Highs and Lows

The past week has been a pretty wild ride.  I’ve been so worried that I’d only focus and focus and focus on the anniversary of my dad’s death.  I’ve had a few low moments and one hard day but there has been so much weird, fun, odd, and crazy things that have happened it’s given me a lot to focus on other than my dad’s death.

Grandpa Twin is back with a vengeance trying to win me back over. He knows he screwed up big time.  First he was just emailing me but by today he is back to texting and telling me how attracted he is to me and how much he likes me.  I’m very whatever about him now though.  I so don’t want that drama and his issues. If he gets himself straightened out one day I’ll go out with him again but as I’ve said from the beginning, I just don’t think there’s a future there for us.

Thursday I bartended at a charity event where they organizer was coked out of his mind. Like he was clearly messed the fuck up in a bad bad way.  Then I look over and he’s walking around with a kitten.  Apparently he found he kitten a couple days before and decided he didn’t want to leave the kitten home alone.  He brought the kitten’s food bowl, water dish, and litter box. Then he just strolled around the event with the cat perched on his shoulder like a parrot.  Weird!

After the event, I went and hung out with SoCo.  He’s been getting a lot of time lately.  We sat and talked and listened to music for a long time. Then we were lying on his couch getting things started and he told me he thought I was “too good to be hanging out with him.  That I had it all going on.” HA!  It cracked me up.  Then he proceeded to take me to his bedroom and screw me till I was cross eyed.  It was a pretty great end to the night.

I got up that morning to a phone call from my mom that Ladybug was sick.  So I called in to work and headed over to see what was going on.  I ended up taking Ladybug to the DR who diagnosed her with a severe UTI and probable kidney infection.  Because of the severity of the infection and her high fever they recommended that I take her to the pediatric ER for further tests.  Yikes!

Duckie was out of town at the beach with his girlfriend so I was flying solo here.  I called him to fill him in on what was going on and for about 30 seconds I wanted to burst into tears and thought to myself, “This is why you need a fucking husband!”  Then I gave myself a strong mental slap and calmed back down.  I called my mom to fill her in and she freaked the hell out!  Incidentally, Friday was the “anniversary” of the day we think my dad was going to kill himself but Leo was at his house and instead he had a mental breakdown and we spent that night in the hospital getting him evaluated.

Incidentally, walking back into the very ER we went to after he shot himself was hard.  I was really focused on Ladybug but as I walked up to the door I literally stopped in my tracks for a minute and had to force myself forward.  I could remember walking in there the last time in total shock, falling apart, seeing the people in the waiting room looking at us in horror, and having a nurse standing there waiting to help us back to the private waiting room. 

They started checking out Ladybug and we had to walk down this one hallway to the ultrasound room and I had a total flash back to walking down the hall the night of my dad’s death and again I literally stopped in my tracks and couldn’t budge for a minute.  It was very surreal and very very very weird.

After a full day of doctors and ERs, I was quite happy when they sent us home with a prescription and instructions to follow up with our family doctor on Monday.  Friday night I really wanted to go to a party a friend of mine was having, I’d even asked SoCo to go with me because he knows her too.  Clearly that wasn’t meant to be so I had to cancel to take care of my poor little sickie.  It did make me laugh that multiple times throughout the day SoCo texted me to check on Ladybug and just let me know he was thinking about us.  I definitely think he’s feeling me – haha!

Thankfully Ladybug is a trooper and bounces back fairly quickly so last night I did get to go out with Gwyn and all the guys and girls for an awesome Halloween night.  It was a freaking blast!  I was a sex therapist – Miss B Havin.  HA!  I was writing prescriptions for things like Viagra, medical marijuana, and for Gwyn to remember that sex=love.  Where in the hell that came from I’ll never know.

Somehow we all got separated at the end of the night and I ended up at an after party at a friend’s house where the guy I’d been flirting with all night revealed he was married and I had to tell him to walk the plank.  I was pretty proud of myself for that because I was pretty freaking drunk and that’s usually when I make the dumbest decisions.  Then I promptly passed out in the friend’s bed and slept with him all night. HA!

Tonight Duckie and I took the kids trick or treating and surprisingly it felt really normal.  That’s definitely the longest amount of time we’ve spent together since we split and it was nice to see that we could be so friendly and “normal.”  It was very weird to be in the house though and sit down in the seat I always sat in to eat dinner beforehand.  I hope things keep being this nice and smooth with us.  There was also a weird moment where we ran into Sawyer and his wife and had to stand around and chit chat. AWKWARD!

Tonight I uploaded all my crazy pictures from last night and College Crush texted me all pissy about the number of pictures I have with the married guy. HA!  Friday night he texted me a bunch telling me how much he cares about me and how he will always be there for me.  He said he knows I’m out meeting other people but he hopes I’ll always have room in my life for him.   He’s becoming more and more of a gimp every day.

I’m sure the next two days will be hard but I can’t help but be thankful for all the wonderful people that have become party of my life in the last year.  They have time and time again helped me in so many ways! 

Miranda

PS - As far as my man sabbatical, it's gone pretty well.  I've not checked my PoF account and other than sending out a sexy Halloween costume picture last night, I haven't initiated any texting.  I'm kind of digging it.