I found something the other day...my self esteem. I've missed it for the last year and a half. I'm not sure where it went, but I guess a divorce will do that to you. At any rate, Jules is BACK. I mean the old kick-ass version of Jules that most of you have never met. I am no longer hooking up with washed up addicts. I am no longer making concessions for people that don't belong in my life. By this I mean, I am no longer fucking Gavin. I am officially done.
When I'm done with you, I am over it. When I finally get to that point, you have reached the point of no return. The thing that pushed me over was re-reading old blog posts, realizing what a total asswipe he is, and realizing that I am essentially playing second string to his washed up addict gf (who didn't but very well could have given me herpes) and that very thought grossed me out on so many levels. I am not second choice to someone like that. I am so much better than this (read them).
I understand there will be critics because I've gone back so many times before, but not this time. This time, Jules is ready to make the change. If I believed in God, I'd thank him for being free at last. It honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off of me.
PS My Dr visit today went VERY well. No signs of Herpes (whew!), no staph infection, and awaiting test results for others but feeling pretty damn good. I also talked her into a new birth control pill (Yaz), which should help to reduce my psychosis during PMS week (which is now, but I don't actually start Yaz until Sunday). The bad news is that I have a bad yeast infection, which explains the itching, and I can't have sex for a week while I treat it because it is apparently the 7 day treatment kind of bad and not the 3 day kind. I'll take a little ole yeast infection over herpes ANY day though!