Slow it Down; I Want to Get Off This Bus

I try to not overtly dislike people, but you guys should know by now that when I'm over it, I'm over it. I'm working toward really being over it with Clark. I don't know what pull he has on me. I can't figure out what it is that I like about him so much, but I'm working toward being finished with him.

I never should have apologized. Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. Honestly, I've been reviewing his traits today and other than the fact that he's hot...there's not much else there. He's kind of boring. He's not very smart. He's narcissistic (but then again, so am I). He's a total ass. He doesn't make me laugh very often (boo!). I don't see a future because of his mood instability issues. I would not want him around my kid, nor would I consider at this point producing another one with him due to all of the things I now know...so what is my freaking deal? Why does my heart skip a little when he texts or IMs me? I'm not a glutton for punishment. Typically if a guy treated me anywhere close to how he has, I'd have kicked his ass to the curb looooong before now. Am I getting stupid in my old age?

In Gavin news, I'm kind of ready for him to move. The shiny newness has worn off...now, don't mistake this for me being over him too. I'm not...I still fully plan to continue this FWB thing, but I don't like living with him. He brings a lot of drama into my environment and I don't appreciate that. I love the cooking, I love the sex, I love his humor, but the constant whining about his gf is working my last nerve...seriously. (It is PMS week, but enough is enough.)

Last night, I actually had to shut the doors in my house and close the windows in one room so Chloe didn't overhear a yelling match with him and the gf on the telephone...totally inappropriate. It was addressed, but he's obviously a slow learner. He made mention last night of maybe moving to another friend's house and I didn't encourage him to stay. Russell feels the same. It's nice having him around in some aspects, but I'm afraid if he stays too much longer I'm going to think that he's too pathetic (with regards to the gf) and lose interest. I see it starting...last night, I went to bed without even saying good night.

I told Miranda the other day that other than Owen (who is the most perfect FWB relationship ever...no bullshit, no games, just straight up), I need to revamp Team Jules. I'll keep you posted on my progress. The only problem is that I'm SUPER busy with school and Clark and Gavin have been easy...but easy is boring me now. I need to mix it up some.
-Jules