete-Jules
I wonder what the connection between yeast infections and staphylococcus is. You would be the third case I've witnessed in my life where a male staph infection is connected to a female yeast infection. I know that if a female already has a staph infection, the treatment can make her susceptible to yeast infections. But you've never been treated for staph. And in at least one of the three cases, I know that the female's yeast infection predated the staph infection. Weird.
ReplyDeleteSorry, got a little bio-nerd there.
Until yesterday, I didn't even know that men could get staph infections there! It had never occurred to me. Staph is fairly rampant here though. As far as the correlation, I don't know but yes you definitely got a little bio nerd...lol. I was treated for staph right after we moved to HI in 2008, but it was on the back of my neck and no future outcroppings.
ReplyDelete-Jules