Just a quick post to say that this is such a fucking struggle...I actually talked to Gavin this morning. It seems after more ignored phone calls last night and this morning, he needed an additional reminder that I don't want to see or talk to him. He's totally confused as to why I changed the rules and my mind on how I want this to be....I don't think I've ever met anyone this stupid. Sadly, I have to admit it's still tearing me up. I want to just say "fine" and see him, but I'm NOT. Like I said, my ego is involved now and I know if I don't do it now, I'll just have to do it all over again in a little while. There is NO sense in prolonging the inevitable and it won't get easier to do again later, it will only get harder. I really liked it when he wasn't here. He keeps asking if we can't just be friends, of course we can't...moron.
On that note of all things fucked, Owen emailed me this morning to tell me he's going back to the Dr. on Monday because this stuff isn't healing and he's halfway through the antibiotic. OMG, I'm hoping they didn't misdiagnose him. I'm really freaking out about that, despite my Dr. visit. What if I did have it and mine just healed before I saw her?? I tried repeatedly to request the blood test, but she wouldn't do it. Also, he leaves to go to CA with his son from Nov. 1-7th. Sooooo, no sex for Jules for freaking eons. That is going to make not caving that MUCH harder...damn men, damn addictions. It might be time for new because just stewing in this is NO fun.